Asad was ambling towards his room when someone addressed him, causing him to stall on his way. He whirled around only to find Zeenat standing there in the almost empty hallway. Zeenat strode towards him and came to a halt just in front of him.
Zeenat: "Asad can I talk to you for a while?"
Asad frowned at the odd formality in her tone. Though they were not old and intimate acquaintances yet for the few days she had been living with them under the same roof, Zeenat was never so queerly formal with him, not even when she barged into their home for the first time during his and Zoya's dance practice for the Sangeet ceremony and beseeched him for a candid confirmation of whether or not their wedding was authentic.
Shaking off his thoughts, Asad replied courteously: "Sure Zeenat Aapi. Tell me what can I do for you?"
Zeenat : "Not for me Asad, but for your own benefit, you can be a little considerate towards other people."
Not quite understanding where she was getting by saying that, a befuddled Asad asked: "I'm sorry aapi but I don't think I understood what you are trying to say."
Zeenat inhaled deeply and met his eyes with a steady gaze as she replied: "Asad I have heard your conversation with Zoya this morning. I was present there, standing on the steps."
Confusion replaced by embarrassment, Asad looked away for a moment and, not quite meeting Zeenat's eyes, he replied: "It's not what you think. I can explain."
Zeenat : "It's not what I think that's important Asad, it's what you think that counts. Do you really think that someone like Zoya, who is ever ready to help anyone and everyone as much as she could, wouldn't come forward to help Tanveer when she was on fire? It only reveals how you haven't recognized Zoya till now."
Asad : "No aapi its not like that. I'"
However Zeenat was in no mood to listen to his excuses as she wished to clarify his misconceptions about her dear little sister and hence she interjected him: "I don't know what it is like Asad but I do know now that perhaps you don't know about her phobia regarding fire. "
Zeenat's words stirred a distant memory, the memory of a scared girl who woke up drenched and squealing after going through a horrendous nightmare. It was then that he recalled that she revealed in front of him of suffering nightmares concerned with fire and her phobia of fire.
"Oh Shit! What have I done!" was the only thing that he could think of.
He was about to say something but Zeenat continued: "As you already know Zoya had lost her mother at a very tender age. She was only three at the time. What you don't know is how that disaster happened and why my Zoya is so apprehensive of fire. It was fire Asad that had snatched away a loving and adoring mother from a 3 year old child. Her mother was burnt to death. And do you know what is even more unfortunate than that? A child had to witness the flames of fire consuming her beloved mother. And my Zoya witnessed her mother's death in front of her very own eyes. Can you even imagine what trauma she must have gone through? Even a grown up person won't be able to go through the affliction with a sane mind and she was just a child. I cant thank God enough that she didn't suffer a nervous breakdown. That fire was put off but my Zoya is still clutched within the grip of the flames of that fire. From early childhood she began to get frantic whenever she used to see fire and began to have nightmares where she would witness the same formidable incident again and again and would wake up screaming and drenched in sweat. We consulted the famous psychologist of New York Mr. Derek Sawyer. Mr. Sawyer subjected Zoya to a thorough examination. After that he told us that since she had witnessed the death of a beloved due to fire, her subconscious mind associates fire with death. The trauma she went through in those moments of her mother's death was pushed off to a subconscious corner by her brain to protect her from collapsing and she couldn't remember what exactly she had encountered. She would think of them as mere nightmares. And also he pointed out that she would suffer the nightmares only when she would see fire. So he advised us to keep her away from fire and we did. This is the reason that she became petrified and couldn't give you the shawl when you asked for it. It's her phobia that stopped her and not a lack of desire to help someone in trouble. That's not my Zoya and you should know better than to reach such a conclusion Asad."
As guilt and self loathing gripped him in their vicious clutches, he could say nothing and just squeezed his eyes shut. He could recall the frantic worry that coursed through him when his mother was lying on a hospital bed combating with the dark forces of death. He could well imagine what a kid must have gone through when she had seen her mother burning in flames of fire. When he opened his eyes again, all that reflected in them were intense self-loathing, contrition and agony.
Zeenat softened a bit seeing the affliction he was going through and placed a hand on his strong upper arm: "Asad sometimes some words said unconsciously suffice to tear our loved ones apart. So just be a little bit careful."
Having done all that was within her power, Zeenat left Asad standing immobile on the hallway as she realized that he required some lone time to process all the information she had divulged about Zoya's past and cogitate over her condition and his behavior.
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Zoya sauntered out to gulp some fresh air as she was feeling suffocated. She looked up at the fathomless depth of blackness of the sky lit with sparkling and twinkling little stars. She smiled desolately as she realized how much identical her life was with that night sky with twinkling stars. Just like that night sky, her life is also surrounded with darkness and only darkness. Just like those twinkling stars sometimes hopes entered her life but whenever she would start hoping, boom! the lights would go off and her hopes would be crushed. No matter how much she endeavored, she and Asad were back to square one where he did not trust her a bit. She squeezed her eyes shut, inhaled a deep breath and when she opened her eyes, something had hardened in their depths ' a determination, a resolution to stay away and within her limits, the limits of a guest, a stranger.
