Chapter 04: Retrogradation of sanity
After speaking to Dr. Jha, she had spent the rest of the evening in her cell refusing to go out to the rec room and watch TV. Her mind was traveling to the places she didn't want it to go – like her past. Being labeled criminally insane was worse than giving her lifetime imprisonment in a high security prison. She slid her hand under her shirt and traced the long red scar that had permanently disfigured her torso. It stood out awkwardly on her pale smooth skin but the scar had given her a sense of detachment from her own body. When she was in prison waiting for trial, she used to wait till everyone took their shower so that she could hide her nakedness from fellow women inmates. She was surprised to realize that her shyness stemmed out from a vanity she didn't know existed within her. She had seen women giving her body an once-over in the common shower stalls and policemen leering at her in private. But now she knew exactly the kind of response it generated. She had seen it in Dr. Jha when he had grimaced at the scar and turned his head away.
She still remembered the day the hidden vanity came out splashing to surface and died a miserable death. She was released to her parents' custody when court ruled that if she didn't enter a psychiatric facility voluntarily in two weeks, she would be put into one which the court deemed suited for her. On the third night of her return he had struck.
After that everything had changed.
She closed her eyes tightly as the memory of the attack became fresh in her mind. She didn't realize that her cell door was opened with a loud bang and a doctor was standing at the foot of her bed waiting.
"Khushi?" She heard a woman call. She opened her eyes and looked at the middle aged woman in white coat escorted by three nurses standing.
"Can I help you?" She asked sitting up.
The woman smiled. "I am Dr. Malvika. I am one of the resident doctors here and am available throughout the day. We will be talking to each other quite often, going forward." She said looking at her chart. "Why aren't you in rec room now?"
Khushi shrugged. "I didn't feel like it." She replied simply.
"Is there something specific you don't like in that room?" The doctor asked.
Khushi laughed. Dr. Malvika looked at her not knowing why she was reacting that way. "I hate to break it to you doctor but the bunch out there aren't exactly the kind of company I would like to keep. I am not that keen on watching TV anyway. Give me a book any day," she replied.
"I will consider that request." Dr. Malvika replied evenly.
Khushi laughed again. "What do you think I can do with a book doctor? Die of paper cuts?"
Malvika smiled. "You could tear the pages and stuff it into your mouth effectively gagging yourself and die. The content in the book can trigger an unsound memory which may induce a psychotic rage with potential homicidal tendencies. Need I go on?" Malvika said realizing that she was talking more than necessary. Khushi wasn't dumb to not know what she was talking about. Then why did she act momentarily naive?
"Do I have to take so many medications?" Khushi asked jumping to another subject. Dr. Malvika looked up from the chart and seemed visibly confused. "I was given some after lunch today." She added for good measure.
"These medications will help you Khushi. I consulted your Dr. Jha and several others on medical board who testified in your case and they have collectively agreed to this prescription." The doctor replied kindly.
"What are you treating me for?" Khushi asked directly. Malvika's smile vanished and she peered at the latest patient closely.
"I don't find a reason to disclose that information to you," she said.
"Aren't I entitled to know?" Khushi challenged.
Malvika smiled then. "Of course one is entitled to know if they are not declared insane."
Khushi simply shrugged. "That's fine then." She let it go easily.
Malvika was momentarily surprised by her easy attitude but didn't pay heed. She had read in Khushi's file that she was a manipulator who minced words effectively. Narcissism was visible in Khushi's personality but there weren't enough psychological evidence to substantially support that claim. She hid her true persona very well.
"Why don't you go outside and watch some television Khushi? In the meantime I will arrange a book for you." The doctor said kindly.
Khushi readily agreed and walked out of her cell after the nurse checked her blood pressure.
"She is unpredictable," one of the nurses, Vidya, commented.
"She isn't unpredictable Vidya but merely controlling all her actions, words in a systematic manner. Once you break that barrier, she won't be any different." Dr. Malvika replied.
"How are you going to do that?" Vidya asked opening the office door for her boss.
"We will start ECT for her after couple of weeks. Let the newbie settle in first." Malvika replied nonchalantly.
"But we would need approval for that from Dr. Jha isn't it, given how he is Khushi's state appointed psychiatrist?" Vidya asked chewing her lower lip.
"We will deal with it the way we always have Vidya. Dr. Jha isn't going to be any different from the other doctors," Malvika said confidently.
Vidya hummed. "Why are you so interested in Khushi, doctor?" She asked.
Malvika took off her coat and settled on her couch with a glass of white wine. "She is the only surviving victim of the punisher Vidya."
Vidya nodded in realization. "Oh, him: the morally upright serial killer who kills those who work their way out of judiciary system."
"He didn't see her entering this facility as a punishment because it technically isn't," Malvika said.
"What has that got to do with us?" Vidya asked not understanding where Malvika was going with it.
"Using Khushi, we may finally be able to understand why he didn't kill her the way he killed other people. And if we play our cards right, we may even catch him," Malvika said smiling.
Vidya smiled in response knowing what it meant; name, fame and popularity amongst peers. Dr. Malvika will finally get the due recognition she deserved and the blemishes of the past will be permanently erased.
Thanks everyone for your kind wishes. I am happy to tell you that nothing is broken :=) I am just badly bruised which hot pack and yoga can fix in couple of days..
Thanks again!
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