Blast from the Past Thread #12, pg 63, epi 139 - Page 24

Originally posted by: BarunDiwani

Friendly Disclaimer: My words, thoughts ideas and edited pics are mine only, please do not copy. You are welcome to use it, but credit accordingly. Thank you!

Episode 125 : Anguish

Hard to describe all the heart wrenching feelings Khushi left in that big room with Arnav...i can only try to name a few...hurt, emptiness, helplessness, frustration all bundled up into a package of anger. He couldn't hide his feelings from her and she couldn't ignore. While everyone showered her with blessing and wishes on her new engagement, she had a hard time even faking that smile she's so good at. Even if she tried to smile about this relationship that means nothing to her, her heart is consumed with the pain of the angry man who couldn't complete an answer to her question about "farq"...once again the sweets left a bitter taste in the mouth of a girl with a sweet tooth, last time it was in celebration of his engagement announcement, this time it's in celebration for her so called engagement.

Bitterness as it is, seems to have filled the air but only two people can taste it. Arnav, on his way to the only place he can run to with his excruciating pain, is in for more heartache when a ringtone bring his feel to a halt. He just knows its the other man's. even before he witnesses La teasing Khushi with her phone

"chamkili, you're so excited to talk to you future hubby!" More salt on his wounds by others who are ecstatic for Khushi. anger worsens, and he stands there staring her down with all the blame in his eyes for her. La runs up the stairs behind Arnav, and continues to tease Khushi. "Look ASR, Chamkili is so impatient, so cute na?" in all the teasing, La drops the phone, and with a quick reflex he catches it. Why does he catch it, why not just let it fall? The dramatic music and the killer look he gives her, UFF!

she knows trouble is brewing . The phone kept ringing with "shyaam" s name on it, the reality of it all sinks in paired with the very thought of Khushi acting impatient for another man, it eats him up inside. Jealousy at its best but also a great sense of betrayal even though he has no reason to feel betrayed. Interestingly she moves back leaving the phone in his hand, trying to make point i presume. Anjali snatches it away and he storms off, needing that garden, his mom even more.

Iss pyaar ko kya naam doon? He had been deeply hurt, and has no qualms about holding Khushi responsible, when her only crime was moving on after he shattered her heart because the farq was against his own set rules. He did what he thought was right for him, but never thought about the feelings he suppressed, and today he pays for it as they erupt without any sense of control from him. When the world pushed him, he pushed back, perhaps thats the only way he deals with pain. The only problem with pushing Khushi back is all that hurt comes back to him after circling her...nonetheless, it's all he knows to do, so he pushes and hurts with her.

In his garden where the ambiance is normally peaceful and serene while he tends to his precious plants, instead a massacre of those same plants with his hand, he kils even the most vibrant ones.

Once of the most heart wrenching scenes in the show. In his rage, once before after she had handed in her resignation, he had destroyed a plant he was so tenderly working on by just throwing it on the ground. Back then,, she hurt him with her words and didn't give him a chance to talk. Today pain is much worse and so is the damage. As he snips away, her words cut through him again "yeh hamaari sagaai ki angoothi hai" . and La's thoughts on "impatient chamkili" is killing him. He's taking his anger out on these plant, but why something he love so dearly? I feel the plants represent his beautiful strong feelings he had for her and, he's trying shred them away. Feelings he allowed to grow with his love and care in this very garden every night when he was alone and aloof lost in her thoughts. Sadly during the aimless cutting, his anguish deepens, the anger worsens and all the viewer can do is feel sorry for him. Appropriately, it's Khushi who intervenes.

"yeh aap kya kar rahe ha? aap jaante bhi hai ki aap phool kaat rahe ha?" "What are you doing? do you even know that you're cutting the flowers?"

...much later we learn about a lesson his mother thought him when he wanted to hurt the rose with thorns that hurts his mother. Today it's Khushi who confronts him about the flowers, but again such deep is his hurt, he does everything on impulse...thinking has gone out the door since she said those six words.

"Toh?" "So?"

"to aap saare phool kaat denge aur?" "So you'll cut all the flowers?"

"meh kya karta hoon, usse tumhe kya lena dena hai?...mein kuchh bhi karron usse tumhe kya faraq padat hai?"..." What's it to you what i do?... whatever i do, what difference does it make to you?"

Ahhh the pushing has begun, but behind it, can't we sense how badly he wants all of this to make a difference to her ? love the psychology the CVs have applied in each of his reactions and his dialogues. So real, isn't this how an person with anger issues, and the inability to express his true feelings behave with someone who hurt him?

"mein.." he tries to continue his anguish filled words but suddenly the deep gash within appears on the outside, on his palm. His injury also shows how in his pushing, he always ends up being hurt.

"Dekha chot lag gayee na aapko!""See you got hurt didn't you?" Khushi couldn't help reaching out for his hand, which he moves in spite to show her that she has also lost haq(rights) on him just like he lost haq on her.

La happens to walk in and sees the wound "Oh God!" she rushes towards him and orders for the first aid kit. "Thank God i got here" completely oblivious to the fact that his care taker was there right by his side. As La applies alcohol, "sss" he cries out in pain, Khushi jumps just wanting take it away. He is angry, but her concern for him doesn't go unnoticed from the corner of his eyes. She is about to leave but La calls her, "what are you doing there, come here help me!" Khushi hesitates but walk towards him as all she wants to do is help take care of him. La ask "hold ASR's hand"

and before she can finish he cuts in "Koi zarurat nahi hai (There is no need), i'll keep my hand steady" but La insists and he doesn't fight her any more...hmmm. I think he a part of him wants her touch just to feel alive and he can't deny the warmth and tenderness he got when she gently held his big manly hand with her tiny hands.

La asks him "You never react to anything, never get excited, in your eyes there is never fear, not happiness, only anger and lots of it..but ASR are you happy with me? with our relationship? are you excited about our life together?"

For the first time after he heard the dreadful news, he says something that seems well thought out...maybe her supporting hands under his wounded one calmed him down a little.

"aakhon mein dekh kar sab kuchh nahi jana sakta Lavany, agar koi cheez nazar nahi aah rahi hai, uska matlab yeh nahi ke woh hai nahi"

Translation: "You can't know everthing from looking into one's eyes Lavanya, if something is not showing doesn't mean it's not there

An answer with double meaning that for once clearly tells Khushi that just because he can't show his love, doesn't mean it's not there...Its the most of his feelings he could express and IMO he did his best. Khushi caught on to his powerful and profound confession, the proof is in her reaction to his blunt lie that followed

"Mein khush hoon"...i'm happy...you probably can't see but I'm REALLY happy," he elaborates. Khushi's heart breaks.

then he does the swallowing thing he often does as if gulping down his pain and slowly looks to her...to me, just this one look says everything that hidden behind all that "irrational" anger and the acting out..

That look is short lived because clueless La soon starts to tease Khushi about her upcoming "date"..." ASR pata hai? Chamkili is going on a date" [a side note: once again La's character is contradicted, She had seen Arnav has feeling for Khushi but here it's as if she never saw]

Khushi tries to deny the date for Arnav's sake, again another realistic depiction of how a girl in Khushi's shoes would act knowing that the man she loves is dying inside. Khushi excuses herself for the day but La leaves before she does. Arnav stops Khushi

"Ek minute Khushi...ajeeb baat hai na, jis din mere engagement announce hui, tum mujhe wish karna bhool gayee, aur ab tumhari engagment hui toh..."

Translation:"One minute Khushi, isn't it weird that the day my engagement was announced, you forgot to wish me..and now that you're engaged.."

hmmm why the sudden change from irrational to rational Mr.Raizada? Did he just realize that he had no right to act the way he did since she pulled her hand away from him and he learned the devastating news?

"Congratulation Khushi Kumaari Gupta" he continues with his back turned to her...his usual stand when he lies or says something he doesn't mean. She looks at the back of his head, knowing all that it took for him to say that.

"Tumhe tumhar-"...he is interrupted by Shyaam's phone call. Once again his instict is right. he looks at her as she picks up...

"ji Shyaamji" his name on her lips retracts any level headedness, rationality he had, back to anger and his arrogance. His keen eyes catch the sadness on her face, and decides to use that against her. he goes into ASR mode

"Kya hua, sab to tumhari shaad ki baat se itne khush lad rahe hai lekin tum? tumhe dekh to lag raha hai, ki tumhe abhi abhi pata chal hai ki ladka ameer nahi hai"

Translation: "What happened, everyone is so happy with you wedding, but you? seeing you, seems you just found out that the guy isn't rich"

The good old gold digger card, that's always worked like a charm as it does today. Obviously hurt, Khushi leaves without saying a word, how much strength it must take for her to walk out after hearing him talk like this, but she does, only because she knows where this is coming from and that behind the mean tough ASR, there is someone soft and helpless suffering in great agony.

Unbelievable tension created between two people, while keeping others oblivious to their aching hearts...only adds to the depth of their feelings...hats off CVs. The dialogues, the music, the direction and of course the acting all working together flawlessly to bring anguish literally to life. 124-126 are truly gems when it comes to transferring these feelings to the viewer. AMAZING!

Originally posted by: ArshiHamesha

DISCLAIMER:DON'T COPY MY WORKS AND CONCEPTS WITHOUT GIVING ME CREDIT

YOU HAVE SEEN MY HUMBLE SIDE. TRUST ME YOU WON'T LIKE THE OTHER...

