my feedback for chapter 24
1]heer winking😉?? prem tho jal jal ke butta hogaya hoga bechara🤣
2]"Prem se teekha khana nahi khaya aja na." aww this is called "touch of reality "...loved the way you added a bit of reality👏...great thinking dear👍🏼 and "honey chilly potato" is an intelligent improvisation😆...keep it up⭐️
3]"Prem (angrily thinking): Yeh Manmeet apnea p ko samjhta kya hai. Chilli potatoes khilane tak to thik tha. Lekin ab to kuch zyada hi ho raha hai. Agar ab isne Heer ke kareeb jane ki koshish kin a I swear mae bhool jaounga ki yeh mera dost hai." aww Angry HC ...i mean Prem😳...i just can imagine his hands balling up ...shivering in pure anger...grinding teeth...thanks for including Jealous angry HC...i mean Prem.🤗...love you for this❤️
4]i almost forgot that Ash and Mish are also there in this FF...
5]"Bharat milaap" seriously kunal never fails to crack me up🤣...you have a nice sense of humor😆...nice comic touch👍🏼...adds that extra zing to the ff😳
6]"Prem (thinks): Atleast waha to muje Heer ke sath akele time milega.Heer (thinks): Kash waha muje Prem ke sath thorda time akele spend karne ko mile." bechara prem aur heer😔Taras gayein hein APNI heer/prem ke saat kuch waqt akele bitaaneko😒...thoda tho rehem karo apne heer/prem deewaane/deewaani pe😡...kaleja hey kya pathar 😡😆* does nautanki and keeps left hand on forehead*
7]i had no idea KDMHMD forum band hogayi 😲...sorry to hear that well nice move that you shifted it to fanfiction section😳...thanks for doing so🤗
8]awesome write up dear👏...magar it was short hence i was not able to analyse the continuity ...the technicality...and the quality conformation of the FF...😳
9]magar i liked this chapter a lot😃!! short but sweet😳
10] thank you for giving me a chance to review the FF dear and keep my views in front of you🤗
Edited by lakshmi_3004 - 12 years ago
Fan Fictions
Cricket
