Originally posted by: premeermania
hmmm...i can smell from here. someone's heart is burning š jealous prem š it wasreally a pleasant surprise kiran š
waiting for the dhamaka
ONE CHANCE GIVEN 2.8
71st National Film Awards (Celebrating 2023)
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Saiyaara Male lead is overrated!!!
ONE MONTH TIME 3.8
Originally posted by: premeermania
hmmm...i can smell from here. someone's heart is burning š jealous prem š it wasreally a pleasant surprise kiran š
waiting for the dhamaka
Originally posted by: ragvir92
so cute update dear
nice plan by premya prem is right about manmeet thingYay now they are gonna disclose their relationship I am thinking abt others reactionReally niceEagerly wating
Originally posted by: lakshmi_3004
my feedback for chapter 24
1]heer winkingš?? prem tho jal jal ke butta hogaya hoga becharaš¤£2]"Prem se teekha khana nahi khaya aja na." aww this is called "touch of reality "...loved the way you added a bit of realityš...great thinking dearšš¼ and "honey chilly potato" is an intelligent improvisationš...keep it upāļø3]"Prem (angrily thinking): Yeh Manmeet apnea p ko samjhta kya hai. Chilli potatoes khilane tak to thik tha. Lekin ab to kuch zyada hi ho raha hai. Agar ab isne Heer ke kareeb jane ki koshish kin a I swear mae bhool jaounga ki yeh mera dost hai." aww Angry HC ...i mean Premš³...i just can imagine his hands balling up ...shivering in pure anger...grinding teeth...thanks for including Jealous angry HC...i mean Prem.š¤...love you for thisā¤ļø4]i almost forgot that Ash and Mish are also there in this FF...5]"Bharat milaap" seriously kunal never fails to crack me upš¤£...you have a nice sense of humorš...nice comic touchšš¼...adds that extra zing to the ffš³6]"Prem (thinks): Atleast waha to muje Heer ke sath akele time milega.Heer (thinks): Kash waha muje Prem ke sath thorda time akele spend karne ko mile." bechara prem aur heeršTaras gayein hein APNI heer/prem ke saat kuch waqt akele bitaanekoš...thoda tho rehem karo apne heer/prem deewaane/deewaani peš”...kaleja hey kya pathar š”š* does nautanki and keeps left hand on forehead*7]i had no idea KDMHMD forum band hogayi š²...sorry to hear that well nice move that you shifted it to fanfiction sectionš³...thanks for doing soš¤8]awesome write up dearš...magar it was short hence i was not able to analyse the continuity ...the technicality...and the quality conformation of the FF...š³9]magar i liked this chapter a lotš!! short but sweetš³10] thank you for giving me a chance to review the FF dear and keep my views in front of youš¤
i just love ur comments dearOriginally posted by: lakshmi_3004
feedback for chapter 25
Chapter-25-In Ward Lake1]The pic is so cuteš!! nice place dearš³ ....i remember 26th/29th march 2009 episode jab prem was crying sitting on a small brifge like this thinking heer loved only his face not him...š2]"There are many couples sitting on benches, under the tree or near the lake" nice touch of detailing dearš maintains the believable aspect of the FFāļø...gives a solid scenario...nice thinkingš3]"Heer is busy in chatting with Ash and Misha. And our Prem is continuously trying to get Heer's attention. But Heer is not looking at him even for one second." i can imagine prem trying to catch Heer's attentionš!! remember his and heer's mehendi?? the broken mirror ...and i like the way you said "our" prem....makes this FF a tad more personalš.. brings the reader the narrator and the characters of teh story much more close..thanks for thinking in that wayš¤4]"Prem (frustratedly thinking):- Yeh Heer bhi na, Ash or Misha se to aese baat karne mae lagi hui hai jaise unse sadiyo baad mil rahi ho. Meri taraf to dekh bhi nahi rahi huh!!!" Adorable angry young man....i just can't stop going.š¤£š¤£...thinking about prem's failed attempts𤣠and heer's chattingš¤£5]"Heer (thinks):- Oh God yeh manmeet to mere piche hi pard gaya hai. Muje to Prem ke sath baithna hai. Ab kya karun" Classic Heer.