Part 34: A Statement, a Promise, and a Promise Denied
It was two in the morning but sleep was far away from Khushi. She sat on the broad step that separated her French window from her backyard, holding a cup of steaming coffee in her hand, looking wistfully at the bench in front of the rose bush. The moon shone brightly in the clear sky and the gentle wind played with her hair. In any other circumstances, with Arnav sitting next o her, holding a similar cup of coffee, this would be the perfect night. A ghost of a smile appeared on her lips as she recalled her dream from the night before. She also recalled the blissful moments she'd spent with Arnav on that bench. She remembered that conversation as if it had happened minutes ago.
"I was thinking how one decision can change the course of your life...my decision to not listen to you that day and go in for that meeting changed our lives...it changed everything...and my decision to come here to adopt a child changed our lives again...all it takes is one decision...I'd never really given much thought to how many lives could be connected to an individual's decision..."
"Sometimes one decision is all it takes."
She chuckled sadly as the truth of those words sunk in again. Life had been going just fine. She was finally finding her happiness with him. She was finally falling in love with him all over again. He was finally easing up and opening up to her and then BAM! His decision to step out of the car to help that girl had landed them in this wretched situation.
Not that she regretted it for even a moment. He had helped her. He had saved her from becoming another Khushi or worse...another Anjali. She was grateful to him. She respected him for this. She was glad that Arnav's interference had saved her from further trauma. But she didn't like what the accusation had done to him.
She hated it. She hated seeing that glint of fear in his eyes, the obvious plea floating alongside that fear. The fear of losing her. She hated seeing him being unable to believe that she trusted him. She hated seeing him so vulnerable. She was worried about what would happen tomorrow. Would the girl remember that he was the one who tried to help her? Would the trauma of the situation cloud her memories? Would she mistake him for one of those ruthless men who were trying to hurt her? Would she have been able to differentiate between her assaulter and her saviour?
Khushi was brought out of her thoughts when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned to see Kripa take a seat next to her. Kripa looked at her once and then both ladies turn to look at the blooming yard.
"Regretting trusting him?" Kripa asked tentatively.
"No." Khushi's reply was immediate and firm. It made Kripa smile.
"Then why are you awake at this hour, looking so lost in thoughts? And from the look of that black coffee, it seems to me that you don't want to sleep..." Kripa said light heartedly.
Khushi gave her a small smile and stared at the bench again. A couple minutes passed in silence as Khushi tried to put her thoughts into proper sentences.
"I'm worried about him." Khushi spoke at last. And I miss him. She added mentally. Oh, God! She was missing him!
She heard Kripa take a deep breath and in and let it out before saying, "me too."
Khushi turned to look at her, surprised at the tone of understanding.
"I know what you're thinking...you're worried that he'll get a fresh reminder of the past, right?" Kripa asked.
Khushi wanted to scoff at that but didn't. If only Kripa knew about the horrid nightmares that reminded him of the past every freaking morning. If only she knew how he woke up every day screaming for Khushi. If only she knew that those nightmares robbed him of peace to the point where he needed anti-anxiety medication go back to sleep. But Khushi wasn't about to say anything about that. Their past was exposed to too many people as it was. Khushi pushed the thought out of her mind and went on a rant about her fears.
"I'm worried that he'll retread back into his shell...I saw it in his eyes today...the fear...the guilt...it was all there. He seemed alright when I left but I don't think him being alone all these hours will help. He'll over-think it all and try to convince himself that I don't believe him. I'm almost certain that I'll see that agonized expression on his face when I go back tomorrow." Khushi said quietly but the frustration was evident in her voice.
Kripa placed a reassuring hand on Khushi's knee. "That's where you step in, Khushi. You know his guilt isn't leaving him...he's trying to let go but something is stopping him..."
The freaking nightmares are stopping him! Khushi thought with a frown. How the hell is he supposed to let go when it keeps haunting him every night?
A few seconds later, Kripa went on. "But your presence changes that for him. When you're around, he seems to get some sort of reassurance that he isn't imagining all this. And with this stupid case in the way...he might remember things again and there might be a change in him again but you'll just have to be with him through this. As long as you're by his side, he'll make it out of this just fine."