ARSHI"S INDEX

Episode PART 124-125

Ring[Chakarvyue ]'PART 3 Continue

Chakarvyue is getting narrower as relationships are shaping at different level.The bond of Anjali-Shyam,Akash 'Payal,Shyam 'Khushi, Anjali-Khushi and even Raizadas-Guptas is shaping according to the position of Arnav and Khushi .They are the center of this chakarvyue which started a long time ago but came into action during Diwali.

1-Shaping circles of Anjali-Khushi-Shyam along with family around these

Anjali brings Khushi down where all the house ladies congratules her but Khushi's convulsion and pensive pain is reflecting from her face.She tells her fianc name upon asking and everyone stops at one moment but Anjali resolves the issue as there are so many Shyam other than hers.Mamiji's 007 nature is worth watching as always.

PONDERING CONNECTED DOTS: Anjali is always love to have this blind fold as after revelation 1^st time she still blames Khushi and Arnav..not Shyam.

When Anjali snatches the phone from Arnav's hand and receives the call but Shyam's ground shakes with Rani Sahiba's voice ,I wish ground would open and he slips through in as he tells Khushi his disgusting date plans'Yuck!

La and Anjali overhears this but Anjali becomes dubious after hearing Shyamji from Khushi's mouth..hmmm..but she also notices Khushi's convulsion again.This time she askes with concerns ,Is everything allright?She senses something is wrong but Khushi smiles with faade by ignoring Anjali.I wish this smart Anjali we had all along but we got Di Ki Saut track.

Slouchy Scorpion hesitation and irritations are worth watching when his Rani sahiba tells him Khushi's fiance's name.He antagonizes but again his artful slouchy moves keeps him at peace but Anjali does not let him make any story to cancel the date and DM saves our Khushi from this scoundrel.

Symbolisms and connections:Anjali said to Shyam "if you see yourself in the mirror you will find his name"Shyam's reflection in the mirror meaning his true picture is clear to him but he has no clue behind the scene as he is totally unaware of Khushi-Arnav- Anjai triangle.He's been totally blind how strong the relation is in between Arnav and Khushi.

2-Circle of Akash and Payal

Other side The cicles of relationhips are getting stronger too.Optimistic Akash ad his auto love is racing through her front door to patio and then her kitchen window,He tries her best to convince her to think about him and not about his status and family.The only wise thing he says today,"Just tell me do you like me or not?" Payal's tears rolls down in the answer which brings a hope on his face ,"if she didn't say yes ,but didn't say No either."

3-Circle of Arnav and Khushi

Arnav with chastening pain watches her Di giving Khushi a loving hug of blessings and but his view over her finger with other guy ring is like inflating venom in his brain which is ready to spittle in madness.They both share the turbulence of their overwhelming emotions along with RabaVe .He vociferates at her ,"Khushi"..but her ignorance fumes him and He grabs her phone while she was talking to Buaji '..

Khushi,"Yeh aap kya kar rahe hain.hum baat kar rahe thay"[what are you doing I was talking]

Arnav in rage,"mein bhi baat kar raha tha"[I was talking too]hmmm'this part grabs my attention the way he asks her with his face gesture couple of minutes ago [as shown above]he is referring here."Kya kar rahi ho tum"[what are you doing ..the voice modulation goes down as he is pleading '.Khushi ignoring it all,"hum ne kya kia".[What did I do?]

Arnav in rage and bafflement,"tumhari sagai ho gyae,..kaise'tum ne mujhe batana zaroori nahi samjha..Kissi ko pata kyuon nahinn hai"[you got engaged'how'you didn't even bother to tell me]hmmm.Why she supposed to tell you she meant nothing ,girls like her have purpose behind everything'not a single girl matters to ASR then WHY?

Khushi in quizzical mode,"aap ko iss se kya fadak padta hai"[why does it matter to you?]

Arnav grabbing her fiercefully,"Mujhe iss se fadak padta hai Dammit' kyuonke'.[it matters to me because.]His ego and fear stops him completing his sentence'.he just keeps starring at her with agonizing eyes'.which are delivering his message which he can't verbalize'..

PONDERING CONNECTED DOTS:AND Khushi despite getting humiliated, taunted ,and degraded by this tycoon still cares about him,loves him and understands each and every gesture of him.She does not need words'''never forces him 'Jab man kare tab bata dijiye ga [Whenever you want tell me]to all the way hum jante hain aap bhi who sare pal jeena chahte hai[I know you also want to live those moments] to hum jamjhte hain [I KNOW]for submission

Khushi also remembers this before her dream and after Arnav's 1^st confession "I love you"'which he supposed to finish here'..

Anjali intercedes and wants Khushi to come down to share her big news'.

Khushi turns around aberrantly to assimilate and understand his pain and he turns around for giving her gesture he doesn't care by swallowing the pain but he can't hide this from her.

Her heart knows but she is helpless here in these egocentric walls which he is guarding around him .She leaves him in unfathomable pain by hugging her gobs as both of them are walking parallel at the bank of the same river but she wants to move on.

Pause here:Khushi is a fighter and her belief on DM "she is with me all the time" gives her strength all the time .Its Arnav who never let her move on.Even after contract marriage fight ,she tried and she did but he brought her back always by hook or by crook.

Standing there looking his life walking away felt same but circumstances are not same ,he can twist the game back at his terms as Arnav Singh Raizada khabi haar nahi manta"'..[ASR never loses]There was the moment when he was helpless,couldn't do much for his parents but not today.

PONDERING CONNECTED DOTS:FROM now on every time when Khushi will go away from him or fear of losing her is settling in his mind as he makes ways to get her back,forced marriage or blackmailing whatever works for him to keep Khushi around him.That fear was at the edge when he almost loses her after kidnapping and he will take a promise from her for not leaving him on Bachelor's night."mujh se wada karo mujhe khabi chor keh nahin jao gi"[Promise me you will never leave me..]

He is not at peace until he gets her back at any terms'..He can't let her out of his sight as today the very first time he felt strongly losing her.His jealousy seeing her worrying about other person over him is intoxicating his blood with the venom of possessiveness. He can't handle it as he does not know how?What to do ?How do make things work again?But he has to and he will at his own terms.Yes now you know how does it feel ,right ..when you put her go through like hell announcing your engagement ,and at the top you declared your intensions by telling her "koi matlab nahin hai "[You don't matter to me]then why now?His clenching jaw and glaring eyes delineates his state of mind at her while holding the phone while she gazes up and then steps back sensing his intensions but still concerned about him.

PONDERING CONNECTED DOTS: Khushi felt strongly jealousy at the bachelor's night when she wants to pull the witch hair'.all the way down to Sheetal track. On the other hand Arnav always feels jealousy,from NK to Shyam and all the way up to reporter during Mrs India contest'

In their Eternal Heaven,he is on the mission to destroy every toy to take out his frustrations on her mother as he is angry again at her,why is she taking away something precious from her if she just gave him back under the stars.It seems he is angry at her parents too as Khushi hurt him but why its ok for you to hurt their child but in return she can't do that to you ,may be that's what these twinkling hearts of yours making you understand..Stop hurting her but you are not listening'..still doing the same and thinking the very same'

In his contortion after her declaration of engagement,"yeh humari sagai ki anghooti hai"[this is my engagement ring] and La's burning teasing words,"dekhona chamkilli kitni impatient ho rahi hai apne honewale husband se baat karne keh liye"[look how Khushi wants to talk to her fianc impatiently] his agonizing pain was taking life of these plants.Khushi sees his impudence and

He hurt his hand badly and Khushi tries to stop him but his speed gets faster and so is the fear around Khushi."Why are you talking like this'and you are not even paying attention?"

Arnav furiously,"mein kya karoon .. tumhain kya fadak padta hai"[why it matters to you] just like she did 'Ok so now you want her to realize "it does matter isn't it?"He is deeply hurt by her engagement and at this point he wants her to acknowledge it.

He hurts his hand and Khushi's heart with staggering pain "Dekh na chot lag gaye ap ko[you got hurt]as he doesn't let her touch him'but gives her romm to see his inside scorching pain which is written all over'.

PONDERING CONNECTED DOTS; khushi snatches away her hand after the fight before Delhi mein Baali 'hum issi keh laieq hain na' tou sehne dijiye na [I deserve this pain so let me bear it]

Khushi jerks up along with him when La puts meds on him'and that isn't gone unnoticed by him either' La asks Khushi to help but he declares his intensions in a negative answer to make Khushi feel guilty and bad'..but La forces her.Khushi takes his hand and wrist in her two hands 'such a beautiful assurance from her side as if she is saying if you let me I will hold you '.He is at peace with her touch as "meelon ki thakan door ho gye eik lamas bhare haath se"

As he excogitates at her each move' with his side corner eyes and assured nonchalant La he is happy with her and their marriage.He declares and repudiates to Khushi while telling La,"Aakhon mein dekh kar sab kuch nahin jana jata'.Jo nazar nahin aa raha iss ka matlab yeh nahin who hai nahi"'[u can't find everything by looking into eyes,if there is nothing it means it does not exist]

Bingo so taunting has big meaning ,He wanted her to understand through his eyes which she did understand but wanted him to say it but he wants his ego chin up.He is bleeding her heart with his words and knows it.He lies to La clearly in his war with Khushi,"I am happy..may be you can't see it but I am"When La gives him a peck,he gets a relief seeing Khushi's uneasiness with jealousy "Fadak padta hai" '.Both are yearning and bleeding internally for each others' proximity and love in this desert of ego'.

