Love Knows No Reason - Story So Far

Chapter Five

Nidhi looks wordlessly at the barely concealed worried expressions of her baba and dadi bua. CV continues to run his hand over her forehead gently: Beta..yeh kya karne jaarahi thi? Ek pal keliye bhi nahi socha ki tumhe kuch hojaata toh humsab ka kya haal hota? (He grips her palm between both of his drawing her attention to both her hands which were filled with the intricate mehendi design. To her right palm which had the letter R inscribed in the centre.) Nidhi..aadmi ka jeena marna humaare haath mein nahi hota. You are a doctor and all you can do is try your best to save the human life. Yeh toh abhi sirf shuruvaad hain Nidhi. You can't get let the death of every patient affect you like this.

DB hastily wipes her eyes: Mein toh kehti hoon Yog ab bus..bahut hogaya yeh dactari..Rohan se shaadi ke baad bachchi apna ghar basaayegi aur apni grihasti sambhalegi.

CV stalls his bua and locks his eyes with his daughter: Nidhi..vaada karo mujhse..promise me that you will NEVER EVER contemplate something like this ever again. Apne maa ki kasam khaake bolo.

Nidhi wets her dry parched lips: Vaada karti hoon baba. I will never ever do something like this again. Maa ki kasam. (Her eyes take in her surroundings before coming back to her baba.) Baba..Rohan kahaa hain?

CV: I think he went out to get some fresh air. (He gets up) Hum jaake usko bhejte hain. He is holding it together barely by a thread.

Nidhi looks at her father's retreating figure: Baba..(He turns back) I am sorry. Really sorry. Mujhe aisa nahi karna chahiye tha. Aapki bahaadur beti aaj kamzor padgayi. It won't happen again.

Nidhi had been doing the hospital duty that day when Dr Pankaj had informed her that the dean's mother was not well and that sir was in the OT. She didn't think twice before getting the address and rushing to her car. She hadn't even taken time to collect the case file from the admin. Upon reaching the two storied bungalow, she had rushed inside as soon as the maid opened the door. A quick check revealed an irregular heart beat and high blood pressure. The maid had said that memsaab started feeling dizzy and had almost collapsed in the bathroom. She had taken one of her clammy hands in hers. "Ma'am..how are you feeling now?" Dull expressionless eyes had stared back at her. Quickly gathering information from the maid that sir's mother had been suffering from what is commonly termed as a nervous breakdown, she administered the required medication. Nidhi had sat beside her and started talking. Her witty remarks and banter had the other woman relaxing and soon smiling. The tense panicked look had ebbed and taking that chance, Nidhi had forced her to have her lunch by tempting her with hare chane ki kari with methi mutiya. "Aapko pata hain ma'am..I could not even pronounce the name of the dish until I was almost 10 years old. Taste karna toh door ki baat thi." Ashutosh's mother had looked at her eye roll and had softly giggled as if unable to help herself.

Even as she sighed in relief, the thump thump of her heart signalled his presence within the vicinity and sure enough in the next moment, he had stood there shooting what could only be described as an angry glare at her. She had been unable to meet his eye and made a move to pick up her bag and leave only to have his mother say: "You're back? You needn't have rushed this way! Nidhi and I were having a great time! She even made me Hare Chane ki kari with methi mutha. Apparently it is a recipe that has been in their family for generations. It was quite wonderful!" (She turned to Nidhi.) "Why don't you get Ashutosh some, beta...he loves spicy food!"

Left with no choice, she made her way to the kitchen hoping and dreading that he would follow her. She didn't know what it was that she was feeling for him. What IS it? Attraction? Crush? Lust? Love?..No..it can't be love, can it? She loved Rohan. Her thoughts short circuited at the sound of his deep sarcastic voice.

"So, this was the plan. To enter my home and prove to my mother what an ideal daughter-in-law you'd make! Must say you are smarter than I thought you were!"

