Wishing you all a Very Happy and Blessed New Year Ahead...
Take care š¤
Forever
I stood by the window letting the feeling of being appreciated by people sink inā¦ True I couldn't see them smile, true I couldn't see their joining hands, true I couldn't see their appreciating faces but I could always hear the thunderous claps as soon as I conclude my performance, grooving to the music for me is passion and I'm thankful to him for being thereā¦ making all this possible, I could still hear the commotion on the other side of the door and I know that there are many admirers who wanted to see meā¦ tell me how much they liked my dance but I'm not expecting to see any of themā¦ No I'm not being rudeā¦ I love them and I respect them for appreciating my talent, it's just that I don't want them to sympathize with me or even misuse meā¦ It's almost two years since I entered the world of darknessā¦ where you're eluded from the beautiful vision around youā¦ I had lost my vision in a fateful accident, I couldn't accept the ugly truth of my life as soon as I woke on the hospital bed, blinking but seeing nothing but darkness engulfing was horrifying, the feeling of being surrounded by darkness was starting to drawn me into the sea of hurt and broken dreamsā¦ I could only see my life being broken into pieces which could be never put back togetherā¦ If I'm standing here at this stage of my life it's only because of the lovely people I am blessed withā¦ My sister Jeevika, she was so determined to bring me out of the world of depression she literally moved in with me forgetting all her responsibilities as a wifeā¦ And my jiju was such a sweet person that he stood beside my sister with each and every decision she took, he was less a brother-in-law and more a father for me, matured, responsible yet extremely cute.
I came out of my chain of thoughts as the phone I was holding tightly in the fist started to buzz,
"Manviā¦" the squeal was so high pitched that I had to move the mobile away from my poor ear in order to save it from any damages,
"Anjieā¦" I tried to match her tone with a squeal, Anjali is my best friend cum secretary, she was the one who helped me with my performances, I just had to go and dance all the other formalities and jobs were done by Anjie and Anirudh another very close friend of mine and boyfriend of Anjie,
I smiled listening to Anjie as she ranted about the success of the program which was held today, I could hear Anirudh pleading her to let him talk to me, I chuckled at their antics, they were one such cute couple I have ever seen, Anjie finally passed the call to Anirudh after her continuous rant and he asked me to stay ready to get back home after his part of speech,
I was waiting for Anirudh to pick me after dumping all my things into the bag, Jeevika di had packed half of the things before she left for her check-up with jiju, I had asked her to call me as soon as she finishes with the scanning process, I couldn't wait to know about my niece/nephew, I sometimes wonder how they would look, like di, like jiju or a perfect combination of both, both ways, I'm sure that they would look beautifulā¦ but I wouldn't be able see them, that single thought overshadowed my heart with a familiar tug, though I have managed to lead my life without totally depending on others, the feeling of not being able look at your loved ones has always made me nostalgic, did I not appreciate what I had few years ago? Did I take my life and blessings for granted? I don't really know, I have always admired nature, I loved looking at trees dance according to the blowing wind, I have loved the cute little chirping birds hopping around the house, I have loved feeling and looking at the cluttering rainā¦ Oh I could never conclude the listā¦ I miss seeing thingsā¦ I miss seeing colorsā¦ I miss looking at myself in the mirror, I miss looking at my di's bright smile, I miss looking at the affectionate look jiju used to give diā¦ and mostly I miss looking at him, Virat my best friend since forever, I can still remember the mischievous glint his eyes used to hold, did he still look the same? Has he now grown into a wise and matured looking man? I didn't knowā¦ It is hard to conclude because he still behaves the same with meā¦ he is the only person who never pitied me ever since my accident, he had always been the annoying creature I have ever confronted, he has a special interest in annoying the hell out of me, but now it's different, things are changingā¦ to be more specific my feelings towards him are changing, I no longer get annoyed when he flirts with me, I just feel my cheeks turn warm, I no longer feel like giving him tips to attract the hot girl comes his way, I just feel like vanishing all the girls into thin air, Is it only me? Is the only question which rules my mind whenever I'm with him, I sometimes feel that he has something in him for me too, but my feelings and the desperate need of wanting the feelings to be reciprocated stops me from believing it, I can surely say that we have grown more closer to each other than before but can I take it as more than friendship? Having no idea about his feelings towards me drives me crazyā¦ I wish I could seeā¦ I wish I could distinguish the looks he gives meā¦ I wish I could let him know about my feelingsā¦ but the fear of being pushed away was stopping me from opening up, What if he didn't want me to be more than a friend to him? What if he knew but didn't want me? All these thoughts were making me restless and his absence here in this occasion was making it worseā¦
I jerked a bit as soon as I heard him enter the room with a cheerful greeting,
"Hey loveā¦ Sorry for being lateā¦ So how did it all go?" he asked making me sit on the couch and occupying the free space next to me, I smiled at his flirty nature, he has always been like thisā¦ An extreme charmer,
"You should have been here if you were so interestedā¦" I replied him the smile still not leaving my face, I wanted to sound angry but I couldn't help, I was hopelessly in love with my best friend Virat Vadhera,
