Smitar's: Loving Khushi#4 link to #5 on Pg 1

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Posted: 11 years ago

#921

Originally posted by: rulama
Smita,😊

Here is the interpretation to Part 19

This update is about a way of thinking about something, a sensible way of judging how good, bad, important something is in comparison with other things, in a word PERSPECTIVE.

Arnav stood before his wardrobe that held both his as well as Khushi's clothes. His field of view was Khushi's side of the wardrobe. Running his hand through the colourful salwar sets that had brightened his wardrobe just like his life had become colourful from the black and white it was before by the advent of its owner he brought a dupatta to his face and breathed in the jasmine fragrance, a fragrance very Khushi-like one that he had come to associate with her. Just the fragrance brought in a deep yearning in him for her and his throat wobbled with emotions that he controlled with extreme effort and in the end had to shutter his lashes to stop the pooled tears from spilling out. Yet, the eyelashes fanning his cheek were moistened with the wisp of glittering tears. From his standpoint it was quite a hopeless situation. Arnav Bhaiyya, came the meek call from the door, informing the presence of HP. As Arnav turned around, HP placing the tray on the low table told him that Di had sent him juice and requested him to drink it and quickly cleared out of the room.

Arnav sighed and turned to close the wardrobe and as he was sliding the door his eyes caught something bright peeping out that had been hidden under Khushi's clothes. As he pulled it out he saw that it was the yellow book that Khushi used to pen down diligently God-only-knew-what. Flipping through the cover page, he saw that it was written as 'Arnav Singh Raizada Ko Satane Ke Sau Tareeke' 100 ways to torment Arnav Singh Raizada. The title itself brought out a smile in him as it gave him an insight to her way of looking. As he opened the next page, he found much to his amusement that she had listed out the many ways in which she could irk him. It held, out beat him at the chance to use his bathroom, occupy his cupboard, and change his room to suit her, tease him by addressing him as 'Swami'... Arnav burst out laughing coming to know the various means she had used to irk him had in fact endeared her to him for her quaint ways, so very, very, Khushi like! It showed her mindset that was to bounce back from the miserable situation she was pushed into as at RM and she had made the best of the situation, very enterprising indeed! His heart swelled with pride at his wife, for being the person she was.

As he flipped over the page he saw that she had listed the amount she owed him. She had neatly noted it down under the title, my debt. She had written the amount as well as if repaid and how. Listing the various amounts, under all the others she had written the total sum owing Arnavji as Rs.55,300. For her, returning the amount was of utmost importance as it had always been conjoined with her dignity. Arnav leaned his head against the wardrobe door, his eyes shut. All the times he had called her a gold digger came to his mind, sending him to the pit of misery. She was a person who never kept other's money and he wondered how could he accuse her to be so? His attitude towards her had been abominable and now she was feeling difficult to believe in him. As he was wallowing in his misery, he heard, Arnavji, making him look towards the door. It was Payal who had called, and asked him, was he alright? Arnav nodded. She told him that Khushi will be worried if he falls ill. Arnav assured her that he would be fine. Payal confessed that Khushi calls her everyday worried about his well being, making Arnav smile. His heart felt heavy seeing the care that Khushi took even when he had always degraded her. Now he knew, his way was very wrong, really very wrong. But he could not tell that to Payal. Could he? All he could do was smile brightly at being taken care of by his Khushi.

Khushi soon adjusted to her work schedule and one day found that she had a couple of free hours after the lunch. Hoping to spend a few minutes talking to her Arnavji, she called him. Arnav was in the middle of a meeting in his office. His managers and Akash were with him and were in the middle of a heated discussion, when ASR's phone rang. The finance manager braced himself to hear the bellow and tear a strip off the caller as ASR was fanatical about keeping all phones switched off during all meetings. All looked at each other.

Arnav taking one look at the display, seeing Khushi! jumped up from his seat rushed out of the room muttering, an excuse me! He was not aware of Akash's smile or the astonishment of his employees. What they did not know was his approach towards his personal life had undergone drastic changes. Hoping it to be so he asked Khushi, was she free? She told him that she was and has two hours of free time and in that she was about to go down to make garlands for the evening pooja. So she had thought she would talk to him for sometime. And where was he? When she came to know that he was at his office, she asked him whether he had his lunch. Arnav could not remember and he wondered with a frown did he have it? Then answered her that he thinks he had it. As Khushi persisted to know what the menu was, he tripped on words thinking what it might have been. He stated that it had roti, rice, something with karela and some brown sabzi. He could not really recall it perfectly. Khushi admonished him to take care of himself and his health as she was not there to harp on. She threatened that if he does not do it himself, she will have to take Di's help. Arnav who knew how his Di was, who would not even hesitate to emotionally blackmail him into doing things, told Khushi in a jiffy, no, not Di. Do not let her have a hold on this matter and he would take good care of himself. He would eat well on time and by the time she was coming back he would be as fit as a fiddle. Once again, he was shown what held importance in her life in comparison with other things, it was him and his well-being.

