Let Her Go - An Arhi OS

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go

I walked along the sides of the lake.

My bare feet padding along delicately as the moist, green leaves grazed my feet.

It was almost ironic.

2 years ago, I vowed I'd never make it back here.

Now, it's the only place I feel peace.

I run my hands through the soft locks of my hair, the waves tickling my fingers, almost as if reminding me of the present.

As I continue walking, I look beside me, the calm grey waters running along the seams. It was almost a continuous flow. The symbolism of it hit me hard, it resembled life.

The continuous flow of obstacles steering you down, the weight of the world, the pressure relationships exert on your shoulders.

I stare at it addictively. The light waves immersing itself in the boulders it came across. Much like life.

I tuck my hands into the pockets on my trousers, the warmth rubbing off on me.

Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast
You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day you'll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies

It all happened 2 years ago. The feeling still raw and bruised in my mind, the wound never truly healing, it was a constant reminder of how much I lost.

I still remember that smile, how it stretched across that face when something was amusing.

That beautiful, soft brown hair tangled in wavy locks.

Those eyes, those molten brown orbs glaring at me with so much anger when I made a mistake.

The obsessive nature rubbed off on me, I guess.

Sometimes, there comes a point in life when you're faced with crossroads.

You don't know which road to take.

Which path will lead you to happiness?

This entire situation was an extended metaphor.

The irony failing to leave my mind.

That relationship was toxic.

It made something as essential as breathing difficult. I couldn't live without it, it was one big mistake but I do not regret one bit.

It made me see life as it is. Made me realize the consequences of bad decisions.

But you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

It was corrosive.

Shattered everything in its path.

I was only 19, the concept of love dumfounded me, made me fall for someone who was 15 years older and completely ruined my life.

I hadn't realized the impact of my decision. It destroyed my entire family, poured acid onto my education and left me with no turning point.

I hadn't realized when it turned obsessive, almost an addiction, and so much that it physically and mentally ruined me.

That decision destroyed my life.

I still do not regret it.

Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast
Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
'Cause you loved her too much and you dive too deep

Then the death of that person happened.

Taking everything away, leaving me with nothing but hurt, agony and depression.

I tried taking my life, cutting, grazing, and drugs. Nothing worked.

I realized then that the pain of the mental wounds was too much for me to feel the pain of blood.

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go
Oh oh oh no
And you let her go
Oh oh oh no
Well you let her go

These two years have been more difficult and destructive than anything I've ever experienced.

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

I no longer feel the addiction. I no longer feel the dire need to love.

I no longer feel constricted.

I no longer feel attached to anything or anyone.

I simple do not feel anymore.

I just learnt to let her go.

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go

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