RK's disinvestment in relationships

He has always kept his emotions on guard. He has created, fostered, played his bad-boy image with full justice. On the fateful day when the world came crumbling down around him, all he could understand was that his best buddy was not there to stand by him or protect him and his father after all. He had always thought that he is one of the children in this world who had had the most protected life. He had his doting father who was nothing but the world for him. He thought he had his Bappaji, the supreme power, who was there to bless them with nothing less than the ever-happy life. RK never thought or rather wanted to see or experience anything other than what he enjoyed then. Alas, every good thing doesn't last too long. There has to be fair share of twists and turns in the growing years to make one appreciate the enormity yet simplicity of life. God planned the destiny that turned his life topsy-turvy overnight.

RK had the first taste of the reality of life the fateful day. He had lost half himself when he lost his father and the rest of him died the numb death when his mother remarried. Every relationship that he took for granted turned out to be null and void. All of a sudden the bond of humans and relations became brittle and baseless. No one seemed to belong to him anymore. He concluded that life is just a show where everyone comes and goes and nothing ties the actors in the show to each other. They play their role and move on or disappear. This is what he concluded about people and relations. He stopped caring, sharing, feeling, expecting, taking or giving. He just wants to feel the coldest so that there is enough numbness in the body to ward off the yearning for love, warmth, and sense of belonging. He does not want to love or be loved again for the fear of being betrayed or deserted.

That is the reason he kept Madhu at a distance and often kept reminding her and himself about the terms of their relationship. His changed behavior towards her is getting beyond his understanding. The real RK that she didn't fail to discover and does not fear to revive in him is something that he thought he had long lost sensing. She intimidates him when she looks at him with those deep and prodding eyes. Her soft smile moves something deep inside him. Her innocence fills the vacuum in his being. Her entry into his life has swept the warmth back into his otherwise cold heart. And these realizations are daunting him. He is scared of losing his make-believe grounds. He is terrified of getting injured again. So the more she tries to unravel, the more arrogant and unyielding he becomes.

But Madhubala doesn't give up. She has learnt to look beyond the pretentious RK. She corners him and strips his inner feelings naked. He is left feeling vulnerable and indefensible.

Madhubala tore the mask apart to reveal the grownup man who deliberately chose to stop growing emotionally and is still at 12-year-old on that front by choice. Did he like getting exposed? No! He felt horrible that his raw, throbbing wound and pain is exposed in daylight for all to see. He had maintained his inner self from prying eyes in disguise. His anger, crudeness, arrogance, insensitivity, lack of feeling and trust, highhandedness, inhumanity, and I-am-what-I-am attitude served as a mask for him to hide his true self. He hated compassion, sympathy, and empathy and all other feelings that any normal human would want to feel for his fellow beings.

Yesterday's and today's episodes showcased the two individuals who looked like they were fighting one another but actually the fight was against self and their belief. RK didn't want to relent and Madhubala couldn't help but stop RK from self-inflicated misery. The righteous and virtuous person that she is she wouldn't let anyone rot.

Her perseverance and belief did pay off. RK could not hold himself anymore when the Lord enveloped him in toto. He yielded. He decided he could not falsify his wife's belief anymore and he couldn't hurt himself in the name of hurting his Bappa anymore.

He aggressively vents his pent-up emotions. Every inch of his muscles strained to relieve the bottled up tensions of years. He let his depression and desolated feeling escape through his high-pitched calls and cries to his Lord. He hammered on the dhol until he let himself loose. His let his excitement run rampant to show his coming back home to his Bappaji. For him, coming home to his Bappaji is nothing but reinstating the self-discovery, self-importance, desires, faith, confidence, and the purpose of life in the name of God.

I liked the past two episodes very much. They gave a good insight into RK.

I have not seen Vivian in any other show before I chanced upon him in Madhubala. I am not sure if I missed his performances in his previous shows. But I am so happy that I did not miss him in this show. He is an amazing actor. Everyday he seems to be attaining a new high with his performances. I love this actor.

I loved both DD and VD immensely today. I want to give my POV on Madhubala on what she emoted today. That would run longer than my take on RK today. I think I will do it maybe tomorrow.

That's it for today. Have fun! Take care!