Hello shello forumwaasiyon! Hum phir se aagaye tum sab ka bheja-fry karne!😆 I got a huge response from you guys for my previous Gutter OS, so I'm backooo with another one!😃 This is also a spoof on what will happen in tomorrow's episode. Source: The precap (2%), SBS/SBB spoilers (2%), Spoiler pics (1%) and my very own Gutter Mind (95%)😆😆😆
Disclaimer: Not meant to hurt anybody's feelings. Only for laughing purposes😆
Enjoy!!!
What's gonna happen Tomorrow??
1st scene:
Scene opens to reveal the Siddiqui mansion, shouts are coming from the upper floor. Shireen has locked up herself in her room and is refusing to open up. Everyone is shouting from outside in their own ways to get her to open up.
Razia: Arre Shireen darwaza kholo! Tum jaisi akal ki andhi agar achaanak se serious ho gayi toh mujh jaisi shaitaan ka kya hoga? Aur agar tumne apne aap ko kuch kar liya toh main aur kisey apni ungli par nachaungi?!
Rashid: Shireen kya rahi ho? Tumne khud ko kuch karliya toh mujhpar faaltu ka shaq aur kaun karega?!
Ayaan: Ammi darwaza kholiye warna main darwaza tod doonga! Agar aap mar gayi toh duniya ke sabse stupid kasamein aur sazaa kaun dega mujhe?! Kuch toh sochiye?!
Inside the room, Shireen is ready with a knife to cut her wrist. But suddenly she notices something...
Meanwhile, Ayaan knocks the door down with a push and barges in to see what Shireen has been doing.
The camera focuses on the faces of each and every member of the house, registering varying degrees of shock, as they see Shireen calmly filing her nails...
1st scene ends.
2nd scene:
Scene opens to reveal the Khan mansion. Zoya's room is shown and she is back in her jeans and top again.
Zoya: Allah Miyan I still can't believe it!!! Jahapanah actually said something other than "Woh" and "Actually"!! Wow!!! Thank God script writers ne finally kuchh achhi change ki, warna viewers aur main toh unki jaan hi le lete! Woh "Woh" aur "Actually" kehte kehte thak gaye the aur main aur viewers sunte sunte!! And unhone mujhe "khoobsurat" bhi kaha! Am I dreaming?! Well isi baat pe ek sher arz hai:
"Woh" aur "Actually" mein jahan atki thi Jahapanah ki vocabulary,
Viewers ki gaali ke meherbani se unhone mujhe "khoobsurat" kaha finally!!
Shukriya, shukriya, shukriya!!!
I know! Main bed pe chadh ke thoda happy-dance kar leti hoon! Agar by-chance gir bhi gayi toh Jahapanah hawaijahaz ke speed se aake mujhe bacha lenge, chahe woh jahan kahi bhi ho! Aur hum logon ko ek unexpected Mitwa moment mil jayega! Oops! Mujhe toh yeh baat pata nahi honi chahiye, yeh to sirf TV ke bahar ke logon ko sunai deta hai...Dhat teri ki! Jo bhi ho, mujhe toh unki aankhon mein dekhne ka ek aur mauka mil jayega, hayee unki aankhein!!!
Arrey nahi! Yaad aaya! Mujhe toh aaj uss ek aankh wali chudail kaa pardafash karna hai! Main toh bhool hi gayi thi! Gaya unexpected Mitwa moment ka plan paani mein! Jaane do, aaj toh mujhe khush hona chahiye! Finally aaj us billi ka kaam ' tamaam! Naak mein dum karke rakha tha kameeni ne! Aaj toh uski khair nahi, sara din "Jammy", "Jammy" karke mere Jahapanah se chipakti rehti hai, fevicol kahinki! Aaj toh main uski band baja ke rahungi, script jaye bhaad mein! Oh yeah!!!
Zoya goes to Tanveer's room and enters.
Zoya: Tanveer? Lagta hai chudail bathroom gayi hai. Nahaane gayi hogi, kyunki yahan ke bathrooms mein toh toilets hain hi nahi! Mujhe hi pata hai ki main sara din kaise control karti hoon, no wonder Najma exam ke din bhi college hanste huye jaati hai aur Mr. Khan sara din office mein rehte hain. Ek minute, nahaane gayi hai toh lens nahi pehna hoga usne, achhaa mauka hai! Range aankh pakdungi usey! Idea! Magic se dhuwa phaila deti hoon, lens pehen ne ka mauka hi nahi milega! Ye lo, Abracadaabraa giligili chhooo!!!
Room is filled with smoke as Tanveer comes out of the bathroom and rubs her eyes to adjust to the smoke.
Zoya (gasps): Tanveer! Allah Miyan, toh tum ho woh patthar ki aankh wala shaks!
Tanveer: Haan! Main hi hoon Billo Rani! Waise tum kyun itna shock kha rahi ho, tumhe toh pata tha na?
Zoya: Arrey haan, par kya karoon, script mein hai na! Aur viewers ko toh nahi pata na ki mujhe pata hai, isiliye itna toh shock dikhana padega naa! Aur waise bhi, tumhari yeh chudail jaisi aankh koi pachaasvi baar bhi dekhega toh bhi shock kha jayega! Viewers se poochho, har doosre din Qubool Hai ke jagah third grade horror film dekhne ko milta hai, tumhari meherbaani se! Darr jaate hai bechaare! Waise tum bolo, yeh sab naatak kyun kar rahi thi??
Tanveer: Firse bolun?! Arrey Director sahab, pichhle teen mahino mein apni motives ka khulaasa kitni baar kiya hai maine pata hai aapko?! Ek hi sadi kahani kitni baar sunaoon?!
