New Arhi FF please dont take my baby

fanfictionluver thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#1

Please dont take my baby

author's note

this is my first attempt at writing something i am not sure how long the story is most likley depends on the response i recieve from the readers please do tell me what you like/dislike critcizm is welcome

prologue

A Pregnant teenager is left alone on a deserted road lost standard lonely tears flawing out of her eyes she had nobody to turn towards with great difficulty she fought her way out of that hell thinking of the nightmare bought shudder's to her , closing her eyes she remembered the hell she was put into, unknownlgly

Flashback

Like any other teenager khushi was a happy bubbly girl she was in collage studying fashion designing since she was small she has always designed her own clothes so she finally got to peruse her dream her family was a middle class family her babuji owned a small sweet centre and there daily income wasn't a hefty amount but it fed, clothed and educated the kids that's all what her babuji wanted her ma and buaji were the backbones of the house her mum was a typical housewife warm food was kept on the table when they got home tired after a long day, her buaji used to do needle work on saris and design simple borders that's where khushi got passion for designing and used to help her buaji often to make and sell them, her brother and sister were the best her Jiji was a shy simple girl she wasn't out going, spoken at all and she was studying business management as she wanted to expand her babuji business, her bro recently graduated in law and was looking for a Job, things were looking good for her and her family till the person who entered into her and her family's life ruining all there hapiness

Edited by fanfictionluver - 11 years ago

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fanfictionluver thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#2
Chapter 1
Authours note
here is the first chapter please give me your honest feedback any thing you would liked/disliked anything suggestions criticisim is also welcome

Hearing the loud horn bought Khushi out of her flashback headlights of a car was flashing constantly, she could see a handsome face looking towards her the deep chocolate brown eyes staring at her instantly they were locked in an intense eye lock time seemed to stop for some unknown reason she didn't know why but she felt the warmth and affection that she hasn't seen for her in a long time, she could see stars roaming in front of her eyes she didn't know what to name this feeling and she felt weak in her knees and her head was spinning before she could feel the ground she felt two warm strong hands around her that was the last thing she remembered before waking up in the warm bed.

she sees the same pair of warm eyes approaching her and handing her some milk and tablets and speaking in that husky voice which sent shivers down her spine
Arnav: yeh tablets lo you will feel better and don't worry you are safe here

Khushi could feel saliva gather up in her throat and she gathered all her courage to speak to him, thank you but I think I recognize you , your ASR CEO of AR designs why do you want to help an helpless girl like me who's own family betrayed her and left her mercy in the hand of the cruel world tears started flowing from her eyes If you want to kill my baby then kill me first that child is an innocent soul in all this I don't have enough courage to fight anymore I would prefer to die along with my child.

Arnav: sssh don't you dare talk about dying again he didn't know why but felt his heart sink at the mention of her leaving the world he closed his eyes he knew it will be painful for her to hear this but he had to utter these words I am related to that woman who ruined your family's happiness who put you in the state you are today I know saying this won't really make you believe me but trust me and my family members didn't know what her intentions towards your family was we thought she was getting the happiness she was deprived of for so long after that I went away for my business venture none of my family told me what she had done till yesterday when I found out the truth I was furious she ruined an innocent girls life for her selfish deeds,
his hands tighten in a fist as he was getting furious thinking what the woman did who was close to him he felt angry as he carried on she didn't think once that what happened to us long back she's redoing it in a much more brutal way, from then I thought I will support you, found your information but none of my family was with this decision of mine but it doesn't bother me I am ASR and I can do anything I am going to protect you from them I will keep you safe I know this won't heal your wounds get your family back but at least you're not homeless and all alone, he was expecting a furious khushi after this revelation but all he can see was tears flowing out of those big doe eyes he felt a ping of pain in his heart he couldn't see her like this till she spoke

Khushi: I trust you after she uttered those words she could see a relief on his face she didn't need to say anything else she didn't know why but she felt safe with him and he was a pure innocent soul in all this mess as her baby little did he know the woman would come in there house and ruin all the happiness if he was kept in the dark by his family then what's his fault if he didn't enquire future he didn't really need to as the information he got from the woman and his family that's she's happy that's all mattered to him he didn't know her she didn't know him, she took a long gasp and said to him I want to be independent I want to continue my study's I want to peruse my dreams after few months when things are settled down I can't let someone ruin my life like this

Arnav: of course that's not a thing to ask and no further argument I will fund your education and you can work at AR designs for gaining experience now rest we will meet in the evening for dinner if you need anything just press the bell and house maid will be there with that he walked of closing the door behind him.