š¤£... Damsel in Distressš¤...hamesha kahina kahi phasjaati heyš”...cute heerš...6]i can imagine heer nervously smiling and hesitating a lot to accept the invitation and pinning all her hope on prem to SAVE herš...and did prem looked like this?7]"Heer slowly stretch her hand to keep her palm on Manmeet's palm but before she could put her palm on Manmeet's she was stopped by Prem's scream" very very DRAMATIC!!!š¤£i could imagine..heer's hand slowwwly inching towards manmeet's outstretched handsš...then the video panning and focussing on manmeet's hand ...heer's hand...heer's face..prem's face...then heer's hand...prem's face...then heer's face...she swallowing down..in hesitaion...then again prem's face..heer's hand...then a fast play of all the three subjects "with zuzuk zuzuk BG soundš* then suddenly Prem bucling up ...bending forward screaming!! then heer's shocked face manmeet's face now turns towards prem...and a still on every one's shocked face one by one as they watch prem screaming in pain...8]"Prem (screamed):- aaahhhahahaaa!!!!" but seriously i was so immersed in FF that i was shocked a bitš²...how dare you keep prem in pain even though jhoot moot ka...š”but nice thinkingš...although age old ideaš¤ to draw attention of his sajni and escaping from the annoying peopleš” and kabaab emin haddi manmeetš”9]i was expecting manmeet will be sucpicious cos of the TIMING of his pain...can't prem build up his dramaš”?? sort of leading to painš¤...so that no one could be suspiciousš?? anaari hey bilkul anaari š”ab kya karein iss jhalle ka??š¤10]i can see where prem is coming fromš...from his pOV he is in danger of losing heer anytime...cos of not saying truth out...and personally i dint like the behaviour of chipku-manmeetš”...arey kunal, thick friend of P and H din't take any liason with heer till nowš³...but here manmeet is going on like a breakless gaadiš”š¤£11] waiting for your "Big Dhamaaka"...š12]awesome write upš!! nice hold on story even though you had discontinued for some time..in between...nice continuity is maintained through outšš¼...nice scene build upš...location was used wiselyš!! the reactions of various characters where well drawn outāļø...specially the car mein ice cream wala scene ,prem's nautanki etc!!š³13] thanks for giving me a chance to review your work dearš¤
Originally posted by: priyahmt
awww..i just realised that i missed this chapter..
awesome kiran..loved prem's possessiveness..haha..cant wait to see premeer telling this to family and will start official romancing..update soon...thanks for pm..
sorry for too late... all chapis are fabulouse... prem is soo naughty ... i don't like manmet, heer se free hue ja raha tha... huh...
thanks for pm... continue soon
sorry for too late... all chapis are fabulouse... prem is soo naughty ... i don't like manmet, heer se free hue ja raha tha... huh...
thanks for pm... continue soon
Chapter-26
While enjoying the long drive with Prem, Heer got a call from her sister Meher
Heer:- hello!!!
Meher:- Hello di ap kahan ho.
Heer:- Umm Meher mae Prem ke sath hun. Kyun kya hua?
Meher:- Kuch nahi di actually hum sab log juneja mansion mae hi hain. To mae ne apko isiliye call kiya hai ki ap ghar mat jana seedha juneja mansion hi ajana ok
Heer:- thik hai Meher hum juneja mansion ate hai
Meher:- ok di bye
Heer:- Bye!!!
They disconnected the call and Prem asked Heer
Prem:- Kya hua kya keh rahi thi meher
Heer:- Meher keh rhi thi ki meri family tumhare ghar pe hai to Maan villa mat jana. Seedha juneja mansion ana
Prem:- Hmm acha hai. I think this is right time to reveal our relationship in front of our families
Heer:- Lekin Prem abhi!!! Itni jaldi.
Prem:- Han Heer mae humare bare sabko jitni jaldi ho sake bata dena chahata hun. Or tum nervous kyun ho rahi hi. Mae huna tumhare sath. To bhi hoga we'll face it together hmm.
