Gulabia was a very good mother at the beginning.
She struck a fine balance between dealing with reality of providing for her family (her greedy brothers demands/desires knew no bounds) and not wanting to break her daughters dreams.
She was pragmatic - on one hand knowing that Sugni's fate was going the same as hers in the long run but on the other hand not wanting to dillusion her daughter. She use to make comments like its fine to dream but its wrong to expect those dreams to come true.
Its only when the Reva track came along that her character along all the other characters got butchered. Her bringing Reva out was the right thing to do. Any mother would the same (Bedni or not). It was her methods that I disliked and critised. She is an adult and have dealt with Thakur's all her life so she should have known that being crude, vulgar, physically and verbally abusive was not the way to handle things.
But IMHO she is not a good mother because she did not stop sugni doing her Sardhakai and marry Adi.
If your 18/19 year daughter comes and tell you that she going to do her Sardhakia and won't listen to reason that you do whatever it takes (lock in her a room, tie her to a chair) to stop her and make her see reason.
You also do not blackmail the nephew of the man you are trying to keep out of your daughter's life to marry your daughter, participate in lying to his family about your bakground when you know how they feel about your cast and you definately do not let your daughter marry the nephew at a gun point because her pride is hurt rather than walk away from the lot of them.
A mother is not just someone who protects her childern and wants their daughters dreams come true but also someone who teaches her childern the difference between right and wrong and when necessary acts as the adult and make tough decisions even if her daughter does not like it. She did not do this which is why IMHO she is not a good mother.
My comments are in context of Gulabia's character. They are in no way absolving the WRONG done by other characters in this crazy show.