Why is it that only girls have to go to... - Page 3

@Deebz Amma:- You've transferred almost 0.07Hz frequency(14 lines, f=1/t) thru your reply. Now I've to imprint it with higher amplitude of 219meters.(just as tsunami waves height from sea level).😳.

You all senior gang of this belongs to generation = 0(next to next) + 1(next to next)...n(infinite..).

I mean you fall in the category of "unique" generation!!

Originally posted by: ramasuresh78

agree fathimaji

its all destiny

my own sister is suffering from the torture of her in laws

her hubby is nuetral

she is annoyed by his behaviour

i was more tortured than her

she is now living separately with her hubby in mumbai

but iam with my in laws and enduring all sorts of insults

i must say i have got used to it

i just ignore if they say so

i have diverted my focus on spiritutality

which is helpin me a lot

acutally you must have found this comment contradictory to my earlier one

i stay with in laws , and iam proud to stay with them'

they have a secured feeling and i feel iam always guided and it makes the family run smoothly

thats why i said i have accepted whatever i am given

i feel proud because iam praised for not splitting the family

they have a secured feeling because iam ready to help them any time

iam guided, yes mistakes are made my any human being, if i do make any mistake i am given guidance and i accept if it is worth

its mutual understanding

give and take policy type of relation

Originally posted by: PadBear

I'll jump in here if I may.

In my Lankan heritage, it's the men who 'leave' their families and mix with the wife's side more. Reason being that the girls get land gifts and houses from their parents and usually take the first responsibility to look after parents too. At least this was the old way, now things are kind of all over the place. No one lives even in the same countries now.

Rama, your attitude is the only one that will work in that situation. This is why I also say that Sandy is not particularly affected by RM politics. She will rise above it always. She has decided to live life a certain way, and it's also the right way. If we don't let others affect us, they don't have the 'power' over us that they think they do. Bhabo has no chance. And Rama, you will have a blessed life, no matter what.

Ami, I have never been able to keep anything from my husband. But there are several unselfish and considerate women like Rama ( Rama, you are most welcome to call me amma) who try to spare the husband the stress of having to chose sides. I feel that minor things can be handled on your own but if you are feeling abused and it is affecting your mental or physical well being, it should be discussed with your husband. Sometimes we may be over reacting or misunderstanding in laws' words and the husbands may be able to put our minds at ease. If it is totally out of hand then it is their duty to intervene and resolve the issue. Again, it is a matter of trust between you and your in laws too. If you can talk about them, then they have every right to talk about you to him too and that can lead to conflict. Trust builds up in a marriage after being together for a while that will allow you to confide in him openly without fear of repercussions.

I have always believed in the concept that only one woman should have control over the kitchen. By that I mean if you are joint family I would prefer it like apartments, where each family has its privacy and help is also available when needed.

I am not sure what is meant here by "taking the kitchen politics to your husband". My hubby never has to be told what is going on in the house because he knows everything and when he does not like something that his mother tells me he always speaks to her about it before I can even think of this. I have never even thought of complaining to my husband about his mom, but she is a loving, kind lady. But ours was a love marriage, not arranged, so maybe this changes things a lot. I have seen arranged marriages where the husband was 'neutral' as you call it and didn't really care what was going on in the house and how his wife was affected and how much she suffered as long as nothing affected him and he had peace. This is very sad and I have seen such marriages falling apart after a few years... :/.