From the author's desk: A long winding update... Put on your seat belts and here we go down the memory lane... Thanks for the comments and Happy reading ____________________________________________________
Chapter 4: Down the memory lane
Unmindful of the door that banged behind him, Arnav strode off to the pool area which always provided him solace and escapade from the maddening crowd during testing times' But this time the pool side even failed to get him the familiar empty calmness of his own shell' Angry with what he had witnessed in the hallway only minutes before, He resorted to throwing away whatever he came across with to feed his fury that resulted out of helplessness that he felt with thoughts about Kushi'
When he ventured to push down the pillows stacked on the recliner outside by the pool, one of his dhaga in his right arm got caught in the recliner and with the force that he was using to push down the pillows, the dhaga got cut and was thrown a little further away.
Arnav's eyes fell on the dhaga and stood stunned for a moment before he went ahead and picked it in his hands' In his life time, or atleast after Mom died, he had only let two people tie dhagas in his hand' One was his sister and the other was''..Kushi.. and this one which had now come out of his hand was the last one that she had made him wear almost four years back' during happier times' as he clenched his fist closing the dhaga, his memory went spinning to that day'
"No way' I am not accepting a Rakhi from you'"
"Idiot! Get back here this minute' Arnav I can't chase you like this running behind you through the entire college"
"Has Raksha bhandan come early this year?"
"This is not Rakhi you moron!- this is raksha dhaga"
"Oh the one you think which has got magical properties? You got cheated Kushi, the last one you made me wear didn't have any genie come out of it"
"Don't ridicule my beliefs Arnav"
"You know I don't believe in these stuff"
"Arnav please don't run' we are making a scene"
"Ok then accept that you love me"
"What?"
"you love me so much that whenever you visit a temple you bring back one of those threads to stash it on my wrist " Arnav told as he made another successful escape "what kind of love is this?"
"What crap? Why are you giving ideas to the entire college when there is nothing like that' stop fooling around Arnav"
"Hmm' Ok'. You so don't love me?"
"I do love you like a friend' Like how I love any of my friends "
This finally made Arnav come to an abrupt stop.
"Finally" Kushi muttered as she grabbed his arm
"Or really?" Arnav asked in a tone which was half hurt and half angry "So you love me like you love NK? Have you got one for him too?"
"Oooh' don't grow so green' it's not good for your health! " she chuckled as she placed the dhaga on his wrist as he pulled his hand away again, but the playfulness that he displayed minutes before had gone!
"Answer me first" he asked her in a serious tone
Kushi looked frustrated and then threw her hands up on the air
"No baba' I got it only for you' Happy?" she asked as she reached for his arm again
"Very happy" Arnav said as he let her tie the dhaga on his wrist "so you love me a little more than you love your other friends"
"yes ofcourse'" she told him "and the way we ran today through the entire college, we are gonna give them another chance to think that we are together'."
"As if I am bothered' I know that's true"
"what the hell" Kushi exclaimed as he ducked her attempt to catch hold of his hair and the chase began again'.
***
Kushi rushed and locked herself in her room. The tears had already started flowing down her cheeks and the confines of her room gave her the liberty to cry out her heart as she felt like doing right now'
After all those days of friendship, after all those days of togetherness that she shared with Arnav'. When they both stopped talking to each other finally on that fateful day'.She did cry.. but that did not quite feel heart wrenching like today'. She had always been wondering about the relationship that they shared' Was it friendship? Was it companionship? Was is love? Neither of them bothered to give a name to their relationship which was a little more that friendship but the one that they both never bothered to take to the level of romance.
And the day they stopped talking, didn't hurt this much, Why does it hurt this much to think that Arnav has moved on? Moved on? What does that mean? They weren't in a romantic relationship any time' Arnav would just fool around implying such relationship or pulling her legs' but they were not anything more than friends' best friends' and sometimes he did leave her confused with his actions making her think if he really meant those, but the next minute he would laugh like a moron and tease her'. He had always been like that with her' or was it that they took the beautiful relationship that they shared with eachother for granted? Was she in love with him? Was it the fact that amidst all the goofiness that he displayed around her, she wished he had actually felt a romantic inclination towards her? And now that her delusion is broken she is now left high and dry'.
