here is sum info about divorce in india...lolz plz dont think i am totally pagal...i was just curious to know about all this.....i feel like fighting K and A's court case for them....or ekta make me the judge!😆😆
Divorce in India
The Law
All major religions have their own laws which govern divorces within their own community, and separate regulations exist regarding divorce in interfaith marriages.
Hindus, including Buddhists, Sikhs and Jains, are governed by the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955; Christians by the Indian Divorce Act, 1869; Parsis by the Parsi Marriage and Divorce Act, 1936; and Muslims by the Dissolution of Muslim Marriages Act, 1939, which provides the grounds on which women can obtain a divorce, and the uncodified civil law. Civil marriages and inter-community marriages and divorces are governed by the Special Marriage Act, 1956 (Kapur and Cossman 101).
Other community specific legislation includes the Native Converts' Marriage Dissolution Act, 1866 that allows a Hindu to appeal for a divorce if a spouse converts to Christianity (Virdi 36-37).
Grounds for Divorce
In most Western nations, there are approximately 16 distinct reasons for which divorces are granted. In India, however, only five main reasons are generally accepted as sufficient grounds for divorce (Choudhary 90).
Adultery.While no formal definition of adultery exists, it does have "a fairly established meaning in matrimonial law" (Diwan 171), namely "the voluntary sexual intercourse of a married man or woman with a person other than the offender's wife or husband" (Choudhary 91). While the law considers it valid grounds for either sex, adulterous women are "judged more harshly" than men (Kapur and Cossman 102). The various religious regulations a e not unanimous on this issue. The law regarding Hindus allows divorce to be granted on the grounds of infidelity of either husband or wife.
Desertion. The three main components of desertion are the "disruption of cohabitation, absence of just or reasonable cause and their combination throughout three years" before the abandoned spouse may petition for a divorce (Virdi 71). There also must be an obvious intent on the part of the offending spouse to remain permanently apart from the other. This statute also applies to cases in which a spouse has been heard from for at least seven years (Choudhary 91).
Cruelty. As with adultery, "the definition of the type of behavior that constitutes cruelty varies according to the gender of the petitioner" of the divorce. "Despite the fact that cruelty is often equally available to husbands and wives, the way in which the law is interpreted and applied suggests that women and men are evaluated by rather different standards" (Kapur and Cossman 105). This category includes both physical and mental abuse and neglect.
Impotency. This refers to the physical inability of the couple to consummate the marriage (Choudhary 91) or the refusal by one spouse to do so (Diwan 136). Some cases have established that sterility can be construed to mean non-consummation if the other partner is not aware of the condition before the marriage (Diwan 139).
Chronic Disease. Both mental and physical illnesses are included in this category, as well as sexually transmitted diseases (Choudhary 92). Not all religions recognize identical diseases as grounds for divorce.
Consequences of Divorce
Economic. There is great disparity between the economic ramifications of divorce between men and women. Men remain relatively unaffected while women, especially those with children, have difficulty "providing food, clothing and shelter for themselves and their children." Often a woman is not able to rely on her family for support because many parents "feel they have discharged their obligations to a daughter by arranging her marriage and providing a dowry." Dowries are not returned after a divorce. Also, due to the social stigma of divorce, women find it difficult to remarry and usually attempt to establish an independent household.
Social. While India feels that one should have the right to divorce, it is still a highly stigmatizing action. Women are looked upon more harshly than men in this regard. There continue to be segments of Indian society that feel divorce is never an option, regardless of how abusive or adulterous the husband may be which adds to the greater disapproval for women. A divorced woman often will return to her family, but may not be wholeheartedly welcomed. She puts, especially if she has children, an economic burden on her family and is often given lowly household tasks to perform. There is also the risk that a divorced woman's presence would ward off possible marriages for other daughters within the household. Unavoidably, the overall status of the family and household are lowered by having a divorcee living with amongst them. A woman's class and caste are a major factor in her acceptance back into society. Women from higher classes tend to have an easier time than middle or lower class women in returning to the social order after a divorce.