Zoya thought to herself: "Fine Mr.Khan. If that's what you want that's what you will get. I'll stay away not only from your Tannu but also from you. I know this wedding is unreal for you, a mere sham for your mother's shake. There was still a hope breathing inside me that may be, just may be you have feelings for me even after all your denials. But today after the way you accused me, you made me feel as if I'm the most sadistic person on the face of this earth who derives pleasure from seeing others in pain. Every time you misunderstood me, insulted and hurt me and every time I forgave you after a simple sorry, I nurtured the hope in my heart that some day you will believe me and show trust on me. Someday, I hoped, some day you will say that Zoya I trust you. But I was nothing but a fool, a fool to hope that I can ever be something more than a mere stranger, an unwanted guest to you Mr.khan. Now I know that I was and will always remain someone you abhor, someone you can never trust, some one who is an unwanted obligation to you. Though it hurts me too much to even think of it, but I know that the day will come very soon when you will call off the charade of the wedding and I will have to hear it from you. Why Asad? Why? Why couldn't I ever mean anything to you? (Tears of agony made their way down her soft cheeks, but she promptly wiped them off) No Zoya you are not weak. You are strong enough to go through all these and you will have to. I will stay away from Tanveer as well as Mr.Khan but with the rest of the family I'll be the same Zoya as phupi and Nazma love me unconditionally and they have welcomed me into the folds of their family openheartedly. "
Resolving to act on her decision, Zoya was about to retire to her bedroom when a sudden flash of something caught her eyes. She whirled around and was bemused to find Tanveer at a little distance from where she was standing.
Zoya (st) : "Strange! Tanveer is supposed to be ill than what is she doing here and that too at this time of the night? I should check up on her."
Zoya: "Tanveer! Tanveer! What are you doing here? You should be taking rest."
Now that badly startled Tanveer, who was out there plotting her way into Asad's life. She was not even wearing her contact lens and her intimidating white stone eye was in stark display.
Tanveer: "Oh no Zoya is coming here. My eye'what to do?"
Zoya who was ambling towards Tanveer was a little bemused on receiving no acknowledgements from her and also witnessing her fidgeting a little. Soon she neared her and placed her hand tentatively on Tanveer's shoulder. Slowly Tanveer turned around. Her eyes were normal again, with her lens right on place.
Zoya smiled softly: "Tanveer what are you doing here? You should be in your room you know. You should take rest."
Tanveer : "I was just going to return to my room. Actually I was feeling a little suffocated in there, so came out to breath in fresh air."
Zoya: "Hey that's okay. But Tanveer why didn't you respond when I called your name?"
That was something Tanveer didn't expect her to point out and hence she fumbled a bit: "I'I didn't hear you Zoya."
A befuddled Zoya replied: "you didn't hear me? But I addressed you by your name and that too quite loud."
Tanveer : "Ya..but.."
However someone interjected her in the midst of her explanations and saved her from being questioned again. Tanveer couldn't thank her stars enough for the intervention right on time.
"Ms. Farooqui"
Zoya whirled around to see Asad behind her. She turned to glance at Tanveer and then back at Asad and then looked away.
Before Asad could say something Zoya began: "Don't worry Mr.Khan, I wasn't hurting Tanveer and I'll stay away from her as you have said or rather warned me. It's just that I was asking her to take rest since she had recently survived an accident. That was all. Sorry to bother you. Have a Goodnight Tanveer, Mr.Khan."
With that she strode away ignoring Asad's voice calling out to her, as best as she could.
Asad : "Ms. Farooqui! That's not the issue here! Zoya! Wait Dammit!"
But his entreaties met with an intolerable silence as the person to whom they were addressed to have already left. Asad closed his eyes and ran his hand through his thick, dark hair.
(Next Morning at Khan Mansion)
Zeenat, Nazma and Dilshaad had already settled down on their respective chairs around the oval shaped oak table laden with sumptuous dishes ranging from cornflakes and bread jam to Dilshaad's delicious 'Paranthas'. Asad strolled into the dining hall in his usual pace but with an even more somber mood. He wished everyone and took his usual place of the head of the family on the table and picked up the newspaper. However today he couldn't just bring himself to concentrate even a bit, his mind was still buzzing with Zeenat's words and Zoya's first ever refusal to even listen to him. He was absent mindedly flicking through the pages of the daily as he rummaged his brains for ideas to confront Zoya and apologize to her as her uncharacteristically cold behavior last night candidly stated out that this time the damage is bigger and deeper. And he needed to sort it out. Though he didn't want to admit it even to himself, but he, somewhere, was missing her childish antics, her squabble with him every now and then, the spark that lit up her beautiful eyes. Before he could ponder any further, Zoya sauntered into the dining hall followed by Tanveer.
Cricket