This was followed by a pause not knowing what to reply to that statement of his. Then as he said, he saw her notebook, her eyes widened and her mouth followed suit in horror. Arnav told her with a smile, 100 ways to irk Arnav Singh Raizada? making Khushi blush at her antics. He admitted with a heartfelt laughter that they were indeed successful, calling him Swami and her ditty, Aaj mausam he suhaana.. It is inspiring enough to make him write a book. When Akash came out to call Arnav and saw Bhai laughing, he left him alone. He knew that Bhai must be talking to Khushiji. That was a right stride in their relationship from his point of view. Arnav whispered to Khushi, it was inspiring enough to write, 100 Ways to Love Khushi Arnav Singh Raizada making her cheeks burn. Arnav murmured, Khushi, I love you. I love your naughtiness. I love your smile. It starts in your heart, shines in your eyes, and then comes to your lips... leading her thoughts all the way through. The sincerity in his voice adding potency to his husky murmur, made Khushi's toes curl. He confessed that he misses her very much and being away from her was like being butchered into two. Khushi too told him that it was so difficult to draw breath, she misses him too, giving him scope to hope. As the words fell out of her lips of their own free will, tears filled her eyes and Arnav breathed out Khushi... Telling him that she was going to cut the call as she was going down to make garlands, she rushed out of the room.

As Khushi was stringing orange and yellow marigold with rapid ease, Girija Devi pulled a chair close to Khushi, admiring her making long, colourful chains with the flowers. She told Khushi that she was quite quick at stringing the mala. Khushi agreed and with a slight smile told her that she was used to doing malas as Di conducts poojas regularly. Girija Devi asked her was Di her husband's sister? When Khushi nodded she told her that when two weeks back her family and her in laws had come to meet her she had seen them. From her position she felt they seemed to love her a lot, making Khushi agree with a smile. Girija Devi told her that, she had come far away from them even though she was not in need of money and paused as Khushi lost color on her face. She told Khushi that from her outlook, if her problem was not with her in-laws then it must be with her husband. Was he cruel to her? Was that why she was in Varanasi while he is at Delhi? She asked sympathetically in a low voice so that others could not overhear their conversation.

Her words spurred Khushi into action. She defended her Arnavji vehemently saying, Cruel? Arnavji? No way, of course not. He is the kindest man alive. It is just that because he looks khadoos and stern, people misunderstand him. The reality is he doesn't speak much. So people think he is very arrogant. Girija Devi asked her, really? inflecting her voice with unfelt skepticism. Khushi swore that what she said was true and if he were not so, would he pay Babuji's hospital bills? Would he fight goons to protect her? Would he give himself up to the kidnappers so that she could be safe? Would he rescue her from the guest house? Would he join her on the stage for Jiji's sangeet and lose his bet so that she could win? Girija Devi was surprised to get this overview of Arnav Singh Raizada, one not known to the world and asked, whether he did all that for her? Khushi told her all that and much more. She has never met a more decent man in her life other than her Babuji. Girija Devi murmured, so he loves her and Khushi confirmed that with a firm yes. Girija Devi taking this admission as her point for argument she objectively told Khushi that even though her husband loves her she does not love him. Her statement had Khushi frown and query what she meant by it. Girija Devi clarified, otherwise why would she leave such a gem of a man, who loves her so much, and come all the way to Varanasi to escape from him? It made Khushi stare at her, open-mouthed, then admit in a low voice, that she loves him. She loves him more than her life itself that gave Girija Devi the knowledge of importance and size of the space occupied by Arnav in Khushi's heart. Girija Devi, leaning back on her chair told her that, it was good to know that she reciprocates. But what use was this love if she does not use it? Khushi just stared at her words.

