Member Topic: What makes us fall in love???

If someone is able to please all 5 senses so that includes sight, sound, touch, smell and taste. But actually you don't always get someone who is a match on all 5 senses but when you do it gives you a phenomenal sensation on your brain.

In my early twenties I used to convince myself I was totally above looks . Because I had gone out with somebody who had a major ' appearance deficit. ' Later I had to accept it was an exception, there was a big pay off in another way, like an exceptionally great personality. When the opposite happened; stunning guy that made heads turn but a dull boring personality I again thought I was above the ' shallow' folks who felt great about a good lookinh partner because I was bored by him. Both were extremes ; looks do matter. now in my thirties it's awful to have to deal with the reality of personalities Most people have bland run of the mill personalities ,if not downright shitty. So the pickings are slim and it's really unrealistic to hope the other person is going to intellectually stimulate you for the rest of your life . If it happens, great. But don't count on it.

. Humility. I find it so attractive and sexy. People who are actually humble ,willing to learn and are not afraid to talk about their flaws. If they're secure enough to be genuinely humble ,it usually means they've got other great things going for them. Like do you want a guy who would rattle off all the titles of the books he recently read referring to the authors only by their last names as if everyones supposed to know them or somebody who says "I love opera music but I'm not exactly sure which ones are by Puccini".

This is a big ask but somebody who is reasonable.

As for looks, pretty boys are a turn off. You know too much symmetry ,eyelashes and all that. A healthy guy who is hygienic and has a niceish face will do. Okay who am I kidding, Id fall for just just about any R'shole who is well mannered smells good and has nice feet. I mean... come on, you can have the nicest man in the world , great personality, great face,nice neck ,hardworking, honest , sincere respectful etc etc but if he has ugly feet where the toes are too far apart or not in line , and if you have to see them everyday for the rest of your life or the rest of his life it's simply not worth it. It's exactly like having a lovely house in a lovely neighbourhood right where you want it in the city but with a giant ugly purple flower painted on the wall of the living room that can never be removed or painted over. You will never love that house with your whole heart and the house knows it too.

Falling in love is something very personal, imo, and among hundred people you may find a stunning diversity of what made someone fall in love...

What Minty wrote is more what will keep someone to love another person (and I won't limit it to a lover with whom one also has a sexual relationship and/or spends the day-to-day life as life-partners).

I also think that one can fall in love multiple times... and it would be a gift by the Universe when one meets a person who has the effects Minty describes

pheromones

Love starts as a neurochemical spike and a brain pathway, but that is only half of it. The rest is the everyday choices you make for that person.

And this is applicable to platonic love too.

Buddhi bhrashtt!!!!!

I don't want to sound cliche and say that 'Opposites attract' but its been true for me. I tend to be attracted to people who embody the qualities I lack or lack at that moment. Once I develop that aspect/quality in myself, the attraction tends to fade... I like looking for people - who in some way or other - complete me.

But as for the definition of true love, I haven't quite figured it out. I think the closest thing to true or unconditional love is mother's love. Romantic love doesn't quite compare to it - or rather it hasn't in my experience.

Nice post!!