ARHI FF: A force-field of happiness: NOTE on Page 88 (Dec 24, 2014) - Page 23

Originally posted by: Nandz

Quite a poignant update!!

To be honest i dont know how shweta can be so forgiving! She lost her young innocent daughter only due to her husband's carelessness, sheer negligence on his part. Ok i can even understand forgiveness, as in u forgive and move on, but she behaves as if nothing has happened. She is as attached as before. I guess may be as time passes and you reach a certain age, you realise there is no point harboring grudges against loved ones.

But i totally concur with sakshi. She is right in anger towards her father!

At one point i had started getting the idea that may be pari was khushi until i read about her tragic death! I then gave up the idea.

Anyway now i understand sakshi's desperation to find khushi! But there is some more connection? Waiting for it to unfold!

Ahh sakshi has barred telrconferencing! M sure when she will reach Delhi , All of ASR's pent up frutration, anger will be let loose! Waiting for fireworks to begin!!!

Loved the update!

Thanks for the PM!

Have a nice time at your parents'

Waiting for the next update!!

Hey. I think the reason that Shweta can forgive Manish is because she herself feels guilty. She feels that if she had not been that harsh and aggresive at that time, he never would have retaliated and hit her where it hurt...which was fighting for custody. So she at some level holds herself responsible. She also feels guilty for not knowing that he was struggling with addictions and was not able to help him. And lastly she feels guilty that in some way she has denied Saakshi a 'normal' family. So the guilt helps her in being more forgiving of her husband.

Saakshi does not have the same level of guilt and self-loathing as her mother. She sees things more black and white. And also, she never really had much of a relationship with her father to begin with, where Shweta can still hold onto the memories of the man he used to be. And also, his grief and repentence was genuine.

Yea. there are more connections still that will unfold. I'm getting a little frustrated of Saakshi's back story, I feel it's really dragging out and I just want to get to Khushi but it's important to understand Saakshi completely in order for the rest of the story to make sense.

So sit tight. It's all coming soon. 😊

Originally posted by: pearl.b

A very emotional update...sakshi's behaviour is totally justified..no one can forgive such a careless person...I really wonder whats sakshi's connection with khushi...guess will have to wait till the next update... I'm really missing khushi now...Please get her back soon...Thanks for the update

Hey, there are clues here and there as to Saakshi and Khushi's connection but the next update (or maybe the one after haven't decided yet) should clear it up quite a bit. 😊

Originally posted by: henamani

now we need some happiness. please. pretty please

Haha!!!! Your wish is my command. Happiness will be coming up super soon. Well maybe not happiness, but some more ASR style explosions. Either this update, or the next one. Pakka promise. 😊

Originally posted by: Arshix144

I think we have already established the fact that you write quite well and do wonders evoking certain emotions in all readers where we always end up feeling for all the characters in question. So I am not going to ponder on that for long but just thank you for yet another emotional roller coaster ride of a chapter.

We definitely got some insight into Saakshi's past and also a bit of an idea about her emotional connection to Khushi whom she refers to as Pari.

All there is left for us to see now is Khushi, Saakshi is definitely a likeable character. One that would challenge ASR but I still miss Khushi and I am glad that you are bringing her in sooner than later.

PS. I hope you are enjoying your vacation, we will look out for an update once you are back! :-)

PPS. Appreciate the PM

Hey Mini. thanks, you always make me blush!!

So you picked up on Saakshi calling Khushi Pari, that's the segway to the next flashback of Saakshi's past. I know it feels like Saakshi's past is getting a bit cumbersome, but I think it's super important to understand why she is so important, and why she plays such a role for both Arnav and Khushi.

Khushi will definitely be in the next few updates, but she still won't be 'found' for a bit. Alot needs to happen and needs to be sorted before she can come back.
😊

Originally posted by: st03im

Hey. I think the reason that Shweta can forgive Manish is because she herself feels guilty. She feels that if she had not been that harsh and aggresive at that time, he never would have retaliated and hit her where it hurt...which was fighting for custody. So she at some level holds herself responsible. She also feels guilty for not knowing that he was struggling with addictions and was not able to help him. And lastly she feels guilty that in some way she has denied Saakshi a 'normal' family. So the guilt helps her in being more forgiving of her husband.

Saakshi does not have the same level of guilt and self-loathing as her mother. She sees things more black and white. And also, she never really had much of a relationship with her father to begin with, where Shweta can still hold onto the memories of the man he used to be. And also, his grief and repentence was genuine.

Yea. there are more connections still that will unfold. I'm getting a little frustrated of Saakshi's back story, I feel it's really dragging out and I just want to get to Khushi but it's important to understand Saakshi completely in order for the rest of the story to make sense.

