MG FF-Winter Sonata-Thread 6 - Page 32

Originally posted by: kawaii_geet

yiiippiiieee

Thanks Piya for the banner

All - Thank you friends for your comments. My daughter is not well so only one update a week. I promise I will try my best to write faster and give updates but it is becoming a real challenge for me to balance work, home and IF.

Gudmeet – Don't worry girl. You will get exclusive "Roop Tera Mastana" in setting and sequence. Right now, this is more like HP trip.

Drashti – I guess you can say it was like a twist. I planned to establish Meera's relationship and move forward the story. Now you will see Maaneet's relationship progression.

Anu(Hermoso) – You are so right dear. It is not easy to move on when past is still unresolved. It is not a mere memory for Geet but still a very active part of her life. She along with maan have to resolve it first before they can truly move ahead and I guess it is time for that now.

Lakshmi and Anu (Hermoso) – Oh I just loved those pics of birds and your lines about waiting for the update. Super sweet and cute.

Mishtiritu – Thank you for such a lovely poem. It is awesome and so beautiful depicting Geet's feelings so well.

VERY IMPORTANT: Please add ritzypm as buddy to gets PMs for this FF

Chapter 40 – Karoge Yaad toh

Wo aaye zindagi main mera saaya bankar

Har kadam par saath diya humnawa bankar...

Kadam ladkhadaya har mod par jab mere

Haath thame saath chale raah par mere...

Bina kuch kahe sab kuch kar gaye wo

Dil me mere ek alag tasvir chod gaye wo...

Mere har dard ki dawaa wo bante gaye

Khushiyo ki mehek zindagi me mere laate rahe...

Khuda ki jhalak nahi khud khuda ko unme dekha meine

Dil ki har ek dhadkan main ab unhe basayaa meine...

Dil ki baat unse kabhi keh na paati

zindagi bhar bas unki ibadat karti...

Atit ki parchaiyo ne fir ek baar zindagi me dastak di

Unki ankhon me sawal dekh khud ko rok nahi paayi...

Aaj mere beete kal ko unke saamne rakhungi

Dil pe diye ghav ko unke liye aaj fir se khured dungi...

Dard hoga par jaanti hu unka saath bhi to hoga

Unke pyaare labzo se in ghav ko fir bharna hoga...

Nayi zindagi de kar use jeena unhone sikhaya

Kho gayi thi kahi manzil par ab raasta unhone dikhaya...

By Mishtiritu

After a period of silence, Maan was stunned as she started answering her question in an almost emotionless calm voice. It almost seemed as if she was not telling about herself but narrating a story. He stopped all his urges to ask any questions as she started on the journey which has brought her to the current time in her life.

(Guys, I will be writing this mostly in English. Though I think Hindi will be more appropriate but I can't bother with huge translation time it will need.)

"When a child is born, usually people celebrate. They share sweets and congratulate each other. Though it is true for most part of the world but there are still some communities where when a girl is born, parents are taunted and family's shoulders stoop because a burden is born.

I am very lucky that way. I took birth in a small village in a rich zamidar's house. Born to the younger son of Sardar Sukhdev Singh Handa. I was indeed lucky. Lucky because my Bauji adored me. He was usually very busy but still whatever time he had, he will be with me and bring a smile to my face. He will take me with him to the farms on the tractor. I will play there with my brother and sister while he worked hard supervising the farmers. Then we will have our lunch together. Simple roti with my favorite achaar….

He was always there and he always did whatever he could…always.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHqMBAo6WM8&feature=related_embedded[/YOUTUBE]

Link - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHqMBAo6WM8

karoge yaad to, har baat yaad aayegee
gujarate wakt kee, har mauj thhahar jaayegee

My mumma, she is very hard working. She will be always doing something or the other. Looking after my Daarji, Tayaji-Tayiji, Veerji and my brother and sister. But still she will slip in one dish which I liked. Sometimes, she will manage a glass of milk or even money for my favorite golgappe. She will show me her dresses, her jewellery and we both will weave dreams….dreams full of happiness.

You will think what is such a big deal in this. After all every father pampers their daughter. Every mother showers her love on her child.

