Smitar's: Loving Khushi#4 link to #5 on Pg 1 - Page 45

Smita,😊

Here is the interpretation to Part 14.

This update is about sudden sharp pain, painful emotions, in a word PANG!

As Arnav parked his car in front of the main building of Mangaldas Memorial School, a residential school, he took in the surroundings. It was a huge campus situated in the countryside with acres of land in its holding. The school buildings dotted the landscape amidst the veritable forest area covered with a green cover of young trees that showed conservation and enhancement of the natural environment. It had a remarkable atmosphere of peace and serenity. He turned to look at Khushi who was sitting in her seat. She had blanched and her numb fingers had curled around the ends of her dupatta. The agony of separation from Arnav had now taken the mammoth proportion just like the school grounds itself. Covering her fingers with his, giving her the much needed warmth and assurance that he was there for her, always, he comforted her with words too saying, that it was alright and they too would soon love her just like him. His words though meant as a comfort to her held his pangs of regret. As the doe eyed damsel in distress looked at him with her eyes showing her trust in him, just like a young deer would, he tried to alleviate her mood by saying, like her Laxmiji does. It did help to nip off the pain a bit and bring out a wisp of a smile on her face. He reminded her that it was the time to meet her boss, Girija Deviji. Khushi nodded feeling yellow, for she realized that the time had come to begin a new phase in her life, where she was to tread alone amidst strange faces without the support of her Arnavji, who had been there for her through thick and thin. Even when he was firing salvos at her he had seen that he was protecting her from everyone else. He was there to hold her whenever she fell. He had been behind her quietly but now she had to stand on her own two feet and use her wit to pave her way through. Arnav while giving a warm kiss on her cold cheek reminded her that, whatever happens, he was just a phone call away. And as she silently nodded her understanding, he continued to say that, whether she wanted them or not, she had an Amma, a Babuji, a Buaji, a Jiji, a Nani, a Mami, a Mama, a Di, two brothers, a HP, and a goat all who love you and miss you. Though she felt a tweak at being away from them she nodded her head vigorously acknowledging the fact. Finally coming to the point he wanted to stress, feeling a pang in his heart, he whispered that, she has her husband who loves her more than his own life. Khushi feeling the depth of sadness hidden in those words, looked into his eyes and nodded slowly unable to utter anything to console him for she herself was feeling a darting pain in her heart. As he asked her, shall we go? she just nodded.

Girija Devi looked at the odd pair sitting in front of her. She did a double take, seeing the cook's new help dressed in traditional clothes but expensive and finest of them, with mangalsutra and sindoor intact, with a face wan and nervous. Her husband dressed in a black suit, a designer outfit, exuding power, had driven his wife and her belongings to Varanasi from Delhi in a SUV, an imported luxury vehicle possessed by an elite few, made her raise her eyebrows. The lady in front of her, had come over as the cook's help? This had her jaws dropped. Girija Devi was at her wits end. She wondered was she here to take the job of a cook's help? To confirm, she looked at the card that the husband had given her. She wondered what was wrong with Arnav Singh Raizada, the owner of AR Designs, some international company that made skimpy clothes for petite women, exhibited by the models of size zero. Why was his wife desperate to leave him? And why was he so desperate to get rid of his wife that he had come all the way to Varanasi to drop her off? It disturbed her and felt a pang of sympathy to the couple for resorting to this, for they must be having their own constraints was her opinion and no one of their position would resort to such a step without any reason. All her experience was telling her so and so also was her sixth sense. So deciding to give her opinion she cleared her throat to say that, since Mrs. Raizada has no experience at this job, her suggestion was to have a trial period of one month and after evaluating her work and if she was happy to stay with them, they could think of permanent employment. Khushi though felt a bit aback, knew it was a fair and square deal, looked at the middle-aged matronly lady and then at her husband before nodding in assent. Girija Devi suggested that, Nandini would take them around the campus, and show the kitchen and the quarters too. Khushi nodded.

The minute the pair exited the room, Giraja Devi, suppressing the pangs of guilt, checked for information in her computer, for each and everything that she could get her hands on Arnav Singh Raizada. What she saw, was not at all what she had expected of the family, for a cook's help to hail from. Arnav Singh Raizada was Harvard-educated scion of the ancient Raizada family of Lucknow. A person who had excelled in his field and was the recipient of numerous Best Businessman of the Year Awards. She found a gallery of the pictures of various fashion shows, in which a stern, cold Arnav Singh Raizada stood surrounded by models in the clothes designed by his firm. She was filled with misgivings. It made her wonder, why he had married such an ordinary girl from such an ordinary, middle-class family. Had his family forced him to it? Was he ashamed of her? Had he brought her to Varanasi to get rid of her? Or was his family against this marriage? Having dedicated herself to the social cause of women and their education her first thoughts were so many questions and yet no answers! She stood looking out of the window, contemplating on what she had found and whether she was missing anything in the puzzle.

