ArHi SS: Heartbeat Radio - Completed - Page 10

Posted: 10 years ago
Just discovered your writing on this thread. Interesting and fascinating. Thank you!
Posted: 10 years ago
Originally posted by -Mitra


This is such a surreal narration. Writing in present tense adds a palpable urgency to the scene in the readers mind.

I will gladly recommend your writing any day for a study in tropes and metonymy. The technique is brilliant and so delightfully fresh. 

As for the narrative, I like that your story becomes the lost voice to the characters in the soap. When I read the later chapters, what can come across as maudlin in another story, leaves me with lasting profoundness of their love. 

The parts where they do the understood talking, but they aren't really speaking with each other makes them lovers from another world.

With little words to speak of your writing, I leave you here with a cliche (that must make you take the bat and hit me on the head.)

Great writing!

-H


Lost voice indeed. After a while the characters go out of hand and lead a life of their own. The exploration of characters becomes fascinating while set in same universe because they are all we know of and I am just leeching off them. But then again the on screen persona comes short of by not exploring  what remains unsaid between them.

Thanks H :-)
Posted: 10 years ago
Looking forward to reading ...this FF!
Posted: 10 years ago
Originally posted by anonyasr


Just discovered your writing on this thread. Interesting and fascinating. Thank you!


Thank you :-)
Posted: 10 years ago
Originally posted by amaypranay


Looking forward to reading ...this FF!


Looking forward to see you here...
Posted: 10 years ago
8. Shadows

I feel I have loved you since forever - like we are made from the residue of the same burnt out star.

*****

They think no one notices the way their hand linger over the edges of their shadows. They think people around them are too self centered and display a grandoise which doesn't include a keen eye.

But she does. For all the airy persona she has worn over her skin, she is pretty observant when she wants to be. When it comes to Arnav, she is more observant than she likes to be. She sees how the jarred edges around him softens whenever Khushi pokes and prods in all wrong places. He fumes, breathes fire and throws a tantrum of volcanic proportions. He singles Khushi out, pushes to a corner and crowds her with his wide frame.

Even when he is being a jackass to her, he keeps her safe in the cage of  his arms. She doesn't know if Khushi knows it, understands the subtle subtext his body language speaks. She clambers on deluded thoughts of Khushi being ignorant of Arnav's dilemma. She ploughs through Khushi's insecurities by regalling the escapedes she shared with Arnav in the past.

She revels in the way Khushi's face fall, the way her lower lip curl in indignity of wanting what Lavanya had with Arnav once upon a time. The indignation dies with the last puff of air from her lips and a soft smile replaces the disappointed curl of her lips. The smile is secretive and it reeks of hope.

Lavanya had never been more envious of anyone in her life. At the same time she wonders if anything in life can be permanent.

Was everyone just messing around with one another till the real deal came in front of them? And how did they know whats real and what isn't anyway? Can one person's real be other's...not-real? How did universe work then?

She was in between places. She was in the void between nowhere and somewhere. Her world was filled with shadows with serrated edges.

She watches Khushi explain how to perfectly wrap a sari, and hopes against her instinct for her to be Arnav's real-deal.

Because she knows it in her heart that Arnav is her real deal.

'Cause they are both made from the same dying star...
Posted: 10 years ago
You had me!  I thought it was Anjali's point of view!! πŸ˜›
Loving your one shots...where have you been all our IPK life?!!! 
Posted: 10 years ago
Originally posted by greenteaholic



Sometimes it's nobody's fault that they become what they have to be. They circumvent steep curves, sharp turns and narrow slopes to be where they are.

I think otherwise "what we are is result of the decisions we take in our life..." Rightly said we have to pay for all our past deeds (including last birth) over here only, but then we can not always blame our destiny, it can be changed with our karma..

"I read somewhere that - after all the collisions and explosions in the universe, our earth came to be and with it, us. So technically we are all part of the stars or star dust, if you will."

"Star dust or nuclear waste?" He smirks in response.

This is not a story. Assume a passing shooting star recorded the happening of a galaxy and sat down one day to tell you the tale. That's what this is. Glimpses of a life passed.

i am so glad finally i am here and the first post itlsef says i will definately few things over here..
thank you for writing and sharing your story over here..
Posted: 10 years ago
Originally posted by greenteaholic


Life, meet metaphor. Metaphor, meet Arnav and Khushi.

-oh you started with a very impressive n simple line..loved it..πŸ‘πŸΌ


*****


There are days when all he wants to do is sleep-in, imagining he was ten again surrounded by warmth of family. He makes himself sit up in one slow and torturous motion, ignoring the nagging pain at the base of his skull. He ignores the pain like the constant ache in legs to move, to run away and alleviate the irritation induced by borderline allergy to humans and mornings. Aman, his personal aide, waits for him in the foyer talking easily with his sister. Her smile grows brighter when he walks into her vision. He smiles in response, almost routine like.

aman and anjali are married?? i so wanted this to happen in show..