But I told you right…I am very lucky. I could not understand when I was very young that why my father worked so hard while my Tayaji just sat with my Daarji chatting and accompanying him wherever he went. Why my father felt so bad when his father shouted at him and how come Tayaji never made any mistakes.

I used to think that Tayiji is elder that is why only she sits and orders mummy…telling her what to do and what not. Veerji was strong and Daarji loved him because he was first born.

It was much later…almost mid-teens when I started truly appreciating my parents and understood how special they were. They shielded us and took burden and responsibility of giving birth to not one but two girls. And finally when they had a boy, they could not keep him safe and he did not grow up as strong as Brij Veerji. We were just a yardstick of proving our parent's worth and failed them miserably but yet they tried their best to protect us and give us everything parents could. I am lucky Maan sir that my parents love me so much in spite of bringing them only misery my entire life."

Maan's eyes got teary as he saw lines of tears on her cheeks. He moved ahead to wipe them but she wiped them herself with back of her hand.

She sniffled trying to control her emotions as he wondered if it was best to stop.

"Geet…I don't want you to get upset. Let's discuss this later."

ye chaand beete jamaano kaa aaeenaa hogaa
bhatakate abar mein cheharaa koee banaa hogaa
udaas raah koee daastaa sunaayegee

"No Maan sir, let me say. Today I want to tell you everything. My parents have been fighting a lost war for us. Be it Titoo's health, our studies or marriage.

My father always tried to stand up for me. At least for things which mattered. He may not have been able to stop Brij Veerji from shutting me in cupboard because I burnt his shirt while ironing or from canes when Daarji saw me without dupatta on my head but he did fight when he should have.

I still remember the day my Daarji slapped my father. Bauji had dared to say that he will stop eating if they continued to pursue my alliance. At that time I consoled myself but today I know that the only reason they stopped from marrying me to a 45 yr. old widower with 3 kids was because they got a better rishta. Unfortunately they will have to pay the dowry now but it helped in bolstering their image in the village and then being friend of Brij, money was going to come back in the family. After all Brij Veerji was promised expansion of business.

Groom was Veerji's very close friend's younger brother. My father had no more reason to stop the alliance. He was young, well settled with his own land and belonged to a good family. Tayiji was ecstatic as she told my mother

"Rajkumari ki kismet likha ke aayi hai teri Geet. Itna acha ladka dhunda hai jaisa tune sapnon mein bhi nahi socha tha. Woh to Brij ki wajah se maan gaye hain nahi toh aise ghar mein kaun deta hai itne ache ka haath jahan pe ya toh sirf ladkiyan ho ya phir bekar munda. Daarji ke sanskaar aur Brij ki wajah se mane hain woh log….ab jaa kar mithai bana aur khilao sab ko."

(Your Geet has the fate of a princess. We have found such a good alliance for her that you would not have even dreamt about it. They have agreed just because of Brij otherwise who gives hand of such a good boy into a house where either there are only girls or the only boy is useless. They have accepted just because of Daarji's status and Brij…now go and get sweets.)

I always knew that I will be married early. Insaan sapne bhi apni hasiyat ke hi hisaab se dekhta hai. I was also happy and thanked Babaji for getting a good man in my life. I also accepted this as my fate and found happiness in what Babaji had written for me.

I didn't even realize when time went by and I got married to Tejinder Singh. I can never forget the day I left my parents, Rajji and Tito and went away. That was the last day I was happy with them. I even went for a game of cricket with Tito and Rajji. Bauji caressed my head lovingly blessing me and Mummy did her best to explain me all the responsibilities of a wife but she didn't have to do much. I had seen and experienced life of a dutiful wife and daughter-in-law in my house since they day I was born.

I had seen Brij Veerji. His friends had to be like him. Any softness is a sign of weakness in a man. My husband, he was not a bad person. I remember it rained later on the night we got married and him picking me up from the window. He wasn't soft or gentle but then he wasn't too harsh either. Especially on the days when he was in good mood and hadn't drunk too much, life would be better. There would be no beating and I wouldn't be in too much pain in the morning. He even brought me a gajra once as a gift."

Maan looked appalled at Geet as she laughed a little drily making a joke of her own life. He could not fathom how someone could not cherish a beautiful and innocent girl like her. More than anything what suffocated him was the thought that her husband used to beat her and she just accepted it. How low her self-esteem must have been to just think it as normal and fate.

