Dear Stranger,
The last time I wrote to you. I stopped halfway through the proposal. Well, because I cannot contain too much happiness. I have a small capacity for joy. From experience, I know there is a limited amount in my life anyways. Most of me is busy making peace with the circumstances. I can only look back and smile at the sunny side days.
He took out a ring from his pockets and said the words I never wanted to hear from a man with cancer. I was crying profusely. He proposed''
"Madhubala Shamsher Malik", he paused for dramatic effect and I ruined the moment with my screams. "Will you go to chemo with me?"
I could not absorb the shock that had just hit me. This was not what I thought it was. Even so, I pulled myself together and uttered something to make him believe I was okay.
"First radiation, then surgery and now chemo, must be difficult on your body".
I swallowed my saliva hoping to hide my embarrassment.
"Damn girl! You look so cute trying to lie".
I ruffled a crease on my skirt. His eyes inspected the no man's land. I gently kicked his knee.
"Stop that".
"You think I am down on my knees for the view? I am asking you for real".
His smile was curved to the right like always.
"Fine, I will go to chemo with you. Now, get up". His eyes roamed around only to fix back on the forbidden.
"I am asking you to come to chemo with me. Make me your model. Eat your breakfast, lunch and dinners with me. I am asking you to make my house a home. I am asking you to marry me silly".
"I know silly".
"Don't you ever say you love me more", he slipped the ring on my finger.
I was glowing as he moved his hands up to my waist and pulled me in.
"Madhubala Rishabh Kundra, I love you", he finally said it.
"I am not a Kundra", I slapped his hand trying to reach lower down my waist, "yet".
"Since I have been asking and you have been agreeing, can we make a couple of babies while we're at it?"
"Can we? Sure.
Will we? Absolutely not", I roared and he hid his face in my shoulders shying away from the thought.
Then, the moment's charm was over. Reality hit as I prepared him for chemo. For anyone who has had the misfortune to prep for a taxol dose, you know it is akin to going for battle. You have a soldier on your hands who leaves with mighty strength and comes back defeated. The only effort you can make throughout this process is make sure his dignity does not fall apart and I failed at the only job he assigned me. I am ashamed of myself. I never felt this helpless than the day he sat on that hospital bed being treated like next in line in a seven eleven.