The plate she had been holding dropped back on the counter with a clatter as her entire body jerked in reaction to that frontal stab. She had taken a step back but in the next instant was roughly hauled into his arms and before she could draw a breath his lips were on hers devouring her with ruthless precision. That's all it had taken for her. Everything inside her rose up to meet him..instantaneous and eager, hungry and desperate. Some animal instinct in her had morphed out of the hurt and pain and the need that had been growing and swallowing her whole ever since that night in Delhi. She melted, her knees giving way as she grabbed his shoulders with hard fingers. Thoughts spiralled into nothingness as her senses took over. "This..you..feel this?" His long fingers had spread over her bottom, holding her high and tight as he dragged his mouth from hers and rained hot kisses across her throat. Her neck had arched back under the weight of those brief, hard kisses that brought her body to tingling restlessness. She felt hot all over and empty..craving his warmth and hardness against her..in her, as if her life depended on it. She should hate it..fear it..despise it..despise HERSELF. Instead she had felt glorious. It had felt like a victory..until his next words sunk into her.

"This is all we have lady! I told you the score and you accepted it. I still want you..there is no denying that. But THIS is the ONLY thing I want from you. Got it?"

She had given him a jerky nod but been saved from further conversation with the arrival of the maid who had gone to the near by pharmacy. With a hasty farewell to his mother, she had left the house as if all the hounds of hell were after her.

The next day, a surgery had been scheduled for which she had to be the scrub. No one who looked at her in the OT in her scrubs and face mask would have known the amount of energy and determination it had taken for her to remain completely impassive and professional. But her facial muscles had visibly relaxed when Ashutosh had exited the OT as her eyes drank in his departing back. She quickly set about shifting the patient to the ICU and just as he was being moved from the stretcher to the bed, he had suffered an unexpected cardiac arrest. She had screamed for the cardiologist and started the CPR and mouth to mouth until she was roughly pushed aside by the senior resident cardiologist who took over and was quickly followed by Ashutosh. But no amount of skill could save him.

Nidhi had felt the seething presence of Ashutosh as the formalities were taken care of and the second they were out of hearing shout of the family and relatives, he had turned his wrath on her, uncaring of the staff and doctors who were present and making no pretense of NOT listening. "What the HELL did you think you were doing Dr Nidhi Verma? Don't you know the basics of how a patient should be shifted to the ICU after a brain surgery? Why didn't have the cardiologist with you during the time? Confidence in a doctor is good..but YOU! You are so over confident that you have become cocky. What you did was not just careless..it was plain stupid."

And it went on and on until he had fairly accused her of killing the patient. But she had been unable to respond or even look up at him. All she kept seeing was the man's desperate eyes as he had struggled to breathe..the light in them slowing dimming before getting completely extinguished. There was no doubt that she had taken the death very hard but tried her best to regroup after a pragmatic kind hearted lecture from Dr Mehra. Her leave started from the next day and the wedding preparations had been full on. She got through the haldi ceremony in a dazed state of mind and with dadi bua fussing over her and in general the whole family pampering her. Anji had kept stealing concerned glances at her but faced with Nidhi's wall of silence, she was helpless to do anything except watch. All her friends and close colleagues from KGH had come to attend the mehendi function carrying a huge bouquet of flowers and a gift voucher of an obscenely large amount of one lakh rupees. Her baba had been stunned to say the least.

"Aap sab log aaye mujhe sach much bahut khushi hue. Lekin yeh toh.."

Priyanka, her colleague hadn't allowed him to complete the sentence: Arre uncleji aise kaise hum apne dost ko yuhi sasural jaane dete? Aur phir aapko pata hain? We pooled the money as per the KGH tradition, thinking we would get the gift depending on the total amount. But when we asked our dean Dr Ashutosh for his contribution, he asked us what the total amount from all of us was. Humne bata diya. (Her eyes had gone round and wide with wonder.) You know what he did? He gave a cheque equalling that amount. Ek hi jhatke mein amount double hogaya. We didn't know what Nidhi would want so got her the voucher.

Nidhi bit through her lip to stop her instinctive cry of pain and horror. She had known always that she didn't matter to him..that she was just one among the many who passed through his life. But to actually contribute to her wedding gift..with double the amount..was he paying her for the services rendered? That thought had her running up to her room and banging the door shut before she completely broke down in front of the whole world.

But one needs to be lucky to cry one's heart out and luck had not been with her. Her phone had rung in that exact moment and after a swift intake of breath she had answered it: Hello?