So sit tight. It's all coming soon. 😊

Originally posted by: Nandz

You know if you put it that way may be it makes sense but dont you think she is simply taking too much of blame? Though m not very convinced with this line of thinking but chalo even if she feels guilty for pushing her husband to the edge/ or indirectly be responsible for daughter's death, didnt she realise it was due to sheer negligence on his part that their daughter died? But i guess she is still holding on to the image of her husband that he was before everything changed. Wives do that. I have seen it many times. Chalo lets not dwell too much in to it! Thanks for the clarification!!

And now waiting for the next part! N sorry m not a very deep thinker, or can analyse things deeply. So may be sometimes you can expect such questions from me!!

Waiting for the next part

Nooo...never say that! You are a thinker which is why that came up to begin with!!! It's important to know where every character comes from and it's asking these sort of questions that makes us see that. So keep asking and thinking yaar!!! 😊

Heya all. So I am back! Thanks for all your comments on the last chapter. I know it was really dreary, but necessary, so thanks for your patience with me. I know I promised happy chapters, but here's another not so happy one, BUT, for those of you who have been missing Khushi, here she is! Albeit in the past. But still. Enjoy! And as always, press like or comment. And buddy me if you want PMs!

Chapter 15 - Separating Wholes

FLASHBACK - 2 years ago

Arnav was mad. Angry bull mad. He strode into the house and dumped his briefcase in Hari Prakash's waiting hands. "Khushi kahan hai," he inquired. "Kambre main Bhaiya." Arnav was off, a man on a mission ignoring HP's inquiries of setting dinner. How dare she, he thought. She knows how sensitive I am about Sheesh Mahal. What was the need for her to take Aarav there, that too after I had said no. It was quite by chance he found out too. A casual comment by Aarav at breakfast alerted Arnav that his wife and son had taken a short trip a few weeks ago when he was away on a business trip. A few discrete inquiries unearthed the full story. And now, he was mad and ready to give her a piece of his mind.

He entered the room like a hurricane, only to be met by silence and emptiness. Khushi, he thought wordlessly. He looked around, and for a brief second, had a moment of panic not finding her chirpy energy envelope him like every other day. Then, he heard a soft shuffle coming from the poolside. He quietly walked outside, to find Khushi completely engrossed in his plants. She was watering the roses he had planted there at her insistence, cuttings from his mother's garden. She was bent over the pots, whispering softly to them. In that instance, Arnav felt all the anger drain from his body, and a silent calm descended upon him. Pagal, he thought, as a soft smile crept up on his face. Of-course she would talk to flowers. He leaned back against the doorway, watching her. She smiled, but rather than the usual joy it radiated, there was something sad about it. He stared at her, wondering what she was thinking. In that instance, she stiffened completely, her spine straightening as if involuntarily. The air shifted suddenly, almost shimmering with electricity. Awareness permeated across the space between them, connecting them seamlessly. She knew he was there.

He heard her softly whispering his name. "Arnav.." He felt his heart beat faster as he heard an unspoken plea in her voice. He slowly walked to her. She was still turned away from him, but he saw her stiffen more as he approached. He slowly turned her around. Her eyes were closed shut, tears slowly making their way down her cheeks. He looked at her, confused and frightened. He wiped her tears away with the pads of his thumbs and held her face in his hands. "Khushi?" he inquired. Hey eyes burst open and looked at him. "Kya hua? Tum theek ho?" She catapulted into his arms and hugged him tight. He rubbed her back to comfort her, getting more concerned as the seconds passed by. She was quiet but he knew that she was still crying soundlessly. "Khushi? What happened? Did someone say something?" He felt her shake her head into his shoulder. He pulled back and looked at her. She gave him a watery smile. "Khushi, talk to me! What happened?" She smiled and put her hand on his cheek. "I was just thinking of how alone I will be when you leave me tomorrow. I will miss you so much, Arnavji," she softly whispered. "Bas?" he inquired, and softly chuckled. He put his hand over hers on his cheek and leaned his forehead against hers. "Khushi, main yun gaya, aur yun aaya. It's only a matter of a few days. A week at most." He leaned back and looked at her. "And anyways, you probably have more secret trips planned up your sleeves. Me gone will give you a chance to put your plans in action." Alarmed eyes shot up at him. "Arnavji...nahin...woh..." He chuckled, seeing her distress. "Relax, Khushi. I was just joking. But seriously, you are not going anywhere." She looked at him, her face betraying no emotions. "Aarav told me that you went to Lucknow last time I was away. Even after I said no. What were you thinking Khushi? Can't you sometimes just listen to me?" He heard her sigh. Was he imagining the look of relief in her eyes? Relief, and something else. "Arnavji, I'm sorry. But can we please not talk about this today? I don't want us to argue right before you leave." He looked at her. She was normally not so distressed when he left for his business trips. There was an almost desperate air about her. "What happened Khushi," he asked concerned. "I'll just really miss you," she whispered softly. He hugged her and murmured in her hair, "I'll be back soon, Khushi." He felt her nod silently, and frowned trying to understand what had come over her. I'll have to figure it out, he thought. But not now, he thought, as he pulled her pulled back and leaned down towards her. He kissed her softly, almost reverentially. "I love you, Khushi," he whispered as he drew back from her. "I don't know what I would do without you." He lifted her into his arms, and carried them back into the room. He lay her gently on the bed, and kissed her on her forehead. He got up to leave, thinking she was probably too distressed to want more, but was surprised when she held his hand and pulled him back to her. "Arnavji, kiss me please." He was surprised, she was not normally this forward, but he happily obliged. The kiss that started off as sweet reassurance slowly became more passionate. With a groan, he pulled back, feeling a wave of desire consume him. "Khushi, we can't continue this. If we do, I won't be able to stop." She looked at him, her eyes glinting ferociously. "I know," she whispered, as she pulled him towards her again and kissed him with a passion that surprised even him.

