Would Anandi happier With A Divorcee than Shiv

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debbie

@Debbiee

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

Would Anandi happier With A Divorcee than Shiv

So far all the taunts and ill-treatments that Anandi faced in her second marriage by Shiv's family had one major reason. i.e. Anandi past.

Sanchi taunts her in the name of her first husband; her daba daba pyar for him.

Ira taunts her for her Jhukav for her MAYKA and not loving in-laws enough.

All the society taunted her during wedding for her status.

So should we say it's been better she should have married a widowed or divorcee so that there should have been some equality in their status?

Would that have lessened her pain if any?

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divine_ram

@divine_ram

Sparkler

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: Debbiee
Would Anandi happier With A Divorcee than Shiv

So far all the taunts and ill-treatments that Anandi faced in her second marriage by Shiv's family had one major reason. i.e. Anandi past.

Sanchi taunts her in the name of her first husband; her daba daba pyar for him.

Ira taunts her for her Jhukav for her MAYKA and not loving in-laws enough.

All the society taunted her during wedding for her status.

So should we say it's been better she should have married a widowed or divorcee so that there should have been some equality in their status?

Would that have lessened her pain if any?

A divorcee marrying another divorcee is a better way. That's my POV. Because however sensible a guy is the family will treat her as a divorcee when she goes against their family interest or them. They will dig her past and blame her about her mistakes. It takes lot of patience to convince the family that she s right. BV showed a good example of Ira and her nastiness. She felt proud that her son marred a divorcee but never regarded as a woman first. CM reservations about anandi not loving shiv at tat time was right. She saw the uneasiness anandi was with the rista before marriage. Till anandi herself threw jagya completely out of her life CM never liked the rista.

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brick_red

@brick_red

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Posted: 12 years ago

In this case, even if Shiv was a divorcee, Ira and Sanchi would have ill-treated Anandi. When Jagya broke engagement with Sanchi, at one point Ira told Anandi that Anandi can not understand Sanchi's pain. Ira knew very well that Jagya went after Gauri while being married to Anandi. Still, Ira refused to acknowledge Anandi had gone through worst! Same way, Ira would have claimed my innocent divorcee son got a not-an-innocent divorcee bride !!

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642126

Hibernated

Posted: 12 years ago

Debbie

There can't be generalisations.

It's a partriarchal society. The woman has to be blamed in some way or the other.

Now Jagya and Ganga both are divorcees. Yet Sumitra blames Ganga for bringing trouble or bad luck in his life or making him suffer more after what he has already suffered.

Shekhars have ego of their son being single and eligible guy who got home a divorced child bride from a village. So they readily blame Anandi for her past. But if their son was a divorcee still somehow blame would befall Anandi.

I think lot of inequalities are there in AnSh. Background, education, exposure, upbringing and Anandi is not just a divorcee but a divorced child bride.

Shiv probably loves her for her qualities, how she rose from ashes to rebuild her life, how she manages family and village, what social concern she has etc.

But I think rest of his family accepted Anandi only out of sympathy and more because she is Shiv's choice. They might have respected her achievements and qualities - like housework and serving people and being caring. But I still don't think they relate to her or accept her fully.

Equality or similarity are better. Ideally people say all sorts of things should be encouraged like inter-caste marriage, interracial or inter-religious marriages whatever. But they require lot of effort to make them work.

Still no idea...I mean...even divorcees could be blaming each other for blundering in past and blundering now or creating more trouble and doing nothing to make things better in lives... 😕

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BeingMahiway

@maahi11

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

No debbie... no never...

a past is a past... n no can change it remanis part of ur lfe...

thnk it in a round way if anandi was not a divorcee may still saachi would have taunted but for diff reason...

Ira still would have told d luv for maika... coz anandi truly lus her maika n y anandi every gurl luvs her parents...

Marriage doent mn dat coz i m getting taunted n harassements it would be better i would have married a person like me... haveng similar past... marriage is mix of all thngs luv responsiblity understanding agreements dis agreements n many thngs...

u urself said saachi like ppl r many in dis wrld n ira as a mother who cares for her children mre also present in dis wrld...

debbie children do lot of mistakes in dis wrld but parents r one who will alwz stay wid dem... luv dem in hindi it is said putur kuputar ho sakta hai par mata kumata nahi ho sakti...

MArriage is a responsibilty a companionship of trust n understanding,,, its not based on past its based on situations... based on mistakes n den rectification of dat mistakes... its based on yes we r togethr irresctive sumtmes our thoughts do no match but we will face situations...

evn if anandi would have married a divorcee her problems would be diff n way of handling entierly diff

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merrydock

@merrydock

Voyager

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: Debbiee
Would Anandi happier With A Divorcee than Shiv

So far all the taunts and ill-treatments that Anandi faced in her second marriage by Shiv's family had one major reason. i.e. Anandi past.

Sanchi taunts her in the name of her first husband; her daba daba pyar for him.

Ira taunts her for her Jhukav for her MAYKA and not loving in-laws enough.

All the society taunted her during wedding for her status.

So should we say it's been better she should have married a widowed or divorcee so that there should have been some equality in their status?

Would that have lessened her pain if any?

what rubbish, Shiv and Anandi are perfect for each other. they are true soulmates, shiv didnt say that what Anandi is thinking is wrong and wisely told her to view every aspect of the truth.