Girija Devi in her sweet way tried to knock some sense into Khushi by changing the direction of her thoughts. She tried to give her a panoramic view of life in relation to stubbornness and adamant behaviour. She told her that there are no certainties about life. The only certainty is death. And death will take all of us. It will take Khushi's Nani and her Tiwari Chacha, it will take both of them too, it will take her husband and her sister. If she spends her time making jalebi in Varanasi, she would be wasting her time that she could spend with her husband in this world. And she will not get this time back. Khushi teared up. Girija Devi continued giving her pointers told Khushi that her husband had a problem with his heart. When they got married, the doctors had given him only five years to live. Her disclosure made Khushi slack-jawed. She continued to tell her that, they had lived every moment to its fullest. Every single moment was ripe with quality moments. So she has no regrets. It had been twenty five years since he passed away, but the memories of those five glorious golden years were enough to bring a smile to her face. Even now and it would last a lifetime for her she said with a smile that lit her face at the memory. Girija Devi tried to give Khushi a broad view of things from her vantage point.

Her story had Khushi in tears and as she dried it, Girija Devi stood up to leave. She told Khushi that she has one more week of probation. She needed to think of her future and decide whether she was inclined to stay there or not. Khushi turned her ashen-face towards Girija Devi as the lady smiled and said, deciding to stay is not difficult. But living with her decision will be difficult. Saying so, she walked away, leaving Khushi to ponder what she really wanted. What Girija Devi meant was not to limit her vision to the present but think about the future with far-sightedness that may not be perceived by the naked-eye at a glance,as any decision she makes affects her future too. She has to cross the Rubicon and the decision has to be made wisely as it is an irreversible decision and with action comes the consequences, be it good or the bad.

Both Arnav and Khushi have their own perspective of how they want their life to be and funnily they coincide. Before Arnav was adamant and right now Khushi is so. With the talk from Girija Devi making sense to her, that one has to live each day to its fullest and that fullest is with the person whom you love and is your soulmate without whom you have difficulty to breathe. Khushi's perspective that was clouded with defiance and pain was penetrated by Girija Devi's talk.

That is why this update is titled PERSPECTIVE.

"We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses"
~ Abraham Lincoln

That's it from me. Hope you enjoy it.

thts fantastic Quota Rashmi di...i left in thinking mode for a sec to read tht...thts magic of the words...

girja devi's part is really painful...but she is lucky tht she has a love tht is still hers...khushi is left with harsh memories but girja devi's words will make her feel tht the life is too short to hold grugdes...

superb one di...

thnks for the PM...

Quote

Maddy1270

@Maddy1270

Inactive

Posted: 11 years ago

#922

Smita, sorry for the tardiness in commenting, but things have been real crazy here. So here are my comments to parts 15 to 19.

Part 15 " One can understand Khushi's trepidation as she is starting out all on her own... whatever she might say to the contrary, her dealings with Arnav and his caustic comments must have made a dent in her confidence. Nandini's words just add to her nervousness about her immediate boss... except for his rotund body and the fact that he is a brahmachari, Tiwariji has quite a few similarities with ASR: both are finicky about punctuality, order and cleanliness, neither likes repeating himself and both are short-tempered but hide a heart of gold... after her trial by fire at AR, I am sure Khushi can cope with anyone or anything! Pretty amusing how Nandini quickly stopped her tongue from running away with her for fear that the complete truth might scare her away. The last man hired for this post had run away so fast that he had not even stopped to collect his luggage! Funny! Khushi gathering courage and being inspired by thoughts of how Arnav dealt with his tragic past and rose above it, is a touching moment; she is going put on an expressionless face against the slings and arrows of the world, as he was wont to do. The role reversal is almost complete " Arnav is laying his heart on the line and openly displaying his emotions, while Khushi is trying to suppress hers so as to show an impassive face to the world. Khushi's petite figure juxtaposed against that of that mountain of a man makes for an interesting contrast. Khush has been pushed into the deep end from the word go... that's one way of her, and others around her, finding out what she is capable of! Tiwariji letting her know what is expected of her leaves no room for error on her part. Poor thing can't have relax and have fun with her cooking because now she is under a microscope and has to prove herself. "Arnavji... Arnavji...," she chanted... what an irony: the person whim she once feared, his name has become a survival mantra for her! Affecting of Arnav to hang those stars of hers over her bed, thus bringing not only Khushi's parents closer to her but also himself and the bittersweet memories associated with those stars. A voice that often was harsh and cutting has now become dear to her. Their first telephone conversation after their separation highlights how greatly each is concerned about the other's wellbeing... they would rather hear how the other is than reply how they themselves are! "A terror?" Arnav's voice was faint... Arnav's unease on learning that Khushi's immediate boss is a terror and his anger at the thought of anyone daring to scold his wife is heart-warming... if he had been in Varanasi he might very well have torn Tiwariji limb from limb, despite the latter being a mountain of a man! "I was very careful. And I am not very scared of him now. Woh kya hai, I am so used to you shouting at me that...," she laughed. Arnav grimaced... Khushi has recovered enough to gently tease Arnav but he knows there's a grain of truth in her comment... her dealings with him have hardened her enough, at least on the outside, that she can deal with any other cranky or fussy boss. The guilt and remorse for his harsh behaviour is ever-present. On the phone while driving, he is reluctant to let her end their conversation. She giving him details of her day resembles a typical conversation between husband and wife. Arnav's sense of helplessness on learning of the long hours and the amount of work Khushi has to put in, and his realisation that there is nothing he can do to ease the path for her is well etched. Khushi confessing to him that she knows how scared he must have felt while starting out and that she is going to imitate his poker face so as to face life with the same courage and determination he has displayed, and he admitting to her, only to her, that he was scared when he first started out is a clear indication why these two seemingly disparate souls are soulmates... a poignant moment, especially the tears slowly trailing down Arnav's cheek... the dam has finally burst, and there is none to comfort him!