He made love to her, gently, sweetly, protectively that night, letting his kisses show her how much he loved her. And she gave her all to him, almost desperately, making him feel loved. She made him whole. And as she came apart in his arms, he slowly kissed away her tears, promising himself for the millionth time, that he would do everything possible to love, cherish and protect the woman in his arms.

The morning came too soon, and with a heavy heart, Arnav entangled himself from Khushi, and quickly got ready to leave. When it was time, he went over to Khushi, who was still sleeping deeply, and kissed her forehead gently. He stopped at the door, and looked back at her, her body turned away from him, unable to get rid of the niggling feeling in his heart. Why, he thought to himself, am I finding it so difficult to leave her today? The last time he had this feeling, he ended up being separated from her, as he was kidnapped, almost losing her in the process. Maybe it's because she was upset last night, he thought, as he dismissed the feeling and walked away. If he had walked back into the room and turned to see Khushi, he would have found tears streaming down her face, her fist jammed in her mouth as she tried to prevent herself from sobbing out loud.

"Mom," Aarav exclaimed. Khushi was hugging him hard, almost crushing him. "MOM," he yelled this time. "Mom, itna emotional hone ki koi zaroorat nahi hai." She pulled back and laughed through her tears. Her son was exactly like his father. He softly wiped away her tears. "Kya Mom. It's just for a few days. I promise I will behave. I will do all my homework. I will drink milk every day. Bas?" She again smiled though the haze of tears. She looked at him, wanting to tell him how much she loved him, but too overcome, she instead gave him a quick hug and got up from where she kneeling on the floor. The family, watching her with her son, smiled indulgently, used to her histrionics. She quickly wiped her tears away and turned to everyone else. "Naniji," she said, as she bent down and touched Nani's feet. "Khush raho Bitiya," Nani responded. She enveloped Khushi in a hug, and told her, "Don't worry Bitiya. Go peacefully and spend some time with Buaji. You haven't been in a long time, and she will also be happy to have her Sanka Devi for a few days." Khushi smiled, and turned to Anjali, and hugged her tight. "Khushi?" Anjali asked. She looked at Khushi. "Are waah. Kya hua Khushi. Aaj itna pyar hum sab ke liye?" She chuckled, seeing Khushi redden up. "Aisa kuch nahi Di. I'll just miss you all." Anjali shook her head and smiled. "Pagal," she said softly, watching Khushi almost wring poor Laxmiji's neck as she held onto her tightly.

