Concerning My Fan Fics

Hey,

I've been writing fan fics here for more than a year and i recently changed my format. I would like to know which format makes it easier to read, and which you would prefer. Here are two examples from two of my ffs that are over:

Format 1

It's the first day of High School and Kripa is roaming through the big school. Everywhere she goes, she sees people staring at her.

K- Y are these ppl staring at me?😕 And where the hell is Jackie????? 😡

Just then someone comes behind her and taps her on her back.

Ja- HEY!!! How was your summer? 😎

K- OMG! I am so freaking pissed at you! Where the hell were u! 😡

Ja- dude! Calm down! I was looking for you too! 😕

K- sry sry…its just that I am freaked out cuz I don't know where my classroom is and all these older ppl are starting at me like I am some kind of a weirdo.

Ja- LOL 😆

K- UGH! How inconsiderate can u be! Gosh! 😭

Ja- I am sorry. But y do u get so stressed out? Take a chill pill and ask someone. 😛

Just then, someone taps Kripa on the back.

Person- xcuse me?

Kripa turns around and bumps into a hot Indian guy with the most beautiful eyes.

Person- Hi! I was wondering if you knew where Mrs. Weinstein's homeroom is?

K- Um um um….. 😳

Person- Do you know or not?

Just then Jackie comes up from behind her.

Ja- Hi. I am Jackie.

Person- uh😕...hi. Do you know where Mrs. Weinstien is?

Ja- Sry, I have Mrs. Duffy. 😊

Person- O.

Then the person shifts his gaze to the girl with long, beautiful hair.

Person- Who's your homeroom teacher?

Kripa comes back to earth and realizes that he's talking to her.

K- O…um I have…

She looks down at her schedule.

K- Um…I don't know how to say it. I think it's Mrs….

Just then, a girl comes up behind the person and kisses his cheeks and drags him away.

But, before the person leaves he gives Kripa a quick glance, mouths the word sorry and leaves.

Kripa doesn't respond and just looks at his back as he walks away.

She's still looking and looking and looking. Finally Jackie gets irritated and drags her away.

Ja- CMON! We have to find our classes!

K- (Dreamily) wowwwww…..

Ja- Watever...lets go.

Kripa then comes back to earth and notices that they were passing room number 42.

K- Hey Jackie! What's your HR number again?

Jackie glances down at her schedule.

Ja- Umm….o here it is….um its room #42.

k- We just passed that!

Ja- Shit! Ok well, how about we go in there and see if Mrs. Duffy can tell us where Mrs. Weinstein is?

K- kk. Let's go,

They walked into the class and went up to the teacher. The teacher smiled at Jackie but when her eyes fell on Kripa, she gave her an evil look. She then looked back at Jackie and told her where the room was.

Ja & K- Thanx!

Mrs. Duffy- Your welcome- (she says this only to Jackie and totally ignores Kripa).

K- Ok Jackie! See u later!

Ja- wait! Don't u want me to leave u till your class?

K- No its ok! Ill manage.

Saying this, Kripa leaves and heads to her classroom. The minute she steps inside her eyes fall on a cluster of girls around 3 boys. They had her back to Kripa so she couldn't see their faces.

All of a sudden they all turn around stare at her. She gets the shock of her life! IT WAS HIM! IT WAS THE HOT INDIAN GUY! Her stomach got butterflies and she smiled sheepishly.

A few second passed and she saw that everyone in the class was staring at her…..she got embarrass and her cheeks became flushed. She turned around and looked right into……

[[High School]]

Format 2

Road Trip

Chapter 14

"Kripa I loved you since the day I saw you. You took my breath away. But at that time, you hated me and I was going out with Mishti. Later on, you didn't even talk to me and you hooked up with that ass. But now, im free to do what I have wanted to do for so long."

"What?" Kripa asked. Angad leaned over close.

"This" he whispered and kissed her tenderly.

That was what Kripa was expecting Angad to say to her. But all he had really said was, "We're reaching Mishti's in ten minutes." How unromantic was that?!

It was as if Angad and Kripa were strangers. As if Angad hadn't just kissed her in front of her boyfriend…wait her ex-boyfriend. As if he hadn't just beat the sh** about Prithvi because he was an as* to Kripa.

Kripa hated this feeling. She longed to reach over and kiss him. She watched his hands as they smoothly maneuvered the steering wheel. She longed to hold them. His hair flopped in the wind, and a stray lock fell on his eye. Oh how she wished she could push it back in place and kiss his forehead. This was driving her crazy.

She was about to say something but stopped herself. Why would she say anything? He was capable to talk as well. He was the guy and to Kripa, guys always made the first move.