He congratulates her in a taunting tone ,"ajeeb baat hai na, jis din meri engagement announce hui tum mujhe wish karna bhool gayen, aur aab tumhari engagement hui to..[its strange you forgot to congratulate me for my engagement and now your engaement']

"Congratulation Khushi Kumari Gupta, tumhe tumhari..and Khushi's phone rings'

and then he sees her unhappy and uncomfortable talking to her fiance but her talking and paying attention to someone else is unbearable for him '"sab tou tumhari shaadi ki baat se bohat khush hain par tum"..lagta hai tumhain abhi abhi pata laga hai keh larka ameer name hai"''.[everyone is happy you're your egagement but you'it seems you just found out that the guy isn't rich]

Khushi stares at him in confounding way as she can't get him how come a person be so brutal and so gentle [during bandage..Nainital'etc] at the same time.Shaitan and Rajkumar'.She is unable to understand him..Why is he doing that? ..to punish but to who''me or himself..If he is angry so is she ,he throws daggers in anger and she delivers silence in anger.

PONDERING CONNECTED DOTS:Again the similar taunt in the office before GH incident '.Tum jaisi larkiyan khch bhi bina maqsad keh nahin karteen"'[girls like you don't do anything without purpose].But why do I smell he wants her to snap ,so he can say and declare his right on what is his''but she leaves him numbed and hurt without saying a word but conveying him everything through her eyes and he did the same.

Khushi always break contacts and become silent as she did with DM after marriage and same after Heer Ranjha track with Arnav and same during Sheetal track.

MOMENT OF THE DAY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaEsjXG7mLo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qY6QtkgD1MA

[YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaEsjXG7mLo[/YOUTUBE]

[YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qY6QtkgD1MA[/YOUTUBE]

"Khushi jerks up along with him when La puts meds on him'and that isn't gone unnoticed by him either' La asks Khushi to help but he declares his intensions in a negative answer to make Khushi feel guilty and bad'..but La forces her.Khushi takes his hand and wrist in her two hands 'such a beautiful assurance from her side as if she is saying if you let me I will hold you '.He is at peace with her touch as "meelon ki thakan door ho gye eik lamas bhare haath se"

she was his source of sukoon, we both felt earlier during the bangle episode... and now he can't take it, this long searched for peace, for granted... she's someone else's... intolerable. he gets mad bad angry. some day as you say she will understand and accept him for exactly who he is... right now both are burning in the same heat, the same tumoil tosses both.

loved you exploring chakravyuh further. the rings of relationships closing in. many unknown to the players. great analysis. 👏 👏 👏 thanks so much.

Originally posted by: indi52

episode 124

"yeh humari sagai ki angoothi hai"

his face lost all structure almost, all the hardness, the set jaw, the sharp gaze, the imperious lips, the utter certainty, the air of dominance. this is my engagement ring, she'd just said, and even if the echo hadn't been added to her voice, the music hadn't been tweaked, the slow (yet almost instant) wipe and falling away of all expression from a face, captured by a staggered pan would have told the tale and more. there was a crashing sound in it and it was picked up by my heart. i felt the draining of everything in him. a wind rose somewhere far away in a desert and blew across the wide expanse in seconds to sear through him; a howling, hot, merciless phenomenon of nature, swarming around, entering his heart carrying the dreaded words and tossing it everywhere, reaching his mind, his soul, his being. was there no escape from it.

i had been wondering for a couple of days, when i was forced to take a break, if indeed all was well in my ipk and barun world, or was my fantasy world crumbling. was the boy really the actor i thought he was? did i still feel the dhakdhak? yes, this too did happen, believe it or not. because not only were there the demands of family and ad, there were the mood swings of dailymotion. days went by without my watching anything. so many attempts to see 124, only to get stuck in the middle of backless choli scene. finally, the stars aligned and i saw the episode. again i realised, it is one thing to remember content, but another to actually watch the performers in action.

when this scene came, i knew the gold i thought i'd found was indeed that, no sign of dross in it. and i knew it straight in my heart as that expression hit it where it ticks. there are several brilliant actors in this world, many much more proven in their art and experienced than the young man i was staring at. but not one has reached my heart the way he does. every single time, har baar.

six months since we saw anything new from barun sobti. many rumours about the film he's made. no idea when it will be released. shooting for the 22 yards project pushed back by rain. sometimes a strange thought in my head. was it just a mirage? that shaking up of my reality by someone on a screen, that talent one could almost touch, that startling energy and sexiness?

all the doubts and worries gone in an instant. he will be back. would like to dedicate 124 to barun sobti, and pay tribute to his talent. this was his episode really.

his eyes seemed to bore into her, shocked yet entreating. tell me it's not true, they seemed to say. how could you do this, how could you... no. in episode 4, with glance icy cold he'd spoken of the world that was "bedard," heartless, where only money and power mattered. how hard he'd strived to give his heart this shell, this protection of material things, yet here was dard. again. she was engaged. she whom he couldn't fathom, who broke through his thick fortress walls every time, who got right under his skin, she whose every tear hurt him, with whom he could get angry, upset, completely besotted, bedazzled, but could never ever remain indifferent... what was this she just said.

the dhakdhak stayed long, rumbling quietly within, gradually melting through and becoming a part of heartbeat.

the day had begun with an altercation. they'd walked into each other, his papers had flown all over the place, he'd demanded an apology from her, she'd refused and said no way. of course, the argument had continued till she stomped off with a won't apologise, and to you... never. what was it with khushi. didn't she know that that's exactly the kind of thing he couldn't leave well alone? he'd find a way to retaliate. or maybe, one of her layers, that dupatta girl, wanted precisely that? oh, such lovely understanding of our contrary and striated characters by the writers.

curiously, and reflecting the same contrary thing in us, he'd dropped his phone in sheer surprise when he saw his nani dance to placate khushi, but he hadn't raved and snarled at the scene. instead a little quickening in his eyes when she reciprocated la's little flirtatious overture and decided to give in. got to say, sanaya was so fluid and lovely in that bit of oo la la swing, anyone would have succumbed. he'd actually gotten quite caught in the moment and smiled as he watched his fam go bonkers and so happy, also this exasperating woman do her loving giving thing. but of course, when their eyes met, he had to return to a closed look and walk off.

in the meantime, the ring is back with him... and he knows it's hers. she'd all trepidation walking into his room. he looks at her, remembers her yelling, "haan haan hume pata hai ki aap arnav singh raizada hain..." yes, yes i know you are asr, but i will not apologise to you, i will say sorry to anyone but never to you, "aur aap se toh bilkul nahin magenge." had he not remembered that, i have no idea what would have transpired. but he did. and the most wicked expression ever came into play. he was gonna have some fun.

a sweet smile planned revenge... "toh yeh tumhari angoothi hai." so this is your ring, he demurred, starting the game.

"ji, hume de dijiye." yes, give it to me, she returned not gauging mood, a little imperious in her choice of words.

not acceptable. "tumhe kya laga, tumhara jab man chahega tum iss kamre mein aaogi aur mujhe order dogi ke ring de do... aur main lauta doonga?" what did you think, you'd walk in whenever you like into this room and order me to hand over your ring and i'd do that?

this is asr, do not mess with him. whatever his feelings for her, he will not take that tone from anyone lying down, especially from her precisely because she matters; he so wants her to be his, hanging onto his every word, and there she goes defying him. unbearable. basic personality, hard for him to fight it. the duel begins in earnest. "kya kaha tha tumne, tum kissi se bhi mafi maang logi par mujh se nahi... socha arnav singh raizada se badtameezi se baat karke bach jaaogi? ring chahiye? sorry bolo." what had you said, you'd ask anyone for forgiveness but not me? thought you could be rude to asr and get away with it? want your ring? say sorry.

it was still somewhat playful, shards of the famous temper, but shades of naughty too. the little girl of 8 and boy of 14 never too far way when the two are together.

"sorry? kis baat ke liye?" sorry? for what? oh she's in no mood to give in.

how adroit the handling of escalation of war by writers, it's not in one jump ever that they reach a point of no return. always a to and fro, a provoke and attack and a rise of pace. i remembered the moment when he dropped her from his office... also had come on the back of this dueling they engage in no matter what when where. the only time they've both lost their heads and let it be what it longed to be was diwali night. but through many harsh words and hurtful encounters aren't they really always articulating just that very longing? that frantic desperate need for each other?

his anger pushes up. "sirf sorry nahin... kaan pakad kar maafi magogi." just sorry won't do, you'll hold your ears and apologise.

she storms off. keep waiting for that apology in which case. he'd said the ring was important to her. but it wasn't. not really.

the ring was important to them. it was meant to bring them to that moment in the rising hot sahara wind, when a man's world would fall apart and he'd make a connection that his tongue would not have the courage to utter, not because it lacked guts but because a heart had hurt too much and feared getting shattered again. and she would look into his eyes seeking answers to questions she'd not even asked herself yet knew they were there, she wanted them answered as though life itself depended on it.

he'd have thrown the ring... had it not been for the knock. beside himself with anger now, he was brusque, "kya hua, ab kyun ayee ho?" what happened, why have you come now?

"kya chahte hain aap?" what do you want. the tone has gone more tense now, thick... adults in place.

"main kya chahta hoon tum acchhi tarah jaanti ho... maafi mango." you know very well what i want... apologise. he is insistent, flint in his voice.

she begins to answer, but he cuts in, he wants his pound of flesh... "uh huh. kaan pakad ke..." uh huh, hold your ears.

devilish smirk... he's winning.

