ArHi SS: Heartbeat Radio - Completed - Page 22

Posted: 10 years ago
Originally posted by Kishmish


Just started reading Heartbeat Radio ... πŸ˜ƒ  
Thank you Meera for sharing the link ... 


Thank you for coming back :-)
Posted: 10 years ago
i just read it all parts in one go...wonderful
Posted: 10 years ago
14. Ties

It's a soul fractured to the bone, its a life falling forever endlessly in a bottomless pit, its a mind sharing a bed with insanity, its a limbo made up of leaky dreams and faulty decisions; gone to gallows, fallen into trenches, drowned in marsh. But...but when a sliver of hope glimmers at
the edge of despair, its everlasting light dredges all the things dark and corrupt, cleanses charred residues left by scarring hurts and rejections and...frees. Just frees.

*****

He finds her in her room carding through piles of clothes and instructing a dhobi patiently. He stands in doorway and watches the way she interacts with the man and the seriousness behind her action. She takes everything that comes to her way seriously and its one of those things she has managed to rubbed off on him. He wonders idly, watching the clothes moving from pile to pile, when he started taking things for granted. She looks up from her chore and dashes a smile across and stands up giving final instructions.

"You seem...happy," she says carefully. She reaches out and touches his face when he walks to her, her thumb grazing across his dimple. Her smile widens when she feels the dimple deepen.

"It's strange considering what I am about to tell you." He eyes his sister. He feels like a jackass for feeling this exhuberent but since he is going to hell anyway, he doesn't care.

"Is everything okay?" Anjali asks, taking a step back looking at him. Her conflict plays in the slight uplift of her lips, the frown and the mild panic that sets off in her eyes.

He grabs her hands before she assumes the worst and squeezes its gently. "I wont marry Lavanya." He says clearly. Loudly. His heart doesn't change its pace and that for him is a testament how strong his decision is.

As expected, Anjali's face crumples. "I thought...I thought you were ready for..." Her voice stops supporting her thought. Her disappointment is palpable on his tongue.

"I don't want to marry Lavanya, di." He isn't in mood for metaphors or long winded amalgamated responses.

Anjali is momentarily taken aback. "You threw tantrum like five year old and acted like a child when Naani refused to accept Lavanya. And now, after all this, you don't want to marry her?"

Disbelief in her voice pinches him. "Di-"
She barrels over him. "Is it marriage you are against or was this all one giant game of power for you?"

It shouldn't have hurt but it did. He didn't know when everything he did start becoming a backhanded way of getting back at people or just...mean.

He goes for the jugular. "I am in love with Khushi." He says, as a matter of fact.

"So what? Now you are going to ditch her post-engagement?" He takes a step back at the harshness of her tone. Tears glaze her eyes and anger tints her cheek red.

"Isn't it better if I come to terms with what I feel for her rather than living in a lie for the rest of both our lives?" His tone hits a nerve.

The slap reverberates in her room as an ugly reminder of the moment she lost sight of who was in front of her but only the words which moved like an ocean.

Arnav holds his ground and it takes every ounce of willpower not to reach for his cheek and rub across it. Not to mention the hurt her response has generated.

"When you tell Lavanya that you don't love her anymore, I will be there right next to her holding her hand. Because fifteen years ago a man said exactly the same thing on my wedding day and left me at the wedding alter.

So since I have a first hand experience in last moment rejection and earth shifting life changing moments, I think I will be standing next to Lavanya to see the man you have become."

Arnav swallowed thickly. He doesn't have a response ready nor will he ever have one at his disposal. He was so far deep in his own mind that he hadn't realized the body count he left in his wake. His lack of miscalculation only showed the extent of his involvement with Khushi and how wrapped he was in his self-generated misery and complexities that simplicity had completely escaped him.

Without answering, he turns around and walks away from her room. They were going to be alright one day. After all this was over and Lavanya understands what his decision truly meant. He wants to tell Anjali that Lavanya is much stronger than she ever was, but he doesn't.

*****

Strength of character doesn't come with grading system. Extent of grief doesn't have levels. They just are. They exist next to our bones, inside our flesh and in between laughter. They work along with us, sometime grows and sometimes dims with passing time. Memories bring them to surface, scratch an old scar and bleed it a little. But again with time, it heals.

******

He hopes, one day, that this moment gets stuffed amidst loaves of good memories. And when either she or he remembers, they would only sigh in momentary grief.

And he would wait patiently for the day to come, his salvation in its wake.