*****

Ten minutes later, Kripa was standing outside of Mishti's apartment. Well, it was going to be her apartment as well; but right now she couldn't think of it as hers. Angad was getting the suitcases from the car, and had very quickly told her to go meet Mishti. She had just nodded, annoyed and confused at his actions.

The door opened abruptly and there stood in all her glory, Mishti.

"AAHH!! KRIPA!! OMG HOW ARE YOU?! OMG LIL SIS!! I MISSED YOU!! HOW ARE MOM AND DAD??" she shrieked and hugged Kripa.

"God Mishti, Chill will ya?" Angad said, coming up behind Kripa. Kripa turned and looked at him.

"Ha-ha. Hey Angu. How are you darling?" She stepped over and hugged him. Angad hugged her back.

"Im good Mishti. You?" He asked.

"Ahh the usual. Clubs, dancing, margaritas; and a few occasional classes in-between."

Kripa gasped. On the phone Mishti always told her and her parents that she was really busy because of all the homework and lectures she had to attend to. Mishti saw Kripa's expression and laughed.

"Kripa babe, chill. I was joking. Im not sucha wild child...im still maintaining a B average in most of my classes. Except, unlike you, I actually have fun."

Before Kripa could retort, Angad stepped in.

"Mishti, Kripa isn't a good two shoes…believe me, I know all to well!" He said and went inside the house. Kripa smiled while Mishti just looked confused.

*****

Ten minutes later, Kripa, Angad, and Mishti all sat in the living room. They had ordered pizza and wings. After eating they had chilled for a while watching TV. Most of the sound in the room came from either the TV or Mishti, while Angad and Kripa just sat silently.

Mishti, who was never known to be the most keen person, didn't notice; until finally Kripa got disturbed by Angad's silence and Mishti's annoying voice.

"I think im going to go change. Be back in a bit."

"Okay!" Mishti replied happily, "Call me if you need anything!"

Kripa nodded and headed inside. She signed. What was his problem? God! She started to rummage inside her suitcase and pulled out a pair of her favorite sweats and a Hollister t-shirt. She put on her normal earrings-which were huge hoops- and just put on some foundation and lip gloss. She wasn't in the mood to fuss with anything else. And who would notice anyways? Angad? Ya right. He didn't even look at her properly. She sighed and headed to the living room.

But as she got there, she was surprised to see Mishti perched on his lap, and whispering something in his ear in a very seductive manner. She felt like her heart had shattered in a million little pieces and no body could ever put it together again. There was, after all, no one quite like Angad. Even though she knew he would never be with her, she would always have a special place in her heart.

She ran to her room and made her self calm down. She felt like flinging herself at Angad, telling him how much she loved him. She felt like slapping her elder sister and telling her off. No, she wouldn't do that. She wasn't that kind of a girl. She had lost and that was it. Heck, she shouldn't even be complaining. It wasn't like it was the first time she had sacrificed or lost something to Mishti. The truth is the truth, she concluded. Mishti would always be the winner and she will always be the loser.

Kripa get a grip, she kept saying. Finally, after ten minutes, she braced herself, put on a bright smile, and headed to the living room. She looked and surprisingly, Angad was gone, and Mishti was sitting on the couch, watching TV.

"Mishti?"

Mishti turned and looked at her sister. "Hey sis. Cute shirt."

What was wrong with her?!

"Thanks. Where's Angad?" Kripa asked casually, as if he didn't make a difference to her.

Mishti signed. "He left. I asked him out to this party and he said no."

"WHAT?!" Kripa couldn't keep the happiness out of her voice. Mishti looked at her knowingly.

"Did something happen between the two of you?"

"NO! I mean, um, why do you ask?" Kripa asked cautiously.

"For the first time in my life, I've been turned down by a guy, no matter how hot or ugly he is."

"Oh" was all Kripa managed to get out.

"When I asked him, he just didn't say anything. Infact, he was expressionless. When I persisted, he just said he couldn't. I asked why and all he said was that he was in love with someone else."

Kripa felt a stab of jealousy. Who could she be? Or wait, maybe it's a he? Could it be possible that Angad's gay, and that's why he didn't try and take advantage of her? No! That thought was incredulous. When he had kissed her, she felt his soul. He was most definitely not gay.

"And guess what lil sis? When I asked who he was in love with, he said 'Someone who I've known forever. Since the time I started going out with you Mishti. "

Oh. My. God.

"And I got suspicious. Maybe it was Alisha, my BFF. She and I started hanging out when I was going out with Angad."