Rohan's slightly rough loving voice reached out to her: Hey Nidhi..mehendi lag gayi dono haathon mein? (Nidhi had looked at her palm and mumbled a hmmm.) Yeh dadi bua ka bhi ajeeb rules and regulations hain yaar. She said we are not supposed to meet until the jaymala. Let me know how the colour has turned out, ok? (He had given a chuckle) Suna hain agar rang gehra ho toh tumhaara pati tumse bahut pyaar karega. Oh..pati ke naam se yaad aaya. We talked about everything except the most important thing. (Again her reply had been hmmm?) Kya hua? Koi hain kya waha pe? Achcha ok. I wanted to ask about protection. Are you going to take care of it or do you want me to?

She had slid down the door in a hunch with her head on her knees. Horror, guilt, shame, pain smothered her until she couldn't breathe. Her voice had become hoarse as if she had been screaming at the top of her lungs: Ro..han!

But he had taken that as blushing shyness and laughed: Hey, meri doctarni sahiba sharmarahi hain? Wow! How I wish I could see you now. Achcha ok..for now I will take care of it. Baad ki baat baad mein sochte hain. My friends are calling me. Bye sweetheart.

Their long time cook and all in one, Chote Sarkar had looked at her in surprise when she made her way out: Bibiji..aapka toh ghar se baahar jaana manaa hain. Where are you going? Dadi buaji ne dekhliya toh..

The sound of soft footfalls alerts her to the presence of another person in the room. She turns her head to look at her childhood friend..sweetheart and fiance: Rohan!

Chapter Six

Should he or should he not?

That had been the thought overriding all other on the day of her mehndi.

After that brief and yet fiery interlude in his kitchen, they had never been alone again. He had not slept that night, haunted by images of those pain soaked eyes. Not to mention the raging hunger that their brief encounter had roused in him again. It had been dormant, lying in wait just below the surface, waiting for that one spark to ignite it to a raging fire. He had set out to prove a point to her but had done himself no favours in the process. He had tossed and turned all through the night, before giving up the pretence and going for a punishing eight kilometre run at dawn.

It did not help matters that he had had a surgery scheduled for that afternoon. Even worse, Nidhi had been pencilled in to assist him. He could not even ask for her to be shifted out though. He had known that there was whispered speculation going around about him and Nidhi. Clearly one of the doctors, who had been with them in Delhi, had been squealing on them. He cared a damn about his own reputation. The girl was to be married though. She did not need the added pressure of blatant gossip at work!

It had been a relatively simple surgery, the likes of which he had performed by the dozen. He had asked for the patient to be shifted to the post operative ICU and had left to remove his scrubs. Just as he was rinsing his hands, there had been a code blue alert. He had literally run to the ICU on learning that the patient had suffered an unexpected cardiac arrest. The cardiologist had already been on site. Together, they had struggled for close to an hour to revive him before they had had no choice but to give up. Coming on top of everything else, that had been the proverbial last straw. Once the formalities had been dispensed with, he had torn into the team, wanting to know who had accompanied the patient from the OT to the ICU. When Nidhi had confessed in a low voice that she had gone along, it was like something had cut loose from within. He had given her the dressing down of a lifetime, practically implicating her carelessness for the loss. He had known fully well that he was going overboard, that what had happened was completely unexpected and that she was in no way to blame. Yet, once he had gotten started, he had not been able to stop. She had maintained a stoic silence throughout, her shoulders hunched and her head bowed. Once he had run out of steam, he had stalked off, unmindful of Dr Mehta's almost contemptuous look.

Another sleepless night had followed. It had become a routine by then. He had recognized that he had been completely out of line. He had allowed his personal frustrations and a sense of guilt over the loss of the patient to spill over and she'd had to bear the brunt of his fury. She had not been guilty on either occasion, both when she had rushed to his mother's bedside and with the patient they had lost! Both times, she had performed her duty as a doctor with utmost care and concern. It was not her fault that he was seeing ghosts where there were none. The ghosts were of his making and not hers! He had decided to go and apologize to her the next day, a public apology to set right the wrong he had done to her. Whatever their complications, he had no business letting it affect work!

When he had asked for her, he'd been told that she was on leave. She had taken a fortnight off for her wedding. He'd felt anger swelling within him once again that she had not seen fit to inform him of the same. His assistant had had to remind him that he was the one to sign her leave application more than three weeks ago. A fact that had clearly slipped his mind in the light of all that had followed since.