Part 16 " It must have come as a great shock to the Raizadas to see Arnav return without Khushi, when just a day or two before, they had been teasing the newlyweds' about being inseparable. Arnav deciding to tell them the whole truth and nothing but the truth is the right move... he is right about having forced Khushi both the times to marry him: the first time was sheer physical as well as emotional force, while the second was more emotional. I found the family to be hypocritical in laying the blame solely on Arnav for the mess his marriage is... they are equally to blame for making Khushi's life at Shantivan difficult... first they never noticed what Shyam was up to or what was happening between Arnav and Khushi, then when the truth was out Nani decreed that her Khussi Bitiya wasn't to appear before Anjali and, of course, Anjali blamed her for Shyam being kicked out. "The minute I found out about Shyam, I should have called you and NK aside and told you the truth. I should have taken your help. It would have helped us deal with Shyam in an effective manner. Khushi keeps telling me that I don't have to do everything alone, but I am so used to... She is right..." That would have been the sensible thing to do, but understand where Arnav is coming from: someone who has been forced to take difficult decisions to rebuild his life and take on the responsibilities of his family at a young age would find it extremely difficult to give up that control, especially as everyone else has been more than willing for him to do so. The others just followed where he led. He deserves their anger for the injustice done to Khushi, but they aren't entirely blameless, either. Arnav's heartfelt belief that Khushi will return to him is the only thing keeping him from falling apart: "She will come back, Nani, because she loves me more than her own life. And because I love her more than my own life." A pretty strange kind of love, indeed! Part of his atonement will be complete only when he confesses his misdeeds to the Guptas. One thing one can say about him: he has never stepped back from admitting the error of his ways once he knows he is wrong... getting him to accept that he is wrong, in the first place, is the difficult part!

Part 17 " What a dismal picture: the girl whose chirpiness and nonstop talk was her trademark now speaks only when spoken to! Despite Girija Devi's sympathy for and understanding of Khushi's plight, she doesn't force the issue but waits to learn what the truth is. One has no doubt that she will solve the problem'. Love the Girija Devi- Tiwariji equation: "You are going to eavesdrop on her phone conversation?" Tiwariji asked, scandalised. "How else can I know what is going on?" Girija Devi laughed, her infectious laughter bringing a twinkle in Tiwariji's reluctant eyes. "Pagli kahin ki!" Tiwariji exclaimed as he moved away to check on the rice. "You are worse than the children!" "Achha? Don't think I don't know that you give small children peanut candy and jalebi through the small window at the corner, just as you used to give me when I was a child!" "Hhmmmpppfff!" Tiwariji snorted... so, their friendship is a longstanding one, with touches of a father-daughter relationship... or is it that of a benevolent uncle? Girija Devi is like an inquisitive kid, wanting to know everything about everyone... of course, she has only Khushi's best interests at heart. Her sneaky manner of getting at the truth would have made the shrewd businessman, Arnav, proud. Khushi telling everyone that she is happy is such a fib, because not only does she miss her Arnavji, she misses her extended family too. Girija Devi is right about Khushi being an orphan because, in the past, her family " the Guptas and the Raizadas " turned their backs on her when she needed them most. At the same time her question, "But how can you be an orphan when you have so many people who love you?", makes Khushi face the fact that they do love her and want her back within their fold. It is up to Khushi to decide whether that has any bearing on her decision.