The realization struck her hard, Kushi felt numb as she finally realized that right in the midst of all that friendship that they shared she had been in love with him and what she felt for him had never gone dry during the past years when they fought and stopped talking with each other. It had not changed when he lost his goofiness to the serious demeanor that he sports these days' amid all that, she had still loved him and that's why when she realized that he was in love with someone else now- hurts her so much'
"He had never been in love with you Kushi" She told herself "he never was and he would never be' you were a fool to think that behind those I love you jokes, there could have been some seriousness"
As she felt drained out and exhausted after a heart wrenching let out, she walked towards her book shelf and extracted an old note book, the one that she had used during the college days' The one that was a witness to a fight which stretched three years long- or may be can stretch years beyond as well'
She opened the first page and let her hand feel through the names written there.
There was Kushi Kumari Gupta written in her neat handwriting below which he had scribbled Arnav Singh Raizada. She smiled a little even through her tears and pain as the memory came back to her'That fateful day which started off as a very normal day for the duo but soon spun out of control.
"Hi" he whispered to her as he sat next to her
"Where were you? Why are you late again" Kushi hissed at him
"had some odd job'" Arnav told her "It doesn't make a difference anyway, Marsha Mam always lets me in.. She has a soft corner for me- unlike you"
"Oh yeah' I don't fall for those charms"
"Oooh' it hurts Kushi- don't look at me like that"
"Hey" Kushi looked at him weirdly as he put out his hand and pulled at the notes that she was writing on
"What are you writing on my notes?"
"my name"
"that's my notes and why do you write your name on it?"
"Because that will be your full name one day' when we marry" he winked at her
"WHAT?"
"What is it Kushi Gupta?" Marsha Mam called out from the dias
"Nothing mam' its just .. just that' "
"She didn't get your last sentence properly Mam"
"Oh" Marsha mam told and she repeated her last sentence
"Thanks mam" Kushi muttered as she sat down slowly, glaring at Arnav who was smirking at her
"Pay attention to the class Kushi"
"Shutup"
"Alright"
They were quite for 5 minutes before she turned to look at him
"What did you say you wrote your name for?"
"Hey don't look at me like that' If looks could kill I would be a dead meat now"
"'."
"Ok' I just wrote it in hopes that you will share your notes with me"
"Why should I?"
"Because I lost mine"
"Where did you leave it?"
"I don't remember"
"How careless can you get Arnav?"
"Kushi Gupta?" Marsha Mam's voice floated from the front "Why do you keep murmuring and disturbing the class?"
"Mam.. No.. I ..I"
"Are you a 5 year old? Do you expect me to keep reminding you to put your finger on your lips everytime?"
"Sorry Mam"
As she sat down, she saw Arnav smirking again
"you have a poor ability to keep your voice low Kushi' do you want help in putting a finger on your lips' Should I help you with that?"
She turned and glared at him and then turned back to the class. She didn't turn towards Arnav for the entire session after that though he tried talking to her all the while... When the class got over, she was so angry that she picked up her books and intended to leave the class.
"Hey where are you going?" Arnav asked her
Kushi knew that Arnav will follow her now, and she was irked to a large extent that she decided to get even with him on this.
"Sheetal" She called to her class mate who was standing outside the class
Sheetal turned to look at Kushi as Kushi gave Arnav a wicked smirk
"No Kushi"Arnav hissed at her
"Hey Arnav was looking for you.."She told Sheetal as she saw Arnav ducking below the table
"Arnav?" Sheetal asked coming inside "Where is he now?"
"hmm.. there under the table" Kushi said as she picked up her books and left' This will keep him from irking her for some time atleast.
Later that afternoon, when she made her way to the table where Arnav was sitting with NK, her anger had subsided
"Hi Guys" she said as she dropped herself on the empty chair beside him
"Hello, look who is here- Ms. Angry bird" Arnav told them and then turned back to her "Can you believe it man? She set Sheetal on me"
"You talk as if she set dogs on you" NK told him
"No difference anyway' I meant the bitch"
"That is rude Arnav.. the girl is head over heels crazy about you" Kushi told him as she smirked at NK
"Are you serious?" he asked her sarcastically "Where were you all this time? I had a hard time searching for you everywhere'"
"I was in the hhmmm.. No I wont tell you.. next time you piss me off like that' I would disappear into my secret place and you won't be able to find me"
"great!"
