From the Author's desk: This update contains some intimate moments shared by a couple in early parenthood. Readers discretion advised. If you want to skip this update, I totally understand and you can do so- It will not affect the flow of the story.
For those who want to skip it- here is the summary of the update: Sid and La discuss feasibility of Gayathri attending the wedding and also about Rana's and Dhruv's absence. Arnav and Kushi make up and iron out their misunderstandings.
Thanks so much for the lovely comments that I received. Happy reading.
Part 66
"What are you thinking?" La asked Sid as she entered their room and found him lost in thoughts
"No nothing" he shrugged his shoulders and smiled at her
"Its about Gayathri Maa isn't it.. I know you were speaking to her in the evening'" She asked him
"hmm"
"What did she say?"
"She sounded worried La"
"About coming to the wedding?"
"No- about no one being able to trace Rana- It's been three days since he absconded Lav, there is no news about Dhruv either. You know she feels that there might be an attack tomorrow or day after"
"That's kind of predictable isn't it?"
"Yes-but I think she is worried that Rana has his trump still with him"
"I don't understand"
"Dhruv" Sid told her quietly "I think she is worried about Dhruv too. I think she knows her brother will use Dhruv to get Arnav."
"But ASR and Dhruv- they don't even know eachother that well- and we know atleast Dhruv hates ASR"
"I don't know what she fears- She was not very clear"
"What did she say about coming for the wedding"
"I don't think she would come' She hinted that she won't come- Dadimaa also spoke to her- but she didn't comply"
"She would listen to ASR- If he invites then she might come"
"That's what Kushi also thinks- She told she will talk to him about this"
"I don't think it's going to be easy- he is going to be pissed off"
"big deal- he gets pissed off at the drop of a hat"
Lavanya laughed.
"He is not that difficult- atleast not now- he has changed a lot- He is not the one I used to know three years back"
Sid rolled his eyes
"Hello- I am serious- He has changed a lot' Only if you stop pulling his legs so much- he would act civil to you"
"you mean I am riling him up? He is the one who drives everyone up the wall"
"What did he do?"
"You know what he did today- not letting any of us down- acting so severe"
"Seriously Sid don't be insensitive- that was expected.. I mean you didn't know what Kushi did"
"what?- taking off a dupatta is not a sin Lav"
"Not only was her dupatta off Sid- She had taken the liberty in her dress taking advantage of only women folks around and she would have been embarrassed her if you or anyone else had gone down. That guy is really sweet- he didn't even tell the reason out ' but stood there blocking you all"
"Oh he is sweet.. What are we then? Suckers? ' I felt bad for you as you had been running up and down for almost five times and looked tired- and I am being stamped as an insensitive git" Sid said seriously
"Hey you are reading between my lines- Look I told you just then that you are adorable for thinking so" Lavanya told him slipping her hand on his waist
Sid pushed her hands.
"good night" he said abruptly and went to bed.
Lavanya sighed. She had been longing in the past for a hint of possessiveness in Sid-But he was always the easy going kind. He would make her feel jealous ' and always make fun of her- but when she would try and create a situation where he might feel jealous, he would take it easy- making her even more pissed off' But this past one week, she was seeing a new avatar in him- He knew that she loved him, but still on mention of any events of the past when Lavanya was involved with ASR- he would become all possessive- and it was up to her to console him.
She smirked at his direction as she started walking towards him.
***
Arnav was tucking Arush to sleep inside his crib when he heard the banging at his door.
His irritated self not improved yet, he went and opened the door to see a weird scene just outside the room. Kushi was facing the other side and looking here and there and not realizing that the door had already been opened pushed her butt backwards to bang on the door again. Her butt not meeting the door, she lost her control and rammed against a startled Arnav.
Arnav held her so as to stop her from falling and she steadied herself as she stepped away
"What are you doing here?"
"I ' I came to see if ' if Arush is asleep"
"He was already asleep when I took him from there" Arnav reminded her as he moved in.
Kushi followed him into the room'
"Oh yeah.. I ' I came to see if he woke up by chance- when you carried him- may be" Kushi told him. She wished Arush was awake so that she could feed him
"Just because you are clumsy or careless- doesn't mean everyone else is" Arnav snapped at her.
"I know you are angry with me for deciding to sleep with Buaji today ' but Arnavji you should-"
"Look I don't care a damn if you want to go and sleep with your family- If you had come to give me any sort of explanation for that- then get lost" He snarled at her
"Why are you being so difficult? What is wrong if my family wants me to spend some time with them? I know you won't normally let me ' this is the only chance- also I didn't have a proper bidaai last time- they thought atleast this time I can do it properly- so they asked me'"
"I said I don't care- didn't you hear me?" He shouted again cutting her sentence mid-way.
"And the lehenga that you purchased for me was so expensive- they were worried that I will spoil it with my mehendi- So I had to rem"
"Shut up ' Just Shut up and get lost Kushi"
"Why are you shouting like this Arnavji? You are angry with me for no fault of mine' What is really your problem Arnavji- you are being irrationally angry for a small thing- I don't understand at all!"