"sorry." she was humiliated but helpless, that ring she must get back. that ring not important to her.

and he was just settling down to enjoy his victory, when the tear in her voice caught his ears. he looked up... and in less than an instant, a shift in his eyes, so quick, the smile didn't have time to adjust. just the eyes... and a leap of emotion... a complete change.

"kitni baar bolna hai?" she was nearing hysteria in her pain...

"sorry sorry sorry sorry... sorry sorry sorry..."

"khushi?!"

he was up, and before her in a trice, holding back her hand from catching the other ear. he couldn't take that hurt in her voice, eyes, face, everything. the game had gone too far.

"sorry..." she went on like an automaton.

"shh."

he couldnt see her like this. how could he bring her to this state. that easily awakened gussa of his... he picked up the ring and returned it. rabba ve took note of the intensity, the remorse of the moment. a man and a woman in a place where nothing is as it should be.

then a beautiful thing happened.

as she struggled to slip her ring on, hands trembling, unsteady, he took her hands in both his ever so tenderly to help her. she watched mesmerised. perhaps her heart wanted this moment, this putting of ring on her engagement finger by him to be true. but had he not said he was marrying another... so what could she do but agree to that alliance not of her heart... the one that meant nothing?

then she remembered, and pulled her hand away, "aap yeh angoothi nahin pahna sakte," you can't put on this ring.

he was surprised, taken aback at the vehemence in her voice. perhaps all he wanted to do was slip it on, on to her delicate finger, absorbed, engrossed, wanting just that. this was perhaps the first time ever he'd held a girl's hand like that and taken a ring in his to make her wear it. tenderly, patiently, lovingly. he hadn't even done it for the girl he said he'd marry.

but she said "yeh humari sagai ki angoothi hai," and the whole world blew away, leaving a deafening silence, a suffocating emptiness, a death almost of breath.

the ring slipped from his leaden fingers and plunged down. like his heart probably at that moment. the low angle shot transited to a close up of a club foot in black shoe under a lovely pink saree walking into frame exactly where the ring comes to rest, a delicate hand with manicured nails picked it up slowly. di had arrived.

perhaps someone had sent her to save him from this slow constriction of his senses. he returned to reality and walked away, she turned slowly toward di, numbed by all that had happened, emotions in turmoil, storm within.

a beautifully laid out scene.

anjali, with characteristic gentleness, put on the ring for khushi ji, admonishing her sweetly for dropping off this ring so valuable to her all over the place. khushi choked back tears as this whole world tumbled around in this crazy game of rings and engagements. rabba ve entered frame.

she looked at him, for her eyes just wanted to seek him now, now that she'd said the words and he was looking the way he was, what was happening to them her gaze seemed to ask as she watched him watching her. he turned away. no one was allowed to see him so vulnerable, he would hide all his pain, he would take care of it all. only the song seemed to know how far deep in he had been cut.

we are not perfect... certainly asr is far from it. but the heart surely is pristine. haanh, nahin hai dil asr ke seene mein, he'd told her the day she had come trying to patch things up between him and la. but there was always that heart in the man. that heart that yearned, that longed, that wanted to fight with a girl and then wrap her in his arms and never let her go, kiss her by the poolside, lift her to his heart, never let her be hurt, yet tell her she meant nothing... didn't she know he said it because she did mean so much... some might say, she meant everything.

"lagta hai yeh ring aapke liye bahut his special hai... bataiye na iski khasiyat kya ha," di wants to know what makes the ring so special.

he looks at her as though asking her to break his heart again and again with those most hurtful words she has said... 6 words and his world reels, his heart aches... his breath stops... he can't focus... he can't...

"aapki shadi hone wali hai..." di is delighted, you're about to get married. he is struck by the meaning of sagai again, it means marriage...

two people, apparently not meant for each other, in fact now beholden to others, what is the thing that makes them ache so much for each other. does this have a name this intolerable feeling?

di leaves, and a long long moment in that difficult evening. two people stand looking at each other, pain and complaint in their eyes, yet who can say anything, now that they find themselves here in this forlorn juncture. rabba vey has never sounded more lost.

then the phone rings, but...

"khushi," he needs to call her, he needs to be angry again. now.

"haan, buaji," she answers her phone, not him.

"khushi!!!"

"angoothi mil gayi," she's found the ring... he grabs her phone abruptly.

"yeh aap kya kar rahe hain.. hum baat kar rahe the..." what are you doing, i was speaking... she's angry, perhaps this time she too is using anger to mask the pain.

"main bhi baat kar raha tha..." i was speaking as well, his voice is throbbing with pent up something.

"aap kya kah rahe hain hume samajh mein nahin..." i don't understand what you're doing... he stands there, arm swung back holding her phone, face tilted looking at her with a question and something else in his eyes, just looking. an emotion enters his irises, his face begins to show things he rarely does, a pursing of lips, a flaring of nostrils, emotions he is trying hard to control but they will not listen. she is moved, confused, shaken by what she's seeing.

soaked, salty voice, "kya kar rahi ho tum..." what are you doing. the edge of surf, white foam, touch of salinity, all guard down.

"humne kya kiya..." what have i done?

"tumhari sagai ho gayi... kaise... tumne mujhe batana zaroori nahin samjha? why... kissi ko pata kyun nahin hai ki tumhari..."

and it's all torn out of him, tide rising higher, gushing uncontrollable, submerging dry land, you are engaged... how? you didn't think you needed to tell me? why... how come no one knows that...

oh my sweet arnav singh raizada, "tumne mujhe batana zaroori nahin samjha" you ask. how is she to know that she needs to, even if she wanted to? didn't you tell her she means nothing to you? don't you understand she's too young, too inexperienced to know when you say that you mean the opposite. yet how you long for her to understand exactly this, don't you. someone to understand you as you are? someone to love you no matter what. and that someone is this girl right before you. khushi. the one whose name sounds different on your lips, the one you dream of, and fear losing. father betrayed you, maa went away, the world broke trust. you barricaded your fragile dil and said to h with it. yet something inside always wanted that one. the one who would release you. be yours. and you'll be hers forever. khushi. "tumne mujhe batana zaroori nahin samjha?" he'd ask her that on a ravaged bridge months later again. always that need to be important to her. mean something.

though she knew he hurt, she felt her own pain too keenly still. she flung back:

"aap ko isse kya faraq padta hai..."

angry, ferocious cry from a girl hurt by him too many times. what difference does it make to you? the classic question.

he caught her and jerked her close...

"mujhe kya faraq padta hai?!! mujhe faraq padta hai, dammit, kyunki ..."
i can translate the line all i like, but i'll never catch the tone, the texture, the velvet under the fire, the desperate wanting wrapped in violent words. what difference does it make to me... makes a difference, dammit, because -

and the struggle starts... to finish a sentence... to release the heart into the emotion... into this moment. faraq padta hai. makes a difference. he has said that at least. at last. and as she stares at him speechless and he holds her gaze but can't say a word, yet that slight swallow of his says it all, rabba vey now racing pounding insisting yearning loving submerging.

the ring had a job to do and it's kept its promise. brilliant writing. for asr to get to the point to say, yes damn you it makes a difference, one had to have a situation as harsh as this.

"khushi ji..." anjali came and took khushi away. she did look back of course, he quickly hid his face, but did she see it?

he stood there, aching. then his nostrils flared a bit, he tried to control himself, just the slightest swallow... yes, it was there... a tear in his heart.

rabba ve.

Originally posted by: sohara

episode-124(maha episode)

"apko kiyu fadak padta hai"

Why does it make difference to you?

The most significant dialogue of IPK.

Arnav is numb. He can't answer her. He intended to answer, but some unknown fear abstained him. Or may be he would answer if the great interruption Anjali di wouldn't come at the wrong time. But I'm sure he would evade the answer by saying "you doesn't mean a thing.". But how many reprimands are needed to prove that she does lot of faraq in his life. Khushi is his, he can do anything with her, twists her, torts her, yells at her, cares her, surreptitiously loves her. He is also aware of his unknown possessiveness towards her. So when he heard his Khushi is going to be someone else's Khushi how can he be insouciant! He convulsed in pain like the way Khushi convulsed when he announced his desire to marry Lavanya. May be he didn't think that way, he might took her for granted. So I have to steal Challov's line here, "I do,you can bear, but you do I can't bear."

Sometimes I really feel sorry for La. this girl gave up her identity for the sake of the Raizada family. She has become so amicable to them that even can tease nani by wishing to give her a backless blouse. Though she rectifies her by wishing to give it to Laxmi at nani's glare, but it's really overwhelming to see the sweet relationship they developed towards each other. Poor La, what can you do, ASR belongs to Khushi only. When the ladies were chitchating, forlorn Akash shows up with nani's medicine. Seeing Akash there nani's eyes glints in happiness. she expresses her desire for his marriage too. Mami gets happy in apprehension. She wants a rich and famous bride. But nani knows her grandson's taste very well, that, not a rich girl, Akash needs someone sweet, innocent, pure and naive like payal. Anjali sarcastically says, 'Who knows, what girl is coming?" Nani is confused, "chote agreed for marriage, but keeps us waiting for so long?" Anjali comforts her, "chote agreed for marriage, that's enough" La blushes, she is tensed, why chamkili didn't come yet. When they were concocting their plans, mami overhears them.