With her goodbyes almost done, Khushi's eyes searched the room restlessly, and narrowed down on Mami who was walking down the stairs, headphones plugged into her ears, as she tunelessly hummed the latest Bollywood number that was blasting from the IPod she held in her hands. "Mamiji," Khushi exclaimed, and ran from the entrance to the foot of the stairs, and before Manorama Raizada could comprehend what was happening, Khushi threw herself onto her, hugging her tight. "Hello Hi Bye Bye," she exclaimed. "Whaat is this? Phati sari become Aansoo factory?" Khushi drew back and laughed through her tears. "Chalo ab. Maternity home is waiting, no? You goes jaldi jaldi, and come back also jaldi jaldi. If you are gone long, who will do all your work? I have no time, you knows." Khushi smiled, now feeling complete. "Mamiji. I have made your low-fat badam kheer for you. Make sure you have it. And I've made ladoos for Aarav. And jalebis for everyone else. And there are some sugar free ones for Arnavji also." Mami looked at her astonished. "Aansoo factory become sugar factory? Hello Hi Bye Bye." Khushi smiled softly, and walked back to the door where everyone was watching her with amusement. She stopped at the door, and looked back at the house, her eyes greedily taking in every detail. Her gaze stopped at Aarav, and she stared at him, her expressions restless. NK stepped up to her and looked at her face. He couldn't get over the feeling that something was not quite right. "Khushiji. Why are you worried? I am here no? I will look after Aarav." Big doe-like eyes looked up at him. "Promise?" she asked him. "Makka promise, Khushiji." She smiled while Anjali hit her head with her hand in exasperation. "Oho NK bhai, it's..." But before she could say anything else, Khushi exclaimed loudly. "Di. Hume kehene dije na. Makka nahin Nanheji, pakka. Pakka promise." He smiled at her smile, and lifted his hand to his ear in his trademark apologetic gesture. "Haan haan, wohi." She smiled at him, for the first time that day, feeling a measure of calm, and in an impulse leaned forward and hugged him quickly. "Shukriya Nanheji," she whispered softly. And then she was gone before he had a chance to process what had just happened.

"Haan Buaji, sab kuch theek hain," Khushi said again in apparent exasperation as Madhumati Gupta hovered around Khushi. "Hai Re Nandkisore, this titiliya just shows up here unannounced, what do you want me to think?" Khushi looked up at her Buaji and hid a smile. "Nothing Buaji. Arnavji is gone for a few days so I thought I will go and see Amma Babuji in Lucknow, so I came to meet you first." Buaji sat down with a thump at the table next to Khushi. "Eh? Lucknow? Ab ee plan kab banaya, Sanka devi?" "Abhi Buaji. Chalo, I am getting late to catch the train. I will call you from there." And like the butterfly she was named after, she flitted away before Buaji had a chance to stop her.

Khushi sat in the train looking broodingly outside at the platform. A big blue sign announced that they were in Lucknow. But Khushi sat on, with tears streaming down her face. She barely registered the sights, sounds and smells of the train and station around her, choosing instead to lock herself in her misery. The train slowly left the platform, and soon Lucknow was far behind her. She continued staring out the window. Opposite her sat a young woman, maybe slightly older than her, regarding her with curiosity and something else in her piercing gaze. Evening slowly descended, and with it came a slew of vendors selling everything from tea, to snacks to full hot meals. Khushi lay her head back, eyes closed, exhausted from the trying day she had had. Suddenly, she felt a soft touch on her knee. She jerked her eyes open to look at the woman sitting opposite her. "Will you have something to eat? I bought two meals." Khushi stared at the woman, hearing the slight accent in her voice, and wordlessly took the foil tin that was being offered to her. She looked at the woman who was now occupied in her meal, and hesitantly, Khushi ate. She quietly allowed the woman to clean up, curious enough to wonder who she was. "Tea?" Khushi shook her head, and looked up to see light brown eyes studying her carefully. "Where are you going?" the woman asked her. Khushi looked at the floor, not sure what to say. "I don't know," she whispered at the floor. The woman looked at her carefully. "I am going to the north. There is an ashram there. They work in the villages, with the women. Teaching them trades. I am going to spend some time there. Why don't you come with me?" Khushi looked up, surprised. "Why?" she asked. The woman in front of her shrugged. "My Hindi's not very good. You could be helpful." Khushi looked at her silently for a short while, and then quietly nodded. Satisfied, the woman leaned back on the berth. "My name is Saakshi. Saakshi Tanwar. What's yours?" Khushi looked at the woman. She felt a vague familiarity with the name, but couldn't place it. She looked at the woman, again unsure of what to say, tears slowly filling her eyes. She looked down, not wanting to cry in front of this stranger. "Hey, it's ok," she heard her say. "It's ok." Uncomfortable silence descended on them, but Khushi didn't know what to do. Finally, the woman spoke. "Can I call you Pari?" Khushi looked at her in surprise. "It's just, that's what I called my sister, and you remind me of her." Khushi again silently nodded, and with a satisfied look on her face, Saakshi settled back in the berth. The night passed on in silence, as both women remained lost in their memories, wondering what the next day would bring.

______________________________

So I have a confession to make. I finally gave in and watched a few episodes of the new Iss pyaar show. I was resisting till now, since I really thought it was a horrible idea, and would be a disaster, but surprise surprise, it's quite good. The story is quite different, but the angst and tension that was there in the original is here too. And the chemistry is quite good too. I will not watch it regularly because I don't think I can handle any more TV show obsessions, one is quite enough. But it wasn't too bad after all. 😊

As always, please share your thoughts. 😊 With Love, Shy

Chapter 16 here

Now again it was quite a poignant chapter!

Nice update dear. So curious as to why Khushi left...