He slides aviators in one smooth move and sighs when coolness settles around his eyes.

The world seems less harsher, less optimistic and more...realistic to deal with.

is 


*****

She talks.


He watches her, mesmerized at her ability to drift from topic to topic with ease of a shooting star trotting across the galaxy. She never stops to explore one topic in detail and that fascinates him. He watches her from afar and is entranced the way her hands flail and her body moves when she talks.

She is a walking phenomenon. Or a shooting star. He has been stuck in a cold space between stars for so long that the her brightness and warmth both blinds and scorches him.

He is okay with both.

description of khushi right?? beautifully written..

*****

They collide.

Aman gives him a look of disappointment which clearly says 'stop being a misogynistic asshole' and the people in his office give him a sour look. He is far too gone in this whirlwind of dislocated logic for him to hold on to thread of rationality of the argument. The insults spew from his mouth without regards for the human - woman in front of him.

Hours later he finds her in the almost empty parking lot where he had earlier directed her to. It's hard to differentiate her tears and pouring rain. Tears have seeped into her shadows.

Her eyes shine beneath her lush eyelashes as we both get drenched in the downpour. When she looks up, its rhetorical to pull her towards me.


*****


Her dress sticks to her skin and her skin is freezing. He stands in front of her, imposing in his very presence but she is too tired to be even care. She jumps when a car horn disturbs the steady rhythm of rain and bad decisions.

His hands are rough on her skin, callous on his palm leaving an imprint on her skin and vibrating with the space that has nested between them. The space is growing, expanding and has started to take a life of its own without either of them realizing.

She is trapped under his imposing form, warm and shielding. She leans forward and settles her forehead on his shoulder. A shudder runs through her body when his warmth seeps into her skin and starts marking its territory.

"Let's get some coffee," he says pulling back.

"I don't like the black goo you consume in copious quantities," she mutters in a tone that suggests the space between them has morphed irrevocably to something else.

He smiles unnecessarily throughout their walk to the coffee shop, their clothes sticking to their skin and shoulders barely touching.

She starts filling the echoing silence between them with words, he moves closer to her and their arms are touching.

His smile widens when she leans in to his touch and continue to browse through myriad of topics.


*****

He isn't the one to keep scores but its an inevitable byproduct of his temperament. He sees the bubbling girl in his arms and berates himself for enjoying her closeness when the situation evokes misery. Her father lies twenty feet away amidst beeping machines, doctors and nurses.


"I am sorry for...losing it." She blubbers on his green sweater.

"It's your father. You are allowed to." He pats her back. Her palms clutch the front of his sweater tighter.


Pulling back, she takes his hand in hers and explains about her adoptive parents.


He thinks as a courtesy he should reciprocate that by telling her about lack of parental presence in his life. She squeezes his palm gently and shakes her head.

"It's okay." All she says.

He believes her.

oh my god, i don't have words to say over this...that was the first hug of arshi which we craved since ages..

*****


He watches her family from afar, sitting in his mammoth SUV. She bounces from one spot to the next, chattering about an obscure event, hand actions and everything. They haven't lived in the house for long but their shadows seem to have etched a place for themselves in nook and crevices of the house. She knows he is waiting for her, for the goodnight kiss she promised him.


He complains every time she makes him wait and takes great pleasure in the way she tries to pacify him. He doesn't tell her how much he loves watching her family interact. He laughs when she crams entire bar of chocolate in her mouth when he threatens to take it away from her. Laughter comes easily around her and amusement is his constant companion.


She plants a kiss on his cheek which is more like a smear of chocolate and runs home, her anklets ricocheting in imbalance.


He captures the picture the family paints and layers them on top of the dozens more he has captured in past. He runs his index finger on his cheek, cold of chocolate transferring to his finger now. He licks it off clean and smiles when he repeats the process.


Its the physical manifestation of a smile.


Diabetes be damned.



oh hell how i missed this- why i missed this..
this chapter reminded me of IPK every single word took me to old memories.. you have cleverly used few parts of IPK and wrote this brilliant piece... i am super happy after reading this chapter.. loved it very much...😊
Posted: 10 years ago
Originally posted by neverbefore


You had me!  I thought it was Anjali's point of view!! πŸ˜›
Loving your one shots...where have you been all our IPK life?!!! 


Ah Anjali. Yeah, that will come some time later for now its this messy story of three people :-)

Thanks!

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