FF:DESTINED TO LOVE(chapter 15 part 1 n 2 page 89)

I never thought i would be able to cope with it,loosing my parents,loosing my hope...I know people get devastated at such situation but me NO..I dealed with it...I never cried,never complained coz i still had my life to live.
While all the other 7 years old were holding their parent's hand and demanding 4 chocolate..I was holding my courage not to wish 4 affection coz it made people weak.i never let any emotion trigger into ma heart or affect me coz i never wanted to be weak.since life is not what we want it to be and life was never fair to me.so i never wished 4 anything so that i'll not get frustated...i never let anyone be close to me coz i didnt want to get hurt again when they got separated frm me.
But though I tried hard not to,i fell in love with him,i wished him to be mine 4ever n as a result I ended up being hurt again...but I'll not shed tears coz i know he is happy somewhere without me...with the one he loved...,..
Though it hurts to admit that i was the only one to love him.For him i was no more than a friend...but 4 me he was the light in ma life after years of darkness...
I will never face him again...never see him again so that i can move on with my life...its difficult to 4get him i know but i m trying n wil try till my last breath...
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(PIYA'S DIARY)

Dear diary,
i woke up this morning with the rising sun.when the rays welcomed the new day with its embrace,i felt different.I had never loved the sun so much.But then i thought-Do i hav the right to love it?if i began loving it at this rate,what would i be able to do if i happened to be captivated in dark some day.NO,i dont hav any right to love it.I have been loosing everything i loved.first my parents,then my home,then my orphanage,my frens n my hope,i have lost everything.so m afraid,m afraid to love n m afraid to hope 4 gud.

I still remember the day my parents died...a small girl of 5,crying over two blood dripping bodies of her parents...its so hard 2 survive when u happened to witness ur parent's murder with ur own eyes...
That day when i lost ma home...a small girl of 7 in ragged clothes dragged out of her own home by strangers n left on streets...
Some say I was lucky to survive frm the murder incident,bt i know how lucky i m to bear the searing pain in my heart with each n every passing second,m lucky to be tormented n tortured by the nightmare every night...at least m strong enough not to cry n bold enough not to show ma pain n weakness...
I m glad i survived till now but i dont want to have any false hope 4 future.The only thing i achieved till now is the scholarship n so m ready to grab this oppertunity.wel today's a new day bt every day is same 4 me,so no new hopes,no new wishes,lets just face whatever is there in store 4 me...

Hello sweetheart,
I m here again to tease u with my pen...Today's ma birthday n m super duper excited.I will be partying whole night.I know mom n dad would get dissapointed wid me bt they lov me so much that they'd easily 4give me.Hot girls n drinks...hmm...m gonna rock today's night.
But sth is bothering me.today was the day i met her,...i know nth about her except that c is n orphan n her name is piya...but after that day i never saw her again...
I know m careless,carefree n all time flirt but my parents r my greatest treasure n that girl made me realise it.I was angry wid my parents 4 nt giving me what i demanded on ma b'day so ran away frm ma hope to a park...saw a girl crying on the bench,sat down beside her n asked why was c crying.at first c denied then slowly stated that her parents were dead n c was all alone.

''are u really alone?wat does it feel like not to have parents''
(she replied with shuddering gasps...)
''It...it feels...like theres no-one 4 me,no-one to love me or...take care of me...it feels like living in a dark room without lights''
''r u afraid?''
''hmm...''
''so parents r really important''
''hmm...''
She was crying n i felt really bad 4 her.
''i m really sorry''
''no its ok''
She was abt 5 yrs old,3-4 yrs yonger than me but understood abt life,sorrow,dark n importance of parents.she made me realise that parents r really important n i did wrong by running away frm home 4 such a small matter.
''Where's ur home?''
''in this locality,a few houses ahead''
''wats ur name?''
''piya n urs''
i was abt to reply bt heard my parents calling my name,searching me.i ran towards them n asked 4 4giveness.wen i looked back c was gone.
I know i've written abt her many times bt whenever ma b'day comes,i want to meet her so badly.i tried searching her when we moved to that locality bt never found her.i guess c had moved frm there.if god is kind enough 4 me,he'll surely give me ma b'day gift n i'll meet her again.I dont know why but i feel as if i m going to meet her today.
Oh s__t,m already late 4 college.i cnt make girls wait 4 me right after all its ma b'day n a b'day guy has 2 rcv b'day wishes n kisses na...
Sorry sweetheart must go...c u tonight...