ArShi OS: Final Shots

Arnav would never believe that there are so many colors in this world. Veneration flowers and rangs, flowing sarees, tingling anklets and sparkling jewelry... Life around Arnav was filled with brightness and celebration...

Today was Teej. He smiled to himself remembering his first Teej and how his life has changed so very dramatically since then... Not that there were things in these last few years he wouldn't gladly forget... but he actually wouldn't wish to forget them. Those things carved a better man out of him. Not the misunderstandings and hate and pain and agony... but the fact that his wife stood by him... through all of it. That she'd found it within herself to give him one more chance... to make it better, to right all the wrongs he did to her... to trust him with her happiness. And remembering all those things assured that he would never be that man again!

But Teej... It was a special holiday of all the holidays they celebrated as family. Because this was a day when Universe has chosen for Khushi to be his wife. The day Arnav marked her with sindur and broke Khushi's fast. Unknowingly, unintentionally... but still... they belonged together since that day. Maybe, even earlier...

Arnav looked around trying to locate his wife in a crowd. He would never leave her alone here but circumstances were against his wishes today. Arnav had to bring Anjali to the temple because she was fasting and he was worried for her health. And Khushi was running late due to Payal's doctor's appointment... which should have been taken care by happy father-to-be Akash... only he was out of town for some "AR Design" business.

Sure thing, Arnav would NEVER send away his brother from his pregnant wife! Especially on Teej! But business trip got prolongated for no fault of his own... Akash was supposed to be in Delhi by the evening to attend pooja... but somebody should have taken care of the doctor's visit. And that somebody was none other than Khushi!

He loved her and that part of Khushi that took everybody's problems to her heart was one of his favorites. Because Arnav knew that this was the part that forgave him over and over again...

Yet still - sometimes he wished Khushi would've been more egoistic, more self-indulgent... so he could spoil her by unfolding a world of leisure possibilities before her. Those possibilities Khushi would never take advantage of now because she either "didn't have time for this" or "couldn't spend that much money"...

Yeah, the time issue... Taking care of Shantivan and her very successful and fast-growing dabba business took a lot of Khushi's time... Yet still she'd made a conscious effort to run her errands during office hours and be as wife-y as possible when he came back home in the evening.

Money issue was way funnier! Seriously, Arnav could never fully explain to his wife how MUCH money they've actually had! Moreover - Khushi asked him to deal with financial issues of her "KSR Happy Lunch Service" and it never seized to amaze him that Khushi didn't know that she made TONS of money all by herself! Arnav tried to tell her this but all she ever replied was "Add them to upkeep budget". How do you add a sum that big to one house budget? She could've sustain the whole block of households of Shantivan's size! So instead Arnav lunched a charity program for struggling private business newcomers - to help them out financially and encourage more people to make their own living.

One day Khushi would ask him about the money... and she would approve of his choice.

Arnav needed her approval, he craved for it. A long time ago... so long it seemed like it was in previous life... Arnav thought that waiting for approval from anybody (much less a women) was a sign of weakness, self-insufficiency. But now he knew... he marveled on his newfound knowledge of how powerful and inspiring and supportive can few simple words of praise be. Because when Khushi was praising the simplest of his deeds Arnav felt like he could win over the whole world if he'd intended to do so. Khushi was never falling short of words... and she always took the opportunity to underline his achievements... And she was always there for him through all of his falls - to stand him up, brush him off, and encourage Arnav to be a better man she knew he truly is.

Arnav was powerful and strong and brave. But being loved and cared for and adored by such a special women as Khushi has made him... invincible! All the struggles and problems in life had nothing on him as long as she was with him!

*** *** ***

Only that she wasn't with him... now. She was getting closer, Arnav could feel that warm sensation in the air that announced Khushi's arrival... but he wanted to see her so badly that he could have imagined this aerial feeling of her closeness.

Arnav's eyes were skimming through masses of people... when he's heard her. Not her voice but more like her... soul. Like some force wrapped its fingers around his heart and yanked him backwards, making him to turn around... and see her.