He had been restless all day, prowling around the corridors like a bear with a sore paw, ready to snap off the head of the first unfortunate soul that dared to approach him. He wondered now wherefrom the junior doctors had found the courage to come to him. They had no choice probably, since time was running out! They had trooped into his room after a tentative knock. He had nodded curtly when they had broached the topic of Nidhi's wedding gift. The tradition was for the staff to pool in resources to buy a collective gift on behalf of the hospital. They had collected a sum of Rs 50,000/- already and wanted to know what his contribution was going to be. They looked at him fearfully as they asked this. What he did not know was that there had been a heated debate over the appropriateness of asking him even. But leaving him out would make things glaringly obvious as well and so, they had come. Ashutosh closed his eyes and thought for a moment before rummaging into his attach and getting out his cheque book. Their eyes had rounded in wonder when they saw the figure he had made out the cheque for. It was the equal of what had already been collected.

"She is one of our finest doctors. She deserves the best that we can give her. Make sure you give it to her!"

They had nodded in unison and rushed out.

There, he had made some amends. He had endorsed her credentials as a good doctor. He had been wondering if he should call her on the phone and apologize to her. However, given their history, it might not be the most appropriate thing to do.

He had waited to see if the doctors would report back to him on the gift issue. It had not seemed appropriate to ask anyone how she had responded to his gesture. No one had come to see him though. Should he go ahead and call her anyway, apologize for his harsh behaviour and tell her that he wished her all happiness? Should he or should he not

A scheduled surgery had thankfully offered him respite from his thoughts.

Until he had heard of her attempted suicide that is!

What had she been thinking? Why had she attempted to wilfully end her life? Her ongoing wedding festivities had seemed like indication that she was both mature and sensible. That she'd known that a long term future was not worth compromising over fleeting lust, no matter how glorious!

For the first time, the drive was not helping. His mind was as crowded with questions as it had been when he had started off. If it was even possible, the questions had multiplied to a point where his head was just not large enough to contain them all. He could feel them weighing him down as they clamoured for answers!

Giving up on the effort, he turned around and drove back home!

After a quick wash, he walked into his mother's room. He was used to a listless face, empty and expressionless eyes. What he saw stunned him though!

She was livid and her eyes burned with rage at the sight of him!

What the hell had happened?

Had the attendant done something wrong?

He looked at her in askance but she shook her head almost imperceptibly.

He went and sat next to her and put his hand over hers.

"Maa, all well today?"

"Sushila, can you please leave the room? I need to speak to my son in private!"

The attendant exited the room quickly, closing the door behind her.

"Maa, what happened? You seem real upset? Did Sister Sushila do something?"

She looked at him with contempt.

"What did you do to her?"

Ashutosh was genuinely confused now. What was she talking about?

"Do to whom? What are you talking about?"

"I thought I was the patient here, Ashu. Clearly, you are the one in need of a cure!"

"Maa, will you please stop talking in riddles! What is this about?"

"Fine then! What did you do to Nidhi? Why did that girl try to commit suicide?"

He was flabbergasted. How the hell did she know?

His shock turned to anger just as suddenly.

Why was she blaming him now?

"Maa, how do you know about Nidhi?"

"That hardly matters. But since you asked, Sushila had called the hospital to speak to the physio. He told her!"

The bloody grapevine!

"So, why are you blaming me for it? What do I have to do with what she did anyway?"

"You tell me! I am the one asking questions here. You may be a great doctor to the world but you are still my son!"

"Maa, what has gotten into you? This has nothing to do with us!"

She took hold of his face with surprisingly strong hands.

"Look into my eyes and tell me you had nothing to do with it!"

He closed his eyes and swore silently.

"Maa, please'let it go!"

"Let what go? That you almost caused a woman to die?"

"Maa, cut out the dramatics. I cannot be held responsible for what some idiot woman chooses to do!"

"You can't escape moral responsibility when said idiot woman is clearly in love with you!"

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A part of him desperately wanted to go in and see her. Another part quailed at the thought, terrified at how things would never be the same after this! In one stroke, she had changed life as they had known it forever. Gone were the knobbly kneed Rohan and the pigtailed Nidhi who had sworn eternal friendship at the age of three, the seventeen year old high school sweethearts who had shared their first dance on prom night, or the twenty three year olds who clasped their hands together tightly as they declared to their parents that they wanted to marry each other! The reality of her suicide attempt made the past seem like one big lie! For the truth was the here and the now! And the truth was that she had preferred to die rather than be married to him! The truth was that her act had carved his heart out of his chest, leaving an empty hollow in its place. A hollow that still throbbed and hurt and bled!

