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Part A
Just loved it. You are exceed my expectation each time and I have high ones from you...the flash back always interlinking the past with the present ...each with a significance, the past should never be taken for granted, it all comes back...and here is the perfect example...
Arnav excited with his new laptop finding his old PC redundant, called it a khatara,but the moment it is in Khushi's possession he gets annoyed and irritated that of all people she has it...and then he justifies it by saying it is 'MINE" and what is his stays his...
I love how back in the present, Khushi a bit conscious of the saree, rather its non existent blouse that she wants to back out but is not sure how do having given her word... Lovei the saree...it was gorgeous!
I love how she tries to get out of it and how when she cannot get through to him ...I sense he knew she would try to get out of going seeing the blouse and this was just his tactic...she sees the ladies and comes up with a plan...where they stop her from going...love that little stunt she tries with them... little does she know they will be the ones to encourage her the most...which is what happens and their happiness knows no limits when the learn she is going with Arnav and of course the information is updated to Anjali promptly...These women I tell you, love them!
Love his thoughts when he sees her, a advert for a complexion cream! Perfect analogy!! I have felt this on numerous occasions...
Loved how she is confused about his behaviour, having gotten used to the attention and some amount of comfort with his touch, there were some touches that felt different and some times that she felt his behaviour different, still trying to get used to that, his kiss in the afternoon, they seem to indicate something that she was unable to comprehend not having had too much experience in this matter...the only time she tried to befriend a boy had left her with a bitter experience that she did not try again...and experience being with none other than Arnav...
Love their coffee dates. Her sitting in the front in the car...but not used to his flirting and his compliments...still perturbed by those...
Loved how he insists on dropping her to work and once she agrees he teases her that she should really learn to say no!!! Haaw!!!
Love how he cannot resist the urge and gives in to temptation to touch her. Now on to part B
Part B
Have I said this before? You are a master craftsman and your craft (writing) is magical...nothing short of genius...
Part B captured his anger, his jealousy and his possessive so adequately ...her innocence and her emotions so brilliantly...
Form his emotions seeing her with another man, loved how your wrote that portion when he searches for her and all he sees is green...Khushi inability to understand why he reacted the way he does, upset with his reaction and subsequently his anger and the way he pulls her away in anger and more...refusing to talk to him, his justification it was honest and simple he was angry, he did not like what he saw..
I loved how she recalls his words about how she needs to learn to say no, causing her to smile while being asked to dance with Jeff...that was a nice touch. His impact on her visible!
Loved she diffuses his anger by her silence...and he unable to bear her silence almost demands that she not remain so...
Loved how tuned they are to each others feelings. She hurt by his behaviour wondering how he could talk to her in front of anyone like he did after all they have come such a long way and now she considers him a friend...but Khushi does not realise the depth of his feelings...and I loved how he shares clearly he does not like sharing what is his...that flashback about his computer ...fits so well here...and ironically those feelings are connected to her in the past and now...fantastic., the clarity with which you have etched your characters is mind-blowing...every action, words and feeling in the past playing such an important part in the future and she is still in the centre of it, but the situations and the reasons different...
Loved the Akaash and La conversation, a brother who can not bear his sister's unhappiness willing to do anything for her...reminds me of Anjali and Arnav from the show...
Back to Khushi who in an effort to rectify the situation after he says you could have asked me to dance you came with me and her assumptions that he does not dance..puts on the music and asks him to dance just as they were and where they were...the music floating in the air from the car...
The way she guides him and dance they do...loved the way your described the entire scene, her placing his hands on her so sweetly and innocently unaware of what she is doing to him...his feelings at the way her saree pallu falls on her arms covering her arm...it was a visual treat...I could hear the music and the see them dance...the way he drapes it around her waist...very sensual !
Her waist, her eyes and his touch...both bound by the obvious attractions...his proximity and his gestures affecting her as well...the temptation of her lips calling out to him...and do they or do they not...? Z...I am so glad I can just go to the next update to find out...
It was so perfect...!
Edited by vandana.sagar - 12 years ago
Jhanak
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