In the hallway Khushi is fighting with Arnav that no matter what she will not apologize to Arnav. God may be guffawing at his naive child's boast. She strides across the room glaring back at him. Arnav is fuming like fire. He hollers, "Hari Prakash". Poor guy now is the scapegoat of Arnav's fury.

When mami sees Khushi, she calls Khushi very sweetly, "Khushi, Khushi bitiya." Khushi gets surprised at her affability.They hear La and nani's fracas and rush to the the place.

The issue of the fight is kadha. Khushi tries to meliorate the situation. She assures nani that she will teach La to make kadha.

In the kitchen khushi is tensed, "first of all I didn't find the ring, now this. if I didn't find the ring, buaji will kill me for sure." She is not worried for the ring, but worried for buaji.

Mami comes and tells her to go and check nani. When khushi comes to her room, she overhears that they were actually acting to retain Khushi in RM. She gets terribly sad. Mami exults her victory, "The innings is over, Ms. tiptop is run out, Anjali is catch out and sasuma eleven all out, Manoroma got her hat rick." Khushi is upset, "you all lied to me. I was so restless thinking, what is happening between nani and La is not right. but you fooled me." She turns to leave. But La wants her by hook or by crook, "how can I manage without her?" Nani scares mami that if Arnav's wedding doesn't take place, Akash's marriage won't be happened. " Mami gets frightened, "In this case I'm ready to stop her." Nani thinks of some solution.

HP shuts the door before Khushi can get out, "I won't let you go." Wow Raizada's servant also wants Khuhis to stay.👏

A cheesy Bollywood song "oo la la"starts and La and nani start to shake their legs with it. Khushi is bewildered seeing the sight. Anjali and mami also join them. I must say, nani is a superb dancer. I was enjoying more her move and groove along with her natkaht ada. The funny thing is HP fainted to see their dance.😆 a delightful sequence in every way... and i am so old i have actually seen jayshree t as a dancer in hindi films.

my sexy grumpy boy comes down to see what's going on, "why there is so much noise!" he is flabbergasted to see them . when the ladies are trying so hard to coax Khushi how can she remains upset. So she also joins them. A sweet smile brightens up his face involuntarily.

Khushi hugs nani. Nani says to her, "Khushi bitiya,in this age I can't dance again and again to stop you." La confesses that all lied because of her. She requests her wistfully, "I want you to stay back as my friend, but not as a trainer or a teacher."

Anjali also wants her to stay back,, "you are like a family member. Stay till the marriage."

For the first time mami also wants her to stay back.

Nani tells her, "Hum apko Lucknow ka wasta deti hai, aap ruk jayie. ap ye ghar ka hissa hai. (i'm giving you the condition of lucknow, plz, stay back. you are a part of this family."

Khsuhi can't take that much of unconditional love from these sweet ladies. She gets emotional, tears well up in her eyes. La doesn't get the reason of her crying, ye to sach mein khushi ki asoo hai.

Arnav is witnessing the whole thing standing a little behind.

Khushi shows her gratitude submissively, "I didn't realize you became a part of my life like that it will become so difficult for me to go apart." She is so overwhelms that starts to cry. Arnav gets pensive to see them. He is astonished to see the bonding. She also sees him watching them. She looks at him with a query in her eyes, May be she wants to ask him, how cum I can stay away from your family!

Shyam calls Khushi to find out about the ring. He is frenzy, gritting his teeth, clutching his fist, he is acting like a psycho,"how are you?" tries to control his anger.He trickily wants to know about the ring, "Did the ring fit well? if you need to fix it, let me know. I'll fix it from the jewelers." Khushi confesses that the ring is lost. Shyam tells her, ' I know in what situation our engagement happened. it's my mom's ring, so I am emotionally attached to it." He cleverly suggests her to look for it in RM, "You may lost it where you work. Ask somebody if anybody found it or not. If you get it let me know. I'll see you tomorrow."

Anjali notices her tension and asks her if she still upset with them or not. Khushi tells her about the ring. Anjali understands that the ring is Khushi's. Khushi intends to say that it's her engagement ring, but can't complete. they come to the dining area to get the ring, as Anjali kept it there. When she opened the box she sees the box is empty. They search for it around the table, but they find it nowhere. Anjail gets precarious whether it dropped in nani's milk glass or not. Both rush to nani's room to find it out. They see an empty glass on the table. They get scared and ask nani about the milk. Nani says that she didn't drink the milk, but fed it to Laxmi instead. They instantly look at lakxmi's milk bowl and see no ring. (I never knew that goat drinks milk. ) they are really scared now. Anjali leaves, but nani wants to show Khushi something. Khushi asks Laxmi to give the ring back to her, if she knows about it, cause buaji will kill her otherwise.

Anjali is strolling slowly thinking to take Laxmi to the hospital. Arnav comes on her way and solves her tension. He tells her that Laxmi came to his room and left the ring what jijaji got for her. Anjali tells him that it's Khushi's ring.

Khushi and Anjali comes near Arnav's room to get the ring. Anjali gotta phone call, so she tells Khushi to go by herself. Khushi is reticent, hesitating to go alone. Anjali assures her that he will not gonna eat her up. Khushi is grumbling "Do I have to see his face again? But I need to take the ring as well." She knocks the door in abhorrence. She comes inside and stands in front of him, "Anjaliji said my ring is with you." Arnav recollects their morning encounter and Khushi's yelp. He simpers, "So it's your ring."

Khushi- plz give it back to me.

A blaze of triumph is swept through him. He was eagerly waiting for the moment. He is obdurate, "achcha, tume kya laga, tum jab chaho mere kamre mein aao, mere ring de do, aur mein lauta doonga?"

translation: So what do you think, you come to my room any time as you wish and ask for the ring, give me my ring and I give it back to you!"

Khushi is tenacious, "give my ring."

Arnav is temerarious, he is in full vengeance mood. He wants to teach her a lesson. he starts his tumult poignantly, "I would give the ring if you wouldn't argue with me in the morning. First of all you fell my papers, then expected that I'll say sorry to you.What did you say? will apologize to anybody, but not to me.You thought you can be escaped by doing battamizee (uncivilized act) with ASR! Do you want the ring, say sorry."

Khushi is obdurate, no matter what she will not say sorry. "It was your mistake in the morning, so I will not say sorry. Give my ring back."

Arnav exasperated more, "you will not get it. you infuriated me more. You only get the ring if you beg sorry by holding your ear." He moves towards her.(ASR, you are a big kid!😆) the sweetest, grumpiest meanest kid too. 😆

Arnav says her grimly, "There is no value of this ring to me, but for you it must be very valuable."

Khushi is silent.

Arnav instigates her more, "I'm waiting" a derisive smirk on his lip.

Khushi is still incorrigible, "So wait. How expensive can be the ring, but I can't trade it with my self respect. I will not say sorry, cause I was not at fault. so keep the ring with you."She leaves the room.

Khushi is strolling, grumbling, 'Never say sorry by holding ears." But poor Khushi, how can she escape from buaji's taunt! she calls her, "did you find the ring? Am I your enemy?" She now emotionally blackmails her by bringing her deceased parents, "I know there is no value of this marriage to you. But you know I did it for you babuji's sake.If your real parents were alive and if they would fix this marriage, could you do this? You hurted me so much today. If you have any respect left for your bua, search the ring and get it back." She really puts Khushi in quandary. She has no choice left to say sorry to the laad governor.

Arnav looks at the ring on the table, he gets frantic and slams the Laptop. He picks the ring and about to throw it, he sees Khushi is standing there. "What happened? why did you come again?"

Khushi asks meekly, what does he want?

Arnav- You know what I want.

Khushi says sorry.

Arnav is inexorable, "Not like this, holding your ear."

Khsuhi begs sorry in acquiescence several times, 'How many times I have to say sorry?' tears is welling up in her eyes.

Arnav can't take her tears, he melts down and hold her hands, he says her name gently "Khushi sshh" Rabba vey in the piano states their inner turmoil.

He keeps the ring on her palm, but doesn't let her hand go.He is feeling guilty to irritate her.

Khushi snatches her hand away, tries to put the ring on her finger forcibly. When she can't Arnav holds her hand, tries to put it. But Khushi again snatches her hand on half the way. "You can't make me wear this, cause it's my engagement ring.'

BG music intensifies the tempest of Arnav's heart. He is congealed, as if somebody sacrileges his sanctuary. the ring falls down from his hand and rolls over to Anjali. she picks it and says, 'Khushiji keep it safely. By seeing your state it seems that this ring is very precious. But still you drops it here and there."

Anjali puts the ring in Khushi's finger.

(bingo!👏 the engagement finally completed. My nanijaan once said, in Islamic society, not the groom, but groom's mom or someone equivalent to her, puts the ring on bride's finger at the time of the engagement.)

Arnav watches them. He is in billow of pain. They look at each other intently.

Anjali asks Khushi again about the importance of the ring. When Khushi tells about her engagement, she hugs her scrumptiously and congratulates her. she tease her, "you should blush a bit, smile a bit now" She also shares her delight with Arnav.I wish if she would know the tempest in his heart. She goes to give the news to everybody.

Arnav and Khushi both are starring at each other trying to measure their turbulence. Rabba vey in piano again starts to depict their vulnerability. Khushi's phone rings. It's buaji. she gives her the good news. Arnav is fuming inwardly. He hollers, "khushi!" He snatches the phone from her hand, turns it off. Khushi asks in embroilment, "What are you doing? I was talking." Arnav is fuming, "I was also talking." He screams, "What are you doing? You got engaged! How? You didn't feel the importance to tell it to me? Why nobody knows?" ( Why she will tell you Mr. Raizada. You already told her that she is nothing to you. and also vowed not to talk or see her face.) Khushi is incredulous, "Why it matters to you?"

