Disposable - Page 5

thank you. I just love your dissection of the plot. Hang in there, you will find out in a chapter or two why she is being the way she is. The Gautam comparison is not a conscious thought (nice idea)😉

So time for me to quit over using my mind I guess... but you have accept the similarity is there...lol...I have to say you are a born writer Jasleen...I just wish you would explore more of your blessing and use it to the full...

that is a great idea...and I can think of a million excuses not to do it. stupid comfort zones😡 If only there was a way to not toil and still find out where to get started. I expect to much on my platter. I shall shut up now and seriously take out time to research. Thank you so much for the encouragement. Feels good to hear it from someone who is not a parent or a friend <3

okay, I take that back, you are a friend but...I don't know I see you as a person to look up to more so than...don't kill me please. I am awkward like that

Hmmm I can understand you treating me as someone not so much of a friend (the age gap is enormous)...but looking upto me seriously??? I wish I was remotely worth it. Do you have a blog ...since you write so much on RK if you write a blog on wordpress with them as your main characters...it would be easier for google to pick it up...not a very promising start but you have to start somewhere...a friend of mine writes kindle books (recipes) and is doing good at it. I will get more details on that ...next when I meet her.

Boy meets girl

In his blind rage, he almost runs over two novices in his way. The locals look at him petrified. His rash driving became the talk of the town five years ago when he and Madhu began courting. In fact, they were called the odd couple because of the overwhelming dissimilarities in their mannerism. Only after the head monk reluctantly blessed their marriage, could the people sleep in peace. Their faces told the horrors of the days when the hero dated a small town girl. He was so busy daydreaming that he would take his hands off the steering wheel and eyes off the road. The people had assigned him a shot gun seat passenger for their own safety more than his.

Enough about his driving, back to issue at hand. He pulls the vehicle to an abrupt stop creating a dust storm in front of the banyan tree. The class, almost dismissed, look on to their guru in fear. She convergs the students in a small circle and shielded them waiting to take on the danger.

Instead, she finds a red and blue creature of anger pulling on her wrist. She instructs the kids to leave as he drags her in to the thicker foliage.

"What the hell did you teach my daughter?" His hand pierce her veins. His legs tugging on the cotton robe that cover her flesh. He violently brushes her body against the bushes.

"I acknowledge my mistake. Please forgive me".

Her serenity is undefeated by his glares. She does not grimace in pain, not even a sign visible to tell how physically torturous every second is getting.

"No, I can never forgive you. What you did was heinous".

She looks on, unbroken. There is nothing left to break. She tried her best, she gave it all away that night. She begged with her heart out in the open but, he would not give in. So, she gave up. She gave up trying to control what was beyond her abilities.

Today would be no different. She would not fight him. She would stand by the truth and let him vent.

"You could go to jail for this", he loosens his grip with his striking anger still at a high.

"I have been there before", she says as if his threat is not a threat anymore.

"Madhubala Rishabh Kundra, you are under arrest". The words ring in her ears like it was yesterday. She blocks the vivid visions with a mantra that brings in peace.

"Stop with the gibberish and answer me. What did you tell her?" His whispers turn into screams. She had nothing to say in her defense. Her daughter did not know her name let alone the realization that she gave birth to her.

"Speak the hell up before I do something". His words sent shivers down her spine. What is the right thing to say here? Nothing really, the man will not be satisfied with any explanations. So, she will let him take it out.

"I want you to stay away from my daughter. Do you hear me?"

"I will never actively seek out Sara. I never have except..."

Except that one time. Early on in their split, she was a mess. Overwhelming separation anxiety took over her senses. Her daughter had only learned how to walk, she would miss everything. She would miss her first moments: the first haircut, the first day of school. She had not given her indiscretion a second thought. She climbed up the gated mansion and into the nursery. She held her sleeping baby in the dark. She felt her hands like they were the most precious commodity. She kissed her forehead with all her blessings. She dotted over her little miracle until...he called the cops.

They took her away and threw her in a criminal cell until Bittuji bailed her out. She still remembers his seething disgust, something she never understood.

The night that her life turned to dust, she had reasoned with him. Then, she fell down on her knees. Hanging on to his feet, she prayed for mercy.

"Please let me see my daughter. Please, I will do anything".

He instructed the maids to take Sara away before closing the doors on her. The wounds were still etched in her soul and his actions were only scratching the surface.

As hands feels her skin up and down, they stumble upon an opening in the robe: a hidden pocket giving access to all was hidden from view. His fingers are mischievous beyond control. As much as his gut tells him no, it is just as magical as the yester years. She is electric and he lets loose. He is exploring what his mind has long forgone. She does not resist. Why would she? She still feels the same way, perhaps even stronger knowing he did all this for Sara. She has a storm brewing inside of her. If this were to lead to intimacy, is their a bleak possibility of her seeing Sara again? Could her endurance bear fruit?

His lips press against her. "This feels good", the words escape his mouth before he can cage them in. Now, she stops him.

"Rishabh, I cannot".

"I hate you", he says to mask what seems to be in possession of his flesh and bones.

"I am sorry about that", she straightens up and proceeds to leave.

He stops her in her tracks by pulling on the string that knots her clothing.

"Why? How could you be so careless Madhu? I loved you".

She drops her weight on the grass thinking back to the sunny day that turned gloomy. They had decided to take Sarah out for her first picnic but, it was only an excuse to show off their little girl's new found walking skills. As Madhubala backed out of the garage into the driveway, RK decided to make one last run for the beer cans.

He left the door open and as fate would have it, little Sara ran out the door and stood behind the vehicle. Before Madhu could make reverse the car, RK jumped in the way and grabbed the child. That, was the end of it.

There were no more discussions. He asked her to pack up and move out. She did. He asked her for a divorce, she signed without a tear. He asked her for full custody. She fought, long and hard. But, he had the bigger house, the more money, the better lawyers who were willing to go as far as make her pay the child support. She was criminalized with charges of negligence. The harsher terms of attempted murder were taken away only when she cut a deal that she would no longer fight the custody battle.

She had never questioned his ability to parent based on the one slip up of not tying the seatbelt or not closing the door. But, he had based his judgement of her maternal affections on an isolated incident that she carried with guilt.

She had cried so much, she forgot to reason. She forgot tell the judge it was his fault too because all she saw was her shortcomings.

Coming to the monastery put things into perspective. The temple helped her forgive herself and her husband but, she did not attempt to correct the wrongs. She let it be. He will never love her again. What has been done can not be undone so, she let him be.

But, today is a different day. She does not confront him, he asks for the truth. So, she has to tell him. It is perhaps her only chance to tell her side of the story.

"I know I was at fault for not checking and double checking Sara's seatbelt. I should have……….closed the door".

And, it hit him. All this while he had been blaming her when, he is the culprit.

"No, no, no. This cannot be", he runs toward his car. "No, no, no".

He drives away not knowing where the guilt would take him.

Madhu stands in the woods, feeling no less, no more than she did before she told him the truth.