She answered his unasked question - "Mummy always told me that with time, we learn to adjust. Learn to find companion in the person who will stay with us for all our life. I also tried to find my life partner in my husband.

Days were just like my house except for now I was the younger daughter-in-law instead of my mother. It was easy as I was already used to getting up early and cooking for the house. All the chores came naturally and no one, not even Rajinder Bhai sahib – my husband's elder brother and Veerji's friend could be as harsh as Brij Veerji. Maaji was a similar version of Tayiji and nowhere close to Daarji in ferociousness. And bhabhi was actually quite sweet. Not too much demanding.

Overall I was happy. It was not very different from the environment in which I grew and it was gentler and better. As Tayji said, probably best a girl in my position could expect from her life."

barasataa bheegataa mausam dhuwaa dhuwaa hogaa
pighalatee shammo pe dil kaa mere gumaa hogaa
hatheliyon kee hinaa, yaad kuchh dilaayegee

Maan was horrified as her story continued. His mind boggled just with the thought that she found happiness in such a state. He sighed at the thought that sad but it was probably the reality of so many girls. But still, it was not acceptable to him that his Mishty, his Geet had this life and she was ok with it. Somewhere he was praying that at least she got her truly deserved happiness in whatever short time she got with her husband. But apparently she had been cheated there too by destiny and she just bore it all with silence.

He hugged her from shoulder as her tears became insistent and she cried profusely.

"I never asked Babaji for more than what I deserved but then why he did this to me. Why Maan sir. I had accepted the life he gave me without any complaints but he took away even that from me. Kehte hain ki ek aurat ki izzat utni hi hoti hai jitni ki uska pati uski karta hai. Toh phir jiska pati hi na ho…does she have no dignity?

I didn't even realize what I had lost when news of his accident came back home. Tears welled in my eyes because he was my husband and I had accepted him as my life. But was I bad wife and maybe that is why I didn't really understand what I had lost that night. Maaji was crying as well. It must have been hard for her. After all it cannot be easy to loose your son after loosing your husband. For a week so many people came and stayed there. I was sitting and crying but bhabhi was carrying. So someone had to make tea and food. I did it. It helped me take my mind away from what was going on and off course all those talks flitting around.

But the questions still remained. I don't know what the answers were but I kept on searching for them as the noise around me increased as everyone asked me again and again "Am I responsible for this? Am I the curse who took away a healthy man from his family? Was I not his family and had lost everything as well?

But questions didn't stop. They took away colours from me but it was not enough. They made my neck and hands bare but that was not enough.

Whispers, taunts, words but worst of all anger…anger in Maaji's eyes kept on asking me the question and I didn't have any answers. So I just bent my head and avoided her eyes.

After Terhavi everyone left. That night for the first time, in the coldness of my room, I felt for the first time meaning of loneliness."

"Your parents didn't take you with them?"

galee ke mod pe, sunaa saa koee darawaajaa
tarasatee aankho se, rastaa kisee kaa dekhegaa
nigaah door talak, jaa ke laut aayegee

She shook her head

"No. Once married, I was property of my in-laws. I was there to serve them.

That night I was truly alone. He may have forced himself on me at times, may have beaten me, never asked me about my day but I still missed him. He was my husband. At least he told me how his day was. At least I felt alive because someone made me feel something. At least I had someone who was my own. At least I had dignity, safety and security in his name.

But that night as I lay, there was no sound. No blanket. No light. Nothing but darkness with no guidance….no future.

I wished he was alive. I wished I was pregnant. I wished it was me who had died in that accident. No one, not even my mother would have accused my husband of my death. It would have been acceptable.

But no, none of that happened. I was just left alone."

Geet broke down completely crying in his arms remembering that night. All those memories rubbing salt on her wounds.

He murmured words full of solace as he rubbed her back trying to calm her down.

"Shh…Geet…bas"

She whimpered as she hid herself in his embrace. She was long past the point to know where she was and in what situation. All she knew was that she was in arms of the only man where she found little bit peace and her soul bared herself. Us se kya chapa jo mujh mein hi basa

Precap – Ye Duniya Agar Mil Bhi Jaye