Arnav grabs hold her upper arms vehemently, "mujhe kya phadak padta hai. kiyuki." (Why it matters to me? cause) He doesn't answer her, just keep starring at her eyes, as if, wants to say, try to read you answer in my eyes.

As usual Anjali intervenes at the wrong time, 'Khushiji you didn't come. I gave the news to everybody.' Khushi again looks at him, He also. If she could she would imbibe all his pain, but she can't. How can she salvage him from the misconception what he cocooned inside his mind! The sheer pain is so evident in his eyes. Whose pain is more? If Khushi's pain is myriad, Arnav's pain is abysmal. both of their pain is tantamount. The heart wrenching piano tone of Rabba vey increases my pain along with them.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=p-UaAPxRnpE[/YOUTUBE]

credit goes to Coldy

guys i wrote it twice. cause by mistake i deleted the first one. i was so annoyed that started to curse myself.

Originally posted by: indi52

gorgeous take, ami. reading you after a huge gap. thoroughly enjoyed. so agree about that transferring of feelings to viewers. absolutely heart rocking stuff. the psychology of the character was intensely understood by creators, and of course barun the ha ha boy had become asr the what the man, no gap between him and his character. the hand cutting scene and the emotions around it so complex and intoxicating, hard to believe you are not there, it's not happening to you. and his jealousy searing the phonecall from shyam moments was something else. thanks, ami, pinks and purples say more than my words ever can.

i still can't figure out though, what exactly khushi read in his reactions. did she guess he loved her? or did she just feel he was not as indifferent as he tried to pretend. and that itself was so powerful a realisation that it shook her deep inside. she knew she had to reach him somehow and calm his raging insides but perhaps she had no idea why he raged or why she really had to make him feel better... their feelings were so compulsive... almost beyond what can be clearly expressed in neat little words... just roiling, huge feelings that demanded attention. just mulling, interested to know what you think. 😳

Originally posted by: indi52

episode 124

"yeh humari sagai ki angoothi hai"

Main toh jiya na mara
Hai ve das main ki kara

Dil jude bina hi tut gaye hath mile bina hi chhut gaye
Ki likhe ne lekh kismet ne
Baar baar rod akhiyan tainu jo na vekh sakiyan
Khole aaye aaj kudrat ne
Kataan main ki ve din teri soth tere bin
Main toh jiya na mara

Chan Se jo tute koi sapna
JAg suna suna lage
Jag suna suna lage

Koi rahe na jab apna
JAg suna suna lage
Jag suna suna lage
Jag suna suna

his face lost all structure almost, all the hardness, the set jaw, the sharp gaze, the imperious lips, the utter certainty, the air of dominance. this is my engagement ring, she'd just said, and even if the echo hadn't been added to her voice, the music hadn't been tweaked, the slow (yet almost instant) wipe and falling away of all expression from a face, captured by a staggered pan would have told the tale and more. there was a crashing sound in it and it was picked up by my heart. i felt the draining of everything in him. a wind rose somewhere far away in a desert and blew across the wide expanse in seconds to sear through him; a howling, hot, merciless phenomenon of nature, swarming around, entering his heart carrying the dreaded words and tossing it everywhere, reaching his mind, his soul, his being. was there no escape from it.

i had been wondering for a couple of days, when i was forced to take a break, if indeed all was well in my ipk and barun world, or was my fantasy world crumbling. was the boy really the actor i thought he was? did i still feel the dhakdhak? yes, this too did happen, believe it or not. because not only were there the demands of family and ad, there were the mood swings of dailymotion. days went by without my watching anything. so many attempts to see 124, only to get stuck in the middle of backless choli scene. finally, the stars aligned and i saw the episode. again i realised, it is one thing to remember content, but another to actually watch the performers in action.

when this scene came, i knew the gold i thought i'd found was indeed that, no sign of dross in it. and i knew it straight in my heart as that expression hit it where it ticks. there are several brilliant actors in this world, many much more proven in their art and experienced than the young man i was staring at. but not one has reached my heart the way he does. every single time, har baar.

six months since we saw anything new from barun sobti. many rumours about the film he's made. no idea when it will be released. shooting for the 22 yards project pushed back by rain. sometimes a strange thought in my head. was it just a mirage? that shaking up of my reality by someone on a screen, that talent one could almost touch, that startling energy and sexiness?

all the doubts and worries gone in an instant. he will be back. would like to dedicate 124 to barun sobti, and pay tribute to his talent. this was his episode really.

his eyes seemed to bore into her, shocked yet entreating. tell me it's not true, they seemed to say. how could you do this, how could you... no. in episode 4, with glance icy cold he'd spoken of the world that was "bedard," heartless, where only money and power mattered. how hard he'd strived to give his heart this shell, this protection of material things, yet here was dard. again. she was engaged. she whom he couldn't fathom, who broke through his thick fortress walls every time, who got right under his skin, she whose every tear hurt him, with whom he could get angry, upset, completely besotted, bedazzled, but could never ever remain indifferent... what was this she just said.

the dhakdhak stayed long, rumbling quietly within, gradually melting through and becoming a part of heartbeat.

the day had begun with an altercation. they'd walked into each other, his papers had flown all over the place, he'd demanded an apology from her, she'd refused and said no way. of course, the argument had continued till she stomped off with a won't apologise, and to you... never. what was it with khushi. didn't she know that that's exactly the kind of thing he couldn't leave well alone? he'd find a way to retaliate. or maybe, one of her layers, that dupatta girl, wanted precisely that? oh, such lovely understanding of our contrary and striated characters by the writers.
WHO ELSE BUT HIM AND WHO ELSE BUT HER on whom can they take out their inner most feelings and anger on they bond immediately whether in love or seeming to hate that is their level of communication the joru ka gulam that she calls him at a later stage and excuse me that he says the instant reaction of both heights and depths and this is one of the depths of hurt for him

Indi like you posted the pictures and the take of Barun as an actor bringing out the depth.

curiously, and reflecting the same contrary thing in us, he'd dropped his phone in sheer surprise when he saw his nani dance to placate khushi, but he hadn't raved and snarled at the scene. instead a little quickening in his eyes when she reciprocated la's little flirtatious overture and decided to give in. got to say, sanaya was so fluid and lovely in that bit of oo la la swing, anyone would have succumbed. he'd actually gotten quite caught in the moment and smiled as he watched his fam go bonkers and so happy, also this exasperating woman do her loving giving thing. but of course, when their eyes met, he had to return to a closed look and walk off.😆

in the meantime, the ring is back with him... and he knows it's hers. she'd all trepidation walking into his room. he looks at her, remembers her yelling, "haan haan hume pata hai ki aap arnav singh raizada hain..." yes, yes i know you are asr, but i will not apologise to you, i will say sorry to anyone but never to you, "aur aap se toh bilkul nahin magenge." had he not remembered that, i have no idea what would have transpired. but he did. and the most wicked expression ever came into play. he was gonna have some fun.

a sweet smile planned revenge... "toh yeh tumhari angoothi hai." so this is your ring, he demurred, starting the game.

"ji, hume de dijiye." yes, give it to me, she returned not gauging mood, a little imperious in her choice of words.

not acceptable. "tumhe kya laga, tumhara jab man chahega tum iss kamre mein aaogi aur mujhe order dogi ke ring de do... aur main lauta doonga?" what did you think, you'd walk in whenever you like into this room and order me to hand over your ring and i'd do that?

this is asr, do not mess with him. whatever his feelings for her, he will not take that tone from anyone lying down, especially from her precisely because she matters; he so wants her to be his, hanging onto his every word, and there she goes defying him. unbearable. basic personality, hard for him to fight it. the duel begins in earnest. "kya kaha tha tumne, tum kissi se bhi mafi maang logi par mujh se nahi... socha arnav singh raizada se badtameezi se baat karke bach jaaogi? ring chahiye? sorry bolo." what had you said, you'd ask anyone for forgiveness but not me? thought you could be rude to asr and get away with it? want your ring? say sorry.

it was still somewhat playful, shards of the famous temper, but shades of naughty too. the little girl of 8 and boy of 14 never too far way when the two are together.
😆
"sorry? kis baat ke liye?" sorry? for what? oh she's in no mood to give in.

how adroit the handling of escalation of war by writers, it's not in one jump ever that they reach a point of no return. always a to and fro, a provoke and attack and a rise of pace. i remembered the moment when he dropped her from his office... also had come on the back of this dueling they engage in no matter what when where. the only time they've both lost their heads and let it be what it longed to be was diwali night. but through many harsh words and hurtful encounters aren't they really always articulating just that very longing? that frantic desperate need for each other? well posted

his anger pushes up. "sirf sorry nahin... kaan pakad kar maafi magogi." just sorry won't do, you'll hold your ears and apologise.

she storms off. keep waiting for that apology in which case. he'd said the ring was important to her. but it wasn't. not really.

the ring was important to them. it was meant to bring them to that moment in the rising hot sahara wind, when a man's world would fall apart and he'd make a connection that his tongue would not have the courage to utter, not because it lacked guts but because a heart had hurt too much and feared getting shattered again. and she would look into his eyes seeking answers to questions she'd not even asked herself yet knew they were there, she wanted them answered as though life itself depended on it.

he'd have thrown the ring... had it not been for the knock. beside himself with anger now, he was brusque, "kya hua, ab kyun ayee ho?" what happened, why have you come now?

