Chapter 35
He caught her hand before she touched him, raising it slowly to his lips. He placed a feather light kiss on her upturned palm and then proceeded to kiss each of her fingertips before finally interlacing his fingers with hers. She was like a drug he couldn't get enough off and now all Arnav craved for was a desperately needed dose of the delectable woman sitting in front of him. The woman who was completely unaware of just what sort of reaction she was causing in him. For the first time in a very long time, all Arnav Singh Raizada wanted to do was... completely lose control.
Khushi gasped as he kissed her hand, his stubble lightly tickling her already supersensitised skin. She giggled as he interlaced their fingers... his gaze meeting hers. 'What's so funny Miss Gupta' he asked. 'Your stubble...it tickles' she answered honestly. Arnav let her hand drop and placed his hands around her waist, pulling her closer to him. He slowly inched forward; his intense gaze locked with hers and slowly but deliberately rubbed his cheek against hers...'still ticklish?' he asked huskily before trailing a path of tiny kisses along jaw, then her forehead...her cheeks, finally brushing his lips against hers before wandering down her neck again.
Khushi blinked several times, wondering if the blood flow to her brain had been interrupted thanks to her racing heart and strained breathing...or maybe she'd had a small stroke or seizure thanks to his touch... even though she doubted her eyes, she couldn't doubt her senses. Shivers rippled up her arms as heat flooded her. Sounds of her strained breathing collected in the back of her throat, but she could not speak. Air filled her lungs, but she could not exhale. Her legs stirred restlessly as her brain jumped from sensation to sensation, not sure which to settle upon. She felt an unfamiliar pressure, a heaviness and warmth in a place that she didn't quite recognise. She felt the flicker of his tongue and his hot breath just beneath her jaw. She shuddered. Arnav smiled against her throat. Her reaction to him delighted him... and spurred him on. The devil giggled.
Khushi felt something. She couldn't put it into words, but something was happening, something that would be leaving her forever changed. She could only gasp as she desperately tried to make sense of it all, her brain and heart both in delirious freefall. She heard a soft voice call her and felt herself being pulled into Arnav's arms.
He held her close in one arm and touched her face with the other hand, 'you ok baby..?' he murmured. Her heart pounded even harder and faster in her chest at this endearment. No one had every called her that. She looked up at him in wonder, 'Arnav... what...why...why does... is it supposed to feel... feel this good when you touch me...' she asked in a whisper. Arnav took in her amazed expression, his heart swelling with intense emotion as he smiled 'it feels like this only when two people are very lucky Khushi' he said as he cupped her cheek 'and we are already a good match.. just like we'll be a match in every other way too...' his voice trailed off but Khushi clearly understood what he meant as she reddened and hid her face in the crook of his neck, her arms winding around his waist. She took some comfort in the fact that his heart was beating just as hard and just as fast as hers. She couldn't help but sink her face into his neck, stealing a little taste of his skin as she tried unsuccessfully to calm herself down.
Arnav had already sensed the sexual tension building between them. He felt her hot tears against his skin. He pulled her back and saw the uncertainty and frustration in her eyes. She wanted him. She just couldn't understand it or she was battling it just as hard as he was. He wasn't sure which.
Khushi needed to put some space between the two of them or else she was going to explode. She pulled back and slid off the counter and walked to the windows in the lounge space. She desperately needed distance from him to at least try and clear her head. How can he be so calm and controlled when she felt so...so... . great now she couldn't even define it!!
Arnav gave her a few minutes as he quickly tidied the kitchen and then walked to where she stood. He stood beside her on her right. Khushi turned to look at him. His face was calm and composed as always. Little did Khushi know; there was a volcano of desire that Arnav was struggling very very hard to keep contained.
He faced her, 'Khushi... don't... don't look at me like that' he implored as he traced her hairline, sending warm shivers down her spine.
'Why not? Does it bother you?' She asked innocently, 'nothing seems to bother you...you're always in control' she said as she sighed.
'Khushi...you have no idea...' he replied in a husky voice 'just how... bothered I am right now'.
She arched her eyebrow at him.
He turned and faced her. 'Khushi when you asked me if it's supposed to feel this good... you felt angry, frustrated...maybe even confused about what's happening...right?'
Devi Maiya... how does he know?!!
Her silence was enough of an answer for him.
Khushi looked at Arnav 'I already know that Arnav' she said trying to sound like she wasn't completely clueless about these things. She had read enough romance novels to know... well know something about this sort of thing. What she didn't know was that no amount of reading could prepare her for what he said next.