Part 18 " Arnav losing his appetite is understandable, given that he misses his wife desperately and that she isn't around to pester him about his meals. Her very essence has permeated his being and his life to such an extent that he is nothing without her: He turned his head to look at her pillow. He pulled it into his arms and hugged it, trying to sleep... As he buried his face in its softness, a tear left his eyes, fell on the pillow, and got absorbed in the fabric... the image of the hitherto seemingly invulnerable Arnav shedding tears of loss and pain wrenches one's heart... while one might want him to suffer for what he did to Khushi, such instances of his vulnerability makes one empathise with him. "Khushi...?" his voice carried his eagerness to the girl listening to him, far away from him... suggests not only the pain of their separation but also their love and yearning for each other. Their night-time phone conversations are gradually becoming a ritual that helps soothe their sore hearts, giving them the strength to go on. Khushi needs the distance to evaluate her life, but the sad reality is that neither she nor Arnav is happy away from the other. She imagining herself cocooned within the warmth of her husband's arms and only thus managing to fall asleep is poignant yet beautiful.

Girija Devi's investigative techniques might make her Manorama Baand's bosom pal! It is touching to see how both Arnav and Khushi surround themselves with things that remind each of the other. She is quick to come to his defence despite the family feeling that he deserves their anger. Manorama is right in saying that Khushi knew what kind of a man Arnav was, so expecting to behave differently after marriage is silly. [That may be so, but Khushi has every right to expect Arnav to treat her as a human being and with respect.] Concur with Mami as to what price such love when both the lovers are suffering due to this separation... wouldn't it be better to be together and work on their relationship rather than apart and miserable? Both claim to be fine but neither is... they are only punishing themselves, in the long run... Arnav won't reveal his pain to Khushi for fear of causing her pain and unwittingly influencing her decision to return... he doesn't want her to return on those terms... she should do so of her own free will, without any outside influence or interference. Whether he likes it or not, that's not to be as there are quite a few well-wishers who are trying to expedite a rapprochement.

Part 19 " Endearing how Khushi's antics that once irritated Arnav are now the very memories that bring a smile to his lips and solace to his heart! Having found herself in a miserable spot in RM, she had tried to make the best of it! He can't help but applaud her resilience... it bolsters his hope of her return. He is deluged by remorse on coming across the detailed list of the amounts she owed him: again and again, he accused her of being money-minded... the reality is that she was going to pay him back every dime! Arnav is soothed by the thought that even when away from him Khushi is keeping tabs on him... no wonder he is sure of her love and also that she would return to him some day. The finance manager almost swallowed his dentures... funny! Arnav breaks his own rule against having cell phones on during meetings... not only that, he also excuses himself from the meeting so he could speak to his wife... the personal holds greater sway over him than the professional! Khushi almost giving him the third degree about his lunch and Arnav indulging her with his answers is quite moving. Lovely to see him tease her gently about her 100 ways to irk Arnav Singh Raizada?' Those attempts only served to bring the warring couple closer. Despite their anger at Arnav, the family just wants him to be happy... seeing him laughing heartily after so many days, Akash leaves him undisturbed so he can spend some more time with Khushi. Arnav's husky promise to her to love her a 100 different ways is adorable... he seems all set to give The Kamasutra a run for its money! No wonder a blushing Khushi beat a hasty retreat. "Khushi, I miss you so much. So much. It is like I have been cut in to two." Arnav no longer has any qualms about revealing what's in his heart, whereas the reverse seems to have happened Khushi: despite her avowal that she misses him desperately, she is still not ready to return to him. When things get too close for comfort, she flees pretext of having some chores to complete... remember Arnav and his video conferencing? Girija playing devil's advocate is a treat to watch... any accusation of cruelty against Arnav brings Khushi to his defence, so why can't she forgive him? "But if you don't use this love, of what use is it?" A very pertinent question put by Girija Devi! Each claims to love the other to distraction... what price such love when neither can enjoy it or their togetherness? Sacrificing oneself for love may sound good in stories but real life is different. Living apart is only going to give them pain and it will be for nothing... when they have found a love that means so much to both, they shouldn't waste time on petty things such as ego and the need to settle scores. Very few are blessed with such love and companionship and Arnav and Khushi should enjoy every bit of it... live life to the fullest and make use of every opportunity given, rather than taking decisions that might leave one with regrets in the future! Girija Devi warns Khushi against getting so bogged down by feelings of being wronged that she misses out on the happiness and love that is already hers... after all it is Khushi who has to live with whatever decisions she makes. Girija Devi is a truly inspirational figure... despite knowing of her husband's impending death, she doesn't decry her fate but spends whatever time she had with him making happy memories... so, after her husband's death she has no regrets or bitterness. Glad that she doesn't preach to Khushi but leaves the final decision to her!