U are a Desi IF........

1. You go to drop off one person to the airport, but you take 50 extra people with you

2. "Paracetamol" is your cure to every illness

3. Your remote control is still in its plastic packet

4. You secretly watch "ZEE T.V." but pretend you've never heard of it

5. At the age of 30, you still think you can get away with paying child fare on the bus

6. You have a telephone at home but nobody is (ever) allowed to use it

7. You find a photo of a man with bushy hair, white shoes and sunglasses…you ask who he is and find out it's your uncle

8. You dance at a complete stranger's wedding (and claim you are a distant relative)

9. You achieve A*'s in every subject and your parents tell you to STUDY HARDER

10. Your car is better than your house

11. Universities let you in for Medicine just by looking at you

12. There is a tub of "PRIDE GHEE" and a sack of "TILDA BASTMATI" in your hallway

13. You are unable to open your front door because of the pile of shoes blocking the way

14. Your parents have a PANIC ATTACK when something dirty comes on t.v.

15. You have to offer guests tea even before they've stepped into your house

16. You address every other Asian person on the planet as "your cousin"

17. Girls: Your brother thinks he's your dad

18. You know how an Indian film will end even before it's started (but you still watch it)

19. You go to a wedding with an empty car, but on the way back you end up giving the entire population of the wedding a lift home (and you haven't seen half of these people in your life)

20. At school, your parents were never aware of Parents' Evening (…and if they did attend Parents' Evening and you got a bad report, you told them that the teachers were all racist)

21. You arrive late at every party

22. At weddings the cameraman only ever cameras you when you're eating

23. At parties, you wear more glitter and sparkly bits than a Christmas tree

24. You get over-excited when you see another Asian person on t.v.

25. You are constantly being compared to every other Asian kid on the Planet

26. You pronounce English words in a typical accent when speaking to your parents e.g. toilet: "Toylat"

27. You never go to the library "to work"

28. You always have suitcases on top off the cupboards

29. You think your life is a indian film

30. Your parents own the corner shop down the road

31. When your on your way home from the restaurant your mum picks up a whole bunch off napkins and shoves them in her purse

32. You talk for an hour at the frontdoor when leaving someones house

33. When you have gatherings at your house, there are about 10 conversations going on around in one room very loudly

34. You have annoying nicknames like "chotu"

35. Your family drink atleast 6 cups of tea a day

36. Your parents still try to get you in at places for half price saying you were "12" when your really 15

37. Your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head

38. Your parents buy you shoes and clothes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come