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Do Indian men make the best husbands?
Russia's leading feminist Maria Arbatova thinks so. But BT survey reveals only 52.3 per cent of Mumbai's women agree with her, while the rest beg to differ
ROSHNI OLIVERA Times News Network
Indians make the best husbands, believes Russia's leading feminist Maria Arbatova. Why? Because they are open and emotionally attached to their family. "Western culture worships the superman and for an Indian male it is not a shame to cry. They have an emotional relationship with the family," she said in an interview.
But what do Indian women have to say? As per BT poll (SMS-8888), where we asked women readers if they thought Indian men made the best husbands, 52.3 per cent agreed, while 47.7 per cent did not think Indian men made great husbands.
But what do Indian women have to say? As per BT poll (SMS-8888), where we asked women readers if they thought Indian men made the best husbands, 52.3 per cent agreed, while 47.7 per cent did not think Indian men made great husbands.
What goes in favour of the Indian man?
"An Indian man would probably make a better husband than a western man because of the Indian mentality where marriage's sacrosanct," says Nishidha Patkar, a marketing manager, as she adds, "He will try his best to make his marriage work because divorce is the last option. That's not the case with men abroad." Indian men are familyoriented, says Shola Mehta, a young housewife. "They've seen their father, grandfather devote time to their families. So they tend to imbibe that value."
Actor Aparna Tilak, who gives Indian men a thumbs up in this context, goes a step further: "Abroad, guys move out from homes at a very early age. With Indian guys, there's a lot of family influence, especially mother's influence. It actually depends largely on how the man's been brought up by his mother."
What goes against the Indian man?
Actor Swetta Keswani, who's dating US national Alexx O Neill, believes men, in general, are hypocrites. But it's worse with Indian men. "Initially they fall in love with you for what you are. Gradually, they want to change you completely because they are insecure." There's also a typical male mindset here in terms of sharing household chores or other responsibilities, she says. "Men expect their wives to do everything, even take their plates in. That's not the case with foreigners." Indian men are also perceived as chauvinistic compared to their western counterparts. "The men here tend to to be male chauvinists and can be extremely possessive," says socialite Ramona Narang, who has an Italian boyfriend. "Of course, Indian men make good husbands but that would depend on how they've been raised. If a man's been brought up well by his mother, he will not be chauvinistic."
Indian men also tend to be mamma's boys. That's another complaint women have. "Being a mamma's boy is fine. But when the mother's influence becomes too strong, there can be a negative impact on the marriage," says Tina Saigal, a businesswoman. "So in that context, I'd say, foreigners are better. They are a lot more independent."
Expertspeak:
Sociologist Nandini Sardesai analyses: "The western woman's expectations are different from the Indian woman. Fidelity, marriage and family are things that are not part of her culture. Therefore when she sees that in a man she appreciates it a lot more. This could be one of the reasons for Russian writer Maria Arbatova's reported statement. On the other hand, the Indian woman's expectations from her husband have always been few. She's been brought up like that. But things are changing. The woman of today who's well-educated and independent in her thinking expects certain support from the husband, not necessarily economic, but in the domestic sphere.
Western women, who've anyway been alienated from their families, do not see a mother-in-law as a threat as much as an Indian woman who's independent in her thinking. That apart, an Indian male who marries a foreigner probably makes more adjustments than one who marries an Indian."
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