Khushi was standing by the bench holding one hand to bench's backrest. She looked pale and disoriented a bit... and Arnav knew what that meant - especially with a specific Teej memory that was on constant replay before his eyes... deja-vu... Arnav started running even before Khushi's veneration plate has tilted and felt down to the ground splattering rangs all over the stone floor.

He caught Khushi right in time to stop her from hitting the floor herself and helped her to the bench:

- Khushi... Khushi, are you all right?

She was shaking her head a little to clear her mind but it looked like she was saying "no". Either way Arnav wasn't really trying to get answers - he was merely trying to talk Khushi out of fainting (he knew that her need to dispel his worries was strong enough to keep her conscious).

While continuously talking to her Arnav took a little metal flask out of his briefcase and poured Khushi some water to a flask cap. He prompted Khushi's head so she could drink and brought a cap to her pale lips...

*** *** ***

When her vision cleared the first thing she saw was Arnav's concerned gaze. He was kneeling before her, pouring her more water to a cap he was holding. Khushi tried to erase concern in his eyes with poor joke attempt:

- Would you do that every time? I mean sabotaging my fast and giving me water before pooja?

His answering smile was relieved so Khushi knew that he was more at ease now. Arnav answered only half-jokingly - other half was still worried and watching her face intently for any sign of coming fainting:

- I solemnly vow to brake your fast or whatever else I need to brake to take care of you. Only I wish you'd help me on that quest and not make it more difficult. Please, Khushi?

Arnav was actually asking her to take care of her. Khushi giggled because it felt funny (or maybe it was hysterical and a product of her exhaustion):

- I'm trusting you with all of my lives - surely I'd trust you to take care of me!

Arnav nodded:

- Good! Now promise me you would stop with this fasting thing because it just doesn't seem to work well with your organism...

Khushi replied with eager nodding:

- Agreed! Actually I wish I wouldn't fast this time either...

That quizzical expression crossed Arnav's face. Surprised, surely, but more than that. Concerned because he felt like maybe Khushi was hiding more serious health problems and he just couldn't fantom any pain coming to her life...

And hurt. Arnav was hurt by implication of what it would mean if Khushi didn't want to hold fast for him. And accepting in the same time. After so much time he was still willing to accept anything as a punishment for his actions in the beginning of their relationship. Even though Khushi would never even think of punishing him. Never.

And he knew that. So Khushi could visibly see how a shadow of remorse and repentance came and went aside leaving his concern for her health as a major emotion. That is why she was surprised when Arnav asked:

- Why so? Have your husband been bad lately? Should I teach him some manners?

So it was still there. Some part of Arnav still felt he was unworthy of her and that he deserved more retribution than life has already dealt him.

Khushi cupped Arnav's face with her hand. And smiled because she knew exactly how this little touch will play out... Arnav would move his head a little so his stubble would tickle her palm. Khushi would touch her fingertips to his temple and this would relax his scowling brow. Arnav's eyes would close a bit and he'd inhale deeply so her scent would once again be carved to his memory... They've done it a million times already... yet still there was something enchanting in this almost ritualistic set of movements. Something intimate. Something only for them.

Arnav has opened his questioning eyes and only then Khushi remembered he had raised a question. She shook her head and smiled... softly, gently... sincerely:

- No, Arnav, don't. My husband loves me... maybe even more than I love him... surely more than any living person - me included - deserve. And that makes him a perfect husband. Added to a fact that I take him to be a perfect human being in general... You just can't "teach him manners"...

Khushi took a deep breath and continued:

- In fact, my husband is so good that I plan to give him a very big present!

Joy has lightened Arnav's face. Only recently he had learned how to accept people trying to please him for no reason other than their love for him... so now he was having all kinds of child-like reactions to gifts and surprises and today was no exception:

- Present! Where is it?! I want it now! Give it to me now, please!

He would've probably jumped in one place but he was still kneeling before Khushi so all his excitement was channeled into expressive waving gestures and gripping Khushi's hands.

She caught his hand and said in a hushed voice deep with emotions:

- I can't. Not now. In eight months and a week if doctor is not mistaken...

It took some moments for him to switch from "gimme-my-present" Chote back to Arnav. Her Arnav.