Happy Pongal / Sankranti / Lohri everyone!

My apologies for the delay. I have no valid reason for not writing but just that when I did have some time to write, the words that I wrote didn't satisfy me. The initial words written is what I was looking at, in the first place. I wanted Arnav to draw parallels between her and Lavanya or at least is made aware of. Hope the wait made sense :-)

Will post respond to comments through out the day :) Have a good day!
Edited by greenteaholic - 10 years ago
Posted: 10 years ago
I don't think I have ever come across another such comparison between Anjali and Lavanya. That was an astute observation. Both these women have been/are about to be ditched by the men they love and believe in.
Anjali hits the nail on the head when she asks him if it was all a game of power for him. Her words are true, and Arnav acknowledges it, yet, I doubt if Anjali does know her brother as well as she claims to. Her (non)reaction to Arnav taking Khushi's name is strange. Not one ounce of surprise, and a complete avoidance of the new name. Maybe the reaction will come later, I don't know. Anjali has problems when her world is shaken up, even a little. Make me wonder if she is living in a lie too. Also, Shyam when?

I thought that the truth sets you free. But freedom always has a price. Having hope, like Arnav does right now, perhaps makes it a little less painful to pay.

Edited: Ok, so I had to come back and clarify this thing about Anjali. Like Meera says, and I agree,  it is presumptuous of Arnav to feel she is less strong because she rehashes old wounds. What I do feel, however, is an inability in Anjali to accept that relationships change. Arnav is with Lavanya, hence he must love her and be with her. Period. The possibility of Khushi changing his world (and by extension, hers) is unfathomable to her, and she seems to completely ignore it.  I don't know what you're planning with Shyam, but this worries me.
Edited by StripePurple - 10 years ago
Posted: 10 years ago
I am off IF almost permanently now but like a habit that doesn't let me go, I can't help but log in once to see if something has changed when I know nothing ever does. So I understand what Anjali didn't say here - the hope and a broken heart that refuses to accept that it was as simple as the end of "love".

Despite what Arnav says to himself, the hurt his sister carries is NOT a reflection of the strength of her character - it never is. Only someone who can feel as passionately, can be there for someone else like Anjali vows to. Yes, you could argue that she needs to understand what her brother wants - but her brother is the one making the decision while someone else waits for the bomb to drop (or maybe she knows - the fact doesn't change anything)

I am almost disappointed with Arnav here - not because he has discovered love elsewhere - but because he judges his sister in a moment of reveberated hurt. 

Lavanya will be fine eventually like Arnav hopes. Yes, every once in a while, it will only bleed a little till it fades into nothing.

Or it stay like a hole in the heart that keeps you alive but when was that ever the point?
Posted: 10 years ago
Originally posted by greenteaholic


14. Ties

It's a soul fractured to the bone, its a life falling forever endlessly in a bottomless pit, its a mind sharing a bed with insanity, its a limbo made up of leaky dreams and faulty decisions; gone to gallows, fallen into trenches, drowned in marsh. But...but when a sliver of hope glimmers at
the edge of despair, its everlasting light dredges all the things dark and corrupt, cleanses charred residues left by scarring hurts and rejections and...frees. Just frees.

<div align="center">*****
</div>
He finds her in her room carding through piles of clothes and instructing a dhobi patiently. He stands in doorway and watches the way she interacts with the man and the seriousness behind her action. She takes everything that comes to her way seriously and its one of those things she has managed to rubbed off on him. He wonders idly, watching the clothes moving from pile to pile, when he started taking things for granted. She looks up from her chore and dashes a smile across and stands up giving final instructions.

"You seem...happy," she says carefully. She reaches out and touches his face when he walks to her, her thumb grazing across his dimple. Her smile widens when she feels the dimple deepen.

"It's strange considering what I am about to tell you." He eyes his sister. He feels like a jackass for feeling this exhuberent but since he is going to hell anyway, he doesn't care.

"Is everything okay?" Anjali asks, taking a step back looking at him. Her conflict plays in the slight uplift of her lips, the frown and the mild panic that sets off in her eyes.

He grabs her hands before she assumes the worst and squeezes its gently. "I wont marry Lavanya." He says clearly. Loudly. His heart doesn't change its pace and that for him is a testament how strong his decision is.

As expected, Anjali's face crumples. "I thought...I thought you were ready for..." Her voice stops supporting her thought. Her disappointment is palpable on his tongue.