Zoya: Arrey par woh toh viewers ke liye tha! Mere liye kahan?! Ek baar mere liye bhi bol do! Please? Main tumhe doodh pilaungi, meri achhi billi, bolo na!
Tanveer: Milk! Yummy! Meow, meow! Theek hai bolti hoon! Woh mujhe na ek shauhar chahiye, jiske paas bohot saara paisa ho! Aur Asad ke alava yahan kaun hai?! Mujhe unse nikaah karna hai!!
Zoya: Le teri! Kameeni! Saari duniya mein aur koi paise wala aadmi nahi mila tujhe jo mere Jahapanah ke pichhe pad gayi! Aur woh bhi tujh jaisi billi se nikaah kyun karenge bhala?!
Tanveer: Main billi hoon toh woh bhi toh sher hain na! Cats and lions belong to the same family, nahi pata tumhe?!
Zoya: Haan par woh apni species ki sherni, yani mujhe chhodkar, doosre species se kyun inter-caste marriage karna chahenge haan?
Tanveer: Tumme aisa kya hai jo mujh mein nahi hain?
Zoya: Errr...do aankhein??
Tanveer: Uff! Woh chhodo! Yeh baat samajh lo Zoya, nikaah chahe woh tumse kyun na karein, suhaagraat mere sath hi manayege!
Zoya: Allah miyan! Tumhaari soch itni dur tak chali gayi Tanveer?! Kehne ko toh nikaah mein teen din hi baki hain par dikhate dikhate teen haftey kat jayengey! Aur tum mere Jahapanah ke saath suhagraat manane ki baat kar rahi ho, mere Mr.Khan ke saath! Sharam nahi aati, chudail kahinki! Ek aur baar yeh baat boli na, toh kaan ke nichey lagaungi ek, samjhi! Mr.Khan sirf mere hain samjhi! Sirf mere! Aur tu unke saath karegi bhi kya?! Jaake apne liye koi achha khaasa Billa Raja dhoondh na! Dhoom-dhaam se nikaah karwaungi tum dono ki main!
Tanveer: Ab Zoya kya sunaon main tumhe apni dukh-bhari dastaan! Kab se ek achha khaasa Billa hi toh dhoondh rahi thi apne liye! Lekin saare India mein kahin nahi mile. Isiliye toh doosre species ke sher se adjust karna pad raha tha!
Zoya: Bas itni si baat! Itni si baat ke liye tum itna saara naatak kar rahi thi! Mujhe bolti! Aisi koi problem nahi hai jiski solution Zoya Farooqui ke paas nahi hai, samjhi! Well, isi baat pe ek sher arz kiya hai:
Zoya hai yahan toh apne dimaag ka kyun rahi ho tum band-bajaa,
Don't worry, coz main laungi apni Billo ke liye ek Billa Rajaa!!!
Shukriya, shukriya!
Tanveer: Sachhi Zoya! Yay! Par kaise?
Zoya: Arrey New York mein meri ek dost hai jiska pet-shop hai! Aur wahan ke cats, M.A.!! Saare duniya mein tumhe utne handsome male cats dekhne ko nahi milenge! Main ussey keh doongi, apne saare billiyon ki photo bhijwa de. Un photos ko dekhkar tum apne liye ek achha shauhar dhoondh lena! Aur ache breed ka Billa Raja choose karna theek hai?
Tanveer: Yippee! Zoya, you are the best! Mere Billa Raja main aa rahi hoon! Meow, meow, meowww!!!
Zoya: Ab Allah miyan, aap hi us bechare bille ko bachaiye! Mujhe toh mera sher mil gaya!!
2nd scene ends.
3rd scene:
Scene opens to reveal the backyard of the Khan mansion. Asad is pacing there, going up and down, in deep thought. Ayaan comes there all of a sudden, running.
Ayaan: Bhaijaan! Maine Haseena bi ki gaadi jalaa di! Aur usme Imran miyan bhi the! Meri madat kijiye bhaijaan! Bacha lijiye mujhe, jaldi! Help kijiye bhaijaan, mujhe is musibaat se bacha lijiye please! Hurry up, aur mujhe aise dekhna bandh kijiye as if I have grown two heads!
Asad: Kya hua pehle yeh toh batao?!
Ayaan explains everthing to Asad.
Asad: Toh yeh baat thi! Tum bhi na Ayaan! Mujhe batate! Us moti bhains ko seedha karna mere liye do second ka kaam tha, par nahi, aapko apni daredevil giri dikhani padi. Mujhe pata hai ki tum apne abbu se bohot pyaar karte ho par tum unse itna bhi inspiration mat lo ki tum second Rashid Khan ban jao! Sach mein gadhe ho tum!
Ayaan: Sorry na bhaijaan! Galti ho gayi! Par aap toh mujhe bacha lenge! Chaliye ab khade mat rahiye aur aise gale miliye jaise hum dono tees saal baad mile ho!
They hug each other tightly.
Asad: Ayaan! Kitne dino se nahaaye nahi ho tum! Badboo aa rahi hai tumse! Mujhse saans nahi liya jaa raha, aakhein jal rahi hain meri!
Episode ends with this scene:
Poore angst aur tragedy ko barbaad kar ditta!!!😆
Okay guys, I know I have most definitely lost it. Totally.😳
Now that I have successfully induced a headache in all of you, let me just go and hide behind the cupboard...for I know you all are armed with rotten eggs and tomatoes, possibly even shoes (btw, i will take the shoes, and size 6 please!!!😕)
But if i have been able to make you smile just a little bit, on this boring Sunday evening, do drop in a like and a comment. 😊 It does encourage my mind to produce more gutter!!!
<3 Srija😆
Link to my previous Gutter OS:
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