Rules Of Attraction#3 Chapter 37 02/10 Pg73 NEW! - Page 42

One sultry afternoon, after Khushi sat fiddling with her new set of spectacles to counter the incessant headaches, after their visit to an optical store, she observed Arnav rake his hand repeatedly through his hair as he talked to Dr Kennedy on the phone. Then the doorbell rang, and she was greeted by her parents' smiling faces. Was it just her, or did her parents seem older; more weary than the last time she had seen them. Standing there in her mother's arms content and elated, she felt a quiet stirring of the storm of days that had passed them by. Her life had altered so radically, it was difficult for her to essentially highlight one momentous day or a certain turning point. For those few minutes, insufflating the scent of the starched cotton that was synonymous to her mother's clothes, tantamount to her childhood, all she wanted was to run back in time, back to the jaunty days when she was the five year old scrawny girl.

"I'm going to cook you kakori kebabs today!" Khushi smiling through her tears sensed a surge of glee as she trailed behind her mother into the kitchen, exactly like the little girl who used to follow her Amma around the kitchen, finding unadulterated joy in helping her dice onions and mix colourful masalas.

*

"I'm not going to tell her anything, as of now! There...there is no guarantee that she will recover fully and I don't want to give her false hope uncle." Arnav sighed heavily after disclosing the details of his discussion with Kennedy. Continuing the medication prescribed to her for a week, a surgery would follow, in hopes of eradicating the tumor and its remnants completely. If all went well, she had a chance at a full recovery. Not exactly as stoic as his daughter's husband sitting in front of him, Shashi broke down into a half hysterical laugh streaked with a steady flow of tears. This news was a small beacon of hope for the man who had struggled for years to come to terms with the fact that his little girl was facing a terminal disease. Arnav found himself smiling too, a while later, dredging up a little joy this news provided into their austere surroundings. "Thank you for everything son," Shashi held Arnav's hand almost reverently, beseeching him before Arnav could interrupt. "All the treatment facilities, these...these medicines, I wouldn't have been able to afford them ever Arnav. It's because of you, that she's still standing there in the kitchen with her mother, laughing, and breathing." Arnav on the other hand, shook his head and looking in the direction of the kitchen spoke with a voice that trembled more or less throughout and Shashi for the first time saw cracks through the poised deportment of his son-in-law. "You are wrong uncle. All this...I do only for myself. I am too selfish you see. I love her too much. So much that it scares me every minute to wonder what would happen if I don't have her with me tomorrow. The fact that I would never get to see her face, to see her dancing about in the house, the thought is killing. I'm going to give her everything she needs. Everything she wants, every place she wants to visit, I'll take her there. Every dress she likes, I want to buy it for her. Because you know, every time she smiles, I smile with her. And the day she leaves, I can never be happy again. It wouldn't be possible. So everything I do uncle, it's all for me. All a desperate attempt to live my life till the last day I will have her next to me."

*

After the four people sitting across each other in front of the table laden with plates of kebabs and roomali rotis, finished their meal, Khushi stood up suddenly and ran to her room, only to be back within minutes with a camera. "I don't know when we'll all be together like this, next! So, a picture everyone?" As heart-breaking as the request's framework was, they all complied. They all sported brilliant, toothy smiles, all barring Arnav who clutched Khushi's hand as she sat on her mother's lap with a dismal look clouding his face.

When her parents were about to leave, Khushi followed them back to where there car was parked alone, wanting to bring to words all the things she ever wanted them to know. But upon reaching the car, there were only few lines she could manage. "I should have said these things long before. But I didn't, not properly. I want to thank you for baking me your fruit cake every year on my birthday. Buying me a new set of school-uniform along with Payal, even if I didn't need one. Making me feel loved, making me belong to someplace when I had no one in the world to turn to." Khushi surprised herself by keeping her voice steady, right till the end. Her Amma on the other hand cried slightly before taking her leave. And as Khushi stood alone in the driveway, watching the sedan get smaller and smaller, she mused sadly that of all the things she should have said, she had forgotten to tell her how much she loved them, or the fact that if anyone then mentioned the word mother to her, only Amma's face would come to her mind.

*

Sombre eyes, brimming with an unpleasant shade of brown greeted her when she entered the house. Walking towards him, she stood close enough for her fingers to play with the lapels of his shirt as she waited for him to speak. "I'm angry with you." He declared plainly ignoring the sight of her painted fingernails grazing the base of his throat. He knew she wasn't going to look up anytime soon, as she stepped in closer sliding her arms around his waist and rested her face against him. "Why did it feel like you were saying goodbye to everyone tonight? Don't do it Khushi; you know how much I hate it. How much it scares me..." He was barely whispering then, crying openly as he placed a trail of kisses down her neck. He felt his hands pulling her closer. He felt the warmth of her breasts pressing against him as they somehow made it to the bed. Familiar heat rose up against her neck, as his mouth came upon hers before dawdling over every inch of her face. And every night, every morning, whenever they were in-between the bed sheets, it would be the same. He would explore every mole, every freckle etched to her skin and memorise the curves with his fingertips. She, these days wanted nothing more than to be with him, all the time. She wanted the taste of his lips on hers every time they touched; she wanted his roaming fingers on her hungry skin every time they were in close proximity, thawing the disastrous catalogue of the bleak, icy break of dawn.

In the midst of the night, when Khushi felt sure Arnav was asleep, she told him that he had taught her a lot of things; not only about life, but also that it was perfectly okay, natural to feel extraordinary about someone. It was a poor attempt at a goodbye.

What she didn't realize, was that Arnav was awake; hoping that a week after, she would still be lying next to him, naked and sprawled all over him, showering ephemeral kisses across his face when she thought he was asleep.

*

Song: Some Of Us - Starsailor