Shiv equally believed that jagdish was in th wrong. but the took anandi advise to check if what he believes is the real truth. both followed their hearts and considered the request on the other.

in court Anandi did not bring any proof with her to prove she is right. but being her husband shiv brought the proof that would prove to his family that Anandi is right.

Anandi has not shamed her family in anyway. the Shekher family will have to face humiliation only and only because of sanchi. Sanchi is the one who has brought shame to her family. the Shekher,s will never be able to raise their heads with pride all because of sanchi.

and instead of accepting her mistake she started mud slinging Anandi's character if front of everyone. Ira will be the most humiliated because she took her daughter side. now she will have to apologize to anandi and Ganga. for her behaviour towards them.

Sanchi stubbornness and stupidity has today brought shame to her family. they will never trust her again.

but one thing is good that today sumitra will see how very wrong sanchi was for her son, and Ganga is the perfect wife for him. Ganga could have shown the recording in open court. but she too didnt not want Anandi's family to face public humiliation. and chose to reveal her recording only to the two families.

stable minded people do what Anandi and Ganga did. and kurdos to Shiv, he is not an emotional fool but a level minded, just man. who followers what he preaches. these are the people that lead by example.

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debbie

@Debbiee

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: Sheetsden
A divorcee marrying another divorcee is a better way. That's my POV. Because however sensible a guy is the family will treat her as a divorcee when she goes against their family interest or them. They will dig her past and blame her about her mistakes. It takes lot of patience to convince the family that she s right. BV showed a good example of Ira and her nastiness. She felt proud that her son marred a divorcee but never regarded as a woman first. CM reservations about anandi not loving shiv at tat time was right. She saw the uneasiness anandi was with the rista before marriage. Till anandi herself threw jagya completely out of her life CM never liked the rista.

Sheetsden I agree with you completely. An divorcee(ladies) means someone with a past. People in Indian society treat her as if she a criminal especially the women. I would wait for the day when this attitude would change 😊

I loved CM for her attitude. It coz of her Shiv is what he is today.

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debbie

@Debbiee

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: brick_red
In this case, even if Shiv was a divorcee, Ira and Sanchi would have ill-treated Anandi. When Jagya broke engagement with Sanchi, at one point Ira told Anandi that Anandi can not understand Sanchi's pain. Ira knew very well that Jagya went after Gauri while being married to Anandi. Still, Ira refused to acknowledge Anandi had gone through worst! Same way, Ira would have claimed my innocent divorcee son got a not-an-innocent divorcee bride !!

Very well said brick. The line in bold red cracked me 😆

Yes it varies from situation to situation and person to person.

Looking at the Shekhars' past when they accepted Anandi without much hue and cry initially it seems strange; well rather surprising how they changed their colors later.

However please remember the society would still behave similar to Anandi and Ganga even in future. There would be always an Urmi Devi, a Heth Singh, gaonwale blah blah blah.

They would still be taunted in future for their past.

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debbie

@Debbiee

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: Skepblun

Still no idea...I mean...even divorcees could be blaming each other for blundering in past and blundering now or creating more trouble and doing nothing to make things better in lives... 😕

Pretty good analysis Skepblun

I agree there is no clear answer to this question.

Usually in society it's widely believed that a female for second marriage should choose a guy who into second marriage as well. They could relate to each other well and the families could accept this with ease. I mean if I would have been in Anandi's place; I would have really refrained myself from marrying this most eligible bachelor of India. Doing so she has invited many probing eyes on her who would keep on comparing.

I have heard these type of stories from many. Many ladies who are 1st timers and married a widower guy told me that "My husband still loves his late wife and married me only for his needs. Sometimes I feel like being crazy". Many women who married a divorced guys told me similar stories. In BV it's interesting to see the role reversal 😉. i.e. For woman it's 2nd and for man it's first 😳

Ansh apart from their previous marital status have many differences as you specified, that also is adding to the controversy.

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debbie

@Debbiee

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: maahi11
No debbie... no never...

a past is a past... n no can change it remanis part of ur lfe...

thnk it in a round way if anandi was not a divorcee may still saachi would have taunted but for diff reason...

Ira still would have told d luv for maika... coz anandi truly lus her maika n y anandi every gurl luvs her parents...

Marriage doent mn dat coz i m getting taunted n harassements it would be better i would have married a person like me... haveng similar past... marriage is mix of all thngs luv responsiblity understanding agreements dis agreements n many thngs...

u urself said saachi like ppl r many in dis wrld n ira as a mother who cares for her children mre also present in dis wrld...

debbie children do lot of mistakes in dis wrld but parents r one who will alwz stay wid dem... luv dem in hindi it is said putur kuputar ho sakta hai par mata kumata nahi ho sakti...

MArriage is a responsibilty a companionship of trust n understanding,,, its not based on past its based on situations... based on mistakes n den rectification of dat mistakes... its based on yes we r togethr irresctive sumtmes our thoughts do no match but we will face situations...

evn if anandi would have married a divorcee her problems would be diff n way of handling entierly diff

Mahii you are right. Ira and Sanchi would still have taunted Anandi for other reasons if she had not been a divorcee. However I think Anandi could have retaliated in a better way.

I remember Anandi was not so passive to taunts in her childhood as she is today. Her behaviour as many of you have commented is because of the conditioning that she got from Dadisaa and her past. A normal person with no such past could have better coping mechanism at these scenarios.

Sometimes I doubt is she suffering from some inferiority comple due to her past!!??

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Would Anandi happier With A Divorcee than Shiv

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