The background song played on SBS segment yesterday didn't strike me initially but when I saw it a second time, the song really got into me and I realized that it's such an apt song to be played for Asad and Zoya on this very occasion.. I wish Cvs put this song on the background when Zoya is being brought by Dilshad and Najma.. Rahat Fateh Ali khan's voice and the lyrics of this song are too beautiful.And I felt like writing something based on this song.. hope you all like it.. Consider this as an OS if you would like.
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Asad stood at the drawing room of his home, greeting some guests and trying to make them feel welcomed. His whole house has been decorated today like never before. The walls are adorned with small twinkling lights and garlands of flowers. The chandeliers are lit casting a soft light across the rooms. Flower pots and huge vases of flowers, which his mother loves to grow, stood at every available corner of the house. Their smell mingled with the smell from the scented candles lit everywhere, soothed his nerves and made his anxious mind relax a little bit.
Since the morning he has been on edge...his anxiety and worry grew by the hour seeing his happy mother busy with all the preparations, without giving a thought to her ill health. He had tactically tried several times to keep her away from all of it but she would not budge and at last he had to resign himself to the fact that he has no heart to take his mother away from the happiness she is indulging herself in, with those preparations.
And then there was his Tamatar... he had not seen her laugh so much and nor had he seen this kind of glow on her face any time before. And he realized that all of this was for him. It hurt him too much thinking that after few days he would have to tell them both that all this was a facade and a lie and that he cannot marry Zoya... that he is not prepared to marry her or even anyone else.. But wait a minute.. how could he do it after all this? How could he tell them that he had given them a temporary happiness and that he had deceived them? Things have gone too far now and how could he break his mothers' heart by telling her that he is backing out of this. How could he let his mother be ridiculed again by all those people when her vow is not full filled because of him... because of his fears and his insecurities... Asad's thinking went round and round but he could not reach to any conclusion and he could not decide what he should do.
The only relief he had the whole day was that he had not seen Zoya today except once... Zoya had wanted to do the decorations herself and he had seen her pleading with her Phuppi to allow her to do that but his mother would not hear any of it and luckily for him, his mother had dragged Zoya to her room and had forbidden her to come out of her room, insisting that she had to take rest and be fresh for this evening.
And thanks to his mother he was spared from the turmoil of seeing Zoya and her penetrating stares and questioning eyes.. he definitely would not have been able to hold on and take it anymore if Zoya too had been around.
Hearing someone call out his name in greeting, Asad came out of his thoughts back to the present. It was Wasim Uncle, a distant relative of his mother, whom he has not met for a couple of years. Wasim uncle told him how happy he was when he came to know that Asad was getting married because he knew how much Dilshad always worried about Asad and Najma and their happiness. Asad knew that his mother always kept regular contact with some of these genuinely well wishing relatives of hers and he realized that all these people gathered here today were here just to wish them genuinely and participate in their happiness on this auspicious occasion which was a prelude to his Nikah.. a nikah which everyone was thinking is going to be there soon... the thought increased his worry and he sighed in frustration not knowing what to do. At that moment he wanted to do nothing but escape from all of it to a quite place where he can think and sort out all that mess. But he knew that perhaps there was no solution to this and perhaps there was no turning back from what was happening in his life right then.
He wondered why he had let things move this far. Was it only because of his mother's sudden bout of stress and ill health or was it because deep down in his heart getting married to Zoya was what he really wanted to do and so was he simply letting destiny take its own course which seems to be favouring what he deep down desired.
And then at that moment, Asad finally accepted to himself that getting married to Zoya would be the happiest thing that would happen in his life and that he really wanted it to happen... but he was afraid...afraid of hurting Zoya one day... and afraid that he may never be the kind of husband that Zoya really deserved. Zoya , the girl full of life... the one who spreads joy and tries to give happiness to everyone everywhere and has the courage to smile even in the darkest hours of her life. How could he marry her and hurt her one day and himself perhaps be the reason to permanently wipe away that smile from her face?... no he cannot and would not do that to Zoya.
His thoughts were interrupted once again by the feeling of a sudden change in the atmosphere. He realized that most of the people had stopped talking and was turning towards the staircase. But then the sudden hush did not last long when a song started playing softly on the background... and at that very moment he then saw the three most important people of his life slowly descending the last few steps of the stairs and head towards the guests... Zoya on the middle, flanked on her right by his mother and Tamatar on her left...
His mother's beautiful face portrayed a happiness which he had not seen for ages. And he could also see that her smile was of satisfaction and contentment and her gaze kept on lingering on Zoya with something akin to pride as well. His own gaze then traveled to Zoya, the obvious reason for his mother's happiness... Wearing a light and dark blue Salwar suit, her hair pinned to one side with some tendrils caressing her cheeks, she was the epitome of beauty. He wondered how she could appear more beautiful each time he saw her dressed this way. Then, right at that moment Zoya suddenly turned towards him as if sensing his gaze and thoughts upon her.