Heer nervously smiled and nodded
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Soon both reach at Juneja Mansion
Seeing Prem Gayatri came forward worriedly
Gayatri (worriedly):- Prem tu thik haina beta. Kunal bata raha tha kit ere pait mein bohot dard ho raha tha. Abhi bhi dard ho raha hai kya han?
Prem:- ma mae bilkul thik hun. Ap ghabraiye mat. Dekhiye mae bilkul thik apke samne kharda hun. I am perfectly alright.
Prem hugged Gayatri
Kunal:- Prem tu doctor ke pass gaya than a. kya kaha doctor ne?
After hearing Kunal's voice Prem and Heer realized that not only their family members are present but Manmeet and his family, Ash and Misha and their family and Kunal's family are also there.
Prem and Heer looked eachother and then the whole crowd confusingly
Seeing Premeer confusion Kunal asked again
Kunal:- kya hua Prem tu kuch bol kyun nahi raha. Heer tum batao kya kaha doctor ne
Heer (looked at Prem):- umm wo kunal umm actually wo'
Prem:- Kunal actually hua yeh ki hum doctor ke pass ja hi rahe the but raaste mein mera pait dard thik ho gaya tha to hum doctor ke pass nhi gaye
Manmeet (suspiciously):- to phir tum dono kahan the?
Prem:- wo umm'
But Balraj interrupted this KBC section
Balraj:- acha chalo chordo yeh sab. Ab to Prem thik haina. Prem Heer tum dono aao idhar betho. Hum sab ko tum dono se baat bohot zarori baat karni hai
Premeer got curious. After greeting everyone both sit beside teji and Balraj
Prem:- kya hua uncle
Balraj:- dekho Prem aj hum sab tum dono se seedhi seedhi baat karna chahate hai. Lalit, Gayatri bhabi, Teji or mae ne hum sab yeh chahate the ki tumhara or Heer ka rishta jorde. Hum sab ko yahi lagta tha kit um dono ek doosre se pyar karte ho.
Prem and Heer both become shocked and happy on the sametime
Lalit:- Lekin ab humlog jan chuke hain kit um dono sirf best friends ho or kuch nahi or isiliye jab Heer ke liye Manmeet ka rishta aya to humne unhe han kardi.
Prem and Heer got shocked and Manmeet start blushing
Heer:- Kyaaa umm lekin
Teji:- mae janti hun Heer kit u abhi shaadi ke liye taiyar nahi hai. Lekin beta Manmeet tujhe bohot pasand karta hai or wo tujhse shaadi karna chahata hai. To humne is rishtey ke liye han kardi.
Prem become angry after hearing Teji's words " that Manmeert love heer'his Heer'.how dare he"
But before Heer could react on the situation Prem came angrily towards Manmeet grab his collar.
Prem (angrily):- How dare u? teri himmat kese hui meri Heer se pyar karne ki. Tujhe kya lagta hai tu Heer se pyar karta hai or Heer bhi khushi khushi teri ho jayegi han? Aesa kabhi nahi hoga. Mae aisa kabhi nahi hone dunga. Use pehle mae teri jaan le lunga. Heer teri kabhi nahi ho sakti. Wo sirf meri hai sirf meri!!! Smjha tu!!!
Seeing Prem's outburst Preet and Kunal quickly came forward to hold Prem
Preet:- PB yeh kya kar rahe ho. Chordo Manmeet bhai ko. PB chordo.
Kunal:- Prem chord Manmeet ko kya kar raha hai tu
Seeing this angry and possessive side of Prem everyone got shocked especially Heer
Prem (angrily):- Mae tujhe nahi chordunga. Heer sirf Meri hai. Pyar karta hun mae Heer se
All got shocked after hearing Prem' s confession
Lalit (angrily):- Kya kaha tune Prem? Tu Heer se pyar karta hai tu han? Pyar karta hai tu Heer se?
