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The Difference Between Men and Women yash you should know about😉 - According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
- All the women moaning about finding a husband obviously never had one.
- Ask a woman how she stubbed her toe and she'll say she walked into a chair, ask a man and he'll say someone left a chair in the middle of the room.
- The difference between Government Bonds and men is that Government Bonds mature.
- The difference between man and E.T. is that E.T. phoned home.
- "Easy" is an adjective used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man. (Nancy Linn-Desmond)
- Have you ever wondered why it takes MILLIONS of sperm and only one egg to make a baby? It's because not one of those little surfers will stop and ask for directions!
- How can men and women process information differently if they're given the same information? Simple, women begin their processing by listening! (Rhonda Hansome)
- Q. How many men does it take to change a light bulb? A. One. He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
Q. How many women does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. They just sit there in the dark and complain. - If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base. (Dave Barry)
- If diamonds are a girl's best friend and a dog is man's best friend, who really is the dumber sex?
- I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me. (Elayne Boosler)
- Man has his will, but woman has her way. (Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.)
- A man is as good as he has to be, and a woman is as bad as she dares. (Elbert Hubbard)
- A man says to his wife, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state dependent on some machine. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
"OK," says his wife as she gets up and unplugs the TV. - A man thinks he knows, but a woman knows better. (Chinese proverb)
- A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need. - A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
- A man's idea of helping with the housework is lifting his legs so you can vacuum.
- Men always want to be a woman's first love, women like to be a man's last romance. (Oscar Wilde)
- Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths. (Lois Wyse)
- Men define a 50-50 relationship as you cook/I eat; you clean/I make messes; you iron/I wrinkle; etc.
- Men forget everything, women remember everything. That's why men need instant replay in sports. They've already forgotten what happened. (Rita Rudner)
- MEN need signs...WOMEN work ALL the time!
- Men play the game, women know the score. (Roger Waddis)
- Men see objects; women see the relationship between objects. (Michel Foucalt)
- Psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women because when it's time for a man to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
- She says, "He forgets stuff I tell him, so I have to repeat myself over and over again."
He says, "She nags me." - A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh! (Conan O'Brien)
- To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. - What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Tickets for the world series. (Dave Barry)
- What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 pounds - What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes - When men and women agree, it is only in their conclusions; their reasons are always different. (George Santayana)
- Wife: I hate seeing all those rear ends in the jeans commercials.
Husband: I guess they want you to see the labels.
Wife: Well, why don't they put the labels on the knees?
Husband: No one would look there! (Dik Browne) - A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. - A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.
A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. - A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's--she changes it more often!
- Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember.
- Women and cats will do exactly at they please, men and dogs should just relax and get used to it.
- Women may be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships. (James Shubert)
- Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself--like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks. (Jean Kerr)
- Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say, "Oh no, I've got to get out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."
- Would you like to speak to the man in charge or the woman who knows what's going on?
Udne Ki Aasha
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