Chun chun chun. The sound of Kumud's anklets faded as Saras walked toward the jeep, surrounded by police officers. Every single cell in his body willed him to look back at her one last time before departing with the authorities, and it took all of his willpower to deny his body's request and continue walking.
He stepped into the jeep and kept his gaze straight ahead. There was already a dangerous, destructive whirl of emotions in the Mandir inside of the Desai haveli. And all Saras could think about was the raw vulnerability, the tender longing him and Kumud shared. He closed his eyes and her Goddess-like face presented itself to him: milk chocolate skin, exotic eyes, a quaint nose, full lips, and a faint blush in her well-constructed cheeks. He opened his eyes, hoping to manifest that mesmerizing face before him. But of course, he couldn't.
Saras looked straight ahead and repeated Kumud's name over and over in his head until it reached his heart. He let her laugh, the very bubbly and husky laugh she had, ring in his ears. He remembered her scent and let the memory of her infuse itself into his mind, into his body, and into his soul. He then, simply and easily, replaced his own heartbeat with her existence. And that's how he erased all of his fears of the unknown. He was now truly ready to face whatever was threatening to break him.
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As Saras was leaving with the authorities, Kumud had involuntarily run after him. These days involuntarily running after Saras seemed to be normal for her. She never understood why she always wanted to protect him. Was it instinctively? She didn't know. All she knew was that when he felt pain, she felt double the hurt. When he smiled, her heart fluttered with joy like a songbird. And when his grand, mesmerizing almond eyes gazed into hers so tenderly, yet so passionately, she felt as if she was in a complete trance. Suddenly her insides were melting and her mind and heart were in complete turmoil. The truth was Saras made her feel alive. And he had done so much for her family in the few days that he was present in her life.
And here he was, taking the blame for something he did not do once again. Just so her family didn't have to suffer, he did. Yet she promised herself, she would do all she could to make sure Saras didn't suffer. And if he did, she wouldn't let him do it alone.
She suddenly took a step back, and turned to walk into the house. What kind of relationship did they share? Minutes ago, Saraswatichandra had told her he was leaving forever. He didn't even bother to answer her when she asked him why he rejected her. He was right when he said she had suffered because of him. Never in her life had she felt such soul ripping pain than when she had from his rejection. So why was it that the pain he was in affected her even more than her own? What type of relationship was this? And why was this bond so magical, so tense, so intense, and so spiritual?
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As the police officer locked Saras into the jail cell, the only thing, or rather, only person he had on his mind was Kumud. Being so far from her made him terribly anxious and nervous. "Please," he prayed "please don't come here and create a scene."
He suddenly wondered why he was thinking this when the only person he longed to see was her. It was absolute truth when he said he was really sorry for putting her into such a painful situation. He didn't want to cause her further pain. He didn't want to be a reason for her to worry. Such a being deserved all the happiness in the world... not worry. Especially if that worry was him.
So there he stood, partially angry at himself for being unable to deny what his heart and soul craved, and partially worried for the love of his life's wellbeing.
He silently promised himself that this was just a phase. After all, he had hurt Kumud possibly beyond repair. So what was it that made him continue to need her despite the fact that he hurt her so many times? What relationship did they share?
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Kumud sat down, disregarding where she was. She simply gazed into nothingness, lost in her own misery and thoughts. All she could do was remember the warmth of Saras' large hands as they made pots late into the night. All she could do was remember his warmth beside her during the cold night, and his strong touch as he caught her when she fell. "Please take care of yourself," she told him telepathically. Her heart lurched as she realized she was yet again praying for him. Again, her memory went back to his beautiful brown eyes, surrounded by his magnificent eyelashes. It was those eyes that were her foundation when she felt like crumbling into dust.
But her eyes still longed for the man who made her feel powerful things she had never experienced before. And it was those eyes that continued to tear up with grief and despair of not being able to be to help him take on the burden he was taking.