Then it took few very long seconds for the news to sink in. One of those moments when life around you stops because there's nothing more beautiful than a picture in front of your eyes.

The way he swallowed hard. And how his trembling fingers entwined with hers. And his eyes shot wide open... And in those eyes...

Tenderness and worshiping and promises and thank-you-s and hopes and dreams-came-true and protectiveness and even more hopes. Warm ocean of exuberant incandescent happiness. All for her and their unborn child...

And there was more. Underneath that all was forgiveness. Khushi knew that Arnav will finally start to forgive himself for whatever happened. Because now they'd share more than their love and family. Now they'd share a human life, something sacred and pure and absolute... something Arnav would never allow to be tainted by his guilty conscience. So he would take her forgiveness... finally.

- Khushi... really? When? Why haven't you told me? Why have you hold that fast? Could it hurt our baby?

Our baby. Arnav knew of its existence all of ten seconds and yet he has already accepted it to their lives so fully.

- Arnav, there was more than one reason for me to go with Payal today... I just didn't want to raise any vain hopes if it was nothing. And about the fast...

Khushi smiled at Arnav and squeezed his fingers reassuringly:

- ... This was a first question I've asked a doctor once he confirmed my pregnancy. He said that as long as I have had enough fluids today my fasting shouldn't be a problem. I'm healthy and baby is still very small so my body should provide all the necessary nutrition from its inner resources...

Khushi went along with more "Pregnancy 101" details and only some time later she realized that Arnav wasn't paying attention to her. Well, to be honest, he was paying attention to her, but not to what she was saying as to her as a whole person. Arnav was eyeing Khushi with this dumb-struck awe as if she was world's eight miracle and that has made Khushi a bit too self-conscious...

- Arnav, stop doing that. It's not that I've grown a pair of wings and learned how to fly. I'm having a baby, like millions of women around the world...

She was going to add some more dismissive remarks but got interrupted...

Arnav stood up abruptly and lifted Khushi in his embrace. She was half-expecting him to kiss her coming from the fierce passionate shining in his eyes (she knew that look! that look got her pregnant!) but in the same time she knew he wouldn't do that. Arnav respected Khushi too much to embarrass her with something so earthly in God's grounds.

Instead Arnav has pressed his forehead to hers and contradicted all of her rumblings:

- This is not A baby. It's OUR baby! And when I thought there can be nothing more precious to my heart than a space you occupy... you gave me my present... and now the same space became twice more priceless... and I didn't know its even possible!

He's lowered her down to her feet very slowly and carefully as if she was a porcelain doll that should be treated with utmost cautious.

Khushi raised her head to meet his eyes and said:

- Your present hasn't arrived yet. Wait eight more month...

Arnav took her face in his arms and said with a thick voice... and every word left a prominent mark on Khushi's skin... like invisible mehndi.

- Khushi... YOU are my present. You are everything I've wished for even before I dared to wish at all. You're my Mannat Ki Chaabi for you are a key to my happiness... I can't even begin to explain how vital you are to me - your smile, you small joyful chattering, your dupattas that have a life of their own, your wind-chimes and your stars... I keep saying "yours" but the truth is those are mine as well and I wouldn't live a day without all of it in my life. You are my life. My courage, my wisdom, my ambition to achieve more and my willingness to relax and enjoy what I have. Because as long as I have you...

Arnav closed his eyes to collect his thoughts and than beamed them wide open again:

- Both of you. Khushi, you've just expanded my whole Universe to a size beyond my imagination and I... Forgive me, Khushi, what I say may sound like a blasphemy to you... But there may be all kinds of gods running our lives... and I would only believe in one... the one that lives inside of you. Our little miracle divine. And you both have a temple in your honor here...

Arnav pressed Khushi's palm to his heart and she felt it... His exhilarating heartbeat. That echoed hers... And together they grew stronger...

Dhak... dhak-dhak... dhak-dhak... dhak...

*** *** ***

Arnav would never believe that there are so many colors in this world... Until Khushi has entered his life to color it with every emotion she had, everything she was. And she was... everything!