"I don't want to marry Lavanya, di." He isn't in mood for metaphors or long winded amalgamated responses.

Anjali is momentarily taken aback. "You threw tantrum like five year old and acted like a child when Naani refused to accept Lavanya. And now, after all this, you don't want to marry her?"

Disbelief in her voice pinches him. "Di-"
She barrels over him. "Is it marriage you are against or was this all one giant game of power for you?"

It shouldn't have hurt but it did. He didn't know when everything he did start becoming a backhanded way of getting back at people or just...mean.

He goes for the jugular. "I am in love with Khushi." He says, as a matter of fact.

"So what? Now you are going to ditch her post-engagement?" He takes a step back at the harshness of her tone. Tears glaze her eyes and anger tints her cheek red.

"Isn't it better if I come to terms with what I feel for her rather than living in a lie for the rest of both our lives?" His tone hits a nerve.

The slap reverberates in her room as an ugly reminder of the moment she lost sight of who was in front of her but only the words which moved like an ocean.

Arnav holds his ground and it takes every ounce of willpower not to reach for his cheek and rub across it. Not to mention the hurt her response has generated.

"When you tell Lavanya that you don't love her anymore, I will be there right next to her holding her hand. Because fifteen years ago a man said exactly the same thing on my wedding day and left me at the wedding alter.

So since I have a first hand experience in last moment rejection and earth shifting life changing moments, I think I will be standing next to Lavanya to see the man you have become."

Arnav swallowed thickly. He doesn't have a response ready nor will he ever have one at his disposal. He was so far deep in his own mind that he hadn't realized the body count he left in his wake. His lack of miscalculation only showed the extent of his involvement with Khushi and how wrapped he was in his self-generated misery and complexities that simplicity had completely escaped him.

Without answering, he turns around and walks away from her room. They were going to be alright one day. After all this was over and Lavanya understands what his decision truly meant. He wants to tell Anjali that Lavanya is much stronger than she ever was, but he doesn't.

<div align="center">*****
</div>
Strength of character doesn't come with grading system. Extent of grief doesn't have levels. They just are. They exist next to our bones, inside our flesh and in between laughter. They work along with us, sometime grows and sometimes dims with passing time. Memories bring them to surface, scratch an old scar and bleed it a little. But again with time, it heals.

<div align="center">******
</div>
He hopes, one day, that this moment gets stuffed amidst loaves of good memories. And when either she or he remembers, they would only sigh in momentary grief.

And he would wait patiently for the day to come, his salvation in its wake.


Happy Pongal / Sankranti / Lohri everyone!

My apologies for the delay. I have no valid reason for not writing but just that when I did have some time to write, the words that I wrote didn't satisfy me. The initial words written is what I was looking at, in the first place. I wanted Arnav to draw parallels between her and Lavanya or at least is made aware of. Hope the wait made sense :-)

Will post respond to comments through out the day :) Have a good day!


an awesome update ! different thinking n narration...hats offEdited by spurthisp - 10 years ago
Posted: 10 years ago
Originally posted by neverbefore


What is he about to tell his sister??!!!! πŸ˜²
It's amazing how you pull the reader in with such ease... each part is not that long but you convey it all with such precision. It's beautiful writing. 

I love how they both 'get' each other but still feel they need to play the game. Is that all ending now??? Will Arnav come clean and play straight?? It'll be so heartbreaking for Lavanya but she knows the reality as much as Arnav and Khushi. 

I can't wait to read Anjali's perspective 


Thank you so much! I am not a fan of too many words in the first place and long prose tend to put me off. I think its more like they are at an impasse and its Arnav whose intentions are all over the place. She just wants him to make up his mind.

Anjali's perspective is now available :-)
Posted: 10 years ago
Originally posted by sonakshimehta29


Dis ff draws u too diff length of imagination..
Here its nly describing arshi..bt drr love n hate relationshp to diff heights..n thoughts use over here is so unbilevable..
I love dis story very much...
😊 πŸ˜ƒ


Thank you :-)
Posted: 10 years ago
Originally posted by Oyester09


Like the way the layers get peeled in this story. Waiting to read the next part.
 
BTW...Happy New Year!


Thank you and wish you a very happy new year :-)
Posted: 10 years ago
Originally posted by meera30


Been too long since we last tuned in to Heartbeat Radio - just saying ;)

Happy 2014 to you, GTH


Happy new year Meera. My apologies for being horribly late in both wishing and updating :-)

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