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Read some reports on Chhanchhan going the typical saas bahu way. Also watched Jolly LLB over the weekend. Sparked some thoughts in my mind.
I have to mention another saas bahu show ruling the roost today ... some friends and I had a discussion that one of the reasons it rules is because it addresses a section of the audience where it is difficult for a woman to raise her voice, because of deep rooted conventions and traditions. Hence the MIL is shown as a traditional MIL, and her beliefs are attributed to lack of education ... in other words, she has an excuse for behaving the way she does, hence we take her as not being purely black, but grey ... her POV is understandable because of her background.
Chhanchhan on the other hand, we brand Uma Ben as being pure black.
But is she all that unreal?
The highest rates for female foeticide in India are in Punjab, one of the wealthiest states of India. Even worse, the rates are higher among the so-called "educated" classes.
So what excuse do they have? Can't say lack of education here is a reason, can we? And the basic reason for female foeticide actually comes back to dowry, well, one of the reasons, anyway. The girl child is a burden because she is 'paraya dhan', she will go off to her in-laws and it's the son who will be the support in his parents' old age ... and when the daughter goes, she has to married off with a lot of pomp and splendour, and given gifts ... which can impoverish the parents. And the more educated the groom ... a doctor, engineer, lawyer, government servant ... the HIGHER is the dowry. So education does not seem to have helped to eradicate the system, it has actually made it worse. And dowry being a punishable offense, it is now cloaked under the guise of "gifts".
Other saas bahu shows are comfortable to watch, because one can keep them at arm's length, ignore them ... and say "Oh this is not about us, this is about the uneducated masses."
But if dowry was only happening among the uneducated masses, then it wouldn't be a problem in cities, would it? Female foeticide would happen only in poor villages, and not in rich urban settings ...
My mom asked me this question ... if a girl is in love, getting married, and the guy at the last minute tells her that his parents want dowry and he also thinks there is nothing wrong with their demand ... what should the girl do? Especially if the dowry is not going to impoverish the girl's parents, but is not going to the girl either ... like "gifts" for the boy's parents, siblings, relatives, a demand to have the wedding in a five star hotel, have at least five functions, etc etc ... Demands which may not impoverish the parents, but will strain their resources and may be more than what they had planned to spend. What should the girl do?
Many educated people make these demands, because they feel their standing in society demands this. And most parents give in, because they feel it is a one off thing. They may be right, they might be wrong. If they are wrong, it could be tragic for their daughter.
Also when a girl gets married, it is a custom in some communities that the girl's maternal grandfather, or failing that, her mamas (mother's brothers) are expected to finance the girl's wedding dress and jewelry. Again going back to the perception ... a girl is a burden from birth until death.
Touching on the other evil shown ... bribery ... that is definitely not about the poor uneducated masses... that is about the rich using their money and power to get away with murder. As was shown in Jolly LLB, as happened in the real case it was inspired from, as happened in the Jessica Lal case. Okay, these are big things ... But small everyday instances ... bribing a police constable when you skip a red light, bribing a govt official for a phone connection, using "pull" or contacts to skip queues ... that's done by people with power and money ... they also happen to be educated. Small things, but they reflect the problems in society today. I think everyone who has contacts at shrines like Vaishno Devi, uses some contacts to get darshan quickly and skip the queue ... use or misuse of power and authority? How many times have you see the windows of expensive cars roll down and people throw out trash on the roads while driving?
Chhanchhan might be a typical saas bahu show, or it might not. But with the setting it's based in, it will throw up some interesting scenarios. Supriya P might or might not be typical evil saas ... but she is already a reflection of some of the problems in the educated classes of India.
I have to mention another saas bahu show ruling the roost today ... some friends and I had a discussion that one of the reasons it rules is because it addresses a section of the audience where it is difficult for a woman to raise her voice, because of deep rooted conventions and traditions. Hence the MIL is shown as a traditional MIL, and her beliefs are attributed to lack of education ... in other words, she has an excuse for behaving the way she does, hence we take her as not being purely black, but grey ... her POV is understandable because of her background.
Chhanchhan on the other hand, we brand Uma Ben as being pure black.
But is she all that unreal?
The highest rates for female foeticide in India are in Punjab, one of the wealthiest states of India. Even worse, the rates are higher among the so-called "educated" classes.
So what excuse do they have? Can't say lack of education here is a reason, can we? And the basic reason for female foeticide actually comes back to dowry, well, one of the reasons, anyway. The girl child is a burden because she is 'paraya dhan', she will go off to her in-laws and it's the son who will be the support in his parents' old age ... and when the daughter goes, she has to married off with a lot of pomp and splendour, and given gifts ... which can impoverish the parents. And the more educated the groom ... a doctor, engineer, lawyer, government servant ... the HIGHER is the dowry. So education does not seem to have helped to eradicate the system, it has actually made it worse. And dowry being a punishable offense, it is now cloaked under the guise of "gifts".
Other saas bahu shows are comfortable to watch, because one can keep them at arm's length, ignore them ... and say "Oh this is not about us, this is about the uneducated masses."
But if dowry was only happening among the uneducated masses, then it wouldn't be a problem in cities, would it? Female foeticide would happen only in poor villages, and not in rich urban settings ...
My mom asked me this question ... if a girl is in love, getting married, and the guy at the last minute tells her that his parents want dowry and he also thinks there is nothing wrong with their demand ... what should the girl do? Especially if the dowry is not going to impoverish the girl's parents, but is not going to the girl either ... like "gifts" for the boy's parents, siblings, relatives, a demand to have the wedding in a five star hotel, have at least five functions, etc etc ... Demands which may not impoverish the parents, but will strain their resources and may be more than what they had planned to spend. What should the girl do?
Many educated people make these demands, because they feel their standing in society demands this. And most parents give in, because they feel it is a one off thing. They may be right, they might be wrong. If they are wrong, it could be tragic for their daughter.
Also when a girl gets married, it is a custom in some communities that the girl's maternal grandfather, or failing that, her mamas (mother's brothers) are expected to finance the girl's wedding dress and jewelry. Again going back to the perception ... a girl is a burden from birth until death.
Touching on the other evil shown ... bribery ... that is definitely not about the poor uneducated masses... that is about the rich using their money and power to get away with murder. As was shown in Jolly LLB, as happened in the real case it was inspired from, as happened in the Jessica Lal case. Okay, these are big things ... But small everyday instances ... bribing a police constable when you skip a red light, bribing a govt official for a phone connection, using "pull" or contacts to skip queues ... that's done by people with power and money ... they also happen to be educated. Small things, but they reflect the problems in society today. I think everyone who has contacts at shrines like Vaishno Devi, uses some contacts to get darshan quickly and skip the queue ... use or misuse of power and authority? How many times have you see the windows of expensive cars roll down and people throw out trash on the roads while driving?
Chhanchhan might be a typical saas bahu show, or it might not. But with the setting it's based in, it will throw up some interesting scenarios. Supriya P might or might not be typical evil saas ... but she is already a reflection of some of the problems in the educated classes of India.
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