Predictors of divorce
There are a lot of factors that contribute to divorce . . . as many reasons for why it happens as there are theorists to theorize about it, and couples who experience it.
I don't think many couples enter marriage planning to become a divorce statistic. When couples make their vows to each other, few include the vow (or even the thought) "Until divorce do us part." Most couples hope that they will have a satisfying, if not passionate, long-term marriage. What happens then? Why do one-time seemingly happy couples end up in the offices of divorce lawyers and mediators?
We all know couples who fight like cats and dogs one minute, and the next seem to be happy with each other, only to go on to another unpleasant fight. Likewise, most know couples who never seem to fight, let alone discuss issues. Their relationship is always calm. Then there are those couples who talk to each other with great empathy, listening carefully to what each other says, reflecting and empathizing as they go. Which of these couples has the healthy marriage style? Which is more likely to end up in divorce?
The first couple have what he calls a "volatile marriage." They fight frequently and often with great intensity. What makes this couple different from some frequent fighters is that they actually get around to resolving their differences. A danger for volatile couples is if the bickering they engage in overwhelms the positive times.
The second couple are in the group called "avoidant." Most people would say that avoidance is bad, but research seems to show that avoidance is actually okay sometimes. These couples are conflict minimizers, choosing to make light of their differences rather than resolving them. Avoidant couples seem to appeal to their basic shared philosophy of marriage. "They reaffirm what they love and value in marriage, accentuate the positive, and accept the rest. In this way, they often end an unresolved discussion still feeling good about one another." (Gottman,1994).
The third couple fit the term "validating marriage." This group of couples are the ones that typically get labelled as having a "perfect marriage." Or at least it seems that way from the outside. These couples recognize conflicts, acknowledge differences openly and address them honestly and calmly before they degenerate into shouting matches. (Gottman, 1994b).
All three of these marriage types are considered to be satisfying/stable, even though they are very different. Each has its drawbacks, but couples in these marriages are unlikely to divorce. What is similar about them? They have a balance between positive and negative emotional interactions. Both Gottman and the Denver team have come up with the same ratio of 5:1. Couples need five positive interactions for every less than positive one.
It is a bit like the ph balance of soil. Just as plants need soil that is neither too acidic nor too alkaline, relationships need an environment that is conductive to their life. Marriages, in order to survive in a satisfying fashion, need "good moments of mutual pleasure, passion, humour, support, kindness, and generosity to outweigh (by 5:1) the bad moments of complaint, criticism, anger, disgust, contempt, defensiveness, and coldness."
4 patterns that hurt relationships
1. Escalation
Escalation is a process of one-up-manship. The difficulty with escalation is that in the course of hurling verbal weapons at each other, couples will often damage their relationship in a way that makes recovery difficult. If a fight escalates too far, couples really can get out of control in the nasty department and this is dangerous.
2. Invalidation
Invalidation is a pattern of put-downs, either subtle or direct in nature. Invalidation is caustic in a relationship because of the belligerence and contempt that are reflected. Invalidation is an attack on the character of one's partner, and it is never healthy. A subtle form of invalidation is holding back on due and expected praise. It can be made worse by injecting criticism where praise is due.
3. Withdrawal and avoidance
These are two different ways in which people seek to ignore or get out of important discussions. Withdrawal can be physical (leaving the room) or less obvious (getting quiet or shutting down.) Avoidance has the same goal, but the emphasis is on preventing the discussion from ever happening in the first place.
4. Negative interpretations
A negative interpretation is when one person (or both) consistently holds to the belief that the motives of their partner are more negative than is truly the case. These are inaccurate interpretations in a negative direction. Such interpretation, when ingrained, can become so powerful that it becomes impossible to penetrate.
lolz guys i know it's alot to read😳......sorry if it's really boring....i found it quite relevant to KA at the moment...but then again i'm craaaazy!!!😆😆
Mr And Mrs Parshuram