Prem (head down):- ji bauji
Balraj (looking at Heer angrily):- Heer kya tu bhi Prem se pyar karti hai?
Heer (nervously):- umm wo ji papaji
Balraj (angrily shouted):- Kyat u Prem se pyar karti hai!!!
Heer (nervously):- umm nahi papaji wo'
Balraj (angrily):- kya tu Prem se pyar nhi karti!!!
Heer (startled):- Nahi'han karti hun'matlab nahi wo mae han'.
Seeing the hilarious expression of Premeer everybody started laughing holding their stomachs
Prem and Heer got confused why are they laughing like that
Heer (confusingly):- Ap sab log aese kyun has rahe ho
Preet:- hahahaah so finally hum sabki mehnat rang lai. Congratulate everyone mission Premeer milao accomplishes hahahaha
Prem(shocked):- kya "Mission Premeer milao" yeh sab kya hai
Kunal:- Mae bata hun Prem. Mujhe pata hai ki tu apne ap ko bohot smart samjhta hai but for your kind information I tell ki tu Kunal jitna smart nahi hai. Tujhe kya laga tha ki tu or Heer hum sabse yeh baat chupaoge apne rishtey k bare mae to hum sab ko pata nahi chalega han. But you are absolutely wrong hum sab ko pata hai tum dono ke bare mae. Tum dono ko kya lagta hai ki tu or Heer Lover's Point pe mujhse chupke nikal gaye or muje pata hi nahi chalega han. Balki sach to yahi hai ki mae ne tum dono ko wahan pe dikh liya tha. Or tabhi mae ne Lalit uncle or Balraj uncle se baat karke yeh plan banaya.
Heer (shocked):- kya!!!
Manmeet:- Ji han or yahi sach hai. Or aj ka jo hangout karna ka plan bhi hum sabka tha yeh confirm krne ke liye ke tumhare or Prem ke beech mein akhir chal kya raha hai. or isiliye mae Heer se overfriendly hone ki koshish kar raha tha. Or yeh sab karne ke liye mujhe Lalit uncle, Balraj uncle or Kunal ne kaha tha. Actually sach to ye hai ki Me and Ash are seeing eachother. Or humlogo ke parents hamare rishtey ke liye man bhi gayen hai.
Ash:- exactly!!! Heer mae or Misha achanak caf aese hi nahi pohoch gaye the. Actually jab muje is Plan k bare mae pata chala ki Manmeet tumhare kareeb jane ki koshish karega to umm mae thordi jealous ho gait hi heheheh or Manmeet pe nazar rakhne ke liye Misha ke sath caf pohonch gai thi.
Prem (shocked):- Oh my God!!! Itna barda plan
Teji:- Ji han. Or tu barda chup rustam nikala han (Teji said while catching Prem's ear). Chup chup ke meri beti ke sath pyar ke geet gar aha tha han
Heer blushed
Prem:- ahhh aunty kaan chordiye na muje dard ho raha hai
Teji (let go his ear):- chal ja maaf kiya tuje
Gayatri (angrily):- lekin mae isse bil kul bhi maaf nahi karoungi
Prem:- Maa I am sorry (holding his ears)
Gayatri:- Nahi
Prem:- Maa please!!!
Gayatri:- ek shart pe maaf karoungi. Tujhe mujhse ek wada karna hoga
Prem:- Kaisa wada ma?
Gayatri:- wada kar ki tu hamesha meri Heer ko khush rakhega or use kabhi koi takleef nahi hone dega
Prem (smiled):- I promise ma
Prem hugged Gayatri and she extend her hand towards Heer so that trio can hug
Kulraj:- chalo ab sab thik ho hi gaya hai to ab jald se jald shaadi ke date pakki karwade. Kyn bauji
Lalit:- Han bilkul shub kaam mae deri kaisi
Both Heer and Prem blushed seeing each other
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[ok guys here is the 26th chapter eagerly waiting for your comments. Ok one more thing, actually I m going out with family for holidays, so I'll be inactive from 8th jan to 24th jan. so next part will be updated only after 25th jan. till than please wait patiently. Thank you]