New Arhi FF: Collisions

shivanisaur thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#1

Hey guys!

I have read many works on IF and have thoroughly enjoyed reading them. All of these have inspired me to attempt writing my own FF and so I bring to you Collisions! This is my 1st FF and I hope you enjoy it!

Prologue

Teenage years are the sweetest and some of the most emotional years of your life. Some of the best moments, some of the worst moments fall in these years.

This is a story of two strong- headed 14 year old tennagers who collide in the most unlikely circumstances. They can hide from each other but can they hide from themselves?


Chapter One

She strode past the shops in St. Anne's in a hurry to get to the cinema before Lavanya brutally murdered her. Yes she was 14 year old Khushi Kumari Gupta, famous for arriving late and today she was twenty minutes late. She was wearing a pink and black long top with black legging and some black UGGs- with no make-up and her hair left out free she looked a real beauty. Her face however was scrunched up in exasperation as she was very late and the mall was packed with people doing last minute summer holiday shopping. Every few seconds she attempted to dodge people. With three shopping bags in one hand and a milkshake in the other, it was becoming increasingly hard.

She was lost in her thoughts and was sending up a private prayer to Devi Maya to prevent Lavanya from killing her when she collided into a masculine figure.

'Shoot' she cursed.

Her milkshake had tilted as she had bumped into this stranger and a trickle of the drink made its way slowly down her top. She instinctively dumped her bags into the hands of the stranger, whipped a handkerchief from her pocket and started scrubbing at the small stain.

The guy- was indeed a 14 year old Arnav Singh Raizada and he had been on his way when this figure had bumped into him from nowhere.

'Can't people look and watch? You can at least have the decency to apologise you know.' Khushi was annoyed and so she started her angry rant.

'Why should I? You banged into me.' He retorted.

'No I didn't. And it's MY top that has got ruined, and ME who is late for a movie, and ME who is going to get murdered. So it is YOU who should be saying sorry.' And with that she snatched her bags from his hands, thereby uncovering his face. Arnav looked ahead and saw a very amusing sight- a teenage girl in pretty attire with her hair flying lose. Hazel eyes glared at him very annoyed. Seeing her face scrunched up in annoyance made him chuckle.

Khushi saw a handsome boyish face, molten brown eyes and jet black hair that partially covered his forehead. Those eyes were captivating. On a normal day she would have appreciated a boy this handsome and hazel would have drowned in molten brown. But today she was furious. Hearing him chuckle heightened her anger and she gave him a final glare before storming ahead.

Arnav turned his head and watched her storm away, amused. He then shook his head to clear his thoughts and carried on walking ahead. He met Aman, his best friend and then they both headed towards the cinema for they were going to watch Life of Pi.

Khushi reached her group of friends- Anjali, Payal and Lavanya. 'Guys I am sooo sorry, it's not my fault. It's that guy's fault who bumped into me.' Khushi decided that for her own safety she should blame her delay on the stranger rather than risk Lavanya's wrath.

'Who was this guy? Was he hot?' Lavanya questioned raising her eyebrows.

Khushi rolled her eyes, trust Lavs to be concerned about the looks of this 'guy'. 'Well I didn't get to see his face properly..' Khushi, didn't know why but she didn't want to tell Lavanya that she thought the guy was handsome because she knew Lavanya would make a big fuss of it. 'Shall we go get the tickets for the Life of Pi?'

'Yeah, sure.'

They went and bought tickets to go see the 3D version of Life of Pi, Lavanya then went to go buy her favourite Nachos while Khushi bought ice cream. The girls went into the cinema and sat down in their seats- unfortunately they could not find four seats together and so it had meant that Lavanya, Anjali and Payal sat together leaving Khushi all alone. Khushi was fidgety and she knew that was the reason none of them wanted to sit next to her.

They didn't see Arnav and Aman who had been standing in the queue behind them to get the tickets for the same movie. These two entered the cinema and found that their seats were next Khushi. Arnav loved annoying Khushi- he didn't know why- so he decided to sit next to her with Aman on the other side of him.

Khushi did not see that Arnav had sat beside her as the lights in the cinema had been dimmed due to the start of the trailers for upcoming films; she was engrossed in them. There were a fair few upcoming comedies that were hilarious, and she cracked up with laughter watching their trailers. Arnav heard her melodious laughter and looked to his left. He saw her and was enchanted for her eyes lit up when she was laughing and this enhanced her beauty.

Khushi was very fidgety and throughout the film she kept shifting within her seat. This irked Arnav as it was distracting.

'Stop fidgeting' Arnav commanded.

'What's it to you?' and so fuming she carried on enjoying the Life of Pi.

A little while later Arnav heard a vibration and he looked to see Khushi groping around inside her UGGs. Khushi's phone was ringing and this created an unpleasant ticklish sensation as it was vibrating in her UGGs. She was frustrated as she could not get to her phone with the ice cream in her hand. Arnav watched her frustration and let out a silent laugh.

'What's so funny?' He heard Khushi whisper annoyed. She disliked that this stranger was laughing at her so without thinking the question had slipped out her mouth.

'You.' He replied simply.

Her phone vibrated again and so Khushi said 'Hold this ice-cream'. Khushi plonked her ice cream into his hands. He decided to leave her to deal with her phone. Khushi finally reached her phone and saw that her dad was calling her. She waited for the call to end before she then texted her dad that she was in a film and would call back after.