Colonel Verma placed his hand on his shoulder comfortingly and gently urged him towards the door.

She had asked for him, had wanted to see him. Rohan could never deny Nidhi what she wanted.

He pushed the door open and walked in slowly.

She was alerted to his presence by the creaking door and the sound of his footsteps.

Yet, she did not turn immediately to see him. Her entire body stiffened and he could see her hands grip the sheet on the bed tight. Then, as if willing herself to, she slowly turned to face him.

He went up to her and sat on the chair near her bed.

He saw the tremor that coursed through her body and the trembling of her lips.

A lone tear trickled out from the corner of her eye.

Rohan could not bear it anymore.

He picked up the hand that lay closest to him. How cold it was! He warmed it within the confines of his own before gently lifting it to his lips.

"It's okay, baby!"

Nidhi turned to him then. The words came out in a gush!

"No Rohan, it is not okay'it never will be!"

The last word came out in a half sob.

Her anguish tore at his heart. What was bothering Nidhi so much? What was she beating herself up over?

"Baby, I know losing a patient must have been tough..and the pressures of the wedding rituals'I think you probably just freaked out'buckled under the stress..happens all the time'don't worry'it will all be fine!"

He was not sure if his explanation convinced even him! But his eyes begged her to say that this was exactly what the problem was!

"I spent that weekend with him!"

Rohan froze altogether. His eyes looked at her in a mixture of shock and disbelief.

"I am sorry, Rohan. I should have told you this right after I came back from Delhi. I was wrong in keeping this from you. I was wrong in letting things get to this point even. I was wrong in shaming my family and yours thus. I should have called this all off right then. But I did not know how to! I did not know how to tell you that I had betrayed you, that I had been with another man, that I could not marry you after this!"

Large sobs were shaking her body by now.

He felt like somebody had gut punched him! He felt the bile rising to his throat and was afraid that he would embarrass himself. He felt consumed by white hot rage and wanted to rant and rave at the unfairness of her act! He wanted to ask her what was lacking in their relationship, what was it that she had to look for in another man. He wanted to wreak havoc all round, to break everything in sight. He wanted to do squeeze the life out of someone, himself for his gullibility and her for her betrayal.

Tears clouded his eyes even as emotion clogged his throat. He wanted to preserve something of his dignity, to walk out on her and the situation and never come face to face with either ever again.

He got up and turned to leave. He had taken a step towards the door when her whispered words sliced through the rage that enveloped him!

"Please forgive me, Rohan. I did not know how to tell you. We have been each other's lifeline through every disappointment, every hurt that we have known all these years! How then was I to break your heart myself?"

It was like somebody had thrown a pail of cold water on his face. Suddenly the rage receded to be replaced by immense pity and sorrow. The broken woman lying on that bed was his Nidhi. Whatever her crime, he could not abandon her like that. Not when he had been her strength for so long. Not when she was clearly broken and needed help in putting the pieces together. She needed a friend, she needed him!

He turned around and saw her huddled up on the bed, crying like her heart would break. Suddenly, nothing else mattered. All that he could think of was that he had to soothe her pain. Just like the time he kissed her booboos to make her feel better! Just like she had kissed his! They were friends who loved each other to death for twenty two years, the romantic love had happened just about five years ago after all!

He slumped down on the chair again.

"Nidhi, stop crying! Please, you'll make yourself even more ill! Nidhi, I would be lying if I said it did not matter. It hurts and hurts real bad. But what hurts more is the thought that you thought I'd be better off seeing you dead than knowing this truth! Where would we, your family and I, have found the strength to go on if you had died? How could you do this to us, how could you do this to me? How could you do this to the love we shared?"

He took in a deep breath in an effort to calm his raging emotions just a bit. She seemed to make an effort to gather herself and her crying slowed down to intermittent sobs.

He closed his eyes and pressed his knuckles hard to them. He thought deep and hard and then, he knew what he had to do!

He opened his eyes and looked straight into hers.

"Nidhi, these things happen. People make mistakes. I understand that but then, what we share is too precious to thrown away over a single transgression!"

Once the words started coming, he found himself unable to stop. He picked up her hand again and held it tight.

"Let us try and put it behind us and move on, Nidhi! Just one thing, promise never to keep anything from me ever again! Not even if you think it will kill me! And no trying to kill yourself ever again. You'll kill me for sure that way!"