'So you must already know what happens next...right Khushi?' he asked huskily as he stepped closer to her 'because right now you're playing a very dangerous game and if we stay on this topic... we are going end up in there... in my bed... so believe me when I tell you that... that I'm bothered too'. 'Khushi... this is happening because you are attracted to me, just as I am attracted to you Khushi...' he said quietly as he pulled her against his body. She could feel very inch of his muscular torso against her. He inched forward slightly, his hips flush against her belly. If Khushi had any doubts of just how...bothered... he might be, then this should give a her a clear and very explicit answer.
Khushi swallowed. She knew she was playing with fire, but there was a primal need that urged her to still...play. No man had ever made her feel like this and the thought that SHE bothered Arnav Singh Raizada was... well... exhilarating.
Arnav took one look at her aroused eyes and knew that she was up to no good and that his veiled threat hadn't really scared her off. This on one hand pleased him because it meant that she was getting more comfortable around him but it was bad for him because he was already struggling.
'Khushi...' he said with a hint of warning in his tone.
'Arnav...' she answered with a smile.
'Stop it' he uttered with a groan and glare.
Khushi laughed she launched herself at him and wrapped her arms around his neck. 'Arnav, in these three weeks everything you have done, you've done keeping me and my interests ahead of everything else. Even with... this... I know you won't do anything that I don't want to do'.
Arnav admired her bravery as he placed his arms around her waist 'Khushi, this is getting harder for me...touching you, holding you but stopping myself before... Khushi right now, I'm struggling very very hard... not to... to make love to you' he admitted to her in pure honesty but with slight trepidation knowing that this conversation was bound to make her nervous.
In that moment, Khushi irrevocably placed her trust in the man that stood humbly before having acknowledged his true intent without any deceit. If he really wanted to, he could have taken her without a single argument from her...because today she struggled with it as much as he did.
Khushi looked into his eyes appreciating his candidness. His passion and intensity took her breath away but it was Arnav's tenderness undid her. Until now she had only seen his rough business exterior, but now that she knew that he possessed a tender side where he was trying his level best to take care of her and meet every one of her needs... her resolve started to break...she never imagined in a million years that she would be having this sort of conversation with Arnav Singh Raizada, but for some reason it didn't feel wrong or vulgar... maybe it was at best slightly premature given that their relationship was only two weeks old but Khushi knew that whether it happened now or later, it was time to be just as honest with him as he had been with her. She took a deep breath for courage, her heart thudding in her chest as she looked into his eyes 'Arnav...I've...I've never been with a man but I need you to know that for me...before I... I do that... I need to go through marriage and its rituals which I hold sacred.' She took another deep breath 'Arnav for me, it's not only about joining of the souls in presence of sacred mantras before union of bodies but it's about exchanging vows of love, duty, respect, fidelity and promising to be each other's companions forever in front of the entire universe and all its energies before... giving myself. Arnav, right now...I want you too and... I want you to be my first... but I need you to know this matters to me and don't want you... to think that I'm...teasing you or playing hard to get' she said her gaze still locked with his despite the severe case of nerves associated with this conversation as she let go of the breath she didn't even realise she'd been holding.
Arnav couldn't help but sigh. Could she get any more perfect he wondered? He knew it would have taken a major leap of faith on her part to even bring this up with him, let alone express herself so eloquently and honestly. It must have been really important for her if she had brought it up with him. He pulled her close and kissed her lips softly. 'Khushi, I won't lie to you but as you've probably guessed... this won't.. it isn't the first time for me. What is a first time for me, just like you, is being in a committed relationship. Khushi, I promise you that we won't do anything you aren't ready for or you don't want to do. Khushi, I would never even dream of pushing you into this. I respect you too much to do that and while I respect where you are coming from and you are right in your views; I am going to be very honest with you and tell you this now Khushi... I'm not religious. I don't follow rituals... And I don't think.. I don't believe in marriage either...' he said quietly knowing this would very well be the statement that was the ultimate deal breaker that spelt the end of this relationship.
My Darlings...
Ok given that I've been indulging you in lonnnggg updates, it is impossible for me to make them more frequent. I trust you understand where I'm coming from.
In relation to this update...I know you will either love or hate this chapter so I'm wearing a double dose of thick skin for added protection! Just remember what I said at the end of the last chapter...
Edited by warriorprincess - 11 years ago
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