Is love a good thing?

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Forever-KA

@Forever-KA

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

Let me make few important points first.

1) This is not a devdas/ reject in love/a fat guy who didnt get any date for prom (as in movie SOTY)/rajeev paul making this topic.

2) I have never been involved in any relationship with anyone, love or no love.

3). This is not about family love so please dont discuss in that context.

4) Its hypothetical question and not based on my story so dont waste time there

I have observed that love between two people is not a great thing as we like it to believe. If you see it in conext of end result i.e. two people meeting and living together it is mostly a failure. The biggest reason I think is that there is no condition when you love someone but there are lots of conditions when that love is to materialize. Thats the bottle neck. From movies and life in general I have see following issues

1) Religion

2) Caste

3) Ethnicity

4) Culture

5) Citizenship

6) Social barriers

7) Family

8) Etc

Then you have issue of loving someone without knowing them fully. Maybe you liked the looks, innocence, certain habit, personality however when you got the full packagae you end up regretting. Therefore later on it doesnt end up as it should be.

Finally, there will be cases where love couple met married/live in and lived happily after.

However overall, it is a good thing or it hurts many people and therefore ruin their life and when they marry any other life of that person as well.

its anti valentine type of a topic but do share your views.

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-Aarya-

@-Aarya-

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

I agree with you completely, how can people love each other and live with each other day in day out. Why would you want to trust each other completely, and don't want them to change and accept them for what they are? Why would you want to feel the butterflies in your stomach and day dream about them? Why would want to feel nervous around them, and feel clumsy at the same time? Why would you want to spend your entire life with them, I mean seriously who would want to live with each other 24/7 ; 365 days a year? Why would you want to do things for the one you love and expect nothing in return? Why would you want to think about them all the time, and have crazy imaginations? Why would you want to kiss and hug them? Why would you want to be physically, emotionality, mentally be attached to that person. I totally agree with you, people should not love, it's a horrible feeling.

Btw, Happy Valentine Day 😳

Edited by -Aarya- - 12 years ago

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Forever-KA

@Forever-KA

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: -Aarya-

I agree with you completely, how can people love each other and live with each other day in day out. Why would you want to trust each other completely, and don't want them to change and accept them for what they are? Why would you want to feel the butterflies in your stomach and day dream about them? Why would want to feel nervous around them, and feel clumsy at the same time? Why would you want to spend your entire life with them, I mean seriously who would want to live with each other 24/7 ; 365 days a year? Why would you want to do things for the one you love and expect nothing in return? Why would you want to think about them all the time, and have crazy imaginations? Why would you want to kiss and hug them? Why would you want to be physically, emotionality, mentally be attached to that person. I totally agree with you, people should not love, it's a horrible feeling.

Btw, Happy Valentine Day 😳

Thank You Aarya. I dont believe in this day and dont celebrate it also. However a very happy valentine day to you. You seem to be a firm believer in VD. lol.

Lets say if we were to conduct a study on love I think we would see that incidence of failure in love would be very high. If were to compare adverse effects in life between love strucken and non-love group then maybe former would have more problems. Not because love is bad but because it has high chance of failures. On the other hand the love group will say they cannot help it and its not like its something deliberate.

I am thinking of an answer as to how to save people from adverse effects of love. It will help people in their life and make them happy. I have no answers.

Right now the best I can do is tell them that in the long run you might regret and maybe your love is temporary and will go away. maybe the other person is not that lovable afterall. These are some solutions.

Edited by King-Anu - 12 years ago

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return_to_hades

@return_to_hades

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

I think love just is. There isn't anything exceptionally good about it, it won't heal the world. Nor is there anything exceptionally bad about it. not every broken heart is bad or destructive.

The adverse affects of love are just a rite of passage, a part of life that helps people grow and learn and understand better. On the positive side it does give people companionship and fulfillment when it works out. Overall it is an intriguing and cute human idiosyncrasy.

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344471

Suspended

Posted: 12 years ago

A topic questioning 'love' on Valentine's day? 😆

Your topic is subjected at romantic love I think. So I will refrain myself from bringing platonic love or anything of that sort.

There is love (the emotion) and then there are the aftereffects of love (when you get into a relationship) relationship. Good thing about love (if it works) is that it gives you the sense of fulfillment that you deserve and gives you peace of mind. I think romantic attraction is only natural, and everyone, baring rare cases, will seek it out. So if you get it, that's great. Bad thing is it can lead to jealousy, possessiveness, can be very time consuming that makes you stop doing other works etc.