Arnav and Khushi saw the school where 3000 girls studied, a huge establishment by any standards. They saw the hostel that housed the students and the teachers, the huge kitchen and the colossal dining and Khushi's quarters. It was a small room with a private balcony on the second floor with a single cot, a chair and a table. Other than that it housed a built-in almirah. The room was clean and airy. Placing the bags in her room, Arnav asked her softly, was that O.K.? Hearing her whispered, yes, he opened her suitcase and began to help her unpack. Taking out her Devi Maiyya's idol, she placed it on the table and while he arranged her clothes in her almirah, she made up her bed with the new sheets and the pillow that her Arnavji had bought for her. Both gripped by the pangs of misery and wretchedness, silently set things and soon the room looked very much like her's with all her personal belongings around.

Once done, Arnav asked her to keep her phone with her at all times and when she uttered, yes, in a wobbly voice, he hugged her tight with gnawing grief asked her, to take care of herself. Khushi running her hand on his back feeling him, feeling pangs of sorrow override her being, clung to him, breathing in the scent of his after shave that was lingering on him. Arnav trying to ease her pain of separation, he whispered that it was time for him to leave. Though Khushi nodded, she did not want to let go of him. With his warm hand caressing her cheeks and wiping it clear of the tears that were not stopping from pooling in her eyes and streaming down, he asked her, to promise him of two things. When she agreed, cupping her cheeks he asked her to call him if she needs him and he will come to her in a jiffy. Khushi nodded and said that she promises to do so. Then, he whispered the second one asking her to pledge that, she would try to be happy. She looked into his eyes with a misty vision and nodded. Pangs of fear, pangs of remorse washed over them.

Girija Devi, who was looking out of her window pondering over the information she had got out of her computer, watched Arnav Singh Raizada and his wife, Khushi walk down together to his car. As he turned to look at Khushi and smiled saying, bye, she could see Khushi struggling hard to smile back at him hiding her pain, while whispering her bye. What she saw next rooted her to the spot. Arnav, turning away to walk to his car with his back towards Khushi, lost his smile and his face was drawn, tortured and shriveled like a deflated balloon. His face was a picture of fear, remorse and gripe with misery. She thought, well, well, wonders will never cease! Business tycoon, Arnav Singh Raizada was in love with his simple, middle-class wife and did not want to leave her. Filled with curiosity, her eyes moved to Khushi's face. What she saw was so touching that she felt a lump in her throat. The girl's face was a picture of misery, as miserable as a frost bitten apple. It had lost all its color and vigor just like a burst out soap bubble! Her distress was apparent and her face was pinched with pain. It made her wonder as to what was going on. As she watched, she saw Khushi wave to her husband as he drove away, her arm waving to him in the air with a face like wet weekend plastered with a plastic smile, till he vanished from her sight.

Girija Devi was stumped with what she saw. She hit her head with her hand and wondered why was it she felt like the cruel Akbar viewing things from his tower as he ordered Anarkali to be entombed for falling in love with the Crown Prince Salim! Looking at her reflection in the glass of her window she let her imagination run away. For, she would make a rotund King Akbar. She imagined herself with a plumed turban, a salt and peppered horse shoe moustache and a rose in her hand. It evoked a shudder in her. Feeling a pang of sympathy, she decided she needed to take things under her control and do something about this Arnav Singh Raizada with hangdog look and his tearful wife, Khushi.

This update showed though both Arnav and Khushi feeling the pangs of imminent separation, both were filled with pangs of fear too.

For Khushi, it was the fear of losing her support system that was one man totem pole, her Arnavji. She had become accustomed to having him around her, and her, hovering around him. But now she has to stand on her own two feet and away from him. It was eating her heart out. But she needed to do it for herself. She owed it to herself. She needed her 'me-time' very badly to sort things out and this residential school was quite ideal.

For Arnav it was the fear of her decision. Though he was 99% sure of the outcome, that 1% could overrule everything in the end. This, his business acumen understood. Though the chance of that particular 1% becoming reality was remote, it could not be ruled out even if it was something he did not want to think about. But things were out of his control. He needed to give her the space to decide. He owed her the right to decide. He owed her at least one chance to give that right and set things right, for his list of errors were too long. But the irony of it was the decision of his life ahead rested on one decision from her. That is why he is smote with pangs of fear.

For Arnav Singh Raizada it is a long wait, to see whether her pangs of separation have the capacity to over ride all the other pangs of emotions. Now his pang of remorse, pang of guilt is insufficient to move her. So he feels a pang in his heart!

For Girija Deviji, it is her innate nature of responding to people and their problems that has made her have pangs of sympathy. Both Arnav and Khushi have found a mentor in her unknown to them.

That is why it is titled PANG.

"You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have"

That's it from me. Hope you enjoy it.