Khushi thought over Kripa's words. Her presence made a difference to him, she knew. She could sense it in his behaviour, in his body language. He'd made it as obvious as black on white that he hated the goodbyes at her doorstep or at the orphanage. The twinkle in his eyes every time she asked him to stay over made it obvious. And then an idea struck her. She turned to Kripa with a smile on her face.
"Can you do me a favour, Kripa?"
---
Khushi reached the hospital early in the morning with her lawyer and Kripa. Leaving the lawyer to speak to the inspector, and leaving Kripa to take Aman's place, Khushi walked into Arnav's room. Relief washed over her when she saw him smile at her. So he hadn't retreated back into his shell. Thanking Devi maiyya in her mind, she walked to his bedside, grinning widely. She kissed his forehead in a greeting and sat down on the stool next to his bed.
"How are you feeling?" She inquired, eyeing the bandage on his forehead.
He shrugged and took her hand in his. "I feel fine. Better than last night."
Khushi smiled at him. "You look like you've slept well. I guess no punishment for you."
He gave her a small smile. "Too bad I can't say the same...you look tired."
Khushi swallowed. Even after speaking to Kripa last night, Khushi hadn't been able to get much sleep. She was hoping he wouldn't notice but who was she kidding? He was Arnav Singh Raizada. Of course he noticed.
"Is something bothering you?" He asked when she didn't give him a verbal response.
"I was worried about you." She said honestly. "But now that I know that you're feeling fine and that you've slept well...I'm not worried." Okay, so maybe it wasn't the whole truth but she wasn't going to tell him what was really bothering her. If he didn't seem to be retreating back into his shell, why would she plant the idea in his head by mentioning it?
From that point, the two flowed into a general conversation and inquiries. He asked about Amber and Aditya and she told him that they were asleep when she got home and that they've told him to get better soon before she left this morning. They had obviously tried to accompany Khushi to the hospital but she had decided that she didn't want them to be here. There was no need to expose them to police, and more possible arguments between Arnav and them or Khushi and them.
After about half an hour, Inspector Rao walked in accompanied by Khushi's lawyer and Khushi's smile vanished immediately. She glared at the cop, her anger from last night returning. Arnav squeezed her hand to calm her down.
"We need to take his statement." Inspector Rao spoke stiffly.
"Mrs. Raizada, you will have to step out for a few minutes." Mr. Sharma, her lawyer said politely.
Khushi looked at Arnav and he nodded at her to go ahead. Khushi stood up, squeezed his hand once, and left reluctantly. If she had her way, she would have stayed but her lawyer knew what he was doing. If he suggested that she should leave, it was probably necessary. She found Aman in the hallway, looking haggard.
"Aman!" She whined. "I told you to go home!"
"B-But ASR..." Aman started and Kripa rolled her eyes.
"Your boss has his wife here, Aman. You need sleep! You look like a zombie right now. And I told you the plan right? I can't get into Arnav's house without you there." Kripa tried to explain.
Aman gave in. Kripa smiled at the man and turned to face Khushi.
"As soon as I'm done, I'll come back, okay? You don't worry...this will be over by sunset tonight." Kripa smiled encouragingly. With an exchange of hugs, Aman and Kripa left.
Khushi paced impatiently outside his room for nearly twenty five minutes. Her patience ran out by the minute and it took everything she had to not barge into that room and scream at the stupid inspector. Just as the thought crossed her mind, the door opened and the ruthless man stepped out with her lawyer. Mr. Sharma nodded curtly to the cop and headed over to Khushi.
"Don't worry. He hasn't said anything different from what you told me. He just seems to be sucked into this case because he was found at the scene. I just don't understand how all five of them were unconscious. Mr. Raizada said that one of them had been knocked unconscious by him during the brawl. We'll have to wait for the girl's statement, as you know. All she needs to confirm is that Mr. Raizada was trying to help her and that's that. After that, Mr. Raizada will have to be a witness for the others' trial. In fact, if we get her statement today, he can go home right after."
Khushi took a deep breath and nodded. She had figured this much already but it was assuring to have a lawyer echo your thoughts. All she could do at this point was stay with Arnav and wait for the girl to wake up.
