Part 2
Krishna walked back towards the room in which Pratigya was staying, how could this of happened? Everything was going so well...and now all of this? His thoughts clouded his head and he walked aimlessly bumping in to a nurse. He snapped out of his thoughts and realized he had made the nurse drop her files.
He helped her pick them up, "I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention," he apologized.
The nurse smiled, "seems like something is upsetting you sir, its completely fine." With that the nurse walked away and Krishna sighed as he resigned himself to a bench. He sighed and closed his eyes, resting his head against the wall.
He went closer to her to put on her mangalsutra, his fingers trembling as he leaned in. Why was he so nervous? He looked back at his aunt, who nodded her head and assured him everything was fine. He felt like an idiot in that moment, being the man, he felt stupid for being more nervous than his bride...after all she was the one who was leaving her life for him. He took a deep breath as he leaned in closer and began to put the mangalsutra around her neck.
He felt his cheeks touch the side of hers, and the heat created between them made him even more nervous. He was having trouble putting on the necklace as her breathing was ringing in his ears. Finally somehow he got it on and began to pull away, whispering 'sorry' ever so softly into her ear.
As he pulled away he looked at her face, which had a hint of a smile upon it- shit had she sensed his nervousness? She then lifted her gaze to meet his and for the first time, their eyes locked. She mouthed 'its okay,' and there was something magical in that moment. For the first time in a long time, Krishna could see the amazing beginning of a life long journey.
He snapped out of his thoughts as a hospital volunteer with a food trolley passed him. He stood up once again, and the realized in that moment how sweaty his palms had become. He wiped them on his pants and began walking again. How am I going to bear her not recognizing me? The thought gnawed at his head over and over again, he was so lost that it took him a while to realize he had passed room 208.
He shook his head. Come on Krishna, you have seen worse times, at least she is still alive...snap out of it! This isn't the time for you to become weak. He took a couple of steps back and finally reached room 208.
He peeped inside, his heart beating hard against his chest. He scanned the room and there was no one inside of the bed, where had she gone? Krishna started to become frantic, when
suddenly his eyes fell upon her, standing at the window, with her back to him. He didn't know what to do, for the first time he didn't know what to do in front of her. He decided to clear his throat, to make his presence known to her. "Ahem...Ahem."
She turned around abruptly from the window, the sun hitting her face and lighting up her pale white skin. My God your beautiful...even after so much time together...you still manage to take my breath away.
"Did you say something?" she asked, the nervousness in her voice clearly obvious.
"No...no I didn't," he said as he stood there dumb founded.
"May I ask who you are then?" she said as she hugged her hospital gown, becoming more nervous at his unmoving gaze.
"Oh," he said, remembering once again everything that had just happened. He wanted to run and hug her at that very moment, kiss her pale face and never let her go. He was so happy just having her alive, he couldn't bear standing this far apart from her for a second longer- and then the doctor's words came back to him, like a gigantic wave crashing upon him.
"Don't push it."
"I-I am...Krishna," he finally managed to let out, the very act of introducing himself to her like this, made him seem like he was having some sort of outer body experience.
"Oh..." she replied, instantly looking down at the ground.
"Do you wanna leave this place now? Come home?" he asked, taking a step towards her.
"Home?" she repeated, the word seeming foreign to her as it escaped her lips.
"I mean-"
"Can I have a moment?" she cut him off.
"Yea of course, take your time," he replied, the words stinging him. He walked back and then stopped at the door. "Sign out time at the hospital is almost over...I suggest you gather your stuff. I will wait outside in the hallway." With that he left her alone in the room.
**
Pratigya plopped herself on to the bed, and let the tears come freely. She gripped the side of her bed as her wet tears covered her face.
Why is all this happening to me? Why can't I remember? A husband? My wedding? Everything seemed to be surreal, the ground was breaking from underneath her. Last she remembered she was at home in Palampur and the only mention of her wedding was her mother's off handed comment about some boy coming to see her. Was this the boy? She suddenly hated herself for not remembering what was meant to be some of the most intimate and personal moments of her life. She made a fist and began hitting the pillows.
