I considered doing my analysis, but not up to it tonight, feeling lazy. So instead, I'm going to do something I don't usually do in IF. Didn't come out the way I was expecting. Yikes!! I make Aarti sound so depressedđđ
USS RAAT SUBAH NAHINđ
You left me there standing,
Hurting,
Torn,
Ripped apart by your treachery and lies.
You showed me life,
Gave me hope,
Impregnated me with joy,
Then left,
Ripping a piece of my heart out with you.
I stood alone,
Son in womb,
Watching the sun leave my life.
My tears meant nothing to you.
My screams of agony,
Caressed deaf ears.
They became too loud even for me to stomach.
So I stood up.
I grew up.
I wiped my tears away,
Placed you in the back of my mind.
Yet, you I could not forget.
How could I?
Each time I looked at my son,
I saw him mourning your loss.
Every glance in the mirror,
Reminded me of you.
Your unwanted wife,
The waste of your life.
For isn't that what you saw me as?
The filth on your shoes,
To be cast off in disgust?
Yet, I ploughed on.
I lived for my son.
Not our son at all.
I lived with a fear though,
A blight of your doing;
For if you could not love me,
Then how could any other?
For if you desired me not,
Why would another?
You taught me a lesson,
I will never forget.
Your filth sullied the reflection,
I saw now in the glass;
But, I found another
One better than you.
A being of a different kind,
Who saw me as a mother.
At first he scared me,
I mistook him for you;
Another creep,
Wrapped up in the colours
Of manly lechery.
But he wasn't you.
He was him.
He was wholely and solely him.
Can you believe,
I almost lost him 'cause of you?
The funny thing is,
Once again I had fallen,
For a man enamoured with another,
Meri kismaat konnection,
Tied up with a ghost,
This undead beauty,
Who haunted our dreams.
Still though, I loved him,
Adored him,
Admired him through the haze,
His misery wrapped around him.
Do you know,
One word from him,
Wiped all your murk away?
One smile of his,
Brightens up my day?
He remained aloof,
My intangible god up in the sky.
He saw me from afar,
N'er deigning me a glance.
Why would he?
After all,
I remained as undesirable
As you said I was.
Strangely though,
The sun peaked into my little garden,
For this aloof god of mine,
Had deigned to smile at me!
Oh my God!
Thank you God!
He smiled at me!
Wait...me?
This seems to good to last.
Alas,
I was right.
Unforeseen shadows hid my sun,
My beloved god,
became angry at me.
He banished me.
Removed the brilliant sight of his smile,
From the vision of my eyes.
It was worse than losing you.
I never knew I could feel so much pain.
My heart,
Bursting with love,
Now lay battered in the rain.
Uss raat,
Murderer of my dreams;
Uss raat,
Making him scream at me;
Uss raat,
Bringing such agony to his visage;
Uss raat,
Colouring his eyes red;
Uss raat
Bringing "dhoka" to his lips;
Uss raat,
Clipping my poor wings;
Uss raat,
Laying me bare before mine enemy;
Uss raat,
Crumbling my new family;
Uss raat,
Commanding agnipariksha;
Uss raat,
Will it never end?
Kadeen Nichelle Oksana Waldron
Wednesday,
September 5, 2012
Edited by Kittya_Cullen - 13 years ago