"I found your note book by the way" she told as she took it out of her bag and gave it to him "you had left it in the window sill of our class"
"Oh thanks" Arnav told her "next time I should leave it in a place where you cant find it so easily" he muttered
"What?" she asked as she didn't catch his last sentence
"Nothing"
"Why are you so absent minded Arnav? The other day you left your assignment somewhere and I had to serach your entire room to find it for you' why do you not care about your own things? It is as if I should always be behind you to take care of your things'"
"Get used to it wifey' When we finally marry, you should any way do it' Be happy I am training you right at this stage"
"Don't call me wifey" Kushi told as she smacked him with his notes
"The entire college calls you my wifey" Arnav told her "Why shouldn't I?"
"They don't call me that" Kushi told incredulously " they only say that we are seeing eachother"
"hmm, Isnt it boring' calling us that way for the past two years? Lets give them something new to talk about" he said as he pushed his coke to her
"YOU ARE INCORRIGIBLE" she said as she took his coke and sipped it a little.
"Guys Guys'" NK told them "Give me a break' It is tiring me' hearing you both banter all day"
"Ask him to stop all this NK' He is kind of pissing me off everytime'"
"Hey guys" La greeted them as she joined them at the table "whats up"
"Bickering between these two as usual and I am asking them to spare me" NK told her
"Whats it this time?"
"Oh nothing' Kushi wants Arnav to stop being a kid and grow up and Arnav wants kushi to stop being a mother hen" NK updated La
"being a kid? Its more like stop being a moronic, gooffer"
"You go all momma on him.. poor fellow you don't know how much you are pissing him off" La told her
"you too La'Seriously" Kushi started to say
"La, thanks so much'.Now there is someone who perfectly understands my situation" Arnav snickered at kushi
"Yeah' Support him now' that's what he needs'now you point me for his behavior' he is just a spoilt brat'... his entire family papmpers him just because he is a motherless child and If only his mom had been there to discip...'."
"ENOUGH KUSHI" Arnav raised his voice, cutting her inbetween
Kushi sat there stunned as Arnav pushed away his chair and got up and left the place.
After some 5 minutes, Kushi got up to leave.
"where are you going?" NK asked
"Oh to pacify and bring back Mr.Moody to life" she said as she walked in the direction where Arnav had left.
***
Even after repeated sorries and kajoling on Kushi's side, Arnav had not sobered up and so Kushi and Arnav had not been speaking the entire afternoon and NK and La grew tired acting as mouthpieces for them
"Guys, give us a break, we are not going to act as your mouthpieces anymore" La declared as NK nodded at them
Both sat quietly as the other two rolled their eyes.
"I am going to get a coke for myself- anyone of you want anything else?" Nk asked them all
"Hey you just got a coffee for yourself and its not finished" La pointed out
"I don't want it' its too strong for my liking" NK told as he got up to leave it near the sink
"Give it to me' don't waste it" Kushi told NK who pushed her his glass and got up to buy a coke
But before kushi could touch the glass, Arnav put his hand to take away the glass
"He has already tasted this"
"So what? We are friends"
"Its not hygienic to share glasses" he told her
"What?" kushi asked him in a surprised tone "Where did this hygiene go when you share your drink with me?"
"that's different"
"Whats different?" Kushi asked him trying to reach the glass beyond his hands as he stared at her, and then in a swipe took the glass and gulped down the hot coffee in a swig surprising her.
"You dont like coffee here" Kushi told him
La who was a quite witness to this exchange could only shake her head at her friends.
"you guys are seriously messed up" La told Arnav and Kushi as they both blinked at her "Guys, you know, if at all you both think that you need each other to spend your life time with- this is the right time to talk about it' but not doing so you are simply wasting your time"
"La'" Arnav grinned at her "Whats got into you.. you are supposed to be our friend' yo must know how we feel about eachother...just because I didn't let her drink NK's coffee' you decided that'OH MY GOD' I felt like having coffee and I just played it up- that's all"
Kushi kept staring at Arnav and La again shook her head.
"Whats up guys?" NK said as he returned back to the table
"Nothing big...'Atleast they are talking to eachother now" La updated him as he looked at them and commented "cool- thank god we are relieved now"
"Kushi" La called out to her in a quick tone "Don't turn quickly'Aman is there' to your right"
Kushi nodded at her and then acted normally. But this call had alerted Arnav again
"What about him?" he asked them scrunching his eyebrows at them and then taking a look at the boy beside his table and sizing him up. He caught the boy looking at Kushi, giving her a shy smile and then turn away.