He grabbed her by her arms- and she was not able to stop him or shove him owing to the mehendi in her hands.
"You dont understand is it? Because you have changed Kushi- you longer understand me' you want to spend time away from me- you ask for private space- you sit out there almost half naked whereas you would cringe away when I approach you- You decide to sleep somewhere else but don't bother to even inform me for curtesy sake'- you still tell me you don't understand my anger?"
Kushi sighed. This issue has been lingering for a while, she realized. He has started feeling insecure again- the fear that his loved one would leave him and go for ever' He couldn't tolerate such things at all. He was getting angry with the insecurity. She decided to clear it one by one
" I didn't mean it when I said I wanted my private space" she said slowly
"Now did you?" Arnav asked sarcastically "forget it and get lost- go sleep with whoever you want to- I don't care"
Kushi sighed again- this was not going to be an easy fight when his fuse was so short and he was displaying impatience traits. On top of it her breasts had already started throbbing with pain. She knew she might start dripping very soon.
"you have to listen to me' I only said that because I was angry that you went against my wish to read that diary" she said controlling herself from wincing with pain
"My Kushi wouldn't have stopped me from reading that diary"
"But she would have desired you to wait for the differences to be sorted out so that you could read the diary with her" Kushi told him softly.
Arnav who opened his mouth to give back an angry retort, stopped suddenly realizing what she told. He realized that she wanted him to read it with her by his side.
"and I am sorry about today evening.. I shouldn't have taken off my lehenga knowing that there was chance for one of you to come down- Thanks for saving me from the embarrassment" Kushi told looking at the floor.
He didn't budge. He wanted to let it go, but he was angry still and turned his back on her.
"I am sorry about not informing you about the sleeping arrangements too"
"Go and sleep- you must be tired"
"I- will go after you take your medicines" she said as she lightly pressed her throbbing breast with her right upper arm
"So you have come here only for checking if I had my medicines isn't it?" He asked her in a fierce tone again. He had been expecting her to say she would sleep with him. But now as she confirmed that she would go and sleep down after he took his medicine infuriated him further
"y..yes" she winced out of pain- But he took it to be out of his cold tone.
He went and pulled out a draw, taking out his tablet and swallowing it quickly, he turned and faced her
"I have taken- now get lost" he said as he went to the door and opened it wide, indicating her to go out of the room.
Kushi who was thinking about asking him to help her, bit her lips. She looked at her sleeping son once again. Then she turned and walked towards the door. She had apologized to him two times- for no mistake of hers- If he wants to be difficult- she can be difficult too'
"wait" he shouted as she reached the door and went in and grabbed a white shirt from his wardrobe
He held it out to her as if to help her wear it as she stood facing him
"Wear this and go- I don't approve of you going all the way down in this pathetic excuse of a dress"
"Your shirt is white- I ' my mehendi will spoil it"
"I don't care about the damn mehendi- wear it and go down" he yelled at her impatiently
Kushi lifted her hand a little and that was when he noticed it.
"What happened?" he asked "you are wet over t..there.." he said pointing to one of her breasts
That was when Kushi realized she has already started leaking.
"oh I..m..my milk.. its started leaking" she stammered helplessly
"but why.. Didn't you feed him?" Arnav asked her confused.
"I didn't get a chance to feed him from afternoon' I am quiet full- he had already slept by the time I finished with mehendi'" she sighed ' "That's ok.. I think I'"
"Then why don't you change your dress?" he asked abruptly- "you can't sleep with wet clothes on"
"No Arnavji.. I think it is ok" she started to tell, but he was already pulling her in as he bolted the door.
As he brought his hand near her, his hand accidentally brushed against her right breast and she winced, stepping back
"Don't be stupid Kushi- I will help you change it and then you can '" he stopped mid sentence. He had thought she was backing away from him touch but then realized she had winced in pain. Her eyes clearly indicated him that she was in pain.
He didn't know anything about this side of motherhood- Kushi was not with him for the entire year of her motherhood. He didn't even realize that she would be in pain if her son missed his feed.
"Are you hurt Kushi" he said coming near her again. But that was her doing. The tears that she had been controlling ever since, started flowing freely- as she tried controlling them in vain.
"I- I am ok" she sobbed.
He grabbed and pulled her towards him as his hand reached her dori and untied it, he reached down and unbuttoned her as she protested. Freeing her instantly of her clothes, he found that while one side had already dripping, the other one was engorged and swollen and when he touched it, he felt it was hard like rock. She cried out of pain as he touched it.
"why is it like this?" he asked her getting more confused and scared.
"I think I have a clogged duct' It happens when he misses my feed once in a while" she explained gritting her teeth in pain.
"clogged duct? w'what do we do if you have one? Should I ask Nani or Dadi? Should I call the doctor?" he panicked reaching out for his mobile
"No.. I have never let it become this worse' It usually goes off if I feed him once'painful- but I would get relieved.. but this time, they had bottle fed him already and I think he was feeling full... and slept off"
Arnav tried to see if Arush was about to wake up.. but he was in deep slumber.