---
After three hours of nervous waiting and random conversations later, Khushi and Arnav finally found themselves interrupted by a knock on the door. Arnav's heart thudded nervously as he watched inspector Rao walk in. Arnav felt the same nervousness reflect in Khushi's hold on his hand which instantly tightened. Nervously or encouragingly, he couldn't tell.
Mr. Sharma followed inspector Rao in with another lawyer.
"Miss Priya has regained her consciousness. She has given her statement already." Inspector Rao spoke smugly. "According to her, there were three men who abducted her from an isolated area of the street. She struggled with them and tried to escape but she was outnumbered. She mentioned that a fourth man had stepped in during this time and he had gotten into a physical fight in an attempt to save her."
The grey clouds broke through to let a ray hope in. Khushi's breaths slowed down as she waited for the inspector to continue. Arnav's nervousness still existed. He knew there was more of the story and the smug expression on Rao's face didn't make him feel any calmer.
The silence in the room was eerie. No one spoke or even as much as moved for the next few seconds.
"Mr. Raizada, her statement coincides with yours to some extent. Of course we have the statement of the other two culprits as well, though they deny being involved. We have asked her to identify the abductors and the fourth man who tried to help her. She has confirmed that the man who died last night was one of the four men present and that he was the one that she had shot. You have any other changed you would like to make to your statement before we bring her in to identify you?"
"No." Arnav said flatly.
The policeman nodded at him and went to the door. Arnav and Khushi exchanged a glance. They broke they eyelock when they heard the door close again.
Arnav turned around to face the inspector and he could see a shivering figure behind him. Two more policemen stood behind her. Inspector Rao moved aside and Arnav's breath hitched. Khushi took a quick glance at the girl and suddenly she had the urge to go up to her and give her a consoling her. Khushi felt a lump in her throat and she turned away to look at Arnav. He had a horrified expression on his face as he took in the girl in front of him.
The girl, Priya, was a painful sight. Her pallor was pale, multiple bruises and scratches on her arms. She was shivering visibly. She slowly raised her head to look at him. Her eyes were hollow and expressionless. That only lasted a second. Her eyed widened when she looked at him and the next second, she broke out in sobs.
And then the scene shifted. Suddenly, there was a pale, bruised, shivering, and sobbing Khushi standing in front of him. The sobs that escaped Priya were Khushi's. He had seen this before. He had heard this before. He had done this to his wife before. He closed his eyes shut and lowered his head but the memory wouldn't fade. He felt a gentle squeeze on his hand and the memory became more vivid. His heart shattered as the realization hit him like a physical blow.
The woman standing next to him right now, holding onto his hand, and supporting him was the same woman who had looked like this girl five years ago. He had done that to her. He felt too disgusted with himself to touch her. His grip on her hand automatically loosened but she didn't let go.
"He's the one!" Priya bellowed, breaking the pin drop silence. Arnav's eyes flew open but he willed himself to not look at her. He felt Khushi freeze next to him. He heard Priya take a couple of staggering steps closer to his bed.
"He's the one who tried to help me! He...Thank you! Thank you!" Priya sobbed even harder. Gratefulness dripped from the words she had spoken. Arnav's head turned to face her slowly and his heart clenched.
She was so young. She was beautiful. And he had a nagging feeling that she must have been a fun loving girl. She must have been a happy girl with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eyes. The smile was replaced by tears and the twinkle in her eyes by hollow depths.
Priya walked up to him until she stood opposite from Khushi. She folded her hands together in a grateful gesture as she faced Arnav.
"T-Thank Y-y-you so much S-sir. I...I don't k-know what would h-have h-happened if you didn't..." Priya sobbed quietly, looking at him gratefully.
Arnav took his hand out of Khushi's grip and tentatively reached up to lower the girl's hands. He shook her head sideways, asking her not to do that.
"Please...don't...don't cry." Arnav pleaded with the girl.
She tried to control her sobs immediately. Khushi extended a handkerchief towards her and gave her a small smile. Priya took the hankie and mumbled a thank you. As she dabbed at her tears, Khushi reached for Arnav's hand again. Her heart sank a little when his hand didn't close around hers.