"He has a crush on Kushi" La told Arnav
"Shut up La" Kushi told her
Arnav looked angrily at Kushi and then at La
"tell me" he almost barked at them
"nothing Arnav leave it" Kushi told them as she picked up her books, I need to go to the library before I head home
"Sit down" Arnav growled at her
"what"
He pulled her down
"Tell me what you both were talking about a little earlier"
"That's something between us girls' why do you want to know about it?"
"When did this happen between us Kushi? When did you start hiding things from me?"
"Arnav calm down' " La tried to pacify them
"Oh my god not again" NK muttered again
"Its nothing actually.." Kushi told Arnav but La cut in
"oh really' if so show us the diary that he gave you"
"Its nothing La- leave it" Kushi started to say before Arnav pulled her bag out of her hand and rummaged into it and pulled out a journal which he opened to reveal a lot of poems written on it.
"Arnav that was not decent"
"So is this decent enough then?" Arnav asked shoving the dairy on her face
"Arnav he only asked me check it out and comment on it" Kushi told him urgently as he got up walked towards that table and rammed it on that boy's table
"IS this yours?" He asked as Kushi went behind him and pleaded him to control himself
The timid first year boy stood up almost shivering from the glare of a senior that too a person who was so popular at college.
"Yes"
"Don't you know how to behave with your seniors? Don't you know that Kushi is a senior? How dare you write such poems on her? " Arnav went on as Kushi tried hard to stop him and the crowd gathered around them.
"There was no wrong intentions' Kushiji was just an inspiration" the boy strutted to Arnav.
"Next time I see you around her'." He threatened him
"STOP IT ARNAV" Kushi shouted at Arnav, surprising him and everyone else around' "he just asked me to review it so that he can publish it' what is your problem now?"
Arnav raised his eyebrows at her
"I am disgusted at this behavior Arnav" she said as she turned around and picked up her bag'"this is why I asked you not to tell this to Arnav" she told La and then left the place.
Arnav stood there shocked and stunned.
NK approached him as the crowd around them dissolved.
"Arnav" he said tentatively
"leave me alone NK"
"That's OK man..I'"
"I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE" Arnav shouted at NK.
***
Their quarrel extended for a week for the first time in their life.
Kushi knew that Arnav was possessive about her and that was the reason that he behaved like that in front of that boy. As far as possible Kushi had always put up with Arnav's possessive nature but this was too much.. off late he was acting like a Neanderthal around her, and every time he would say it was just for the sake of friendship and nothing more than that'
She decided not to go and calm him down like she usually did after she gave him an earful usually. Subsequently when she met Aman in the library, she apologized to him on her friend's behalf and volunteered to get his poems reviewed by that evening.
As she sat reviewing it and adding comments for those shayaris she saw someone peeping in from her behind and to her surprise noticed it was Arnav.
His glare told her that he was not very happy with what she was doing. But she wasn't going to stop it because he doesn't like it- not this time. For he was wrong this time and she was not going to let it go just like that.
But she never thought that this act of hers would induce an adverse effect on him, for her stunned surprise, she noticed that he started flirting with every other girl in front of her. She didn't mind this for she knew that he was just trying to rile her up. But she couldn't ignore for long and the final nail in the coffin had come when the DG night for the final years was announced and Arnav went and asked Sheetal in front of the entire college to be his dance partner.
Though Kushi had been very angry at first, she had decided to confront him and had actually confronted him when she went to his house with NK
"Tell him this is the most foolish thing that anyone could do NK"
"Ask her what is her problem NK"
"I don't have any problem with it' In fact I don't bother' whom he dances with'But Sheetal? He loathes her and still wants to dance with her just to irritate me"
"Irritate you?" Arnav asked directly "Don't think too much of yourself' You don't exist for me.. not from the day when you told I am disgusting in front of the whole college"
"Arnav" Kushi called out in shock "I never said you are disgusting'I only meant that that action of yours is'if you remember it right'I"
"I don't remember and I don't want to either' Its done Kushi' I have had enough"
"Fine then'I have had enough too'"
"NK, if she is so bothered about not having a partner, tell her that '"
"You don't have to worry about that' If you can ask Sheetal, I have people who have asked me too"
"that's a lie"
"come and see during the DG night if I am lying or not"
That was the last time they spoke to each other for three years'
To be continued'
Edited by abavi - 12 years ago
Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems
37