Khushi was left in her world of thoughts how nice was this man towards her he didn't know her but hearing the story from his family he could judge she was an innocent soul in all this but her family she had no words towards them how they came in the words of that woman her buaji the person she was closest to the most tried to help her but wasn't successful in her attempts she remembered her last words ringing in her ears

"run away sanka devi all your family members and that beast brother of yours don't talk about him all came under the spell of that woman they can see the injustice that has been done to you already I couldn't save you before anything happens go away from here you will surely find some nice soul in this world that will help you for sure If I live through this mess I will meet you take care my sanka devi or forgive your bua for her helpless "

Her buaji was right she did find someone who took her in willing to help her she remembered when the torture started

Flashback

Her bhaiya came home and he announced he's in love with the mallik's daughter Anjali her bauji was shocked he started narrating he remembered when the malliks ruled over lucknow years ago there family fell apart he rem the grandson going away with devyani his nani but mallika malik was admant on keeping her granddaughter Anjali with her not wanting to create any more fuss devyani left with her grandson from there then later on she fought for custody of her granddaughter but lost.

he remembers how the brothers used to visit there sister in the holidays but another mishap happened injuring Anjali and mallika blamed the boys devyani came down and she was furious and swore that her grandsons would never come back to this place since then he hasn't seen them.

if Anjali got any traits from her grandma then she's not suitable for his son shayam as she will be selfish cunning not bothering about others feelings, whole day there was an argument in the house bhaiya saying how Anjali was a different girl bauji not trusting his words and he didn't want to meet her grandma either some secret he wouldn't spill out.

things carried on like that nothing fell in place till bhaiya bought Anjali home to meet everybody, her parents were satisfied and agreed for the marriage she rem her buaji saying she's just sugar coated words and sweet from top how her hearts ugly from underneath her bhaiya fought with her buaji for the first time and she remembered buaji words she hasn't entered the house and fights are already occurring her parents thought she was being superstitious and hence ignoring her words they went ahead with shayam's choice.

thank you guys for all the suggestions and reading my story it means a lot to me please keep on reading and supporting me as chapters go on things will be revealed, i am not saying anything at the moment if the baby is arnav's or not is he hiding something from her, keep guessing 😆 but there is a twist surley one thing i can assure you all is arnav will look after khushi and her baby of course there will be romance 😉and as story progresses other characters will come into play in flashback forms for starters and another thing arnav not protective or close to di here and how anjali is connected to this mess shes surley going to be punished by arnav 😆
😉

Edited by fanfictionluver - 11 years ago
IDatIF thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#3
Intersting start but who is the father of the baby
You need to leave some space between paragraphs and each scene
It was bit confusing to read because every thing looks really muddled up

Other wise good start of an ff
Do continue
IDatIF thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#4
As it is arhi story therefore I think readers will prefer arnav to be the father of the baby
fanfictionluver thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#5

Originally posted by: IDatIF

Intersting start but who is the father of the baby
You need to leave some space between paragraphs and each scene
It was bit confusing to read because every thing looks really muddled up

Other wise good start of an ff
Do continue

as the story goes on it will be revealed there is a twist I have it planned out will reveal things slowly as the chapters progress on and thank you for the suggestion i will surley implement on that in the next chapter and please do support me and keep your suggestions coming
fanfictionluver thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: IDatIF

As it is arhi story therefore I think readers will prefer arnav to be the father of the baby

thank you for the suggestion I am an arhi fan myself but keep reading and supporting i will keep all readers suggestions in my mind and implement on them
---Sonia--- thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#7
love the start, but as IDatIF said you need to some space between paragraphs and each scene. It will be easy to read also:)
I really want to know who is the father, if it is not Arnav who is the father and if that was not your idea, as long Arnav takes care of the baby, the readers will be happy,lol or so I hope:)

But most important if Arnav takes care of Khushi, they will be even more happy:)

zainy26 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#8
yarr dr nyc start bt whose da father

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