And the moment their eyes met, time stood still for Asad... every confusion in his heart, everything that was happening around him and everyone who stood around just faded away and the only reality for him at that moment was just Zoya and what he feels for her.
Dil ko aaya sukoon tere deedar se haaye..
Dil ko aaya sukoon tere deedar se
Ab na hona rukhsat apne dildar se haay
( There is peace in my heart, upon seeing you,
Now don't go away from your lover..)
Bin tere ik lamha, ab reh nahi paata hai
(Now without you, i can't live even for a moment)
And then suddenly right there and then he acknowledged a truth that he had been avoiding to accept all these days... the truth of what Zoya means to him. He may still deny this marriage and say that it's all pretense and tell his mother later that he could not marry Zoya... but he knew that he could no longer deny his feelings towards Zoya. She had come to mean everything for him and he cannot imagine how he would live without her even for a moment.
Ye ishq mere Allah kitna tadpata hai (x2)
Kabhi aahein bharta hai
Kabhi dil dhadkata hai
Ye ishq mere Allah kitna tadpata hai
(This love, my God, makes me so much restless.
Sometimes it makes me sigh,
Sometimes it makes my heart beat faster,
This love, my God, makes me so much restless.)
Yes he could no longer deny his feelings towards her... She is the woman who irritates him... She is the woman who keeps him on edge and makes him sigh in frustration at times... But she is also the woman who could bring a smile on his face with her antics and her childishness...and she is the only woman whose nearness makes his heart beat faster... And the thought of anything happening to her and the thought of being away from her makes him so restless.. He knew that he would any day give even his life to keep her happy... to keep her safe.
Dard tanhayi ka, dooriyon ka mausam
Naa jiya jaaye na, bekasi ka aalam
(The pain of loneliness, this season of distances (separation),
I am not able to live through this time of helplessness..)
Tere ehsaaso ki chaadarein bunti hoon
Mai tere khwabon ko neend me chunti hoon
(I weave covers(bed) of your feelings..
I pick (select) your dreams in my sleep..)
Her dreams have become of him. and his feelings surround her even in her sleep and what matters to her awake and in dreams as well is his feelings.
Dil ko aaya sukoon tere deedar se
Ab na hona rukhsat apne dildar se haay
Now don't go away from your lover..)
Kabhi aahein bharta hai
Kabhi dil dhadkata hai
Ye ishq mere Allah kitna tadpata hai.
Tera ishq ishq ishq...
(Sometimes it makes me sigh,
Sometimes it makes my heart beat faster,
this love, my God, makes me so much restless.
Your Love, love love...)
Bas tere pehlu mein Jeene ki chaahat hai
(I have only a wish to live under your wings..
You're my life, there is satisfaction through you only.. )
Finally Zoya realized that they had been lost in each other for quite some time.. she then sighed softly and looked away, in an attempt to hide what her eyes might betray to others...but it is at times like this that she knew that Asad loved her... she felt like walking up to him then and there and tell him that she wanted this marriage to be real. She wanted to become his wife because she knew that they both feel something towards each other which could not perhaps be even described by words... she wanted to tell him that there is only one wish in her life right now... to be his wife and to live under his protection... to be cherished by him and to cherish him in return because he had come to mean to her, her life..
Jab duaa maangi hai
Bas tujhe maanga hai
Saanson ki galiyon mein tujhko hi paaya hai
(When I prayed, I have just asked for you (to be mine) only..
In the streets of my breath, I have found only you.)
She had always prayed for love and happiness in her life.. But how could she have ever imagined that, to her happiness would one day mean only one thing or one person... Asad Ahmed Khan... And today in all her prayers she asks for only one thing.. ..to be besides him for forever.
Dil ko aaya sukoon tere deedar se
( There is peace in my heart, upon seeing you,
Now don't go away from your lover..)
Ye ishq mere Allah kitna tadpata hai (x2)
Kabhi aahein bharta hai
Kabhi dil dhadkata hai
Ye ishq mere Allah kitna tadpata hai
Tera ishq, ishq, ishq...
Zoya came out of her reverie when Dilshad gently touched her shoulder and indicated to her that she should come and sit so that they could start the Rasms. Dilshad then brought Asad and made him sit next to Zoya.
Zoya could feel how hesitant he was to sit beside her. But then, seconds later once again she felt his gaze upon her and involuntarily her own face turned towards him...And the moment their eyes met, time stood still for them once again...but they both heard the song that was playing in the background... . the song gave a meaning and definition to what they both were feeling right then... and at that moment nothing else mattered to them except that moment in time and each other... and their love... And they finally knew beyond any doubt that they love each other... no words and no confession was needed... their eyes conveyed to each other what their hearts felt. 😃
link to the audio:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwJmfMPlXaU
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