Tears were trickling down both their cheeks by now.

"It's okay. We will get past this. We love each other too much to let go of this. You'll see, we'll get past this, we'll be fine, we will!"

He desperately tried to reassure them both!

She stopped the flow of words by placing her hand over his mouth.

She looked deeply into his eyes, and he saw an emotion he could not put a name to!

With a choked cry, she threw herself into his arms.

They clung on to each other for dear life!

They did not know when the door opened and when Anjie walked in!

Not until Anjie said cheerily,

"So, is the wedding back on?"

Chapter Nine

She hadn't lied to Rohan. Their friendship was way too precious and had no place for lying. She loved him and would love him always. But he needs someone who can give him an unconditional love not someone who has tied herself to him out of guilt or misplaced loyalty. Loyalty meant faithfulness and allegiance. It was synonymous to fidelity. What changed then? Had she been so comfortable in her relationship with Rohan that she had failed to contemplate that there would be something more? Something that would make her break the comfort zone that she had been enveloped in and step into the pastures unknown? She would have gone on to make a happy life with him maybe, if she had not known or met this wild tiger who made her no promises but had given her one chance to reach out and pet him. She had not been able to resist and had got it right in someway probably because that one time became twice and then the whole weekend. Every step of the way he made sure she knew the score and still she had not been able to step back from the temptation of having that tiger purr under her touch. She knew she was not the first and probably would not be the last but for that short period he had been hers.

It wouldn't have been fair to both Rohan and herself to build a life together when she kept seeing someone else's face every time she closed her eyes. He had initially fascinated her but now? Now she can't in all honesty name what she felt for HIM love, the soft gentle emotion that resembled a still silent river..soothing one's soul with its presence and quenching one's thirst with its pure sweet water. No. This is something else entirely. It's the emotion on the name of which sane sensible people like her committed and endured stupidities and insanities, even atrocities. This is far superior to love, more encompassing and profound and unswerving, yet steeped in the most insatiable of carnal desires. It didn't quench her thirst. It made her thirsty and hungry where a perpetually parched throat and pangs of hunger had become her constant companions. Nothing had prepared her for the unbridled reality that is Dr Ashutosh Mathur. She would sink or swim, the choice was hers to make but she had no intention or right to pull her forver best friend along with her.

Nidhi's walk is brisk as she makes her way to the OPD, still lost in her thoughts when her casual glance falls on Rohan who is coming from the opposite direction. It is the first time she is seeing him after that day in the hospital when she had told him that the wedding was off. Both of them stop mid way and just stare at each other. She tries to smile as he continues to give her an intense look. She walks towards him and stops with a distance of about one foot separating them.

"Hi Rohan."

Rohan nods. "Hi Nidhi."

"Kaise ho?"

He shrugs. "Teek hoon. You tell me. Looks like you are back to work. How are you feeling? Weakness all gone?"

Nidhi nods. "Back to normal and back to work." Her gaze slides away before once again coming up to meet him. "Tum yahaa kaise?"

After a moment's hesitation, he nods his head towards the corridor. "I came to meet him and tell him that no matter what, my friend will always have me beside her."

Nidhi blinks a little taken aback but somehow not at all surprised. Rohan had always been way too protective of her. It's a good feeling..knowing that you had your friend beside you despite the fact that you broke his heart in one shot. She smiles a little. "Thank you Rohan." He shrugs. "But its ok. I am fine and I can handle myself without falling apart again." He gives her a sceptical look as she continues. "No. Really. I mean it. Too many things happened in too little time and I kind of snapped that day. But I assure you, it won't be repeated. Stay away from all this Rohan. I will take care of myself. Please. Trust me."

Rohan continues to look into her eyes all through this before smiling a little and taking a step back. "You have changed. You seem..I don't know..more matured somehow."

Nidhi smiles a little and shrugs. "May be I have grown up. Its high time any way."

The rest of what either of them wanted to say gets cut off as Anji almost ploughs into Rohan from behind.

"Ouch! Oh..I am sorry. I wanted to stop you.." She gives Nidhi a hasty look before turning back to Rohan. "Have you come just now or..?"

Rohan steadies Anji by holding her arm. "It's ok. Relax. I have come, I have met and she knows that I have met. See you later."