"kya chahte hain aap?" what do you want. the tone has gone more tense now, thick... adults in place.

"main kya chahta hoon tum acchhi tarah jaanti ho... maafi mango." you know very well what i want... apologise. he is insistent, flint in his voice.

she begins to answer, but he cuts in, he wants his pound of flesh... "uh huh. kaan pakad ke..." uh huh, hold your ears.

devilish smirk... he's winning.

"sorry." she was humiliated but helpless, that ring she must get back. that ring not important to her.

and he was just settling down to enjoy his victory, when the tear in her voice caught his ears. he looked up... and in less than an instant, a shift in his eyes, so quick, the smile didn't have time to adjust. just the eyes... and a leap of emotion... a complete change.

"kitni baar bolna hai?" she was nearing hysteria in her pain...

"sorry sorry sorry sorry... sorry sorry sorry..."

"khushi?!"

he was up, and before her in a trice, holding back her hand from catching the other ear. he couldn't take that hurt in her voice, eyes, face, everything. the game had gone too far. Sanaya Barun both brilliant in that scene

"sorry..." she went on like an automaton.

"shh."

he couldnt see her like this. how could he bring her to this state. that easily awakened gussa of his... he picked up the ring and returned it. rabba ve took note of the intensity, the remorse of the moment. a man and a woman in a place where nothing is as it should be.

then a beautiful thing happened.

as she struggled to slip her ring on, hands trembling, unsteady, he took her hands in both his ever so tenderly to help her. she watched mesmerised. perhaps her heart wanted this moment, this putting of ring on her engagement finger by him to be true. but had he not said he was marrying another... so what could she do but agree to that alliance not of her heart... the one that meant nothing?

then she remembered, and pulled her hand away, "aap yeh angoothi nahin pahna sakte," you can't put on this ring.

he was surprised, taken aback at the vehemence in her voice. perhaps all he wanted to do was slip it on, on to her delicate finger, absorbed, engrossed, wanting just that. this was perhaps the first time ever he'd held a girl's hand like that and taken a ring in his to make her wear it. tenderly, patiently, lovingly. he hadn't even done it for the girl he said he'd marry.

but she said "yeh humari sagai ki angoothi hai," and the whole world blew away, leaving a deafening silence, a suffocating emptiness, a death almost of breath.

the ring slipped from his leaden fingers and plunged down. like his heart probably at that moment. the low angle shot transited to a close up of a club foot in black shoe under a lovely pink saree walking into frame exactly where the ring comes to rest, a delicate hand with manicured nails picked it up slowly. di had arrived.

perhaps someone had sent her to save him from this slow constriction of his senses. he returned to reality and walked away, she turned slowly toward di, numbed by all that had happened, emotions in turmoil, storm within.

a beautifully laid out scene.

anjali, with characteristic gentleness, put on the ring for khushi ji, admonishing her sweetly for dropping off this ring so valuable to her all over the place. khushi choked back tears as this whole world tumbled around in this crazy game of rings and engagements. rabba ve entered frame.

she looked at him, for her eyes just wanted to seek him now, now that she'd said the words and he was looking the way he was, what was happening to them her gaze seemed to ask as she watched him watching her. he turned away. no one was allowed to see him so vulnerable, he would hide all his pain, he would take care of it all. only the song seemed to know how far deep in he had been cut.

we are not perfect... certainly asr is far from it. but the heart surely is pristine. haanh, nahin hai dil asr ke seene mein, he'd told her the day she had come trying to patch things up between him and la. but there was always that heart in the man. that heart that yearned, that longed, that wanted to fight with a girl and then wrap her in his arms and never let her go, kiss her by the poolside, lift her to his heart, never let her be hurt, yet tell her she meant nothing... didn't she know he said it because she did mean so much... some might say, she meant everything.

one whose lips only told/uttered heartbreaking words😭 and eyes told the depth of his love
"lagta hai yeh ring aapke liye bahut his special hai... bataiye na iski khasiyat kya ha," di wants to know what makes the ring so special.

he looks at her as though asking her to break his heart again and again with those most hurtful words she has said... 6 words and his world reels, his heart aches... his breath stops... he can't focus... he can't...

"aapki shadi hone wali hai..." di is delighted, you're about to get married. he is struck by the meaning of sagai again, it means marriage...

two people, apparently not meant for each other, in fact now beholden to others, what is the thing that makes them ache so much for each other. does this have a name this intolerable feeling?

di leaves, and a long long moment in that difficult evening. two people stand looking at each other, pain and complaint in their eyes, yet who can say anything, now that they find themselves here in this forlorn juncture. rabba vey has never sounded more lost.

then the phone rings, but...

"khushi," he needs to call her, he needs to be angry again. now.

"haan, buaji," she answers her phone, not him.

"khushi!!!"

"angoothi mil gayi," she's found the ring... he grabs her phone abruptly.

"yeh aap kya kar rahe hain.. hum baat kar rahe the..." what are you doing, i was speaking... she's angry, perhaps this time she too is using anger to mask the pain.

"main bhi baat kar raha tha..." i was speaking as well, his voice is throbbing with pent up something.

"aap kya kah rahe hain hume samajh mein nahin..." i don't understand what you're doing... he stands there, arm swung back holding her phone, face tilted looking at her with a question and something else in his eyes, just looking. an emotion enters his irises, his face begins to show things he rarely does, a pursing of lips, a flaring of nostrils, emotions he is trying hard to control but they will not listen. she is moved, confused, shaken by what she's seeing.

soaked, salty voice, "kya kar rahi ho tum..." what are you doing. the edge of surf, white foam, touch of salinity, all guard down.

"humne kya kiya..." what have i done?

"tumhari sagai ho gayi... kaise... tumne mujhe batana zaroori nahin samjha? why... kissi ko pata kyun nahin hai ki tumhari..."

and it's all torn out of him, tide rising higher, gushing uncontrollable, submerging dry land, you are engaged... how? you didn't think you needed to tell me? why... how come no one knows that...

oh my sweet arnav singh raizada, "tumne mujhe batana zaroori nahin samjha" you ask. how is she to know that she needs to, even if she wanted to? didn't you tell her she means nothing to you? don't you understand she's too young, too inexperienced to know when you say that you mean the opposite. yet how you long for her to understand exactly this, don't you. someone to understand you as you are? someone to love you no matter what. and that someone is this girl right before you. khushi. the one whose name sounds different on your lips, the one you dream of, and fear losing. father betrayed you, maa went away, the world broke trust. you barricaded your fragile dil and said to h with it. yet something inside always wanted that one. the one who would release you. be yours. and you'll be hers forever. khushi. "tumne mujhe batana zaroori nahin samjha?" he'd ask her that on a ravaged bridge months later again. always that need to be important to her. mean something.

though she knew he hurt, she felt her own pain too keenly still. she flung back:

"aap ko isse kya faraq padta hai..."

angry, ferocious cry from a girl hurt by him too many times. what difference does it make to you? the classic question.

he caught her and jerked her close...

"mujhe kya faraq padta hai?!! mujhe faraq padta hai, dammit, kyunki ..."
i can translate the line all i like, but i'll never catch the tone, the texture, the velvet under the fire, the desperate wanting wrapped in violent words. what difference does it make to me... makes a difference, dammit, because -

and the struggle starts... to finish a sentence... to release the heart into the emotion... into this moment. faraq padta hai. makes a difference. he has said that at least. at last. and as she stares at him speechless and he holds her gaze but can't say a word, yet that slight swallow of his says it all, rabba vey now racing pounding insisting yearning loving submerging.

the ring had a job to do and it's kept its promise. brilliant writing. for asr to get to the point to say, yes damn you it makes a difference, one had to have a situation as harsh as this.

"khushi ji..." anjali came and took khushi away. she did look back of course, he quickly hid his face, but did she see it?

he stood there, aching. then his nostrils flared a bit, he tried to control himself, just the slightest swallow... yes, it was there... a tear in his heart.

rabba ve.

Lovely emotional take Indi brought tears to my eyes for these two young lovers doing exactly the opposite things of what their heart wants. What a lovely deep emotional story at this stage and your take too good my comments in blue and loved ll the colored portions and underlined ones more more

Originally posted by: Horizon

The reason why I love ASR as much (as I said earlier) becos its a treat to watch some one in love with so much intensity, and passion... the same reason indi's write ups are so much endearing about the above man and the man who donned that avatar.. from playful... to flirty... to concern... to love... to shock .. to pain.. a heart wrenching one.. how his eyes and face reflected all that with in matter of minutes!

That flirty ness in the room, first time from him as yet was a treat, so was his immediate transition on seeing her tears.. his first "shh" .. love how he NEVER leaves her hands the whole time.. how his yearning for her was shown at many levels!

Yes, it was a fact that he was the one to push her away and contrarily get shocked at this news..but that Diwali apathy was a spur of a moment reaction from him without any foresight what so ever. He just wanted to escape from that moment thats it.. without a hint of a thought to what she would do next.,.. and when her reaction comes in front of him in this he just could n't take it.. the repercussion of his own undoing!

Ofcourse Khushi knew exactly what he is struggling with... perhaps the reason why she showed maturity and dealt with his anger the way she did . but she herself is in a helpless situation with adversity all around .pain in both of them was immeasurable.

