Part 21
"Make it quick and short, Arnav. I don't have much time" Khushi said after they had comfortably settled into their chairs in an aloof corner of the public cafe.
"What's the big hurry? We shall order something. I don't want this conversation to be rushed. Have got a lot to say" Arnav stated as a matter of fact, earning a puzzled look from Khushi.
"What would you like to order, Sir?" The waiter asked, reaching to their table.
"One Black Coffee for me and a cup of tea?" Arnav said while looking at Khushi.
"No. Cold Coffee for me" Khushi replied
"Okay, one Cold Coffee and a black coffee" Arnav said and the waiter noted down their order.
"You like cold coffee? If my memory serves me right, in college days you always preferred tea" Arnav asked after the waiter left them.
"Things have changed, Arnav and so have I. You know it" Khushi replied slowly.
"Indeed" was all Arnav could reply.
"So what have you got to say?" Khushi asked him after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence.
"I shouldn't have done that to you. I regret.." he answered, looking straight into her eyes.
"DONE WHAT?" Khushi could feel her blood gaining speed.
"You know, Khushi" he replied, guilt hanging heavy in his voice, this time his gaze fixed on everything but her.
"Yes, I know. But I want to hear it from you. Tell me, Arnav. What is it that you shouldn't have done?" Khushi edged him on. She wanted to hear it from the same man who had reduced her into a girl afraid of dreams. Because it were the flashes of that night which haunted her dreams. The night when she had lost her everything to the man sitting before her. Her virginity, Her trust, and above all her love.
"I..shouldn't'..I..Khushi please" he couldn't bring himself to say the words. The pain will be too much if he'll speak out his sins.
"Why, Arnav? Is it too hard to accept your mistakes? Speak up, Arnav. I want to hear it" Khushi knew she wouldn't be able to fight back the tears for long which were threatening to come out.
"I..I shouldn't have used you for fulfilling my lust, Khushi. I shouldn't have taken you to my bed and done what I did. I shouldn't have left you lying there alone in that bedroom. I shouldn't have broken your trust" He finally let out those words. But speaking of his own sins, once again made him feel that he was beast then. A man unworthy to be loved.
But now when he had said all this, his heart felt light. Seemed like heavy downpours of rain have washed off all the grime.
For Khushi, she couldn't decide her reaction. Should she be happy that Arnav was finally admitting his mistake? Or should she worry about her uncertain future? In between her thoughts she felt a warm touch on her hands and looked down.
Arnav was holding her hand. Before she could try to pull back her hand, Arnav blurted out the words she exactly wanted to hear.
"I am sorry, Khushi. I really am. Sorry in a way like I have never been before. I know it will be very selfish of me to ask this, but I can't live anymore with this. Khushi, Can you please forgive me?" Arnav said it from the depth of his heart. She could feel it in his words. He truly was sorry.
But the question was will she able to forgive him? Was it possible for her? In these past three years, she had buried her love somewhere very deep in her heart and had hated him every day. Can a sorry from him remove those thick layers of pain which she had experienced every time when people had asked her about being in a relationship?
Arnav could see that she was deep in thoughts, processing his words. She hadn't even noticed that the waiter had brought their order and left again. Her cold coffee was getting hot and his hot coffee cold.
He dared not to disturb her although with every passing second he was growing more and more restless. He knew that now life wouldn't be the same without her. He couldn't afford losing her again. She'll have to forgive him or his life will be a living hell. Though he too was attending his own school of thoughts, his eyes were strictly fixed on her face, trying to read her expressions. After endless seconds of thoughts, Khushi spoke.
"Arnav.. After you left for California, for weeks I couldn't bring myself to believe that you really had left me. I used to think that any second you'll call me and say that all that was a big joke. Or any moment you'll come and hug me from behind saying that you are sorry. But nothing of that sort happened. It took me nearly a month to realize that you have actually done that to me. MY Arnav had abandoned me. You know, I was shattered and broken. But with time, I again learnt to smile, to live. With the help of Abhay."
Arnav flinched at the mention of Abhay's name and that didn't go unnoticed by Khushi, but she continued anyway.
"I was a happy girl again and now you are once again back in my life. You never spared one single chance to insult me, to break my determination to fight you, but I lived through all this."
"Khushi, And for the very same reason I am sorry. I know, so far I have been nothing but Satan in your life. But don't I deserve a second chance? One more chance to prove to you that I have changed? You have changed me, Khushi. The day you set your steps in my office, I have been unnerved and restless. I thought it was your ignorance towards me which was unsettling me, but now I know it was guilt. Remorse. Khushi, please give me a chance to heal the scars that I have given you. Forgive me. Please" Arnav poured his heart before her, his eyes wet.
"I forgive you, Arnav." Khushi said, very slowly, and stood up.
Then and there, Arnav felt like he had been awarded with the mightiest glory of the world. His happiness knew no bounds. And in the sudden excitement, he took her into a bone crashing hug.
"Thank you so much, Khushi. You know not, what you have given me. I..Khushi.. I Lov...'" and she pushed him away.
"This is a public place, Arnav. Mind your distance. I don't want people to make assumptions about us" she said, her cheeks red with anger.
"Sorry. I just couldn't stop myself. The happiness was too much to behold" he replied truthfully.
"Okay. I need to leave now. It's already very late. Abhay must be wondering about my whereabouts." She said and walked out of the cafe.
"Khushi..wait" Arnav called after her and quickly paid the bill.
By the time he reached her, she was already in the lift. He hurried after her and got in the lift before the door could close.
"What now?" she asked.
"I am not done yet. Remember what I had said when we arrived here? I have got a lot to say." He replied.
"But I don't have time"
"Khushi, just ten minutes"
"No" she said and tried to press the ground floor button but in the mean time, Arnav pressed the button for the top floor.
"Arnav, you are not behaving yourself. I have forgiven you but that doesn't mean you are free to behave in any manner you like" Khushi retorted angrily.
"You are forcing me into this behaviour. I just need ten mins, Khushi"
"fine" she said, crossing her hands on her chest and waited for the lift to reach it's destination.
The lift stopped on terrace and both of them stepped out. Since it was dark outside, the terrace was lit with fairy lights and was deserted.
"Now finish whatever you have got to say"
"Thanks. For accepting my sorry and forgiving the biggest mistake I ever made" he started on a serious note.
"You have already said this" Khushi replied. God knows for what reason she was feeling that something strange was on it's way.
"Yes I have. But did I say that, I want to give ourselves one more chance?"
"Not really funny. You suck at jokes, Arnav"
"I am not joking. I am serious like never before. I don't want to end everything we have."
"Every thing? Will you please explain me what do we have? Except that damned expired Boss-Employee office relationship?" Khushi was next to screaming. She was already emotionally drained and now Arnav was not making the things easy for her.
"Relax, Khushi. Please listen to me. Can't be we friends? I don't want to lose your friendship"
"You can't lose a thing you never had in the first place. I was never your friend, Arnav. And I never will be"
"Khushi..You can't.."
"Yes, I can. Friendship is based on trust and I don't have the slightest trust in you. I am sorry, Arnav but we can't be friends. Never. From now on, we'll be strangers to each other"
"Why dammit?" Arnav grabbed her by her elbows, all his patience evaporating.
"Don't you get this single point that now I can't imagine myself without you? I need you Dammit..! I so need you, Khushi. Please be with me" He begged her rudely.
"I can't" She pulled herself away from him, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"I don't trust you. I don't trust you" she screamed and ran out, leaving him all alone on that terrace,shattered, alone, rejected.
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