With the phone episode finished she snatched her ice- cream cup from Arnav and he looked on amused. She attempted to spoon some ice cream with her mini spoon but in vain for her ice cream cup had been emptied.

'Where is my ice cream?' she whispered furiously to the stranger on her right.

'In my stomach.' replied Arnav, who was finding the situation hilarious.

'What the hell?' asked Khushi trying hard to keep her temper in check.

'You said to hold it. You didn't say I couldn't eat it.'

'Well here is another present for you.' Khushi replied and dumped the empty ice-cream cup on him she then looked ahead to carry on enjoying her film. Arnav took one look at her and a huge grin settled onto his face.

The film was in 3D and so when Richard Parker, the Bengal tiger, first jumped out of his hiding place it was as if he was actually jumping out of the screen. This scared Khushi and a very high pitched scream escaped from her mouth. She grabbed hold of Arnav's arm. This made Arnav jump and he cursed because of the mini heart attack she had given him.

Hearing Arnav curse brought Khushi back to reality and she realised that she had been holding the hand of a stranger. She let go of it.

'Aww. Did you get scared?' whispered Arnav to Khushi in a mocking tone.

'Keep dreaming. I NEVER get scared. It was just a shock' she replied.

He smirked and watched Piscine Patel deal with Richard Parker.

As the film finished Khushi stood up to leave. Suddenly the lights switched on in the cinema and she looked to see who the annoying stranger on her right was. A gasp escaped her mouth as she saw that the person sitting next to her was the same one who had bumped into her earlier. All the time it had been HIM annoying her. How dare he? She thought. Arnav, on the other hand, was thoroughly pleased by this reaction from Khushi.

'Close your mouth, a fly might get in, honey!' Arnav advised and with a smirk left the cinema before she could reply.

And so that was how they first met. Arnav had enjoyed infuriating this pretty girl while Khushi was angry that this attractive guy was really getting on her nerves and annoying her.

So how was it? Please tell me whether I should continue and how I can improve! Thanks!

Edited by shivanisaur - 12 years ago

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Titaliya_AP thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#2
Comment reserved :)


--edited--


Hey! I'd be honor to help you out with you fan fiction :)


Just one tip, you have extremely well language so don't ruin it with bad grammar, proof reading before posting is always a must! :) I'd love to help you with that if you want.


Other than that you seem good with delivering your story :)


Now to your actual story!


Loved the concept. Two strong headed teenagers. Teenage years are the best ad worst part of your life, you have to take the bad with the good and the good with the bad.


Their first interaction was just as expected! Lol. Except here we have a amiable Arnav and a anger KKG ;D


So lets see where you take us from here! I'm excited to part of this journey called Collisions :)
Edited by Titaliya_AP - 12 years ago
Dee_J thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#3
awesome...!! pm when nxt chap is up!
shivanisaur thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#4
Thanks Deepa311 and Anjaani!

If you think that there are parts which are bit rubbish please tell me so I can improve them!!

But thanks for your comments! They mean a lot! :)

Shivanisaur
Titaliya_AP thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#5

Originally posted by: shivanisaur

Thanks Deepa311 and Anjaani!


If you think that there are parts which are bit rubbish please tell me so I can improve them!!

But thanks for your comments! They mean a lot! :)

Shivanisaur


Of course :) I'd love to help. Even if you want to send them to me before you post them I don't mind.


Oh, and my name is AnjAni. No AnjAAni. Lol, just one 'a.' Because Anjaani means female stranger and Anjani has something to do with Hanuman Bhagwan's mother.
shivanisaur thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#6
I am sorry! I didn't realise that it I spelt your name wrong!

Thank you for your offer!! My grammar is really bad I know.. Please would you help me correct this 1st chapter then?

And thank you for your comments they are really encouraging!
Sultan_Of_Swing thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#7
Hi, You should post this first in IPK forum. You will get more readers if you post the story in the forum. Once it reaches 15-20 odd pages it will be moved to the FF forum.

Good start, try and format the typo, paragraph break, quotes better. Use a slightly bigger font size and always highlight anything you feel is important for the reader to note.

Otherwise I like the premise of the story.
Siaa_Rickman thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#8
A and K watch Life of Pi..Interesting! S our Khushi here is modern enough to watch such movies, well-affordable to buy clothes and all such!
And A! He's a charmer, isn't he?! :D

I like this different concept! Looking forward for more :)
shivanisaur thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: Naach_Basanti

Hi, You should post this first in IPK forum. You will get more readers if you post the story in the forum. Once it reaches 15-20 odd pages it will be moved to the FF forum.

Good start, try and format the typo, paragraph break, quotes better. Use a slightly bigger font size and always highlight anything you feel is important for the reader to note.

Otherwise I like the premise of the story.



Thank you for your advice!! Do you know how I can move this post to the IPK forum?

I will make those edits! Thank you for your help!
shivanisaur thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: -Siaa-

A and K watch Life of Pi..Interesting! S our Khushi here is modern enough to watch such movies, well-affordable to buy clothes and all such!

And A! He's a charmer, isn't he?! :D

I like this different concept! Looking forward for more :)



Thanks! Yeah I chose to change the setting and characters...

Thank your for your comment!

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