Priya looked at Khushi's left hand as it held onto Arnav's. She saw the wedding band and engagement ring and understanding dawned upon her. She looked up at Khushi to find her frowning slightly at the man who had saved her last night.
"He is a very good man." Priya sniffled and Khushi looked at her. "Who else puts their life in danger to help strangers these days? You're lucky to have a husband like him."
Khushi smiled at her and looked at Arnav. She fought the urge to frown. His jaw was clenched tightly. His eyes fixed on nothing in particular in his lap deliberately. His eyebrows knit together and his lips pressed into a thin line of disagreement.
Priya turned to the inspector. "Sir...he's not one of the abductors."
"Are you sure, Ms Priya?" Inspector Rao asked and Khushi shot him a glare. What the hell was the man's problem?
Priya nodded firmly. "I'm sure. I can't forget the face of the man who tried to help me. It's definitely him." Priya turned to look at Arnav respectfully.
Inspector Rao walked up to Arnav's bedside and held up his right hand by the elbow. Khushi's anger flared instantly.
"Do you know how he got these?" Inspector Rao questioned.
Priya squinted at the marks and then her eyes widened a little. "I...I'm so sorry! I think I did that...I think at one point...while you were fighting...one of them got a hold on me and my instinct was to just hold on to you...I must've have scratched you in the process...I'm so sorry."
Arnav looked at her and gave her a curt nod, indicating that he was thankful for her confirmation. With a grateful glance and another thank you' later, Priya had walked out with the policemen. Inspector Rao and Mr. Sharma remained behind.
"We'll just have her signatures on her statement in a few minutes and then I will let the doctor know that you're okay to be discharged. Thank you for being a good citizen Mr. Raizada and sorry for my rude behaviour. Just trying to do my job." The inspector's demeanour was completely different now. The hostility was gone. He was even smiling a little at Arnav. He turned to the lawyer. "Mr. Sharma, come with me. We will complete the paperwork."
Mr. Sharma nodded at Khushi and then followed the inspector out. Arnav leaned back on the pillows and closed his eyes. More as a means of avoiding looking at her rather than out of relief. But she knew him well. Too well.
"Arnav." She said authoratively. She waited a whole minute for his response but he didn't say anything nor did he open his eyes. "Arnav. Look at me."
He tried to clear his head which was filled with painful memories from the past. He felt as if he had just woken up from his usual nightmare. He opened his eyes with tremendous effort and looked at her, trying to put on a neutral expression and shutter his eyes.
She looked at him for a second and then smirked, taking a seat on the bed so that she was facing him.
"You know...You can put that damn mask on as many times as you want...but I can see through it. And you know that." Khushi smiled at him before kissing his cheek. He lowered his eyes and she went on. "I understand, Arnav. You don't have to hide it from me. I'd rather you don't try to hide it from me. You can take your time overcoming those memories, Arnav...I just...I need you to promise me something today...well...two things, really."
He looked up at her questioningly for a few seconds and then nodded.
"Promise me that you won't disagree with a decision I've made." Khushi said in a quiet voice.
"What decision?"
Khushi shook her head. "First, promise me."
Arnav looked sceptical for a few seconds but then gave in, seeing that she wasn't going to budge any time soon.
"Okay fine...I promise."
"I've decided that you'll stay at my house..." She saw Arnav open his mouth to argue so she spoke before he interrupted. "At least until the injuries heal. And you can't back out now. You promised."
"You cheated." He accused, a small smile tugging at his lips. Khushi chuckled. "What's the second promise?" he asked.
Khushi let go of his hand and cupped his face. She looked into his eyes and spoke clearly without the slightest trace of hesitancy.
"Promise me that once we get home, things will go back to how they were yesterday before this incident happened."
She had seen the pained look on his face when he saw Priya. She knew he had recalled the past. She, herself, had related Priya's state to her own. Except, she had been able to push away the memories, whereas he seemed to have embraced them again. She had seen him turn towards his shell but she had stopped him for now. This promise would make sure he didn't retrace all the steps they've taken so far in this relationship.
She could see he was mulling over her words. His expression was serious, his eyes distant as he thought about her words. A small frown appeared on his face at one point. A long minute passed before he took a deep breath in, let it out and then spoke.
"I'm sorry...I can't promise that."
Anupamaa
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