He turns and walks away. After giving Nidhi a hasty look of apology, Anji hurries after him. "Rohan! Rohan suno toh..Oh God! This guy!"

Nidhi grins for the first time after a long time, at the picture of Anji trying to keep up with Rohan in her high heels.

"Dr Nidhi?"

She turns to look at the senior surgeon, Dr Rao. "Yes sir?"

"The surgery I told you about? Remember?" Nidhi nods. "Well, looks like it has been preponed to this afternoon. Apparently Dr Ashutosh will not be in town tomorrow and the next day. He will be leaving soon after the surgery. And once he gets back, the campaign inauguration preparations begin, right?"

"Yes sir. It's about women's reproductive health awareness. But Dr Mehra was saying the chief guest is yet to be decided."

Dr Rao clears his throat. "Well, I think the decision has been made by the dean. So..(some more throat clearing) Anyway, I am off to the surgery now. Please make sure my assistant reschedules the OPD. That dunderhead is not picking up his phone."

"Sure sir. Will do that."

He gives a nod and walks away.

Next day morning Nidhi comes into the hall after freshening up. CS peeps out from the kitchen.

"Good morning bibiji. Chai laau kya?"

"Haan CS. Thank you."

Nidhi sits at the dining table and browses through the newspaper. Her eyes, fingers and heart come to a stand still at the headline staring at her in the entertainment section.

Are the Bollywood beauty and the handsome doctor picking up where they left off?

It was followed by a picture of grinning Ashutosh and laughing Mallika Kapoor, one of the Bollywood's reigning actress. He had his arm around her waist in a one arm armed hug and she was looking up at him with wide adoring eyes.

"Bibiji..chai."

CS places the cup beside her and leaves. Nidhi locks her jaw and continues to stare at the picture as if trying to numb herself from the pain that is skewering her heart. She should not be feeling like this. She should not be hurt or surprised even. After all, he never promised her anything, did he? All they had was a weekend romance. No. Not romance. Romance involved courting, wooing. What they had was just raw sex. A whole weekend of raw sex. A scene from the past dances before her eyes.

He had laughed at her eagerness for anything and everything that he taught her and finally let her touch him the way she had been craving to. It had been even more mind blowing than having him doing things to her. Hunger had spiralled from her gut as she had flicked her tongue over him and with a cry of urgency she had fallen on him and took all she could of him. He had caressed her head and face as he let her feast on him. She had been lost in sensation, in his groans of enjoyment when his hand twisted in her hair and stopped her. His breath had been shuddering out, his voice a deep rumble.

"Don't mistake this for more than what it is Nidhi. What we have now does exist. No two ways. And it will burn out soon enough." He had clutched her tighter around him as his eyes glittered down at her. "And I intend to mine its depths and savour its every last spark. Make no mistake about that either."

But the words had barely registered as the feel and flavour of his satin and steel eddied in her system. If it meant more to her than plain screwing, then that was her problem. Not his. Her feelings for him were not and have never been his problem.

"Nidhi beta?"

Nidhi quickly schools her features before facing her baba.

"Ji baba?"

CV comes and sits beside his daughter. "Rohan's parents were here yesterday. They had come to say that they don't blame you or Rohan for your decision..that for them, you were and always would be their daughter."

Nidhi swallows and blinks to clear her vision. "Ji. I know baba."

"Nidhi, ever since you were a child, I gave you complete freedom. Be it in your career or friends. And I never regretted it. Not once. You always were an open book to me. But now I feel that book has been closed and sealed. I am not able to read you any more." She opens her mouth but he raises his hand and stop her. "I am not saying it's a good thing or a bad thing. I am just making a point. Yes, I was angry with you when you did what you did and backed out of the marriage. A marriage of your own choice and a partner of your own choosing. But after his parents spoke to me, what Padminiji said made a lot of sense. I realized that closed book or an open one, I should not stop trusting you now. There is some strong reason behind this. I know you don't want to share it with me right now but remember that I am here and will be willing to listen without passing any judgements once you think the time is right to share what's in your heart with me.

Nidhi leans in and rests her head on her baba's shoulder. "Thank you baba. I love you."

CV brushes her hair away from her forehead. "Love you too beta. You have hospital today?"

"Yes. I have to leave in an hour or so."

Her cell phone beeps with an incoming sms. "U ok?"

