Part 26
His gaze went back to her quivering lips.. he leaned closer with his heart beat raising.. Mk she gasped & innocently looked at him.. he rested his head breathlessly on her forehead
"why don't u marry Sam, I know u don't believe in vows but" she held his hand & lead to his heart.. "u love her" "it will make u believe it"
he looked at her lovingly.. her hand in his over his heart.. her every word
"Maan"
Now that we are close, he squeezed her closer, I think you should call me by my first name.
She stood frozen blankly staring at his face. "M-A-A-N" resonating in her
The name she would have said it million times in her mind.. in her soul.. in every beat of her heart but to hear it.. to voice it.. it give it whimper her heart stopped. A fear engulfed her speaking that name now.. wondering if it will be even heard if she spoke. M-A-A-N is the word that died on her lips, the tear that rolls down on her cheeks. M-A-A-N was the wish that went unfulfilled, the prayer that was never heard. He could have been happiness that filled the world to brim still the pain that made her empty from within.
It can't be a mere coincidence every rationality of her cried. Is it him her heart so wanted to ask.. her lashes didn't dare to look at him with those emotions deep in. For she knew her heart will want to believe it losing in his dark deep eyes.
Her grip loosened invariable he gripped it closer & tucked her closer
I don't know Geet.. I don't know any more
mujhe nahi maloom ki main vows ko mantha hoon ki nahi
she was at lost & his vulnerability only made her more fragile
main Sam se shaadi .. he sighed
it was a deep buried painful moment if his life. It took him a lot to speak it out. He was getting emotional & terribly conscious but never he got this close to voice it out. Something in her, he just wanted to pour his heart out. Free himself from the pain.. like he knew only she could free him.
Hum saadhi karne wallen the, she had planned everything
Geet was in her own agony unaware, unprepared of the storm that was heading towards she fluttered her lashes couple of times to stop the tears from shedding with the mere word that reverberating with in her! trying hard to concentrate on his words
After long time things seemed to look brighter, I was also pretty hope full with this juncture of life.
A tear slipped his eyes remembering those days.. remembering the happiness in Sam eyes ordering the dress.. cake.. wedding ring.. magalsutra. He choked, his mouth went dry when the thought of his little brother went missing shattered all their plans. How could he plan a future when his baby brother was in trouble.
He held her hand closer to his heart. His other hand around her waist tucked her even closer like he just wanted her to consume him, away from all this pain. I had to travel to India for personal reasons. Even with his darkest of confession he couldn't let go his brothers sin. Though he hated him for his deeds but the love that he held for him deep within didn't let him speak bad abt him.
Events that followed forced me in a situation where I had to take those vows with her!
If she had not died million times before she just did now
he dipped his head on her head.. tears pouring
trust me Geet, I don't believe in any of those vows.. it was like stabbing her heart naked
I don't believe that thing of going round round around the fire.. she closed her eyes.. his tears.. poured along with his not on those traditions... nothing just nothing
after the marriage before any further function I wanted to speak to the girl & tell her my stand
she didn't want to hear a word more. But she felt like, that new bride waiting to hear that stand from him right now. Wondering if this was more painful or hearing that her husband died that night was more painful.
I hate this hypocrite people ' ek taarf they speak of tradition, custom, vows.. on the other side he was furious .. mad something. She couldn't understand anything. The world seemed spinning around her. She didn't know wat was real & wat is fiction anymore. Is she standing with him today or her waiting for her husband that night !!!
Before going to her place I had to visit a place near her village. He couldn't tell wat crude reality he faced there. The darkest female creatures he heard abt. The little respect he had for Indian women he lost that day. He pulled way now looking at her agonized
Even though I didn't believe in any of these I had to take her with me. She was my responsibility
I went to her village
can u believe they refused to talk abt her
I tried my best to speak to few people.. since her family members refused to meet
they spoke like she is paapi.. she is sinful.. she broke all the laws of the community
he was going mad at self for biding himself to that women who didn't care abt anything, not her family, not those vows least abt him. Even though he didn't believe in any of those vows he wanted to give her right or atleast part their ways more decently than just abandon her.
He searched her face for reaction
Geet was blank right now
she stepped away from him. He didn't let her go. He slowly raised his finger to her chin & raised her eyes to meet his. His heart was torn with the painful whirlpool in them. He wanted to say so much.. but muted seeing her like that
he searched her eyes to know wat hurt her so much, did he make a mistake confiding in her.
Wat do u think she did .. when he least expected
for the moment he didn't even know whom she was refereeing to.. it took a him little longer to realize it was abt the girl whom he was married to.
by the talk from villagers he had understood the girl had left the family. She brought defame to them. He had not given a thought wat she did. A mistake of convince just surfaced.. a side of the picture he never saw emerged. She left... he said still lost in his own words
not that I am attached to her.. I don't even know who she is, or wat her name is
but dammit those vows don't leave me in peace
I don't believe in them, I don't believe in that marriage. Probably that girl... he wanted to say something but the look in her eyes arrested his tongue.
He looked away guilt fully, so many time I wanted to let go & move forward with Sam.. at least give the happiness she deserves.. but couldn't.
The silence that followed calmness as painful as an empty void. Everything just vanished as though never existed, even though it is imprinted deep with in, she failed to express the storm within & he failed to read her silence.
Thanks for the lovely comments
lots of love
muskan
Edited by muskanp - 12 years ago
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