Asad-Zoya: My Take after Mystery Unravels

hirie thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#1
Here's my take on (or at least what I wish to see) the scenes between Zoya and Asad as the doll factory mystery unravels...

Zoya, at Rashi'd palatial house, sees a lady giving money to the Security guy (the same guy who shot her phoopi Dilshad). She tries hard to look at the woman's face but is only able to see her dupatta covering her head. Just then she sees the Security guy walking towards the door, having taken the money, and she quickly hides behind the door so that he cannot see her as he leaves. Zoya then looks inside and just then Raziya turns towards the door and sees her. She mistakes her to be one of the girls who has come over for some work at their house and tells her to go downstairs.

Zoya cannot believe her eyes when she sees Raziya's face. She thinks in her mind that she's seen this lady somewhere. Something about the way she looks, something about the way she talks, something about the way she remembers her, is all pure evil! She tries hard to think and just as she is walking down the stairs, she gets flashbacks of vaguely seeing Raziya and Mamujaan behind the big conspiracy that took place when she was a child. As much as she now knows that Raziya was behind Dilshad's shooting, she looks confused as to why Raziya is connected to her past as well.

As she recollects more of what happened when she was a child, she starts to fear for her own life. She tries to be brave and thinks of bringing down Razia but fears if she will even be able to live before she can find out who and where her father is. She thinks she has come way too far to let go now and that she must take the next step carefully. She remembers Asad's words that she's always careless, and always only thinks about herself and in doing so, harms others. She realizes that she must follow his advice this time and think carefully before doing anything hastily.

She calls Asad, who is already worried for her whereabouts as he thinks Zoya is putting herself in harms way by being a part of Dilshad's shooting investigation. As Asad sees Zoya's number flashing on his screen, he jumps to answer the phone, in half relief that she's calling, and in half angst that she did not listen to him of letting things be.

Zoya - Mr. Khan... (sounds disturbed...)
Asad - Zoya, are you okay?
Zoya - Mr. Khan mujhe pata chal gaya hai ki Phoopi par attack kisne karvaya tha!
Asad - What? What are you saying Ms Farooqui?
Zoya - Yes Mr. Khan. Maine khud apni aakho se us Security guard to paise lete hue dekha hai...
Asad - Aap is waqt kaha hai? Aur maine aapko mana kiya tha kuch karne ke liye... (he wonders why she does not understand that things are getting way too dangerous and that she should not be investigating things on her own, especially since the people involved are capable of getting anyone killed at the blink of an eye!)
Zoya - Lekin Mr. Khan...
Asad - Lekin kuch nahi Ms. Farooqui, aap abhi waha se nikaliye aur ghar pahuchiye. Aapka waha rehna safe nahi hai! Understand?

Let me know how you guys liked this.. and i'll continue...



Edited by hirie - 13 years ago

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chikara thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#2
Well sounds possible. Nice post
hirie thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#3

Originally posted by: chikara

Well sounds possible. Nice post


thanks for the appreciation, its my first creative writing piece on QH forum!
Edited by hirie - 13 years ago
KunwaariDaayan thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#4
This could all be possible...very well written!
ziyenza thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#5
this is nice ❤️ keep up the good work :) it's better if the whole thing in english since i have a bit difficulty in hindi
Livingfree thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#6

This could be a possibility. Very well written 👍🏼

hirie thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#7

Originally posted by: shaz2009

This could all be possible...very well written!


thanks, i'll see if i can develop this further, but since the mystery unravels today, it might be difficult!
hirie thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#8

Originally posted by: ziyenza

this is nice ❤️ keep up the good work :) it's better if the whole thing in english since i have a bit difficulty in hindi


i can't do the dialogues in english (though i can put them in brackets in english, will edit it now so you can have a read again!) as the characters don't completely talk in english and i want to retain the essence of each character in the dialogues...

but thanks for the appreciation!
hirie thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: s120

This could be a possibility. Very well written 👍🏼


thanks a lot :)
irock321 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#10
Amazing! I wish it went like this :P lol Poor Rashid!

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