"Oh nowā¦ Don't show me that attitude of yoursā¦ You know that I would never miss anything related to you just like thatā¦" he denied and then complained at the same time, trueā¦ he never misses any of my performances, he even manages to squeeze out time from his tightest schedules to travel out of city for some of my events, but for how long? I wonderedā¦ Is 'forever' possible? Will he be able to always keep me on the top priority? What will happen if he gets committed to someone and decides to move on and settle? I turned my face away, I didn't want him to witness the moisture which was starting to coat my eyes,
"So?" Virat moved closer to me while lacing his fingers with mine,
"Soā¦ What?" I wanted to sound annoyed but my voice came out too soft for my own liking,
He must have noticed the change as I felt him shift slightly and then hold me with the shoulder to make me face him,
"Heyā¦" he whispered and that soft yet comforting whisper only made me want to snuggle into him and cry my heart out and that is what I exactly did, I felt him snake his arms around my waist and pull me closer to him with few soft comforting wordsā¦ I guess, I really didn't care to listen to what he was saying, because I knew that he was very bad at consoling people, to be particular I didn't want to feel anything but the warmth which was emanating from him, I didn't care what I was going to tell him after the breakdown, I didn't care about my eyeliner spoiling his perfect three piece suite as I can feel, I didn't care about someone walking into the room and witnessing my unstoppable tears, I just wanted to let go off all the pent up emotions which was suffocating me for months, I agreeā¦ I agree that it was my mistake, I shouldn't have let my thoughts go astray, I shouldn't have crossed the limits of friendship, I should have known that nothing came with the 'forever' guarantee card, I should have known that I will have to let go of him somedayā¦ I could feel my inside cringe with the thought of leading a life without him, I shook my head discarding the thought and felt Virat moving the fringes away from my face, I knew that he was trying to interpret my mood but I didn't want him toā¦ I didn't want him to read my eyes, the raw emotions it carried at the moment will give away my feelings, something I was not ready to face, I can't let him know,
"Open your eyes Manvi," He demanded,
"What difference would it make Virat?" I asked not wanting to give in,
"What the hell Manviā¦" frustrated, I knew why he reacted that way, I have never spoken to him in this manner after losing my eye sight, I used to be sarcastic or joking about it but never pitied myself,
"What? I didn't say anything wrongā¦ Keeping my eyes open or closedā¦ all I see is darkness, nothing elseā¦" I tried to move away from him but he didn't budge even an inch, I gave up and rested my head against his chest, I felt strained or tiredā¦ I didn't know,
"But I see a lot in there Manvi," Virat whispered softly and I opened my eyes at his tone, he never spoke to me so tenderly, not even when he saw me after the accident, he was away for three months and that is when I lost my sight, we didn't inform him till he returned, what all he did after getting to know was engulfing me in a rib cracking hug,
"Why are you crying?" Virat asked and I tried to move away from him unwillingly, I don't think that I would be able think straight when he is that close to me,
"Stop being so dramatic Viratā¦ I just felt upset and that's itā¦ Why are pestering me so much?" why can't he understand that it's better to keep some things unsaid,
"Damn it Manviā¦" He shook me hard with the shoulder and I just froze out of shock,
"How long are you going to keep pretending? How long are you going to keep running away?" He screamed but didn't give me any chance to reply, "Why can't you just admit that you love me?" his voice held so much pain and hurt that I couldn't bring myself up to even move my lips, there was a short yet very awkward silence, I was still trying to take in his outburst, I didn't understand what gave away my feelingsā¦ That didn't matter anymore, but did he really want me to confess my feelings?
"Fineā¦" Virat spoke out and I tried to concentrate on what he was going to say,
"I don't know why you're being so difficult, but I'm sure that you would never acceptā¦" he dragged the last few words with clear disappointment, so he thinks that I didn't want to accept my feelings towards him, I suddenly felt like smiling,
"But I can't keep my feelings locked anymoreā¦ So Manvi I love you, Will you be mine forever?" I can feel him sitting on the floor in front me as he held my palm on his own, I have been wanting to experience this feeling since forever, so that it's here, I yet again felt myself freeze,
"Manviā¦" His voice was almost trembling,
"Viratā¦ Iā¦ youā¦ what?" I stuttered, I wanted to speakā¦ I wanted tell him that I love him, that I would give anything to have a 'forever' with him but, I couldn'tā¦
"Manvi I know that you love meā¦ I can see thatā¦ but I justā¦ tell meā¦ just onceā¦ I promiseā¦ I would neverā¦ never flirt with any other girlā¦ I swear," he concluded seriously and I could feel the edges if my lips lift a little and a chuckle escape,
"Viratā¦" I laughed and felt him return back to the couch,
"Soā¦" he probed,
"Yesā¦" I replied still not having enough courage to confess,
"Yesā¦ What?" he whined, he was so stubborn and difficult to handle,
"I will be yours foreverā¦" I replied and tried to hide my warm cheeks,
"Andā¦?" he cupped my face inching closer,
"Andā¦ I love you tooā¦" I confessed just before his warm lips hovered over mineā¦
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Sorry if the ending looked too abrupt... It was getting too long and I realized that writing One shots are not my cup of tea... š³ Sorry for that...
P.S. This is my first try on writing an OS... Do tell me how you liked it and the people who have read "Beyond Control" Tell me how you'll felt about my new writing style... I'm extremely nervousš³š³š³