The aftereffects of love (marriage, relationship, live ins), when it doesn't work, is that heartbreaks or divorces or broken relationships, can be excruciatingly difficult to live with. You can be either very happy if it works, but if it doesn't, it can even be damaging. But most people, regardless of what they feel that time, are capable of 'moving on'. So it's not the 'be all and end all' that we think it is.

Overall I think love is a neutral thing. It has been both eulogized by films, books, poems and criticized by the society, culture, sometimes law/religion too much. It certainly is overrated. 😉

Anyway. The aftereffect of loving someone or getting into a relationship may not always be positive (in fact, most teenage affairs don't materialize well, heartbreaks, divorces are not uncommon), but it's one of the strongest emotions that we as human beings feel, and to ask to avoid it is ridiculous imo. Adults especially should not avoid a relationship simply because there is a chance it may fall apart. I think other than immediate family members, the society should not mull their heads about others love affairs. Let adults live their lives. If it harms it will be between them and their family.

Personally, as much romantic as I can be sometimes, the rationalist in me says there is no such thing as 'soul mate'. Just because your first love didn't work doesn't mean you'll have to be all alone your life because that was your only chance that failed. I don't agree with that. You can fall in love as many times as possible, and each love can be as special as the next. Just cherish your current relationship, and try to make your love work - simply loving someone is not going to work, you actually have to try to make your relationship work.

Anyway. My point, it's a neutral thing with many positives and negatives. But I'd say love as an emotion is not negative, unless it's been taken to a negative extreme. But it's definitely overrated. And DM is a proof of that. 😆

Edited by Beyond_the_Veil - 12 years ago

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_Angie_

@_Angie_

Rocker

Posted: 12 years ago

Happy Loving All Year Round

On Love - Beautiful words from Bob Marley:
"Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you've never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never ach...ieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can't wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it's like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn't exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day's work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there's no need for continuous conversation, but you find you're quite content in just having them nearby.

Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon.

You open your heart knowing that there's a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that's so real it scares you.

You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life."

My own comments later ...if I feel like it ...

Edited by _Angie_ - 12 years ago

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BirdieNumNum

@CuckooCutter7

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

i strongly believe it's better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all. 😊 At least, it's what you should tell them when it's over 😆

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Forever-KA

@Forever-KA

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

In order after my second post. How cute, analytical, romantic and romantic of you all. I appreciate the input.

My point however was that

a) in day to day life, in practical life my observation is that it does not always succeed (if you see it in context of endpoint) and that means sadness, people getting hurt, depression, non-commitment in future relationships which leads to more problem and ruins many lives, career getting affected and all that. Sure there are mature people like you all but how many are like that?

I agree if it happens and materialize then maybe great but in terms of numbers that doesnt happen based on my observations. So overall it has more negatives than positives.

b) Since people do not have control and they get involved what is the best way to get them out of it. I presented some solutions i.e. making them aware of realities of life and that maybe it was not love and all that.

It is extremely frustating when you hear such stories and want people to forget and move on but they cant. Maybe we do not have any treatment for this illness called love. lol.

Edited by King-Anu - 12 years ago

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McNinja

@McNinja

Inactive

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

The problem isn't love, the problem is the love that's been sold to us. As if it's suppose to be an all consuming mind, body and soul experience that turns your world upside down. Please. 😆

It can be as good or as bad as you make it. Obsessing over it can become unhealthy. Neglecting it may dull its shine.

Thanks Cupid, fitting vday topic 😆

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Forever-KA

@Forever-KA

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: McNinja
The problem isn't love, the problem is the love that's been sold to us. As if it's suppose to be an all consuming mind, body and soul experience that turns your world upside down. Please. 😆

It can be as good or as bad as you make it. Obsessing over it can become unhealthy. Neglecting it may dull its shine.

Thanks Cupid, fitting vday topic 😆

Interesting. I can see your post in two ways

1- Maybe love is showed in a particular way and movies,drama etc are responsible and its not that big of a deal.

2- You are just saying what you want it to be and not what it is.

In any case my question was more to do with what to do when it happens and how to save lives of people who get into that and cant move on. lol. What you said is what I want to it to be. I think thats note the case

What do you mean by cupid? lol.