Good. She didn't know.

"But what totally told me who it was, was when he said that the girl he loved, liked tacos and kicked guys where it hurt."

O Crap!

"And that is how I found out that my ex-boyfriend and my current boy interest was in love with my sister."

Wow. He was in love with me. Angad Khanna was in love with me. Me, boring and studious Kripa Sharma. Me, not my hot sister, but Me.

"Mishti, Im so sor-"

But before Kripa could continue she cut her off.

"Hun, don't worry about it. Angad will always have a special place in my heart, but I know that I can move on. Infact, I think I have a date with a guy in my physics class tonight." She laughed at Kripa's amazed expression. "He's headed to the airport by the way. Go get him!" Mishti grabbed her purse, handed Kripa her car keys and a twenty dollar bill.

Kripa grabbed my purse as well, hugged her, and ran out the door. She sat in the car and put on the radio. [Please read the lyrics as they portray Kripa's new found emotions- and in your mind change the 'she' to 'he' =) ].

There are certain people you just keep coming back to
She is right in front of you
You begin to wonder could you find a better one
Compared to her now she's in question

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there

Looking for the right one you line up the world to find
Where no questions cross your mind
But she won't keep on waiting for you without a doubt
Much longer for you to sort it out

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it,
Maybe it's all you're running from,
Perfection will not come

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes
We'd never know what's wrong without the pain
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you've started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it
Maybe it's all you're running from
Perfection will not come

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you had her maybe you lost her to another
To another…

She sang along to the song and within minutes reached the airport. She rushed inside and ran to the Information Desk.

"Excuse me Miss?" she said to the lady sitting behind the desk.

"Hello. How can I help you?"

"I would like to know if a person by the name Angad Khanna bought a ticket or checked in."

The lady frowned. "Im sorry I cannot provide you with that information. Millions of people buy tickets every day and thus we don't keep a record. The airline through which the person is traveling might know however."

"I don't know that either." Kripa said, her eyes brimming with tears. Who knew where Angad was heading. For all she knew, he might be going to Alaska!

The lady noticed Kripa's sad expression and softened. "If you can perhaps describe how he looked, then maybe I can help."

"Oh Thank You! He has black hair that turns brown when the sun hits it, and he has the dreamiest eyes in the world; brown with some copper spots. And he has full and soft looking lips. His cheekbones are high and are extenuated by-".

She was cut of by the lady.

"Honey, I need to know what he was wearing. I can see you're in love with him, but those details aren't helping."

Kripa blushed, realizing what she had said. "Oh um he was wearing dark jeans, with some holes in the knees. And um he was wearing a pink shirt with the Abercrombie logo on."

The lady thought for a minute. "O yes, I do remember him. He caught my eye- quite good looking I must say. He went to the Virgin Atlantic area. Would you like me to give you a map directing you to Virgin Atlantic?"

"Thank you soo much. You don't know how much you've helped me. Thank you so much! And don't worry about the map; I'm pretty sure I can find Virgin Atlantic".

"Ok honey. Good luck and best wishes from me!" The lady smiled at Kripa encouragingly.

Kripa walked around trying to find the Virgin Atlantic area. Finally she spotted the area and ran to the first available desk. All this time there had been many announcements that flights were boarding and taking off. Kripa hoped that whichever flight Angad was in didn't start boarding yet.

"Excuse me?" she said breathlessly.

The young employee turned and looked at her. "How can I assist you?"

"I would like to know if Angad Khanna checked-in?"

"Do you know what flight it is?"

"No I don't. Please help me! Its extremely important that I meet him right now. Please."

"Ok then. What was his name again?'

"Angad Khanna. A-N-G-A-D K-H-A-N-N-A."

The employee typed in the name and waited. Kripa was dying with every second that passed.

"Ahah! There he is. He bought a ticket today for a flight to London, I assume."

"Wonderful! Can you page him or something?"

"Unfortunately I can't. The flight is almost done boarding."

Oh no. This couldn't be happening.

"You could buy a ticket and meet him in there." Suggested the employee.

But Kripa had a fear of flying. She knew she couldn't go on a plane. She was about to turn on her heels and walk out of the airport, and perhaps walk out of Angad's life for good. But a small voice stopped her. It was because of this fear that she spent time with Angad and took this road trip with him. It was because of this fear that she finally saw Prithvi for what he really was. She couldn't let this fear make her lose her love

"Yes please. Can I have a ticket that's near Angad Khanna's seat?"

The employee smiled. "How about a window seat?"

"I don't care. Just near his is all."

"Ok then. How about a window seat right next to him?"

