Halla Bol 52 : Time For Some Action - Page 38

Ek aadmi ne ek gawar naukar rakh liya aur usse samjhaya ki kissi ke naam lene se pahle JEE laga diya kare.

Thori der baad naukar bhagta hua aya aur bola…

"sahebji sahebji kutteji ne murgiji ko pakar liya hai."

This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a Mcdonald's fast-food establishment in Florida… And they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

Name: John Flower

Sex: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

Desired position: Company's president or vice president. But seriously, whatever available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

Desired salary: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a michael ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

Education: yes.

Last position held: Target for middle management hostility.

Salary: Less than I'm worth.

Most notable achievement: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

Reason for leaving: It sucked.

Hours available to work: Any.

Preferred hours: 1:30-3:30 p.M., Monday, tuesday, and thursday.

Do you have any special skills?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

May we contact your current employer: If i had one, would i be here?

Do you have any physical conditions that would prohibit you from lifting up to 50 lbs?: Of what?

Do you have a car: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

Have you received any special awards or recognition: I may already be a winner of the publishers clearing house sweepstakes.

Do you smoke: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

What would you like to be doing in five years: Living in the bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

Do you certify that the above is true and complete to the best of your knowledge?: Yes. Absolutely.

Sign here: Aries.

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.

The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said: "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"

The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."

The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver – I've been driving a van carrying dead Bodies for the last 25 years…..

Element name: WOMAN

Symbol: WO

Atomic weight: (don't even go there)

Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled.

Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen.

Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

Originally posted by: Selinapiya

I want a CRIME partner..story partner...and Siggy partner..etc...

stupid nomination but a loyal partner...🤣