Wanted to underline everything.. Feels as if I just got out from a movie theater after watching a touching movie.. thanks for the treat Indi!

Originally posted by: sohara

Episode-130

How complex is his love! the enormous love what Arnav cocooned inside, it's not easy to ignore. He disavows his love for Khushi by his flippancy, but to do so he has been going through indecipherable pain. he has been lying incessantly to prove her that she is nothing in his life. whereas his every action is meant for Khushi only. For every lie, he has gone through a tumult inwardly. No one else but only Khushi can find the way of the labyrinth of his love. sach mein "iss pyaar ko kya naam doon?👏👏

It seems like Lavanya has completely adapted khushi's style.So she is elated wearing Gotewala dress like Khushi. But she is precarious at the same time, if ASR doesn't like it!. Khushi assures her that she should wear whatever she likes to. I feel a pang of pity for La. she loves ASR so much that ready to do anything for him. I know if I was in her state I also would do same, after all he is the great Arnav Singh Raizada. Any girl would do anything to get him. 👏Does her 6th sense see that ASR reacts more to Khushi is she unconsciously trying to be like her she already told khushi he listens to you and you go and tell him the bit of your mind

In GH Anjali is still pensive about the ring issue. Nani is not happy as Chote didn't complete the shopping. Mami consoles her that he selected the ring that's good enough. La and Khsuhi join them. La is scrumptious and Khushi is still in the woebegone state. The ever chirpy, bubbly and garrulous Khushi has lost in some other planet. La shows them her shopping. Everybody love her outfits including the one what she is wearing. La shows khushi again that both of their dresses are same, gotewale. Mami taunts her, "like her dress don't start wearing Phatti saree." mamiya is so rude never changes

Aranv is driving the car, the repercussion is taking him to all the recent events with Khushi, how he misbehaved with her, in the diwali night, "don't think a rich guy kept your anklet close to his heart."; then how he made her say sorry by grabbing her ears; then his insolent words, "whom did you trap as a rich guy, turns cheap like the bracelet." All his afflictive words are reverberating in his thought. He convulses, "why do I do this always. all the time tears in her eyes. Now nothing will happen like this. I'll not let it happen." I'm confused, did he vow to ignore Khushi or to behave nice with her. but it's sure that he is also succumbing in abysmal pain by hurting her. Probably his way of loving her making tears come to her and then go all tender and apologetic😕

La is so delectable, showing the jewelry set to nani, 'ASR chose it for me." Khushi agitates hearing this. When the door bell rings La runs to open the door, "it should be ASR." Her excitement is natural, who doesn't want to see her to be fiance all the time. But all her excitement gone in waste by ASR's yelp. Everybody rush to check what's wrong. ASR is infuriated to see La wearing khushi type costume. He mentioned this as a down market classless costume. He shows her the pompom what is Khushi's signature style. He says peremptorily "This is is so down market and cheap like" he can't complete, Khushi reaches there. He resumes by gritting his teeth, "it doesn't have any class and I don't like anything that doesn't have class." he now directly hits Khushi. La defends that she, including everybody loved this outfit. (pause: he reacted harshly like this when La first wore Khushi type salwar suit. We know why he doesn't want to see La in Khushi's outfit, cause it reminds him Khushi, what he doesn't want to do. point of no return why are RF so dim towards Chotey's feelings) Tears well up in La's eyes, "I just wore Khushi type cloth and you are getting so mad. why are you like this ASR?" Arnav says disdainfully, "whatever I am, I am. but you should change this dress right now." But La antagonizes this time that she will not gonna change. But Arnav is incorrigible, no way he can't allow her to wear this suit. Everybody get flummoxed to see his highhandedness. La starts to cry, "Why ASR is like that? how cum he behaved so rudely with me?" everybody try to pacify her. "you know how chote is" nani tries to console her. "plz don't feel bad at chote's words" Anjali tries to make up her bro's misdemeanor. La is upset that he has become more angry nowadays than before. In this fiasco Khushi is just congealed in embroilment. She also comforts her, "it's not you fault."

Arnav is pacing back and forth in his room. he is repugnant with riot of emotions. By taking the subitanteous decision to marry La, he is not only torturing Khushi and himself but making everybody's life miserable as well. Khushi comes in front of his room to meliorate the situation. She knows, only she is the one who can make him understand.

"Get out," he says in cool stern voice.

"nahi I need to talk to you." Khushi is adamant.

"then talk i don't need to listen" Arnav closed the glass door in front of her face. But Khushi is valiant, she has to clear his doubt. she opens the sliding door by herself and tells him that La bought the dress as per Khushi's taste.(which is not right. La selected by herself. but to save La Khushi is taking everything on her👏) "so if you wants to show your anger, show it to me, but not to hers." Khushi says sternly.

Arnav answers her grimly, "you don't have to tell me how should I behave with Lavanya. that's not of your business"

He intends to go to close the door again, but she resumes, "the people around love you so much, but you don't have any idea, right? do you know how much their hearts pain at your pungent words? I know you are angry with me. Plz don't punish Lavanyaji. what do you want to say, say to me"

He exasperates more, "what do you think of yourself?" His anger rise to a crescendo, "what do you think of yourself? you think I'm angry because of you? whatever I do, do for you? ( but of course whom are you kidding)If you think it matters to me you exist or not, then forget it." Khushi jolts in his loud shout, she cringes inwardly. With his thoughts veering painfully to her, he says gruffly "You are not so important in my life that, for you I'll be angry and I'll show my anger to someone else. you don't even exist for me. Do you understand. you exist or not, what you say or do, it doesn't make any difference to me. did you understand. " His holler makes Khushi jerk. He turns his face away from her, to hide his anguish. He clenches his jaw, closes his eyes in perturbation. he knows whatever he just told is blunt lie. Whatever he does, just does thinking of Khushi. Khsui can't hold her tears. He turns towards her after controlling his agitation. With a suppressed emotions in her voice Khushi says, "I know I exist or not, it doesn't make any difference to you. But I forgot that you are Arnav singh raizada. you never apologize after hurting someone. It's my mistake that I came to talk to you." She slowly closes the door and leaves. Arnav just stays still for a moment, spell bound.

La changed her outfit. Anjali and Khushi are helping her to put her clothes in the closet. "Lavanya" he gently calls her name. Arnav comes to her room and asks her why she changed her dress? he grabs the dress from the closet and gives it to her, "you liked it, so you should wear it. I'm sorry, I shouldn't react like that." Anjali and Khushi both are flabbergasted to see his nicety. La hugs her😡 and says him "I love you" Khushi's heart lurches painfully. Arnav contemplates her keenly, doesn't say La "I love you too", but says sorry again. La's face brightens up with a glint. she hugs him again.😡 Khushi who was just leaving looks shattered to see them hugging each other. Arnav also feels her pain. La leans her head on his shoulder again.😡 Khushi can't bear this sight any more. She looks at them, gulping the pain inwardly. Arnav looks at her ambiguously. He can see how hurt she is to see La close to him. Khushi again looks back at them with a sheer pain in her eyes. Gosh my heart is aching to see La is hugging Arnav. just counting days when she will be out of his life.

I must say Sanaya was brilliant in the scene. I could see a real pain in her expression.

Mama has been shown after a long time. Mami is fixing Akash's marriage to some Ms, India who is a rich man's daughter.Mama is skeptical. he thinks she should take Akash's verdict first. Mami is sure that her son will like the girl what she will select for him. she wants to announce the news of his engagement on the day of Arnav's engagement. Akash, who overheard his mom's wish, became sad.

In GH khushi is ebbbing in Arnav's thought. He gave the necklace to La and later told her that he gave her chosen set to La and taunted her that it shouldn't make any difference to her. Then she remembers his excruciating words "not a gift but take it as a tip. "I cried enough, not any more, I'll not think of him." She avows. She knows it's her feeling of love for Arnav. but wants to deny it. She tells DM that, she doesn't need to know the answer of her feelings, she cried enough, but no more. She just wishes that the engagement takes place properly in a week as she has been approbated to do the arrangement, then she will not think of Arnav any more. everything will be alright then. She pleas DM to be with her.

Tho phone is ringing, buaji is screaming, 'pick the phone, it must be Shyam." Gosh buaji can't think anything else but shyam only.😡 Khushi and bua both come to receive the call. but bua receives the phone "haire nand kisore", the caller cuts the call. Khushi teases bua that the caller is not Nandkisore, so he cut the call. I salute Khushi's positive attitude. she knows how to smile in her deepest sorrow. The phone rings again and Khushi picks it, but no response. It must be lover boy Akash who is calling incessantly.

Shyam comes to RM and asks Anjali what was the urgency that she gave 16 missed call to him? Anjali is still forlorn. before she can ask anything Shyam tells her that he was in court whole day. So obviously he couldn't receive her call. She asks him how is his friend who was in hospital and how is Kamlaji? He cleverly answers her. It seems like Anjali is not so impressed with his equivocal answer.

I guessed right, it's Akash who was calling GH. It's good that finally Payal receives the call. he requests her wistfully for a rendezvous. Payal refuses. but he insists her to meet him just for once. Payal still tenacious. he says he will wait for her. Payal cuts his call. Khushi overhears her and asks her who was on the phone and where she will not go. Payal intends to say everything to Khushi, but refrains herself instantly. She can't put Khushi in another anxiety. Khushi is incredulous, "what happened to jiji and who was on the phone? something is wrong for sure"

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=hY9z24boLgE[/YOUTUBE]

credit goes to Shy