So he has seen the newspaper too. Worry wart! She types her reply. "Yes. Don't worry. Am fine."

CV looks at the phone. "Who is it beta?"

Nidhi clicks the send button. "Rohan baba. He just wants to know how I am doing."

"You guys have started talking again?"

"Yes baba. I met him yesterday."

CV gets up. "Am glad you didn't lose your friend amidst of all this beta. Friends are too precious." He pats her head and leaves.

Nidhi looks at the crumpled newspaper in her fist and adds softly. "I know baba."

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The day of the campaign inauguration dawns warm and bright. Hoardings, colourful tents and huge banners and posters explaining the importance of a woman's health and reproductive care are placed in strategic places all over KGH. The news that the whole campaign is going to be inaugurated by Mallika Kapoor has attracted the media and the local fans associations like crazy bees to a honey pot. And the increased security personnel have begun to make the inpatients, their families and also the doctors impatient and irritable. The male interns and even a few of the PG students from departments not related to OBG had taken an off from the college just to have a look at the Bollywood Diva.

"Hey Nidhi!"

Nidhi turns to look at her classmate Rihaan and waits for him to catch up with her. "Hi Rihaan!"

Rihaan is practically hopping from one foot to another. "Guess what! I just met the big boss and he approved of my leave for today."

"That's good Rihaan. Good luck in getting an autograph from Mallika."

Rihaan rubs his palms in obvious excitement. "That's not all Nidhi! He said he would try and make an introduction before she leaves. After all, he is the one who can do it, right? Considering.." He stumbles to a stop as if realizing what he was saying to whom.

Before she could add that it was ok and that she was not going to go in search of the nearest well, another familiar voice reaches her. It is Ashutosh's mother. Rihaan bids her a quick farewell and walks away.

"Nidhi?"

Nidhi tries hard and succeeds in making her expression extremely neutral. "Good morning Ma'am. How are you?"

"I am fine beta. How are you?"

"I am good. Have you come to meet sir? I think he is in.."

"No Nidhi. I came to have a look at the inauguration." She gives a sad rueful smile. "I have been cut off from the world for God knows how long. Now I have decided its time I step back into the land of living."

This time Nidhi's smile is more genuine, even joyful. "That's great ma'am. You need any help? The function is in the grounds between the college and the hospital. Do you want me to.."

"Ma! You are here already? Awesome! Come Mallika."

Nidhi's face pales a little as she takes a step back. "See you around ma'am. Nice meeting you again. Welcome back to the land of living."

She takes a deep breath before turning and facing the couple walking towards her. Her frozen eyes meet his cold indifferent ones for a few heart-stopping seconds before falling on the woman beside him. She had always thought the beauty of the actress was only partly natural and the rest was the magic of the cosmetics. But no. This close, it was clear that she truly is a stunningly beautiful woman with her fair complexion and hour glass figure. To top it all off, she had a genuine warm smile on her lips. Nidhi's ice glazed eyes once again meet that Ashutosh's. This time around though, he doesn't even bother giving her a second look as he extends his hand to his mother.

"Come ma. You do know Mallika, right?"

Mallika's tinkling voice reaches her as she starts to walk away from the trio. "Namaste Maaji."

Is there anything this woman was NOT good at? Apparently not, Nidhi realizes later on as she hears Mallika's speech at the inauguration function. She is no martyr and hence had stayed back at KGH making sure the patients in the ward are not overtly agitated or disturbed by all the chaos outside. But still, Mallika's voiced reached her, at least part of her speech did, as did the thundering applause that preceded it.

"Youth reproductive and sexual health has to be made a priority for policy-makers, programmers and researchers in India. Mainly due to our country's large adolescent population and its high rates of child marriage and early childbearing. India has one of the highest rates of child marriage in the world, a practice that often results in early childbearing and thus serious reproductive health problems. India also has one of the world's highest prevalence rates of iron-deficiency anemia among women, including adolescents."

Oh most definitely not an airhead of any kind. Dr Ashutosh Mathur didn't pick empty airheads. Guess that did say something about me too, Nidhi thought ruefully.

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The shrill ringing of her cell phone wakes Nidhi up. She rubs her eyes and looks at the wall clock. 4.30 am. A quick look at the caller id and her frown deepens. Dr Ashutosh! Why would he..? At this hour..?

"Hello?"

A mere twenty minutes later, her car screeches to a halt in front of his house.