How was she meant to react to all this? Was she meant to just accept some stranger as her husband? How is she meant to act around him? Where was her family? What was she doing in some foreign country?
She finally collapsed on to the bed and cried once again, this time more loudly, but her cries were muffled by the pillows.
**
Krishna sat restless upon the bench, thinking about going inside the room to get her, but he didn't want to scare her...and besides right now it was best to keep his distance. What if she decided she doesn't want to be with me? What if she wants to go back to India? She has every reason to want to stay away from me...its no longer like she knows me-
His thoughts were interrupted by her coming out in to the hallway, holding her small suitcase. She had changed in to one of her loose t-shirts and jeans, she looked up at him staring at her and suddenly felt awkward in her own clothes. Krishna realized this and quickly moved his eyes away and began to walk.
He felt her silently walking behind him, how far was he meant to stay away from her? Was he allowed to talk to her? Finally they reached the reception desk of the hospital and he signed the release forms. He turned around to see her standing behind him, a good distance away that was, gazing off into space.
"Mrs. Singh," said a passing nurse to her. Pratigya didn't notice, how would she? When she went from Pratigya Saxena to Pratigya Singh, she had no idea. "Mrs. Singh," the nurse said again tapping her shoulder.
"Hmmm," Pratigya said turning around, "sorry but...Mrs. Singh?"
"Yes Mrs. Krishna Singh," the nurse said smiling, "you are leaving today, I just wanted to wish you the best of luck....you have an amazing husband you know," the nurse said staring at Krishna. "He took so much care of you after your accident, may God bless the both of you," the nurse said as she walked away.
Pratigya looked at Krishna and then looked away. Mrs. Singh? How odd and out of place that sound to me...how am I going to deal with this? Feeling out of place with myself and everything around me at all times?
Krishna gazed at Pratigya, whose face had suddenly gone from neutral to worried and scared. He wanted to comfort her, but he knew he couldn't. He should have stepped in when the nurse approached her, but maybe the ray of hope inside of him, that the nurse may make her remember something stopped him. He sighed and went up to Pratigya. "Lets go," he said and began to walk out. Pratigya silently followed him, feeling like she was being led through a dark tunnel, with no beginning or end.
They stepped outside, and it was suprisingly chilly, the cold hit Pratigya's skin, giving her goosebumps. She hugged herself to give herself some warmth. Krishna turned around to notice this, he quickly removed his jacket and came towards her. She looked up and cautiously stepped back.
"Your cold...please wear this." She didn't reply for a while, this agitated Krishna and without thinking he went up to her and threw his jacket upon her, wrapping her in it. Her body shook, not from the cold, but from his touch...which was now so foreign to her. She turned to face him, and their eyes met. His face was only inches away from her, and she looked at him for the first time since he had come in to her hospital room.
Her eyes explored his forehead, his deep set eyes, his nose, his lips...the bone structure of his face. Why can't I remember you? WHY?! Her mind screamed at her and suddenly she realized how tightly his arms were wrapped around her and she pulled away.
Krishna snapped back to reality and took a step back. Had he gone too far? "Sorry," he said rubbing his forehead. She didn't reply, and suddenly he felt like he needed to be away from her...like he just wanted to breathe...be away from this nightmare which had become his life. "I'll get the car," he finally said. She just nodded at this and he walked away.
I'm sorry Pratigya...I just couldn't help it. How am I just meant to stay detached in all of this, is that even possible for me? Being completely detached from you? From YOU!? Of all people.
He finally reached the car and got inside, he turned on the car, waiting for the engine to warm up. Are you going to give up that easy Krishna? Just stand by and not do anything? A voice whispered in his ear, what seemed to him was probably his own conscious.
No...no. I won't let her go that easy. He felt himself replying back....no not that easy. Even if it means that I will have to go over some hurdles...whats love if not worth fighting for? Don't worry Pratigya...I won't let you down...even if it means I have to make you fall in love with me all over again.
Edited by CanadianAddict - 15 years ago