| Whatever happened to Karan Johar and his merry band of superstars? Why have they reduced themselves to a gaggle of giggling, gossiping, gurgling geese? Why do they assume that each time they assemble on television, they have to behave as though they are at a kitty (sic) party at one another's home? And, isn't it awfully sad that the people we admire most on the big screen can be so disappointing on the small one? Anyone who watched the initial episode of Koffee with Karan on Star World's new season will know that Karan Johar invited—who else—but his best Bollywood (and should we add, bosom?) buddies—Kajol and Shah Rukh Khan, the same pair who had appeared in the opening episode of the first season. Since this might strike everyone as rather repetitious (not to say incestuous), Rani Mukerji was added to the cast of clowns for the following reasons: she is Kajol's cousin, once-removed from being liked; Shah Rukh's co-star in Kabhie Alvida Na Kehna and worked in Johar directorial debut a decade ago, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, which this mnage-a-four was celebrating. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, she was not part of the inner Karan, Kajol, Khan circle (because she did not have a name beginning with K?) What followed was the most puerile behaviour since, well, since the last time the three Ks had a rendezvous with television. The only occasion when Kajol spoke coherently was without Shah Rukh next to her, while describing Fanaa and acting with Aamir Khan. The moment Shah Rukh flopped down on the sofa, she was reduced to a simpering simpleton who couldn't keep her hands off him. Is this the effect Shah Rukh has on perfectly sensible and intelligent women? Shah Rukh Khan made one very cogent remark about the media and film stars. One. Otherwise, he basked in the company of his three favourite co-stars Kajol, Rani—and Karan. Shah Rukh is a witty, clever, eloquent man, so why does he believe that every time he opens his mouth on the talk show, he has to be funny and oh-not-so-funny with silly jokes about homosexuality (or was it bisex?). Yes, he spoke about "waking up next to'' Karan and the three movie musketeers laughed heartily. Rani, poor dear, was the butt of their collective inane sense of humour. When asked what she would do if she was airborne with Kajol and Shah Rukh and one of them had to jump (or some such) she replied in a saintly fashion that she would save her cousin and the man to her right. "Oh please!'' squealed Kajol. Rani appeared prosaic and unglamorous because she wasn't willing to bitch or string together in-house jokes (well, how could she when she isn't one of the inmates?). She was the butt of their bitchiness (sorry, but there is no other term for it) and played Mother Teresa to boring perfection. As for Karan, he had forgotten the definition of a talk show. It's meant to get people to "talk" about themselves, their work, their private lives, whatever. It's meant to regale the audience with information about personalities who we don't otherwise know about—anecdotal, personalised, frank. K with K was none of the above. It was an exercise in self-idolisation (if there is such a term) in which everyone (but Rani) admired their own cleverness and then Shah Rukh's. He (of course) won the hamper. Not only that. Children, asked what they thought of the three stars, were drooling: "Oh, SRK, you are so sexy''. Another: "You are my God!" Is that what we want to hear? Is that what Shah Rukh needs to hear? The next Koffee session was no better. It's hard to believe that Priyanka Chopra was a Miss World when you see her in such awe of the deified filmmaker. Hrithik Roshan tried hard to be trs cool, but his Juhu roots surfaced when he called Chopra "Dude". And wouldn't we love to gift the film flock a dictionary? The only adjectives they know of are "rocking", "hot", "sexy" and "mind-blowing". Mallika Sherawat on tonight's show seems to promise entertainment. We hear the self-judged diva refused to shoot for the show's behind-the-scenes portions. She's also delightfully politically incorrect and admits to being starry to feed her superiority complex. And the icing—she carried a Do Not Disturb sign to be hung outside her green room door. Wonder how the clique-loving filmmaker/anchor took to that. Karan J should take lessons in the art of talk show anchoring from none other than the woman his chums and he sneer at—Simi Garewal. For all her slightly irritating persona and woman-in-white fashion statement, Garewal has the ability to draw out her guests and leave us knowing more about them at the end of the show than at its beginning. After watching Koffee with Karan, you don't want to know any of them |
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