"He sometimes even starts drinking when he is asleep- just put a finger on his lips... he would open his mouth if he wants to have some milk" Kushi told Arnav
"Do you want me to try and manully express the milk?" he asked her suddenly
She didn't say anything but stood there not knowing what to do. Arnav looked at her not sure if it was a good idea.. She was wincing with pain even with his touch... He sighed. Something was always better than nothing. If that was not going to work out- he can always take her to the hospital.
"come then.." he said simply taking her hand and dragging her inside the bathroom. .
He tried to squeeze it out, but she screamed in pain, but nothing came out'
"What should I do Kushi? How can I help you ease the pain?" he asked her helplessly
She stood there wincing in pain, as tears rolled on her cheeks. He wiped her tears hastily, brought some hot water and tried soothing her, but that again didn't help, and it became all the more heavy'
He watched her for a while, not knowing what to do'then her previous words flashed across his mind'
"it usually goes off if I feed him once' "
If only Arush was awake he thought, then it hit him'
He went to her and bent towards the affected one. For the first time in life, Arnav took her breast not to please her or to get pleased but to ease her out of pain. He could sense her blenching in pain as he sucked her slowly but firmly, soon the clog released and the milk started flowing down, as she moaned in relief.
It was sometime before they both stepped out of the bathroom.
As he helped her put on his white shirt, once outside the bathroom, she quietly slipped into it
"I could have put on one of my night shirts" she whispered
"That's alright. Mine is quite big for you and it will easily slip in- with your mehendi'd hands I mean"
"then you should have given me one of the black ones"
"I like you in my white shirts" he said simply "and I don't mind mehendi stains Kushi- either on my shirt or on the expensive lehangas that I get for you"
She smiled at him
"Are you ok now? Is it still aching?"
"No I am much much relieved" she assured him
"I will carry you down'" he said as he finished buttoning her
"No that's not needed"
"I insist"
"I also insist- I am not going down" she said as she went and stood near the bed and looked at him
He smiled at her
"Kushi, if you feel like spending the night with Buaji- I am completely ok with it"
"I don't want to spend the night anywhere else other than here" she said firmly
He smirked at her.
"Ok.. so what are you waiting for?"
"for you to spread that old brown spread on my side... this is my favorite bed spread- I don't want to spoil it"
He smiled as he took out the old spread out and spread it out on her side and helped her get into the bed.
"why is your hand sticky?" he asked her
"I have applied lemon and sugar syrup on it"
"why?"
"so that I will get a darker color- it is told that the depth of the color indicates the groom's love for the bride"
"My love cannot be measured by the depth of stain left by some ground leaves" he told her
"I know.. its just.. myth..Ok lets say, I will be excited if I get a good color " she told as he tucked her warmly
"So why haven't you applied lemon and sugar on your leg"
"Oh it is still a little wet"
"ok..now go to sleep- when he gets up, I will bring him to you- If you feel uncomfortable again- wake me up ok?" he said as he kissed her forehead.
She smiled at him as he her smile.
***
It was almost an hour or two after Kushi fell asleep that she sensed a chilling sensation on her legs. She got up with a jerk to find Arnav sitting by her legs with a bowl in his hands
"What are you doing?" she asked him
"lemon and sugar on your legs" he replied calmly "Did I wake you up?"
"I thought you didn't believe in the color measuring your love for me" she said still little dazed from sleep
"Yeah I don't' but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't do this to make my wife a little excited"
"Have you been staying awake to see when my mehendi will go dry?" she asked tenderly feeling a little overwhelmed at his gesture.
"No I got up to change his diaper" he explained
"oh' " she said as she watched him get up and leave the bowl on the coffee table'
"If it is true that the mehendi color defines the man's love for his girl, then I think I would get the darkest color of all girls" Kushi told him
"So again I would be blamed for making your mehendi dark and ugly?"
"No I would proudly flaunt it to everyone I would come across"
Arush stirred then letting out a whine "Mommaaa"
"Haa.. time for his feed I suppose" Arnav commented as he brought the fully awake Arush to her and then helped him latch to her.
"you both carry on, I will catch some sleep in the meanwhile" he said to Kushi as he then climbed into the bed.
Arnav watched his son and Wife for sometime before he reached his son who was busy getting fed and kissed him on the back of his head.
"I love you little champ"
"and me?" Kushi asked.
He smiled at her as he reached forward
"I love you too sweetheart" he murmured against her ears as he dropped her a kiss there
Kushi's eyes welled up. She couldn't even remember when he had last called her sweetheart - it was two years ago.. it all seemed long ago when Anjali and Payal had overheard him calling her with special names and had teased her mercilessly.. But it all left so good -so perfect- as if nothing can go wrong ever again in their lifes'
"hum bhi" she replied back as he fondled her hair.
"I know" he smiled at herHe draped his arm over his son extending to his wife's waist and fell into a sweet slumber, hearing the suckling rhythm of their baby son...
To be continued'
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