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Dichotomy. Jodha's personality has had a dichotomy ever since Jalaal has taken over her life like a storm. The oft compassionate, kind, understanding and forgiving Jodha shows all that is passionate, intense, immature, irrational , furious and stubborn inside her whenever confronted with Jalaal, this marriage and her cliffhanger relationship with him. And in the recent times, Jodha's psycho-emotional shift towards Jalaal that has led to an emotional frustration , has only mounted her fire as the Jodha that only Jalaal knows and evokes. All her feelings - or rather frustrated feelings where she herself doesn't know the truth that she doesn't want to leave Jalaal- all these feelings have disguised themselves as irrational anger and are pushing Jodha towards extremity. Extreme arguments. Extreme rudeness. Extreme fights. Extreme rebellion. And its not against Jalaal - its against her own hidden self that is emerging as Pro-Jalaal and Pro-Agra.
But Jodha's self-war against herself and Jalaal has still not overtaken her conscience - at least as far as everyone else is concerned , if not Jalaal. Jodha understood the religious/cultural blemish of colouring a widow. Yes, it might have been a mistake but considering that its the 1500s and the orthodox beliefs reigning supreme, its a big shocker and not expected from a Mughal Queen.
Jodha arguing with Jalaal over having coloured a widow would have taken away the sensitivity and shock of the situation. And that Jodha felt bad about hurting Maaham's sentiments and her robes shows that she is torrid only with Jalaal - you take her elsewhere and she has the heart of a goat - like seriously. She felt sorry about hurting Maaham and being the cause of it - even if the act of throwing colour was not intentional. So, that she why she offers no arguments to a fuming Jalaal - she only asks for punishment because she has ended up hurting up someone.
As for Jalaal - we all know Maaham Anga's position in his life and her tears and pain will always get to him. Khoon ka na sahee, karam aur mann ka rishta hai . And you really cannot beat that. No matter what Maaham does in the long run, Jalaal will ultimately forgive her ,even when he finds out that she is guilty.
Coming to the precap and Jodha's suicide attempt - am not surprised. Jodha is a Rajputani of 1500s where 'aan-baan-shaan' were everything - and to live to see the shame of seeing her traumatized mother Mainawati coming to take her - is a wee bit too much of disgrace and self-shame. Yes, Jodha had told Jalaal in anger that she will die happily in Amer... but to say that you have bought a guitar and to strum the guitar are two different things. Jodha is not the one who would want to face her parents with eyes that cannot look into them. And if not that ... then, Jodha can only be seen as someone who has been pushed off the edge... by both the forces that are 'inside' and 'outside' her. Emotional frustration is a sanity cliffhanger. ALWAYS. 😆
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