"Yes! Thank you so much. You don't know how much you've helped me."

The employee just smiled and gave Kripa her ticket. Kripa smiled and ran to gate number six. She went inside and saw that there were two or three people left. Phew, at least she wasn't the only late comer.

After going through security check and everything else, Kripa boarded the plane. She was about to barf, but she saw Angad's hair. She almost ran to him, but decided against it. She walked quickly and slowed down when she was near his seat. Casually she looked down and saw him closing his eyes, tears running down his cheeks. She almost cried looking at him like this. Out of all the years she had known him, she hadn't seen him cry.

"Excuse me? May I sit here?" She asked.

He looked up and did a double take. Reaching out, he softly touched her arm, as if to see if she was real or just another imaginary. When he saw she was real, he gasped.

"Kripa! What are you doing here?"

Kripa shrugged and sat down in the window seat next to him.

"I wanted to go to London and meet my cousin. Do you have a problem with that?"

"No. But…"

Before he could continue, Kripa reached over and kissed him. At first he was surprised and didn't react, making Kripa wonder if he wasn't into her like a girlfriend. As she was about to pull apart, he cupped her cheeks and pulled her closer, deepening the kiss.

They kissed for a long time like they had never kissed before. They had to stop when people started giving them looks. Angad smiled at Kripa.

"I can't believe you came all the way here to meet me!"

"I love you idiot." Kripa said.

"I love you too Krips." He replied teasingly. Surprisingly she just hugged him when he said Krips.

"You have no idea how much I wanted to hear that name."

"I never knew that you were a hopeless romantic!" Angad teased.

She hit his arm lightly. "You have no idea."

Just then the pilot made an announcement. "We will be taking off in two minutes. Please buckle you seatbelts and watch the safety demonstrations."

Kripa gasped. Angad held her closer.

"Babe, you sure you want to do this?"

Kripa nodded. It was now or never.

"Yes I do. I have to face it sooner or later right? Why not face it with you right here by my side."

Angad laughed and hugged her. Just then Kripa's phone vibrated. She picked it up.

"Kripa?"

"Hey Mishti."

"What happened? Did you find Angad? Where are you?" Mishti asked.

"I found him and we're both sitting the plane heading to London."

"WHAT!? I thought that you were scared? Dude that phobia cost me many family vacations!" Mishti screamed.

"I still am, but I guess I gotta get over my fear. So that's what im doing."

"Im proud of you little sis. Good luck."

"Thanks. Do me a favor?" Kripa asked.

"Sure. What?"

"Tell Mom and Dad that im going to London to meet Ankit Bhaiya. Ok?" Kripa asked.

"Ok. Call me when you get there?"

"Sure."

"Say hi to Angad too. And good luck." Mishti asked.

"I will. Thanks. And I mean it. Thanks for everything."

"No problem. That's why im here- to help me dorky lil sis!" laughed Mishti.
"Im soo not dorky. Ha-ha. Bye!"

"Bye"

After Mishti hung up, Kripa put on her seatbelt and braced herself. The plane started going down the runway and Kripa tightened her grip on Angad's arm. Just when the plane lifted, Angad kissed her. That kiss made her forget everything- she wasn't Kripa Sharma. She didn't have a phobia for flying, and she wasn't about to go halfway across the world. She was just a girl, hopelessly in love with the hottest guy in the world. And weirdly, he was in love with her too. She, Kripa Sharma, was finally happy being who she was always- herself; and she owed all this too the one Road Trip she took at the end of her senior year.

[[Road Trip - Last part]]

Plz focus on the format, and not the writing itself. Thank you. =)

format 2!! even though most of the time i am in a hurry and its easier to read wiht format 1 i think format 2 is better cuz its like more discriptive adn stuff so my votes goes to that one!!! and btw i just read that last part to road trip for like the third time and i still love it as if i was reading it for the first time, ill never get tired of it!! 😆 😆 😳

Originally posted by: candyprincess

i find format 2 better

K. thanx for voting!

Originally posted by: erier101

format 2!! even though most of the time i am in a hurry and its easier to read wiht format 1 i think format 2 is better cuz its like more discriptive adn stuff so my votes goes to that one!!! and btw i just read that last part to road trip for like the third time and i still love it as if i was reading it for the first time, ill never get tired of it!! 😆 😆 😳

K thanx for voting. lol thanx.😆 😳im glad u liked it that much. It was my fav ff tat i wrote so far. 😊

i like format 2!!!!! 😃

p.s. u should ALWAYS write in pink color, coz i LOVE pink!!!!! lol!!!

format 2 as it is more expressive...