I never see you have to wash the feet of son in law - Page 6

Originally posted by: msg1

You are so right...the whole marriage ceremony is chauvinistic.

What's with 'Kanya daan'...is she a cattle to be given for 'daan'?

The 'mangalsutra' IS like proclaiming 'she's mine'. Like you put a name placard on a bovine.

The 'maang bharna' is also proclaiming that this women is now mine.

Excactly "kanyadan"" is another chauvinistic ritual which should be boycotted... actually a lot of people have the guts to do that... someone I know made it clear to the pandit that she doesn't think her daughter is property so the word kanyadan would be not used ... instead they went for hastmilap...even marriage symbols like mangalsutra and sindur are chauvinistic along with the so called fasts...but then again one should say to all this chauvinistic stuff as it does nothing but reinforces patriarchy... such traditions and symbols are man made to boost the male ego...

Having said that, of course, I do need to point out that my hubby really, and I mean really 🤬loves it when I dress up all for him... 😛 And I do like wearing mangalsutra, sindoor n stuff... As long as I know he's gonna help me do the dishes n weekend laundry, heck, I don't really mind these once in a blue moon rituals...

Originally posted by: k_k_a

Well.. if we go by that clause, then most of Hindu marriage rituals are like that...

Why does only the bride alone have to wear a mangalsutra? I have sometimes equated it to a neck-collar for pet animals that says "you are MINE!!"

Why is it that the bride's hands are handed over to the groom? In most cases today, it's the bride who takes care of the husband and family... ideally the groom's mom should say to the bride, "Beti, please take care of my son.." LOL 😆😆😆 and instead the bride's father tells the groom to take care of his precious daughter?

The reason is SIMPLE!!!! In those days that was the way it was... and people will give the same reason - they are like Shiva and Parvati on that day of wedding, so worship them... the groom would probably have been a kid of 13 or 14 as people got married when they were kids or in their teens then.. There are some customs like bathing the bride, that's even more awkward today...

What I'm trying to say is that the ritual of Varpooja is there in most marriages and we just take it in a stride because it's the custom...

Today we r independent women n we know some of the rituals r awkward and even downright embarrassing - like some pre-Suhaagraat customs ... 😳 Don't even ask!!

and so, unless someone with a backbone says NO, these will continue to exist...

my parents being humiliated is worse than me being humiliated. tats how i look at it. anyway i think v can agree 2 disagree without hurting any1. And yeah i find the very concept of marriage in india hypocritical but yeah tats a separate discussion all together which has no end 😃

Originally posted by: goolab

I never see that frist time hear that what anjali is doing
What did you think guys

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Originally posted by: samantha1987200

I am glad Astha finally got the guts to say no to such a misogynistic ritual, in fact, if its true that bride and groom are true Lakshmi and Vishnu avtars , then the couple's feet should be washed by the grooms family too...

Originally posted by: Sweet_Krishna

Washing feet is not restricted to washing groom's feet in wedding ceremony. It has a greater meaning and certainly not misogynistic. In days of yore , hosts welcomed their guests by washing their feet in order to give them respite from exhaustion. Also, guests were considered form of God. There was no gender discrimination in that. During Navratras, people wash feet of small girls who are accorded the status of Goddess. Similarly, a groom's feet are washed because he is tired from journey, he is chief guest, he is given a token ritualistic bath to rid him of impurities due to journey before he sits for 'marriage' yajna.

if things are taken in right spirit by both the parties then I do not see why should anyone regard this as misogynistic ritual.

Washing groom's feet is a common tradition in North Indian weddings.None of us consider it misogynistic.

Well may be you don't for reasons unknown but the fact remains that its sheer chauvinism, there are several guests in the wedding who'd be tired so that reason doesn't hold ground... the fact is that though religion has certain beautiful aspects there are plenty of misogynistic and anti woman aspects in it as well which are primarily creations of man, not god...so one should avoid customs that reinforce the already patriarchal structure of our society. There will be no progress and no growth in the society if we keep on defending such customs. No sane person can deny the fact that in Indian wedding a groom is given way more respect and importance than he is worthy of . However , the bride doesn't get half of what she actually deserves. She is traded of like mere piece of property with a collar around her neck. One should therefore get out of shackles of rigid customs that leave room for gender discrimination open.

Originally posted by: k_k_a

Having said that, of course, I do need to point out that my hubby really, and I mean really 🤬loves it when I dress up all for him... 😛 And I do like wearing mangalsutra, sindoor n stuff... As long as I know he's gonna help me do the dishes n weekend laundry, heck, I don't really mind these once in a blue moon rituals...

My point is, no one... ( women or men) should be forced to do anything they're not comfortable with... Unless they really truly believe in it or like it...